My spouse is sabotaging my diet!
rmitchell239
Posts: 125 Member
My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
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Is she shoving them down your throat? No.
So she made some goodies. You're not obligated to eat them.
Alternatively, you can just eat them and fit them into your calorie goal. There's nothing wrong with brownies and cheesecake.
Also, can I move in? Your wife sounds like my kind of person. I want random texts of baked goodies on my phone too.0 -
Lol. Stay strong. I have to cook and bake for three adults every day. I don't eat any of it. Stick to your goals and you'll get where you want to be
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Is she shoving them down your throat? No.
So she made some goodies. You're not obligated to eat them.
Alternatively, you can just eat them and fit them into your calorie goal. There's nothing wrong with brownies and cheesecake.
Also, can I move in? Your wife sounds like my kind of person. I want random texts of baked goodies on my phone too.
This was great! Brownie required a run
a piece of cheese cake is probably 3 miles. 0 -
I live with my boyfriend, who is the "always lean no matter what" type, and my son, who plays rugby and is a long distance runner. Eating the way I do would mess them both up pretty seriously, and eating the way they do... well, that's why I'm here.
I've had this discussion with them before. My son brings in a lot of food and then eats it right away. If he's eating 2 cups of white rice or a 4 pound burrito, it's his and it's gone, so it's not as much of an issue.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, can't understand how he can have ice cream and cookies every night and still weigh less than I do. And I kind of understand that because I used to be the same way. But concussions, age, menopause and various other joys of being me have all made that a distant memory.
He's finally seeing that I'm not gorging at work and then pretending to eat lightly at home. And he watched me post on another forum the miles I walk each week. So he knows it's a real problem. What he does now is make sure that I have something I really like as an option if he's going to be buying cookies. If it's ice cream, he tends to pick something that's a "meh" flavor for me. Fruit is in a large glass bowl on the counter, while cookies are on top of the fridge.
But honestly, there comes a point where you just have to own it. It sucks that life isn't fair, but that's the reality.
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Oh, it's tough isn't it?
Seriously, is she okay with your weight loss or unhappy that you're trying? My husband keeps telling me that he likes me the way I am and I know he means it but I'm not happy with it and what I'll look like in 20 or 30 years if I don't take care of myself now. He hasn't actually gone so far as to bake me a cheesecake, though.0 -
I have a co-worker who is always bringing cookies and cake to work. I generally don't eat them because I'm not going to waste calories unless it is chocolate! She actually told me I'm rude for not eating food she brings in. I told her it would only be rude if I ASKED her specifically to bring it in and then refused to eat it.0
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Is it possible to get her to try to find some deserts that you guys can both partake in fruit salads. Bite size deserts. Nothing is wrong with sweets it's simply not something you can get everyday and all the time. The trick is not getting involved in everyone else's hang ups.0
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Ha! My wife is the same way and would be a very successful baker were she not a molecular biologist.
Damn those brownies!0 -
tell me about it....my wife is skinny as a rail and can eat anything.......sometimes i think she is trying to kill me off.....0
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Oh, it's tough isn't it?
Seriously, is she okay with your weight loss or unhappy that you're trying? My husband keeps telling me that he likes me the way I am and I know he means it but I'm not happy with it and what I'll look like in 20 or 30 years if I don't take care of myself now. He hasn't actually gone so far as to bake me a cheesecake, though.
I think she likes me fatter. She told me last night, I'm out if I lose my rear end. She was probably joking. Ha ha I'm the girl of the relationship, now you'll have to excuse me I have to go and do some squats and lunges at the gym...0 -
Have a brownie or some cheesecake...but work it into your daily calorie limit. It's all about moderation! 0
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My stepmom and step-siblings are like this. The pantry at my parents' house always looked like the Hostess truck came by and stocked it. Once I moved out it became much easier to improve my diet. But with MFP/logging it's become much easier to keep control of my diet while in such an environment.I live with my boyfriend, who is the "always lean no matter what" type, and my son, who plays rugby and is a long distance runner. Eating the way I do would mess them both up pretty seriously, and eating the way they do... well, that's why I'm here.
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rmitchell239 wrote: »My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
Does she struggle with weight and just hasn't found the motivation yet, or is she happy with her own weight? It could, and most likely is, innocent, but it could also be her not wanting you to start looking better than her, if that makes sense.
But I agree with those who have said that you just have to handle it. There will be temptation everywhere, forever. It sucks that it's in your own home and in your texts, but it's also on your drive home from work or a friend's party, etc. In times like that I ask myself if I can stay strong for one day. Just today, can I stick to my goals. That makes avoiding these things forever seem much less daunting.
And you could fit it in for the day, maybe just half a brownie or a sliver of cake if you're that strong (I'm not).
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I have a co-worker who is always bringing cookies and cake to work. I generally don't eat them because I'm not going to waste calories unless it is chocolate! She actually told me I'm rude for not eating food she brings in. I told her it would only be rude if I ASKED her specifically to bring it in and then refused to eat it.
