How to approach a girl at the gym?
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shrinkingletters wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
Would you get pissed if someone interrupted your rest time to ask you for help with their form? or a spot?
We're not talking about that though, are we? We're talking about the OP's desire to ask a girl out.
He didn't ask that either. He asked about approaching her. Making the first step and seeing what happens.0 -
branflakes1980 wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »
See now, I thought that was flipping hilarious!! Different strokes I guess. LOL!!
That is true. And one of the great things about us human beings is, we can see and appreciate differences in a respectful way.
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BasicGreatGuy wrote: »
I thought it was funny...0 -
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BasicGreatGuy wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »
You are right, I can't think of any situation where I would be upset for someone being friendly to me...
When we are talking about strangers with unknown backgrounds in a public setting that is for working out and not match making, I think it best to respect the idea, that not everyone is open and forthright as you and many others are in the same or similar setting, especially where ladies are involved.
See what you are talking about is politeness and common courtesy. This is something that should be practiced by mature adults in all situations and settings. There is nothing special about a gym (or the sex/gender of a person as you also suggested) that makes it "off limits" from engaging in friendly conversation.0 -
sunn_lighter wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You try dealing with leering icky sweaty muscle heads trying to get in between your reps then giving you some creeper compliment and asking if you need a spotter. Leave her the f^ck alive until she's done with her workout. Is all I'm saying.
That's kinda obvious. I didn't figure while she was resting would be a big issue either though...so....whatever. Different strokes I guess.0 -
BasicGreatGuy wrote: »
I thought it was funny...
I don't see jokes about forcibly abducting a woman as funny, especially in light of the subject at hand. That kind of stuff happens all the time.
But, as Bran said, we see things differently sometimes. Not unexpected.0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
Would you get pissed if someone interrupted your rest time to ask you for help with their form? or a spot?
We're not talking about that though, are we? We're talking about the OP's desire to ask a girl out.
He didn't ask that either. He asked about approaching her. Making the first step and seeing what happens.
He asked about approaching her in a potentially non-platonic way. You're being argumentative for....why??? We all have already agreed that you're perfectly welcome to your warm and open demeanor towards perfect strangers approaching you in the gym. The general consensus from the women here (and some men) is that it's not exactly the ideal moment, that's worth respecting, all the same.0 -
I bet OP is even more conflicted about this situation now than before he made the post lol0
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BasicGreatGuy wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »
I thought it was funny...
I don't see jokes about forcibly abducting a woman as funny, especially in light of the subject at hand. That kind of stuff happens all the time.
But, as Bran said, we see things differently sometimes. No unexpected.
Understood, I can see the fun in just about all jokes cause I'm a
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jensquish1 wrote: »I bet OP is even more conflicted about this situation now than before he made the post lol
lol!!0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
Would you get pissed if someone interrupted your rest time to ask you for help with their form? or a spot?
We're not talking about that though, are we? We're talking about the OP's desire to ask a girl out.
He didn't ask that either. He asked about approaching her. Making the first step and seeing what happens.
He asked about approaching her in a potentially non-platonic way. You're being argumentative for....why??? We all have already agreed that you're perfectly welcome to your warm and open demeanor towards perfect strangers approaching you in the gym. The general consensus from the women here (and some men) is that it's not exactly the ideal moment, that's worth respecting, all the same.
Right, a "potentially" not platonic way. Again, he is making the first step. I'm not being argumentative. I am discussing an opinion I disagree with. Yay for forums.0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »And honestly, I don't need anyone to feel "sad" because I prefer to be in control of my time and space. If it's so off-putting, be friendly elsewhere, there's obviously people that exist that don't mind.
Thanks for the heads up. Cheers.0 -
Am I the only one who thinks we should all lighten up a bit???0
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shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
I have been out of the game for so long I have no clue however, I guess I just don't understand what is wrong with being friendly in general anymore. It's so bizzare. I have people approach me at the gym and I am never rude. I have actually made friends with some of these guys and they are great people. Would each one of them love it if I wasn't married, absolutely but they are very respectful and genuinely nice people. In the OP's situation, (brace yourself, I'm about to pull out my inner disney princess on ya'll LOL). What if OP and this girl are meant to be, and for fear of being friendly (because apparently its a bad thing to speak to someone in the gym) he never even takes a minute to initiate conversation with her and what was meant to be now will never be, to me that would be devastating. But again, I am the kind of person that finds it fascinating that there are so many people out there with so many things to offer, and different personalities and I get sad to think that I will never be able to meet them all. I think the whole being personable thing is going away in general and that is a damn shame.
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leonsinned wrote: »The original poster just wanted some advice on how to approach the girl and somehow this thread has turned combative. smh...
Welcome to the Internets!
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branflakes1980 wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
I have been out of the game for so long I have no clue however, I guess I just don't understand what is wrong with being friendly in general anymore. It's so bizzare. I have people approach me at the gym and I am never rude. I have actually made friends with some of these guys and they are great people. Would each one of them love it if I wasn't married, absolutely but they are very respectful and genuinely nice people. In the OP's situation, (brace yourself, I'm about to pull out my inner disney princess on ya'll LOL). What if OP and this girl are meant to be, and for fear of being friendly (because apparently its a bad thing to speak to someone in the gym) he never even takes a minute to initiate conversation with her and what was meant to be now will never be, to me that would be devastating. But again, I am the kind of person that finds it fascinating that there are so many people out there with so many things to offer, and different personalities and I get sad to think that I will never be able to meet them all. I think the whole being personable thing is going away in general and that is a damn shame.
agreed. I think people just like to think that every person of the opposite sex wants to date them so they pretend they are just angry at all the mean meat heads. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. What do I know though...I've been out of the game for a long time as well.
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Holy...now to have nightmares about babies trapped in knees!0 -
If someone interrupts my workout to ask me out, I would be pissed!!! Now tape a protein bar and a note to my car for me to come out to.. I will gladly approach you next time! Hahaha
^^^^ This its a win/ win she gets protein after her lift and the choice to call you or not if you leave your number.0 -
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Ok that legit made me laugh. Creepy but hilarious just the same.0
This discussion has been closed.
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