My spouse is sabotaging my diet!
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Could be all kinds of things going on. A little insecurity that if you lose weight you'll be more attractive to other women, validation that she's still a good wife by baking you goodies that you love, more focus on her, less on you, etc. I'm guilty of baking goodies for my thin husband and not eating them myself. Kind of a vicarious indulgence, I suppose. At least someone gets to enjoy them.
I used to have the co-worker thing, too. Someone always bringing in snacks and goodies then acting hurt if you don't take any. That's sabotage, in my opinion. Sometimes I'd take something back to my desk, wrap it up and take it home to thin hubby just to avoid the hurt feelings.0 -
My wife is not much of a cook but is an excellent baker. She has been evolving from cookies to brownies to cakes and now is making these killer cheesecake brownies. I understand temptation. Here my the solution. Have a small piece and enjoy it. There is nothing wrong with a treat from time to time.0
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ercarroll311 wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
Does she struggle with weight and just hasn't found the motivation yet, or is she happy with her own weight? It could, and most likely is, innocent, but it could also be her not wanting you to start looking better than her, if that makes sense.
But I agree with those who have said that you just have to handle it. There will be temptation everywhere, forever. It sucks that it's in your own home and in your texts, but it's also on your drive home from work or a friend's party, etc. In times like that I ask myself if I can stay strong for one day. Just today, can I stick to my goals. That makes avoiding these things forever seem much less daunting.
And you could fit it in for the day, maybe just half a brownie or a sliver of cake if you're that strong (I'm not).
It takes a stronger man than I to resist brownies straight out of the oven. I took your advice last night, I had 1/2 of one.0 -
LeslieB042812 wrote: »Ugh, my husband does this sort of thing.....What's worse, he'll even refuse to eat unless I do too (and the same thing in the same amount). I've tried explaining that a 6' man cannot eat the same as a 5'2" woman (or vice versa), but he refuses to listen. He also moans when he catches me weighing and logging my foods (I have to sneak around). I think he does it because he likes sharing food as much as eating it and also he doesn't want me to lose weight (he's just like your wife--likes me fatter, but losing the boobs is his fear! lol). It's really frustrating, though. I totally feel your pain.
I don't really have a solution (and talking about it really hasn't helped), just that some days I do better than others. And, if I know he's wanting to eat out or cook me something, I plan ahead by minimally eating the rest of the day (like a packet of tuna and some lettuce for lunch). That helps me fit in the "shares". I also try to take over the cooking and dishing of food so that I can sneak in weighing everything and sneak him larger (size appropriate) portions by piling them differently. I get called "controlling" but it's worth it! lol
Planning ahead is great advice, thanks!!0 -
Alas, the world goes on around us without any consideration for our efforts to lose weight and get healthy. I think eating one half brownie was a brilliant solution but I can also dig that there's the rest of the pan calling your name. While we can't make everybody change for our needs, I think we do have a right to expect some support from family and friends. Try talking to her again (sans whiny voice) about what your goals are... make one of them something like 'so I'm around to love and take care of you for many years to come'. Let her know how it makes you feel when she sends photos of cheesecake. In my opinion, that's not funny, that's subversive.
Good advice, the whiny voice was fun though! This was funny to me. Wife: I looked up the cheese cake it's 350 calories. But a slice of pumpkin pie is only 150. Me: ooooo you made pumpkin pie to!!?? Her: no.0 -
LyndseyLovesToLift wrote: »
Now I'm sabotaging your diet. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Also, I just spent 10 minutes looking at pictures of cheesecake. Mmm, cheesecake.
Yeah now I'm just hungry. Haha, I skipped the cheesecake and just had some fresh pineapple. You are an evil woman.0 -
My wife is not much of a cook but is an excellent baker. She has been evolving from cookies to brownies to cakes and now is making these killer cheesecake brownies. I understand temptation. Here my the solution. Have a small piece and enjoy it. There is nothing wrong with a treat from time to time.
Wow a cheesecake brownie sounds like heaven!0 -
Did someone say cheesecake ?0
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You pass a hundred stores a day filled with junk food. America is paved and plastered and completely constructed of junk food. Just don't eat it. Of course you could go nuclear: "You make the world's lousiest cheesecake. I wouldn't eat it if it was the last morsel of food on this dying planet. " But that's not a good idea, probably. Just ignore the junk food wifey makes and enjoy her great disquisitions on Descartes and the mind-body problem and all that.0
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I understand your pain. My husband can eat whatever he wants, and doesn't gain weight. We currently have 3 bags of chips in the house that I'm trying hard to avoid. On my good days it's easy, but on my bad days, not so much.0
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LOL this has been a fun thread to read. Many similarities with others one here. My husband is also a eat-whatever-and-still-stay-slim kind of guy who buys me frikkin boxes of Ferrero chocolate as presents (I call it sabotage!). He also seems to think that everyone has the same metabolism as him and as long as you work out every.single.day like he does you can eat whatever you like. It annoys me. People at work also pass around lollies and chocolates and stuff and I have to keep declining and they look at me like I'm being rude but I have managed to tell them all that I am on a mission to look like Conan so leave me the f* alone and let me eat my way. They now still occasionally grumble but accept my rejections more readily.0
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I live with my boyfriend, who is the "always lean no matter what" type, and my son, who plays rugby and is a long distance runner. Eating the way I do would mess them both up pretty seriously, and eating the way they do... well, that's why I'm here.
