My spouse is sabotaging my diet!

hotnumber

Lmao, sorry about your thighs..

_lyndseybrooke_

Now I'm sabotaging your diet. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Also, I just spent 10 minutes looking at pictures of cheesecake. Mmm, cheesecake.

LifeInTheBikeLane

I'm the calorie counting nut in my household. My marine-significant other has always been well built but he also loses weight like a champ. I tend to feed him the foods I wish I could eat myself (I bake all sorts of stuff and pack him huge lunches). I didn't realize I was causing him to gain weight. Instead of telling his friends I was sabotaging him, he sat me down the other day and I asked that I start making him foods more similar to mine because he had gained back pounds that he had previously lost. He explained that, as much as he LOVES my food, he needs it in less portions. Try that.

urloved33

that bites!

senecarr

Have you contacted the Beastie Boys? I think they have expertise in this area.

FaylinaMeir

@LyndseyLovesToLift oh my that first one looks amazing!

Chezzie84

My fiance is very supportive (even if he doesn't see why I should lose weight, he respects that I want to), all temptations are kept in his work van and he finds out how many calories I have left and checks the wrappers offering me anything.
My co-workers and I run on a system that if I want it I will ask: that goes for the cakes brought in on birthdays to the weekly KFC.
99% of people in my life are supportive.

However my nan is a feeder, in the beginning when I was trying to stop my "see food" and "living to eat" diet, she was always trying to get me to eat things that I really didn't want to eat because "one will not hurt", she once ordered a dessert at a restaurant on my behalf because she thought I should have one even though I said I was full (my other half was ecstatic because he got two lol).
After a long time of standing my gtround, she eventually stopped asking. Now I have the opposite problem. She tuts, raises her eyes and mocks me about a failed diet because I have a custard cream.

You just need to do your own thing. Eat the brownies and the cheesecakes, but only if you want to. Not because somebody else wants you to.

alfiedn

It sounds like you're joking around a bit about this. If it seriously bothers you, you may have to have a more serious tone to your conversation.

She sounds super awesome, though!

LeslieB042812

Ugh, my husband does this sort of thing.....What's worse, he'll even refuse to eat unless I do too (and the same thing in the same amount). I've tried explaining that a 6' man cannot eat the same as a 5'2" woman (or vice versa), but he refuses to listen. He also moans when he catches me weighing and logging my foods (I have to sneak around). I think he does it because he likes sharing food as much as eating it and also he doesn't want me to lose weight (he's just like your wife--likes me fatter, but losing the boobs is his fear! lol). It's really frustrating, though. I totally feel your pain.

I don't really have a solution (and talking about it really hasn't helped), just that some days I do better than others. And, if I know he's wanting to eat out or cook me something, I plan ahead by minimally eating the rest of the day (like a packet of tuna and some lettuce for lunch). That helps me fit in the "shares". I also try to take over the cooking and dishing of food so that I can sneak in weighing everything and sneak him larger (size appropriate) portions by piling them differently. I get called "controlling" but it's worth it! lol

RaeBeeBaby

Could be all kinds of things going on. A little insecurity that if you lose weight you'll be more attractive to other women, validation that she's still a good wife by baking you goodies that you love, more focus on her, less on you, etc. I'm guilty of baking goodies for my thin husband and not eating them myself. Kind of a vicarious indulgence, I suppose. At least someone gets to enjoy them.

I used to have the co-worker thing, too. Someone always bringing in snacks and goodies then acting hurt if you don't take any. That's sabotage, in my opinion. Sometimes I'd take something back to my desk, wrap it up and take it home to thin hubby just to avoid the hurt feelings.

Barry0611

My wife is not much of a cook but is an excellent baker. She has been evolving from cookies to brownies to cakes and now is making these killer cheesecake brownies. I understand temptation. Here my the solution. Have a small piece and enjoy it. There is nothing wrong with a treat from time to time.

rmitchell239

ercarroll311 wrote: »

rmitchell239 wrote: »

My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...

