Marriage Where Only One Person is Watching Calories

kshama2001

Psychgrrl wrote: »

Maybe you two can take a healthy cooking class together. And start shopping together. Even a couple healthy cookbooks where you two pick recipes and make them together could be fun.

If you haven't fully talked it through, he make take your food makeover not as something for yourself, but because you want to change him, as if you're not happy with his weight.

I love these ideas!

kshama2001

gaelicstorm26 wrote: »

This is a tough issue. My husband is very understanding. We are both educators but he is an assistant principal and works through the summer whereas I'm home with the kids. We split meal planning. We both look at the sales for groceries in our area and I'll pick a few meals and he'll pick a few meals. He isn't one for sauces, gravies, or pasta heavy meals as he and I are both diabetic. That helps us both. I do like my meat seasoned so if we're cooking London broil, for example, he will cut a small piece off for me and I'll season it the way I like and he will cook it accordingly. He doesn't like onions or mushrooms, so sometimes when we grill I'll cut some up and throw it in a foil packet, which he will happily stick on the grill while the meat is cooking. I also have a 5 and 6 year old so I have to keep them in mind too as my 5 year old has sensory issues with food.

Meal planning is complicated but it is worth it. Maybe you can both compromise? You can each pick 3 days of meals. When he picks, put your portion of meat aside to keep it out of the sauce/gravy/whatever. When you cook, just let him add cheese or whatever to his portion. My husband thinks that salt is spicy (ok, a BIT of an exaggeration but not much) so if I want more flavor I have to add it myself. If he wants pasta then I make a salad (I frequently shop on Sundays during the school year and will make a few days worth of salad on Sunday to save time).

I really think you guys can work it out. And of course sometimes we just have to eat things that aren't our favorite or cooked in our favorite way. In our house, I like my roast beef to be done pot roast style where it pulls apart but the hubby likes his a different way, so we alternate.

During the school year my hubby does almost all of the cooking. I'm a lucky gal.

Best of luck!

Ya, I like my steak with chipotle powder and medium rare, he likes his without and medium. It's really simple to spice mine separately and take it off the grill earlier.

I send food home for his mother - yesterday swordfish - mine got more spice and less cooking time. I made swordfish tacos for me and since I thought the tortilla might be difficult for her gave her essentially the same meal, only with rice instead of a tortilla. (And no chipotle.)

http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/recipe/grilled-swordfish-tacos

Need2Exerc1se

I am watching my calories, my husband is not. I cook a healthy dinner and he either eats it or fixes something for himself. I don't like bland food, though. We eat a great variety of tasty meals. He just eats bigger portions than I, which seems normal.

soccerkon26

When I cook, I'll make things lower in calorie...my boyfriend will make it a more satisfying meal by adding more cheese, butter, bread on the side, etc.

If he makes cheeseburgers or wants pizza or ice cream, I exercise more than day so I can eat it or I just eat much less of it than I used to.

I know it can be frustrating but it's so worth it to see them happier. Compromise on both ends!

leggup

We've been married for 3 years, living together for almost 4 years and we almost never eat the same thing for dinner. Sometimes we'll ask each other to make a few more of something for each other like eggrolls. If I'm roasting veggies in the oven I will even create an aluminum foil divider between our foods since mine will be exactly 300 grams and his won't. For skillet meals, he'll often wait until I'm done using the skillet and cook meat in the leftover oil/veggie bits. I'm calorie counting and a vegetarian. He eyeballs and eat all of the meat. We've never had an argument over food, other than the initial, "no, don't eat food off my plate because I've already weighed it."

rhyolite_

I guess I just don't see the need for either one of you to compromise or meet in the middle. I, alone, decide what goes into my body. If my husband wants to cook, I can either make it fit or make something for myself. As others have mentioned, "making it fit" often means getting very little to eat. I don't like to do that. I would rather have a very large salad or a large plate of vegetables than a much smaller portion of spaghetti. That's not because I demonize pasta/carbs/high calorie foods. I personally just don't want to use such a high portion of my daily allotment on such a small meal. It isn't worth it to me. If my husband ever told me to compromise and eat his food, despite the fact that I would be unhappy with my food choices, we would have a problem. The reverse is also true. My husband is a runner and eats at least twice my daily allotment of calories. I could absolutely never tell him to eat my food the way I make it without adding anything extra. That would not be okay. His body, his choices.

