Fat shaming and making fun of fat people

Options
15791011

Replies

  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    Options
    People can say whatever they want to me. Then they can expect me to say whatever I want back at them. Or end them. Depends on my mood.
  • MsPudding
    MsPudding Posts: 562 Member
    Options
    Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?


    Nope and frankly the consequences of my actions were the last thing on my mind because here's the thing.....it's a 'camel's back' situation. A person can take nasty comments week in and week out for a long time (in my case it stretched back to school where I was bullied badly for my weight), but everyone has a breaking point and when they reach it they're either going to implode or explode. I exploded and at the time I absolutely, 100% wanted to hurt him as badly as I'd been hurt down the years. I literally had tunnel vision. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me I puked when I got home!

    So that's my words of advice to people who do fat shame....have a care because people do have breaking points and you don't know if you're going to be the straw that breaks that fat camel's back.

    Of course the other thing is that the guy would never have reported me - how would that conversion have gone? "Hi officer, I want to report being beaten up. Can I describe the attacker? Yes, she was short, fat and middle-aged" Would he wait around for the sound of a police officer snickering to stop?
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Options

    Nope and frankly the consequences of my actions were the last thing on my mind because here's the thing.....it's a 'camel's back' situation. A person can take nasty comments week in and week out for a long time (in my case it stretched back to school where I was bullied badly for my weight), but everyone has a breaking point and when they reach it they're either going to implode or explode. I exploded and at the time I absolutely, 100% wanted to hurt him as badly as I'd been hurt down the years. I literally had tunnel vision. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me I puked when I got home!

    So that's my words of advice to people who do fat shame....have a care because people do have breaking points and you don't know if you're going to be the straw that breaks that fat camel's back.

    Of course the other thing is that the guy would never have reported me - how would that conversion have gone? "Hi officer, I want to report being beaten up. Can I describe the attacker? Yes, she was short, fat and middle-aged" Would he wait around for the sound of a police officer snickering to stop?

    How would this read if a man posted it about a girlfriend who complained about his beer gut?
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Options
    :'(

    I'm just angry that people make fun of each other based on weight, race, religion, age etc. Not based on their personality. It makes me sad and angry.

    Just so I understand...

    ...when I meet someone with a crappy personality, then it's okay to make fun of them...

    ...right?

    That's how I read it.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    Options
    Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?


    Nope and frankly the consequences of my actions were the last thing on my mind because here's the thing.....it's a 'camel's back' situation. A person can take nasty comments week in and week out for a long time (in my case it stretched back to school where I was bullied badly for my weight), but everyone has a breaking point and when they reach it they're either going to implode or explode. I exploded and at the time I absolutely, 100% wanted to hurt him as badly as I'd been hurt down the years. I literally had tunnel vision. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me I puked when I got home!

    So that's my words of advice to people who do fat shame....have a care because people do have breaking points and you don't know if you're going to be the straw that breaks that fat camel's back.

    Of course the other thing is that the guy would never have reported me - how would that conversion have gone? "Hi officer, I want to report being beaten up. Can I describe the attacker? Yes, she was short, fat and middle-aged" Would he wait around for the sound of a police officer snickering to stop?

    Personally, I think what you did -- whether he deserved it or not - was physical assault, and the guy should have complained to the police. And whether or not the police would "snicker" at the guy, they still should have charged you with assault and battery. It doesn't matter if you're obese or not, what you did was wrong. Nobody has the right to put their hands, or their feet, on another person's body part in an act of violence.

    It sounds like you're still harboring some serious anger regarding how you've been treated. I think your energy and efforts would be better put to use in getting rid of some of that, instead of bragging about how you turned a verbal assault (which is abusive mentally but not physically) into a physical one.

    And, if you're a mom, I do hope you haven't shared this story with your kids, who would read that as: "Mom says it's okay to kick a man in a very sensitive area if he verbally assaults me." No, the words HE said did not justify the reaction you gave.

