Fat shaming and making fun of fat people

ObtainingBalance

Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?

Nope and frankly the consequences of my actions were the last thing on my mind because here's the thing.....it's a 'camel's back' situation. A person can take nasty comments week in and week out for a long time (in my case it stretched back to school where I was bullied badly for my weight), but everyone has a breaking point and when they reach it they're either going to implode or explode. I exploded and at the time I absolutely, 100% wanted to hurt him as badly as I'd been hurt down the years. I literally had tunnel vision. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me I puked when I got home!

So that's my words of advice to people who do fat shame....have a care because people do have breaking points and you don't know if you're going to be the straw that breaks that fat camel's back.

Of course the other thing is that the guy would never have reported me - how would that conversion have gone? "Hi officer, I want to report being beaten up. Can I describe the attacker? Yes, she was short, fat and middle-aged" Would he wait around for the sound of a police officer snickering to stop?

Personally, I think what you did -- whether he deserved it or not - was physical assault, and the guy should have complained to the police. And whether or not the police would "snicker" at the guy, they still should have charged you with assault and battery. It doesn't matter if you're obese or not, what you did was wrong. Nobody has the right to put their hands, or their feet, on another person's body part in an act of violence.

It sounds like you're still harboring some serious anger regarding how you've been treated. I think your energy and efforts would be better put to use in getting rid of some of that, instead of bragging about how you turned a verbal assault (which is abusive mentally but not physically) into a physical one.

And, if you're a mom, I do hope you haven't shared this story with your kids, who would read that as: "Mom says it's okay to kick a man in a very sensitive area if he verbally assaults me." No, the words HE said did not justify the reaction you gave.

ETA: I have a black belt degree in Tae Kwon Do. While I thankfully have never had to use it, I do like to think that I can really hurt someone if they deserved it. What self defense training taught me is this: verbal abuse does not justify physical abuse. Only when the verbal abuse turns physical does it deserve to be returned in kind. AND, kicking a man in the crotch is the best way to get him even angrier and potentially more violent towards you. If you REALLY want to damage someone, go for the eyes, the throat, the shins and the kneecaps. THOSE are the "sweet spots".

Totally. It's wrong to assault someone like that, even if they teased you.

southerndream24

Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?

Nope and frankly the consequences of my actions were the last thing on my mind because here's the thing.....it's a 'camel's back' situation. A person can take nasty comments week in and week out for a long time (in my case it stretched back to school where I was bullied badly for my weight), but everyone has a breaking point and when they reach it they're either going to implode or explode. I exploded and at the time I absolutely, 100% wanted to hurt him as badly as I'd been hurt down the years. I literally had tunnel vision. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me I puked when I got home!

So that's my words of advice to people who do fat shame....have a care because people do have breaking points and you don't know if you're going to be the straw that breaks that fat camel's back.

Of course the other thing is that the guy would never have reported me - how would that conversion have gone? "Hi officer, I want to report being beaten up. Can I describe the attacker? Yes, she was short, fat and middle-aged" Would he wait around for the sound of a police officer snickering to stop?

Personally, I think what you did -- whether he deserved it or not - was physical assault, and the guy should have complained to the police. And whether or not the police would "snicker" at the guy, they still should have charged you with assault and battery. It doesn't matter if you're obese or not, what you did was wrong. Nobody has the right to put their hands, or their feet, on another person's body part in an act of violence.

It sounds like you're still harboring some serious anger regarding how you've been treated. I think your energy and efforts would be better put to use in getting rid of some of that, instead of bragging about how you turned a verbal assault (which is abusive mentally but not physically) into a physical one.

And, if you're a mom, I do hope you haven't shared this story with your kids, who would read that as: "Mom says it's okay to kick a man in a very sensitive area if he verbally assaults me." No, the words HE said did not justify the reaction you gave.

ETA: I have a black belt degree in Tae Kwon Do. While I thankfully have never had to use it, I do like to think that I can really hurt someone if they deserved it. What self defense training taught me is this: verbal abuse does not justify physical abuse. Only when the verbal abuse turns physical does it deserve to be returned in kind. AND, kicking a man in the crotch is the best way to get him even angrier and potentially more violent towards you. If you REALLY want to damage someone, go for the eyes, the throat, the shins and the kneecaps. THOSE are the "sweet spots".

Totally. It's wrong to assault someone like that, even if they teased you.

I agree with the above comments. Nasty comments never ever justify violence. People are going to talk about you until the day you die and there's nothing you can do about it. Whether it's you're too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too happy, too smiley, too gorgeous, too ugly. The list goes on and on. It's not what they call you but what YOU answer to. I have never been in an obese state so I can't imagine what you have gone through. I have, however, been mean-girled by a nasty group my freshman year in college. They didn't like how cool I was with the guys they wanted to date and that those guys liked me (this is what I was told by my guy friends) so they spread awful rumors about me being a slut. It hurt and I'd never experienced such nastiness in my life. I didn't lash out, I didn't physically assault anyone. I just dug deeper into my studies and found a new group of positive people to surround myself with and I made myself happy. I'm now more successful than those girls could ever hope to be. That's how I got even.

I've encountered nasty mean girls since, but I let their words and vicious gossip roll off me and go on living my happy life. It's too short to let people who don't matter bother me. Their words have no power on me whatsoever. By putting your hands on someone else you gave them the power to absolutely ruin your life and you're lucky they didn't press charges. Also, I find the fact that you're proud of yourself for assaulting someone disgusting.

MSeel1984

I honestly think that there is such a DISEASE in our culture with the HUGE corporations that market unhealthy things to eat to us, and the constant brainwashing of commercials who make us believe happy healthy people eat fast food and drink tons of soda...

But nobody makes us consume these things...

Don't get me wrong, the food is priced cheaply so lower income populations are more prone to consume it which puts them at an automatic disadvantage to those that can more easily acquire fresh fruit and vegetables...however, food stamps also cover produce and there are ways to buy cheap produce (farm stands, etc), but many people just have a taste for unhealthy food.

Evil corporations or not, nobody makes us consume foods that are bad for us. I see McDonald's ads all the time...the last time I ate at one was over two years ago...and I'd say I consume it less often than every three years...It's a matter of making a choice over one thing versus something else.

That being said, there are people with poor self esteem or other problems that they self-medicate with food. All of us have our own issues, whether it's choosing to work out a whole bunch because we're afraid of getting fat, eating that pack of oreos because we are overweight or finding we don't know how to have a healthy relationship with food because we're afraid of both ends of the spectrum...

I don't think fat-shaming is right...I don't think that condoning behaviors that are unhealthy is right either.

All we can do is look at our choices and move forward, making the choice to be healthy isn't always easy...but if you can't accept that there is a problem that needs to be fixed, nothing will change.

Cherry_T

I think it`s all in the eye of the beholder. You could use it as fuel to lose weight or let it destroy you. Your call. They aren`t gonna change their ways, afterall.