True Confessions - Don't Judge
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kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »I think complaining about being called handsome is ridiculous. If you are basing how you feel about yourself compared to the drivel that gets spouted on mfp, please put down your phone and start to live in reality. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. To be offended when someone says a kindness such as "you are handsome" is some kind of nerve.
So judgement then?4 -
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cabronlobos wrote: »I'm on board with not being thrilled with being called "handsome". It's different if it's used as an adjective, that's a little better. Handsome is usually the polite way to tell a man he's not hideous....."oh don't listen to them, you're handsome" kind of thing. Definitely the cookie cutter response that a man will feel not meant went into commenting on my looks. Kind of like "yeah, you're pretty" to a woman. No real thought, just a pat on the back. Not a horrible thing, but used so commonly that when I look around and see who's getting called handsome, I'm thinking ok, that's everybody, not really impressed.
It's when someone says to me "hey handsome" that my skin crawls. Might as well just say hey sport.....champ.... big guy......chief......any irrelevant name that someone may dole out that has a somewhat condescending reference to a positive meaning.
There is nothing wrong with being described as handsome, just like being said you are pretty to a woman is not bad either. But me personally, if I were to find a woman attractive, pretty is only used in describing a specific thing, pretty smile, type thing......not just the casual brush over compliment that is reserved for everyone.....;)
Yeah this is what I was getting at in a sense.
Handsome = Toyota Camry of compliments for men.
Gee thanks...I'm a shiny red Toyota Camry. I work out so I must be the one with leather interior at least. Right?.2 -
kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »Carillon_Campanello wrote: »kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »I think complaining about being called handsome is ridiculous. If you are basing how you feel about yourself compared to the drivel that gets spouted on mfp, please put down your phone and start to live in reality. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. To be offended when someone says a kindness such as "you are handsome" is some kind of nerve.
So judgement then?
Welcome to the internet. It was a topic being discussed among many posts. If you'd like to take it personally that is your choice.
Not personally at all. Actually FR sent.0 -
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I confess I've suffered from depression since about the age of 13.
I struggled to find my place in the world, and have always had low self-esteem and low self-worth because of it.
It makes me impulsive and quite critical of the world, and the people in it, but worryingly im more critical of myself.
I dont let people close to me, and those i have let close have hurt me by their actions. Hence i dont open up to just anyone, but can often have superficial 'friends'
(sorry its a bit of a deep one)
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ExileFromTheNorth wrote: »I confess I've suffered from depression since about the age of 13.
I struggled to find my place in the world, and have always had low self-esteem and low self-worth because of it.
It makes me impulsive and quite critical of the world, and the people in it, but worryingly im more critical of myself.
I dont let people close to me, and those i have let close have hurt me by their actions. Hence i dont open up to just anyone, but can often have superficial 'friends'
(sorry its a bit of a deep one)
I can completely relate. I had panic attacks since the age of 13. After I lost my son I spiralled into a state of utter depression. I'm much better now but
I'm still critical of things, low self esteem and don't like anyone getting to close either. Hugs0 -
cabronlobos wrote: »kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »I think complaining about being called handsome is ridiculous. If you are basing how you feel about yourself compared to the drivel that gets spouted on mfp, please put down your phone and start to live in reality. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. To be offended when someone says a kindness such as "you are handsome" is some kind of nerve.
I personally don't let anyone control how I feel about myself whether it be in real life or the internet. I am the only one who controls that. I just think it's generally lazy generic term and does nothing for me. I will amend that with saying, who it comes from makes a difference in how it's perceived to me.
I find lazy people to not be offensive, but more like uninteresting. So I'm never offended by a kind word, but I take it with a grain of salt based on where it comes from.
Pretty much anything said to you on the internet or MFP should be taken with a grain of salt......
I agree with the rest of these ladies. Handsome is a true compliment. We are all telling you all what we mean by it and yet it still isn't good enough. That is a shame, but I suppose women do the same. I bet lots of girls are offended by being called cute.
Noting that I will not call any of you men handsome again, but I probably won't call you anything because now I have to worry as to whether my words will be offensive even though they are meant to be kind. Can't win around this *kitten* place.
***Taking notes***So when someone calls me handsome on the internet...take it with a grain of salt.
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It seems bizarre that good looking men are complaining about being called..handsome. I wonder if less attractive guys would be so upset??
Just thinking out loud..hmmm
@lstrat115 I won't be using that term either ..who knew it was offensive ..