    ETA: I have a black belt degree in Tae Kwon Do. While I thankfully have never had to use it, I do like to think that I can really hurt someone if they deserved it. What self defense training taught me is this: verbal abuse does not justify physical abuse. Only when the verbal abuse turns physical does it deserve to be returned in kind. AND, kicking a man in the crotch is the best way to get him even angrier and potentially more violent towards you. If you REALLY want to damage someone, go for the eyes, the throat, the shins and the kneecaps. THOSE are the "sweet spots". :)
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    Options
    :'(

    I'm just angry that people make fun of each other based on weight, race, religion, age etc. Not based on their personality. It makes me sad and angry.

    Just so I understand...

    ...when I meet someone with a crappy personality, then it's okay to make fun of them...

    ...right?


    My thoughts exactly. :noway:
  • Shannonpurple
    Shannonpurple Posts: 268 Member
    Options
    whine..whine..whine..whine...That is all he did in that video. I woudln't want to hang out with this guy either...

    1. You had a lousy/*kitten* friend..."we've all had one, or twenty"
    2. People can be hurtful, angry, and jerks..but they are not responsible for your actions ( When I get depressed, if I try to fix that depression with wine and chocolate or a brutal workout the choice is mine) I've been to both extremes in my life 106lbs vs almost 160. My new mentaility is a little of both.
    3. To me being fat is like being a smoker, you know its bad for you. Its your health and your body so do what you want, but do not expect me to understand or support that behavior.
    4. Also do not complain about it...if you are not going to to try and fix it. If you are trying to fix it then Great! I'll take walks with you and order a salad when i really want a cheesburger...but this video was a just a lot of bull in my personal opinon.

    3. To me being fat is like being a smoker, you know its bad for you. Its your health and your body so do what you want, but do not expect me to understand or support that behavior.


    I Shame smokers too because they stink and it is effecting in what they are doing! Fat people are effecting me if they are too fat to work and live off my tax dollars or get free health care making my Premium go up.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Options
    Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?


    Nope and frankly the consequences of my actions were the last thing on my mind because here's the thing.....it's a 'camel's back' situation. A person can take nasty comments week in and week out for a long time (in my case it stretched back to school where I was bullied badly for my weight), but everyone has a breaking point and when they reach it they're either going to implode or explode. I exploded and at the time I absolutely, 100% wanted to hurt him as badly as I'd been hurt down the years. I literally had tunnel vision. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me I puked when I got home!

    So that's my words of advice to people who do fat shame....have a care because people do have breaking points and you don't know if you're going to be the straw that breaks that fat camel's back.

    Of course the other thing is that the guy would never have reported me - how would that conversion have gone? "Hi officer, I want to report being beaten up. Can I describe the attacker? Yes, she was short, fat and middle-aged" Would he wait around for the sound of a police officer snickering to stop?

    You seriously want people to commiserate with you for being violent because you are also overweight? You belong in jail. Police officers don't usually snicker at violent behavior and they have to deal with fat, skinny, women, and men who behave badly, drink too much, resist arrest, etc. Not everyone walks away from this type of thing. The next time you act like this you could find yourself facing someone just as crazy as yourself and end up crippled for life, or worse, dead.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
    Options
    I couldn't watch it all the way through.

    Maybe he should turn off his computer and go for a walk.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Options
    Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?


    Nope and frankly the consequences of my actions were the last thing on my mind because here's the thing.....it's a 'camel's back' situation. A person can take nasty comments week in and week out for a long time (in my case it stretched back to school where I was bullied badly for my weight), but everyone has a breaking point and when they reach it they're either going to implode or explode. I exploded and at the time I absolutely, 100% wanted to hurt him as badly as I'd been hurt down the years. I literally had tunnel vision. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me I puked when I got home!

    So that's my words of advice to people who do fat shame....have a care because people do have breaking points and you don't know if you're going to be the straw that breaks that fat camel's back.