Does she struggle with weight and just hasn't found the motivation yet, or is she happy with her own weight? It could, and most likely is, innocent, but it could also be her not wanting you to start looking better than her, if that makes sense.

But I agree with those who have said that you just have to handle it. There will be temptation everywhere, forever. It sucks that it's in your own home and in your texts, but it's also on your drive home from work or a friend's party, etc. In times like that I ask myself if I can stay strong for one day. Just today, can I stick to my goals. That makes avoiding these things forever seem much less daunting.

And you could fit it in for the day, maybe just half a brownie or a sliver of cake if you're that strong (I'm not).

It takes a stronger man than I to resist brownies straight out of the oven. I took your advice last night, I had 1/2 of one.

rmitchell239

LeslieB042812 wrote: »

Ugh, my husband does this sort of thing.....What's worse, he'll even refuse to eat unless I do too (and the same thing in the same amount). I've tried explaining that a 6' man cannot eat the same as a 5'2" woman (or vice versa), but he refuses to listen. He also moans when he catches me weighing and logging my foods (I have to sneak around). I think he does it because he likes sharing food as much as eating it and also he doesn't want me to lose weight (he's just like your wife--likes me fatter, but losing the boobs is his fear! lol). It's really frustrating, though. I totally feel your pain.

I don't really have a solution (and talking about it really hasn't helped), just that some days I do better than others. And, if I know he's wanting to eat out or cook me something, I plan ahead by minimally eating the rest of the day (like a packet of tuna and some lettuce for lunch). That helps me fit in the "shares". I also try to take over the cooking and dishing of food so that I can sneak in weighing everything and sneak him larger (size appropriate) portions by piling them differently. I get called "controlling" but it's worth it! lol

Planning ahead is great advice, thanks!!

rmitchell239

socalkay wrote: »

Alas, the world goes on around us without any consideration for our efforts to lose weight and get healthy. I think eating one half brownie was a brilliant solution but I can also dig that there's the rest of the pan calling your name. While we can't make everybody change for our needs, I think we do have a right to expect some support from family and friends. Try talking to her again (sans whiny voice) about what your goals are... make one of them something like 'so I'm around to love and take care of you for many years to come'. Let her know how it makes you feel when she sends photos of cheesecake. In my opinion, that's not funny, that's subversive.

Good advice, the whiny voice was fun though! This was funny to me. Wife: I looked up the cheese cake it's 350 calories. But a slice of pumpkin pie is only 150. Me: ooooo you made pumpkin pie to!!?? Her: no.

rmitchell239

LyndseyLovesToLift wrote: »

Now I'm sabotaging your diet. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Also, I just spent 10 minutes looking at pictures of cheesecake. Mmm, cheesecake.

Yeah now I'm just hungry. Haha, I skipped the cheesecake and just had some fresh pineapple. You are an evil woman.

rmitchell239

Barry0611 wrote: »

My wife is not much of a cook but is an excellent baker. She has been evolving from cookies to brownies to cakes and now is making these killer cheesecake brownies. I understand temptation. Here my the solution. Have a small piece and enjoy it. There is nothing wrong with a treat from time to time.

Wow a cheesecake brownie sounds like heaven!

faithgirlfl

Did someone say cheesecake ?

PneumaVision

You pass a hundred stores a day filled with junk food. America is paved and plastered and completely constructed of junk food. Just don't eat it. Of course you could go nuclear: "You make the world's lousiest cheesecake. I wouldn't eat it if it was the last morsel of food on this dying planet. " But that's not a good idea, probably. Just ignore the junk food wifey makes and enjoy her great disquisitions on Descartes and the mind-body problem and all that.

KrunchyMama

I understand your pain. My husband can eat whatever he wants, and doesn't gain weight. We currently have 3 bags of chips in the house that I'm trying hard to avoid. On my good days it's easy, but on my bad days, not so much.