@ExileFromTheNorth ..I love your snark mani
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Kepplekakes wrote: »Cerealsensei wrote: »I confess I don't know what I like being called or even how to respond to compliments. A woman on facebook who I didn't know called me a cute nerd...I guess that's cool, I don't know lol.
The best way to respond to a compliment is to say "thank you".
Well I do that much lol. I guess more so when it happens I just get really caught off guard. And in rare moments when it happens in person I say thanks and just sit there with a big dumb smile on my face.
It doesn't bother me if someone says handsome or whatever adjective they see fit. I take it as an act of kindness.1 -
I confess, buttery balls made me laugh @Gimsteinn1 x2
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BowlingForHollars wrote: »kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »I think complaining about being called handsome is ridiculous. If you are basing how you feel about yourself compared to the drivel that gets spouted on mfp, please put down your phone and start to live in reality. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. To be offended when someone says a kindness such as "you are handsome" is some kind of nerve.
My comment was specifically about the nerve that gets struck in the "cute" vs "hot" thing. I love the compliments I get on here. All of them. I'm talking real world stuff that goes back to the days of hearing the girls you like saying "Oh, TJ, he's so cute (or funny, or sweet, etc.), but so and so...he's SO HOT!!! (with a total change in tone that you all know what I'm talking about). That's why I was agreeing with the original statement, more so on the cute part.
Also, region plays a lot into it as well. People say and mean different things depending on where they're from. So someones handsome in Michigan may mean, meh, it could mean I wanna rip your clothes off somewhere else. That's a factor too.
So...you can compliment me all you want! I'll take whatever I can get at this point.
@BowlingForHollars you make my lady parts tingle...I hope there is no doubt that I think you are super sexy hot and hand.....errrmmm good looking
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@Carillon_Campanello I see your point about a certain word that was used by someone who hurt you deeply can make you cringe. I hope you don't take offense or let that ruin what could be a wonderful compliment, especially if it comes from a complete stranger.4
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »It seems bizarre that good looking men are complaining about being called..handsome. I wonder if less attractive guys would be so upset??
Just thinking out loud..hmmm
@lstrat115 I won't be using that term either ..who knew it was offensive ..
@ExileFromTheNorth ..I love your snark mani
Hell, I am afraid to use any term now! Maybe everyone wants to be 'hot'? I don't think everyone is hot. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't want them in various ways....
If you don't require validation on the internet what the hell are you afraid of using words for? Jesus make up your mind.0 -
I confess I like when people call me handsome.
Edit to add: I also like it when people give me compliments.4 -
I confess that I would like the men who dislike the word 'handsome' to Google image search 'handsome'.
You may change your opinions because holy hell I would take any of those men that showed up (minus Tom Cruise) and do filthy things with them.
There's enough we can share. LOL Holy *kitten*!!0 -
I confess some of these men b itch more then women...gheeze...get over yourselves. Okay you're NOT handsome when you're complaining about a compliment. Really?? smh
ps. I didn't read everyone's comment but those I've read made me cringe a little.6 -
I confess that I would like the men who dislike the word 'handsome' to Google image search 'handsome'.
You may change your opinions because holy hell I would take any of those men that showed up (minus Tom Cruise) and do filthy things with them.
I confess I don't like seeing Tom Cruise in the new Mummy movie that's coming out.0 -
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RegaliTea_69 wrote: »abitoftrouble wrote: »I confess that I would like the men who dislike the word 'handsome' to Google image search 'handsome'.
You may change your opinions because holy hell I would take any of those men that showed up (minus Tom Cruise) and do filthy things with them.
Try googling why men don't like to be called handsome then image search. Interesting
Internet forever.
Haterz will say it is photoshopped. 3 -
I confess some of these men b itch more then women...gheeze...get over yourselves. Okay you're NOT handsome when you're complaining about a compliment. Really?? smh
ps. I didn't read everyone's comment but those I've read made me cringe a little.
Wow that's a lot of judgement from an OP who named the thread lest you forget "True Confessions Don't Judge".2 -
RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
Haha. I love that you think I'd go to all that effort.Carillon_Campanello wrote: »RegaliTea_69 wrote: »abitoftrouble wrote: »I confess that I would like the men who dislike the word 'handsome' to Google image search 'handsome'.
You may change your opinions because holy hell I would take any of those men that showed up (minus Tom Cruise) and do filthy things with them.
Try googling why men don't like to be called handsome then image search. Interesting
Internet forever.
Haterz will say it is photoshopped.
Nope not at all. I saw it too.1
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