    Of course the other thing is that the guy would never have reported me - how would that conversion have gone? "Hi officer, I want to report being beaten up. Can I describe the attacker? Yes, she was short, fat and middle-aged" Would he wait around for the sound of a police officer snickering to stop?

    You seriously want people to commiserate with you for being violent because you are also overweight? You belong in jail. Police officers don't usually snicker at violent behavior and they have to deal with fat, skinny, women, and men who behave badly, drink too much, resist arrest, etc. Not everyone walks away from this type of thing. The next time you act like this you could find yourself facing someone just as crazy as yourself and end up crippled for life, or worse, dead.

    Valid points.

    And if we had *true* equality between genders, she would rightfully have been prosecuted for this assault.
  • avasano
    avasano Posts: 487 Member
    Options
    REally?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSNK-9v7_JI&sns=tw
    She's not bothered, though
  • KatrinaWilke
    KatrinaWilke Posts: 372 Member
    Options
    Thank you! I am shocked -- shocked -- that there are not more responses like this on this board, especially when I see all the tickers many people here have showing that have lost 75 pounds or more. People just LOVE hating on the fatties, including other fatties, I guess, and for them weight loss is just an excuse to join in the bullying.

    Bottom line: Someone else's weight is nobody's business but their own. No one gets to say "He SHOULD lose weight and he doesn't, therefore LET'S GET HIM!" It's. Not. Cool.

    I don't care if the particular guy in this particular video sounded whiny. IT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LEGITIMATELY HAVE PROBLEMS, it just makes him whiny about his problems. Will losing weight help him avoid the fat shaming? Maybe! You know what else would help? If people stopped being ****ing bullying asshats, or even if society at large stopped giving a pass to bullying asshats just because their targets are fat.

    Okay, something that is happening here is a failure to communicate properly. Many of the folks saying that are saying he's whining instead of doing something about it are NOT shaming him. You may interpret is as such, but that is not what is happening. They're stating that in order to actually lose the weight he wants to lose he needs to break out of his shell and put in the work. Motivation is the first hurdle to getting it done. He hasn't taken that step yet. He needs to get motivated enough within himself to do something about it. They're not ridiculing him because he's fat.

    Let me tell you something I see from pretty much every fit guy or gal around.

    THE MOST INSPIRING thing for a fit person to see is a fat guy in his second week at the gym, still busting his backside, sweating like a stuck pig to try and get fit. It makes the gym alpha in the corner get teary eyed with how much potential this heavy ball of clay has in front of him. They want to see him or her keep coming and succeeding, day in and day out. It makes them pump harder themselves. It makes them double down on their routines, just to get the sweat going again. They don't want to see the fat guy fail or never try. They want to see the fat guy burn his way out of his gelatinous cocoon and turn into a heavy metal, fire breathing, iron plated butterfly with latissimus wings that make his feet lift the ground when he flexes.

    TL;DR: Fit people see fat people as potential future badarses, not fat tubs of crap. At least that's my experience.

    Yes! There is one women in particular at my gym who motivates me.....and she doesn't even know. She is there every day sweating and busting *kitten*. I can see her body changing and it is very inspiring!!!

    Maybe you should tell her.

    I love this!
    Stop playing the victim and start being your own hero.

    Also, I'd like to high five MsPudding, and IN for SoVi's legs. :bigsmile:

    I was thinking about it! But after reading the one comment about "inspiration porn" I feel bad......:cry: I don't want her to think she is my "inspiration porn". Personally I don't like porn...I like doing it myself.:sad:
  • ilovedeadlifts
    ilovedeadlifts Posts: 2,923 Member
    Options
    It's not cool to make fun of fat people.
    But honestly, there is a huge difference between being a little overweight and people being complete slobs and getting up to 500+ pounds. He should get off youtube and go do something productive.
  • KatrinaWilke
    KatrinaWilke Posts: 372 Member
    Options
    They don't want to see the fat guy fail or never try. They want to see the fat guy burn his way out of his gelatinous cocoon and turn into a heavy metal, fire breathing, iron plated butterfly with latissimus wings that make his feet lift the ground when he flexes.