Most of the time, we make our own food separately. My husband is a better cook than me, though, so more often, he makes a dinner of lean meats and veggies for everyone. Then he either adds to the meal for himself, or eats a snack later.

shawnamay590

I can definitely sympathize. I started on a low carb diet about a year ago, and my husband would not join me. It was really difficult at first because we were making up to three different meals to suit everyone in the house. It got to be overwhelming, so I had to confront my husband about it. I have lost 50 pounds so far and don't intend to go back to my old eating habits as a norm. I started looking at low carb meals that he would enjoy (white chicken chili, chili with sun dried tomato cream sauce, pork chops, etc), then would find low carb subs for meals that he likes. For example, I pick a low sugar marinara sauce and make spaghetti squash when he wants spaghetti. He can have pasta and I have the squash. Or, when we have taco night, I just make a taco salad. Pizza night got tricky, but I found a low carb flax seed crust recipe that help up really nicely to sauce and toppings. I also found an almond meal pancake recipe for our big breakfast days. Those freeze really well and can be popped in the toaster.

2snakeswoman

Since you work full time, and he is an adult, I say he can fend for himself if he doesn't like what you're making. I've run into this same sort of problem where my husband said he'd eat whatever I make, then he'd complain, and I told him "you know your way around the kitchen - make whatever you'd like."

If he were working full time and you were doing the homemaker job, that would be different.

hartmamp

I struggled with this for a long time and ended up usually making separate meals. It's just easier that way - he also eats large portions, so it actually saved us from the arguments where I'd go to eat something and he'd already eaten it.

MsJulesRenee

I make my boyfriend a different version of what I eat. For example, if we have chicken I put BBQ sauce on his, put butter in his rice, etc. I make a plain version or whatever fits into my calories that day. I might have to use an extra pan but I think it's worth the dishes to make him happy. If I have extra calories I eat what he does! I'm always out on a hunt for comfort foods that we can both enjoy without blowing my calories away. I buy him little snacks when I go grocery shopping to show that I still think about his comfort - buy him a case of pop, and buy myself a case of soda water. If he really wants pizza I don't get offended if he comes home with it, I just ask that he doesn't buy me a slice, too.

When he wants to make "unhealthy" meals fix it how you want it. If he makes burgers try open face sandwich and steam veggies on the side. You can't tell him how to eat and he can't tell you so...compromise

karyabc

shawnamay590 wrote: »

I can definitely sympathize. I started on a low carb diet about a year ago, and my husband would not join me. It was really difficult at first because we were making up to three different meals to suit everyone in the house. It got to be overwhelming, so I had to confront my husband about it. I have lost 50 pounds so far and don't intend to go back to my old eating habits as a norm. I started looking at low carb meals that he would enjoy (white chicken chili, chili with sun dried tomato cream sauce, pork chops, etc), then would find low carb subs for meals that he likes. For example, I pick a low sugar marinara sauce and make spaghetti squash when he wants spaghetti. He can have pasta and I have the squash. Or, when we have taco night, I just make a taco salad. Pizza night got tricky, but I found a low carb flax seed crust recipe that help up really nicely to sauce and toppings. I also found an almond meal pancake recipe for our big breakfast days. Those freeze really well and can be popped in the toaster.

Hi! Can you give me the recipe for the almond meal pancakes? **thanks

218Beth

My husband is gluten and dairy free. Meals can be interesting at our house. We're been working to try to blend more of his foods into the foods the kids and I eat. Some days are easier than others though.