I've had this discussion with them before. My son brings in a lot of food and then eats it right away. If he's eating 2 cups of white rice or a 4 pound burrito, it's his and it's gone, so it's not as much of an issue.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, can't understand how he can have ice cream and cookies every night and still weigh less than I do. And I kind of understand that because I used to be the same way. But concussions, age, menopause and various other joys of being me have all made that a distant memory.
He's finally seeing that I'm not gorging at work and then pretending to eat lightly at home. And he watched me post on another forum the miles I walk each week. So he knows it's a real problem. What he does now is make sure that I have something I really like as an option if he's going to be buying cookies. If it's ice cream, he tends to pick something that's a "meh" flavor for me. Fruit is in a large glass bowl on the counter, while cookies are on top of the fridge.
But honestly, there comes a point where you just have to own it. It sucks that life isn't fair, but that's the reality.
Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper
My husband is one of those that never has to worry about his weight and he eats an enormous amount of food. He doesn't understand how weight loss can be a struggle and I just want to wring his neck sometimes... but he's very supportive of my efforts. He'll eat whatever lowfat/low calorie creation I cook, he'll go out for a run with me whenever I ask him, he'll watch the kids so I can workout, he'll avoid snacking in the evening just not to tempt me, he never comments on my weight or suggest I eat or do anything different... he really is the best 0 -
camilacreme wrote: »LOL this has been a fun thread to read. Many similarities with others one here. My husband is also a eat-whatever-and-still-stay-slim kind of guy who buys me frikkin boxes of Ferrero chocolate as presents (I call it sabotage!). He also seems to think that everyone has the same metabolism as him and as long as you work out every.single.day like he does you can eat whatever you like. It annoys me. People at work also pass around lollies and chocolates and stuff and I have to keep declining and they look at me like I'm being rude but I have managed to tell them all that I am on a mission to look like Conan so leave me the f* alone and let me eat my way. They now still occasionally grumble but accept my rejections more readily.
Crom!! Why did you mention Conan? Now I feel bad because this was my rest day. They probably only grumble because you're making them feel guilty 0 -
I live with my boyfriend, who is the "always lean no matter what" type, and my son, who plays rugby and is a long distance runner. Eating the way I do would mess them both up pretty seriously, and eating the way they do... well, that's why I'm here.
I've had this discussion with them before. My son brings in a lot of food and then eats it right away. If he's eating 2 cups of white rice or a 4 pound burrito, it's his and it's gone, so it's not as much of an issue.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, can't understand how he can have ice cream and cookies every night and still weigh less than I do. And I kind of understand that because I used to be the same way. But concussions, age, menopause and various other joys of being me have all made that a distant memory.
He's finally seeing that I'm not gorging at work and then pretending to eat lightly at home. And he watched me post on another forum the miles I walk each week. So he knows it's a real problem. What he does now is make sure that I have something I really like as an option if he's going to be buying cookies. If it's ice cream, he tends to pick something that's a "meh" flavor for me. Fruit is in a large glass bowl on the counter, while cookies are on top of the fridge.
But honestly, there comes a point where you just have to own it. It sucks that life isn't fair, but that's the reality.
Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper
My husband is one of those that never has to worry about his weight and he eats an enormous amount of food. He doesn't understand how weight loss can be a struggle and I just want to wring his neck sometimes... but he's very supportive of my efforts. He'll eat whatever lowfat/low calorie creation I cook, he'll go out for a run with me whenever I ask him, he'll watch the kids so I can workout, he'll avoid snacking in the evening just not to tempt me, he never comments on my weight or suggest I eat or do anything different... he really is the best
Nice guy. Mine pops a bag of popcorn and waves it in front of my nose as she's walking by.0 -
willnorton wrote: »tell me about it....my wife is skinny as a rail and can eat anything.......sometimes i think she is trying to kill me off.....
That will eventually change! My husband always use to say he was the model for the stick man. But now he is at the gym every day trying to keep the pounds off. He still loses way faster than I do! He even eats Klondikes every night. I can't do that.
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That's definitely a good reason to temporarily suspend her conjugal rights. Until she's on board with supporting the esthetic improvement of your thighs and rear end.
Are you kidding? There is never a good reason to suspend conjugal visits! If she puts the brownies on her stomach and says eat and have fun my diet is doomed!0 -
I'll be the combo breaker and say she should be more supportive of your healthier lifestyle. Texting pics of fresh baked cheesecake at 350 cals a slice doesn't help anyone achieve their goals. As long as she's doing it out of love and not some passive aggressive taunting, I'd personally just have to turn it down. Some have said, so what eat it in moderation. Well... cheesecake in moderation is easier said than done. Especially because it's so energy dense. If you're like me and cake is a trigger food, you really don't even want it in your house... let alone getting teased by it. Haha right now I'm pretty good on willpower so I'd be excited she baked it and very thankful, but it would hardly get touched by me no matter how much time went into it. My health goals come before my spouse preferring me fatter. Learn to cook lower calories versions...haha. 0
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rmitchell239 wrote: »My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
I'm sorry but I couldn't really tell if you were being tongue-in-cheek lol.