    Enlighten me. Saying that I totally missed the point doesn't help me understand what she said. What am I missing? She said the most inspiring thing for a fit person to see is a fat person in the gym giving it their all. Breaking out of their fat cocoon and becoming a fit butterfly. What did I miss?

    OMG I just realized my ticker is a butterfly. Will I be a fit butterfly?

    Love,
    You already are a beautiful butterfly. It's already inside you. I can see it in the way you put your hands on your hips, basically telling the world that you're going to do it, and do it good. You're a success story of your own making, in the making.

    Maybe if I give you my current story you'll understand a little butter. Right now, I'm a fat tub of goo. But I'm not going to be that way forever. If you don't believe me, here are my progress pics from yesterday: http://imgur.com/a/rnvye

    It embarasses the hell out of me to look at myself as I am and compare it to anyone else. I am ashamed of how I look. You know who else is ashamed of the way I look? No-flippin-body. The only person judging me is myself. I have made a conscious effort to stop feeling sorry for myself, or making excuses, or putting it off and am sucking it up and kicking my own backside. I need this for me.

    So, yeah, my gym story...

    A few months ago I started lifting. From day one most of the "super fits" in the gym gave me that look. The one that you and I probably interpret as "oh great, another tub of lard come to breathe our air and occupy our weights". But that wasn't what that look is at all. It's the same look I've started to give other people now. It's that look of, "Okay, day one. I'm going to remember this guy. I hope I see him in here again. I know where he's at and where he could be going. I want to see the magic happen, because that's what it is: magic. But I don't want to be let down again and see another guy burn out. I wish I could just pick him up and help him fly, but the only person who can do that is himself." What you're seeing day one is a combination of hopefulness and sorrow for those that didn't keep going. You're seeing the hope that you can make it, mixed with the fear you will not. And yes, they are judging you, just like you're judging them. But they're not judging you by how fat you are. They're judging you on your desire to knock it out of the park. They're judging you on whether or not you'll be their next gym buddy. They want to help you be the best you can be, but they can't do that if you quit. So they wait and watch with that same expression.

    Now that I've been lifting for a few months the look has changed. It no longer has the pang of pain attached to it. Even though I'm still obese. Even though I'm still in the cocoon they know I'm struggling to get out, clawing my way out, inch by inch, pound by pound. That look is now one of recognition and respect. They look over and see me struggle to press a pair of 75lb dumbbells and are like "Is he gonna do it? Is he gonna pull this off?" The other day one of the trainers saw me struggling on dumbbell overhead press and couldn't stop himself. He walked over and put his hands on my elbows to help me through the lift, shouting encouragement "Good form man! Kicking *kitten*! One more! You got this!" and it just broke me down. And now I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, remembering it and realizing what was happening.

    They want you to succeed for you. They don't want you to fall into their cookie cutter mold of what fitness is. They want you to become your own butterfly, not theirs. They want you to break out of your fears and embarrassment. They want you to start kicking *kitten* for yourself, not them. That's the real magic.

    I hope that helps explain things a little better. Most fit people aren't trying to shame you. Yes, there are d-bags out there, but they're few and far between. Yes, I know those are the ones you remember. They're the ones I remember. I'd like nothing more than to crack their skull open with a kettlebell. They're the same folks who used to pull wings off of insects as a child. But that's not everybody. Most of them want to see you be a butterfly.
    [/quote]

    I love this!! Made ME teary eye!! :happy:
  • KatrinaWilke
    KatrinaWilke Posts: 372 Member
    Options
    What about this? I was always VERY skinny growing up. I mean skinny as in my ribcage stuck out further than my boobs. I didn't gain weight until grad school when I was in my early 20's. But anyways, my sister who was and is morbidly obese always made fun of me for being skinny. She would call me anorexic, stick figure, skeleton, etc. If I ever insulted her back by calling her fat my parents would freak out and I would get in trouble. They said she could make fun of me for being skinny, because being skinny was good and being fat wasn't. So why the double standards?