You must work with my wife. I got into trouble one day for not eating barbque pork ribs out of a crockpot. Her reply "just go run 5 miles and burn it off." Love me some ribs...unless I have to run 5 miles for them.0 -
Is it possible to get her to try to find some deserts that you guys can both partake in fruit salads. Bite size deserts. Nothing is wrong with sweets it's simply not something you can get everyday and all the time. The trick is not getting involved in everyone else's hang ups.
Good advice!0 -
rmitchell239 wrote: »Oh, it's tough isn't it?
Seriously, is she okay with your weight loss or unhappy that you're trying? My husband keeps telling me that he likes me the way I am and I know he means it but I'm not happy with it and what I'll look like in 20 or 30 years if I don't take care of myself now. He hasn't actually gone so far as to bake me a cheesecake, though.
I think she likes me fatter. She told me last night, I'm out if I lose my rear end. She was probably joking. Ha ha I'm the girl of the relationship, now you'll have to excuse me I have to go and do some squats and lunges at the gym...
Literally laughing out loud!
Honestly, my cube-mate did this to me this morning. I brought my Greek yogurt with berries for breakfast and some tuna salad for lunch and had planned this day where I was going to be really good... and she shows up with 13 Dunkin' Donuts. A dozen for everyone else and the kind she knows is my favorite in a separate bag because she forgot to have them put that kind in with the dozen. She's not the sabotaging kind, it was pure thoughtfulness and so there was no way I wasn't going to eat that donut.0 -
what's to stop the two of you just talking to one another about it? this sounds like kind of a tangle of gestures and interpretations to me.0
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It's a test of your willpower. The more you control yourself, the stronger you become.
But... I hope she doesn't get "hurt" if you only take a bite or two. If she does, then you'll just have to make room in your calorie budget.
She's probably just teasing you...0 -
Alas, the world goes on around us without any consideration for our efforts to lose weight and get healthy. I think eating one half brownie was a brilliant solution but I can also dig that there's the rest of the pan calling your name. While we can't make everybody change for our needs, I think we do have a right to expect some support from family and friends. Try talking to her again (sans whiny voice) about what your goals are... make one of them something like 'so I'm around to love and take care of you for many years to come'. Let her know how it makes you feel when she sends photos of cheesecake. In my opinion, that's not funny, that's subversive.0
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I am guilty of making tons of baked goods knowing that my boyfriend will singlehandedly finish them off. There's some kind of satisfaction for a woman knowing your man is well fed 0
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Lmao, sorry about your thighs..0
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Now I'm sabotaging your diet. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Also, I just spent 10 minutes looking at pictures of cheesecake. Mmm, cheesecake.0 -
I'm the calorie counting nut in my household. My marine-significant other has always been well built but he also loses weight like a champ. I tend to feed him the foods I wish I could eat myself (I bake all sorts of stuff and pack him huge lunches). I didn't realize I was causing him to gain weight. Instead of telling his friends I was sabotaging him, he sat me down the other day and I asked that I start making him foods more similar to mine because he had gained back pounds that he had previously lost. He explained that, as much as he LOVES my food, he needs it in less portions. Try that.0
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that bites!0
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Have you contacted the Beastie Boys? I think they have expertise in this area.0
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@LyndseyLovesToLift oh my that first one looks amazing!
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My fiance is very supportive (even if he doesn't see why I should lose weight, he respects that I want to), all temptations are kept in his work van and he finds out how many calories I have left and checks the wrappers offering me anything.
My co-workers and I run on a system that if I want it I will ask: that goes for the cakes brought in on birthdays to the weekly KFC.
99% of people in my life are supportive.
However my nan is a feeder, in the beginning when I was trying to stop my "see food" and "living to eat" diet, she was always trying to get me to eat things that I really didn't want to eat because "one will not hurt", she once ordered a dessert at a restaurant on my behalf because she thought I should have one even though I said I was full (my other half was ecstatic because he got two lol).
After a long time of standing my gtround, she eventually stopped asking. Now I have the opposite problem. She tuts, raises her eyes and mocks me about a failed diet because I have a custard cream.
You just need to do your own thing. Eat the brownies and the cheesecakes, but only if you want to. Not because somebody else wants you to.
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It sounds like you're joking around a bit about this. If it seriously bothers you, you may have to have a more serious tone to your conversation.
She sounds super awesome, though!0 -
Ugh, my husband does this sort of thing.....What's worse, he'll even refuse to eat unless I do too (and the same thing in the same amount). I've tried explaining that a 6' man cannot eat the same as a 5'2" woman (or vice versa), but he refuses to listen. He also moans when he catches me weighing and logging my foods (I have to sneak around). I think he does it because he likes sharing food as much as eating it and also he doesn't want me to lose weight (he's just like your wife--likes me fatter, but losing the boobs is his fear! lol). It's really frustrating, though. I totally feel your pain.
I don't really have a solution (and talking about it really hasn't helped), just that some days I do better than others. And, if I know he's wanting to eat out or cook me something, I plan ahead by minimally eating the rest of the day (like a packet of tuna and some lettuce for lunch). That helps me fit in the "shares". I also try to take over the cooking and dishing of food so that I can sneak in weighing everything and sneak him larger (size appropriate) portions by piling them differently. I get called "controlling" but it's worth it! lol0
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