I had a similar issue with my hubby flying things like oreos, twix and cookies around making aeroplane sounds and its hard to not open your mouth to take a bite when he makes it so irresistible and irresistibly adorable. Then the gravity of my crime hits and I break down into tears of self-hate and lamentation. I even contemplate flagellation Illuminati-style.
Oh or trying to zen away my craving for things like fudgey mud cake brownies swirled with nutella or peanut butter and pancake stacks laden with chocolate chips and maple syrup and he suggests going to our local Pancake Parlour for a triple stack (I tend to hear triple by-pass). RAWR.
But on a serious note if its really getting to you, its time for a talk. If not, maybe just go along with the ride and text her a picture of food in the 60s and 70s. That's bound to make you drop 3kg almost instantaneously.
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rmitchell239 wrote: »
Crom!! Why did you mention Conan? Now I feel bad because this was my rest day. They probably only grumble because you're making them feel guilty
Yep! I even stuck a picture of Conan up in my work pod with "crush your enemies, see then driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women" written underneath! 0 -
rmitchell239 wrote: »My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
You are not wrong to expect support from your significant other. I mean love/support is kind of a bare minimum in marriage to me. But, when you make jokes, people think you're joking. Trying talking to her about it with a straight face?
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camilacreme wrote: »LOL this has been a fun thread to read. Many similarities with others one here. My husband is also a eat-whatever-and-still-stay-slim kind of guy who buys me frikkin boxes of Ferrero chocolate as presents (I call it sabotage!). He also seems to think that everyone has the same metabolism as him and as long as you work out every.single.day like he does you can eat whatever you like. It annoys me. People at work also pass around lollies and chocolates and stuff and I have to keep declining and they look at me like I'm being rude but I have managed to tell them all that I am on a mission to look like Conan so leave me the f* alone and let me eat my way. They now still occasionally grumble but accept my rejections more readily.
I used to think this about my partner too, but a few times I have secretly logged what he has eaten over a day and realised that on all days he has actually eaten less than 2500 calories... so it's no surprise that he hasn't put on a pound in about 15 years....! Plus he has an active job, never sits still and if he's full, will leave meals, sometimes "forgets" to have lunch, etc. So although he may think he can eat what he wants and stay slim, it's actually because he doesn't go over 2500 that he is slim. Was very interesting when I finally realised that.0 -
camilacreme wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »
Crom!! Why did you mention Conan? Now I feel bad because this was my rest day. They probably only grumble because you're making them feel guilty
Yep! I even stuck a picture of Conan up in my work pod with "crush your enemies, see then driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women" written underneath!
HA! I trained my kids to say this when asked "What is best in life"
Watching a 3 year old girl say this is pretty epic.0 -
camilacreme wrote: »rmitchell239 wrote: »
Crom!! Why did you mention Conan? Now I feel bad because this was my rest day. They probably only grumble because you're making them feel guilty
Yep! I even stuck a picture of Conan up in my work pod with "crush your enemies, see then driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women" written underneath!
This is hilarious especially from a woman! Its good to have goals though, its a great idea to have a picture up that you can see everyday.0 -
rmitchell239 wrote: »Is she shoving them down your throat? No.
So she made some goodies. You're not obligated to eat them.
Alternatively, you can just eat them and fit them into your calorie goal. There's nothing wrong with brownies and cheesecake.
Also, can I move in? Your wife sounds like my kind of person. I want random texts of baked goodies on my phone too.
This was great! Brownie required a run
a piece of cheese cake is probably 3 miles.
So basically your wife is helping you get fitter by making you run more and fuelling your runs as well?
What a nice lady!0 -
Pack up all the brownies she made and take them to work for your co-workers to eat.0
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I know what you mean. My husband prepares amazing breakfasts for him and our son. Every morning he asks me if I would like some of his yummy food. The first week of dieting is very difficult, but I feel that it gets better as soon you know the benefit of a well balanced diet. Learn to say no and be consistent with your diet is the key. Good luck!0
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My husband is not on the same journey as I am, he's just not ready. He has the tastebuds of a 6 year old, so I basically cook two separate meals. It's mine to own, my success, my failure. I can't eat his food and live my truth.0
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My Wife will go a very long time without baking or even cooking. I get 20 or 30 lbs off she will start baking cookies they are huge and they are great. I was using one of who cookies as a meal replacement thinking I could still lose weight. WRONG!!! I didn't lose weight and they definitely were a gate way drug of going off my diet. She has done this to me 4 times. I think my will power is stronger this time and if she try this again we are going to have a big argument...I am coming down from my highest weight of 414 and I am down to 393 after a month. I don't need to be smelling fresh baked cookies....0
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My ex husband sabotaged mine on purpose, he didnt want me to become attractive and leave him. Maybe your wife has a similar insecurity0
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