    Because we live in a society where thin/slender/slim is held up as the ideal and fat is considered totally unacceptable. Thin people are privileged; fat people are discriminated against. I'm very surprised that so many people on this thread are talking as though fat-shaming and "thin-shaming" are equivalent. I don't see that at all. I don't believe total strangers go up to thin people and confront them about their weight, express "concern" for their health, etc. As for what happens on MFP, nobody here is critiquing Miss America's body type to her face.

    I actually have seen this happen. I had a college roommate who was always berating skinny girls. And I have gotten more than a few comments here on MFP "to my face" about my size. I've been fat and I've been thin, and I actually think I get more "concerned" comments now that I'm small.

    In regards to your comment about it being ok to "thin-shame" because thin is the ideal, every time someone says anything about thin being ideal there's a chorus of shouting that "meat is for men, bones are for dogs," "real women have curves," etc. Which is it? Either being thin is the ideal, or it isn't. Even if it is the ideal, I still don't see how that makes it ok to shame women for being the ideal. Do they not deserve healthy self-esteem and the respect of other people just because they are thin?

    Definitely not okay to shame ANYBODY for being ANY size!
  • KatrinaWilke
    KatrinaWilke Posts: 372 Member
    Options

    I stand corrected on the incidents people have reported here, and I'm really sorry that happened to you. I absolutely do not think it's okay! To me, it's nobody's damn business and totally out of line for strangers (and usually, non-strangers) to comment on appearance (I used to get this for being nearsighted, and I still cannot believe total strangers would hold up fingers in my face and ask, "How many?" or suggest I see an eye doctor, as if I had never thought about or done that). My point about privilege has to do with larger societal issues; for example, research shows that thin women earn more money than big women, that people have more positive attitudes toward thin than fat people, etc. I think it's important not to lose sight of the fact that perceptions and treatment of thin people and fat people are, generally speaking, not equivalent. The fact that some people have experienced outrageous harassment about their (thin) size doesn't fundamentally change that. I hope that makes sense.

    That does make more sense. I can't comment about what is "generally" the case, I can only speak to my own experience. I am glad that I misunderstood and that you weren't saying that shaming thin women is ok because they're thin, which is how I read the first comment. I think it's because I took this statement:
    I'm very surprised that so many people on this thread are talking as though fat-shaming and "thin-shaming" are equivalent.

    and read it as "fat shaming is worse than thin-shaming" rather than "fat shaming is more widespread," which I think is what you were saying.

    I think what we can agree on here is that shaming a person's body is not okay. :flowerforyou:

    Yes, thank you for clarifying!
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
    Options
    Well I'm obese and frankly I used to hide away, slink around in the shadows and generally live my life like a bloody great apology for existing. If you're obese you absolutely will have had comments shouted at you at some point. In my case, I'm pretty active for an obese person, I've always had dogs and I've always walked a lot. I use to walk with my eyes glued to the floor hoping nobody would notice my passing...particularly if I was passing youngish blokes who do seem to be the ones who like to comment on a female's relative attractiveness to them.

    Then one day I was out with my Mastiff, and as I was walking towards 2 guys who looked to be in their mid-20s, I heard one say to the other "Look at the size of that dog, it's enormous!" and the other looked at me and snickered "Which one do you mean?" Up to that point in life I would have slunk away, eyes to the ground and felt a bit teary. That day I had a total 'Falling Down' moment, and despite being a 5ft4" middle aged woman, I felled the guy with a full force kick to the crotch (yay for Brashers' walking boots...they're heavy beasts) and a smash round the head with a plastic retractable dog lead for good measure.

    Since the day the worm turned, I rarely get a comment. I've lost a bit of weight since then, but that's not the reason because I'm still obese. The reason is that I walk with my head-up and instead of looking like prey, I'm guessing I'm giving off predator vibes because I feel 100% confident that if anyone thinks they can try to ridicule me they're not coming out of the situation unscathed.

    So yup....though it's not politically correct, I do feel that the first step to losing weight is to feel good about yourself as you are and the first step to doing that is to stop taking shyte from idiots who feel that they have to validate their place in this world by making others feel insignificant and unworthy.



    Are you sure it's a good thing?


    The only time physical assaults are justified in any way is in self defence. From physical attack - NOT to make yourself feel like a big, tough bad@ss when somebody makes a snarky comment. Because you might think that it's big and clever to assault another person - but it doesn't. It makes you the bad guy.



    I've been in situations where I've genuinely actually had to defend myself physically. It doesn't make me feel good about it at all, because it means I've been put in danger by some mindless thug who will probably try and justify their decision as being out of their control. Fortunately, we don't have too many guns over here - but people do get stabbed or beaten to death when they attack others. Usually they're drunken aggressive morons who have brought it upon themselves, by starting the violence in the first place. Like you did. Only you don't even have the excuse of having been drunk at the time.



    If you really do identify so strongly with a character in a movie about a wife beater with mental health issues having a psychotic episode, then perhaps I could direct you to what Prendergast said to Foster; '...But that doesn't give you any special right to do what you did today...'





    ******


    Anyhows, the guy in the video is whining about how awful it all is that nobody likes him. That isn't because he's obese. It's because he isn't enjoyable to be around - and until he realises it's what inside that matters to 95% of the world, he'll never be happy.
  • Tubtui
    Tubtui Posts: 53
    Options
    I've had random people making nasty comments about my weight (calling me Fat Bertha was actually a witty one). For some weird, unfathomable reason, my 6'7'' & 280 lbs brother never has had strangers comment on his weight. At least not to his face.
    I feel privileged that people are more worried about my health than his...
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
    Options
    I have decided to IGNORE the "Fat" comments and focus with her on "health." We are focusing on packing fruits instead of crackers and taking a walk instead of watching TV. I am talking to her about her heart, circulation, lungs, skin and hair cells and how they need the nutrition from good food as opposed to focusing on what's fattening or "bad."

    It's been a few weeks in this mission and the difference is visible. Not only has she slimmed down a little (NOT MY MAIN GOAL HERE) but she feels confident again and isn't hanging her head in shame.

    I wish everyone had somebody to make them feel beautiful and help them by buying healthy food and explaining how it heals the body. I know the government can't be our "parent" but I wish something could be done in the positive direction to educate people and stop the corporations from making people believe bad food is OK...

    I think this is a particularly good approach. One thing I noticed in the video was how he says he HATES his body.

    I'm no stranger to being angry with one's body. When I had cancer, I was angry that my body tried to self-destruct. I was also angry that I went from being a fit military officer to someone who was winded and needed a break just walking a few hundred feet to the corner. It's been years and I'm STILL fighting to regain the levels of health and fitness that I lost, and I will continue to eye my own body with suspicion, because it's already tried to kill me once. I'm definitely not happy with the hand I was dealt.

    But in my case, I viewed my body as a machine, which is exactly what any body is. It is a complex combination of systems that sometimes breaks down and needs repairs. Even if repairs aren't necessary, it simply needs ongoing maintenance. For me, part of my confidene comes from putting sweat equity in my body and getting results, very much the same way I feel pride for the sweat equity I've put into my house.

    From my seat, your focus on your daughter's health is in a similar vein, becuse you're focusing on the maintenance of her body, and that's the healthy approach. We can't all fit into certain molds, but we can learn to do the best with what we've got.

    Embracing the concept that you can take care of yourself and fix your shortcomings goes a long way, I believe, to avoiding hating your body because it prevents you from feeling helpless.



    Back to the main topics in the video:
    1) Fat Shaming by his Friend:

    I can somewhat see the Friend's logic. He probably hoped what he was doing would inspire that "holy cow, I need ot make a change" moment. However, he failed to realize that this approach easily backfires, especially if you have an emotional eater as this individual seems to be.

    There are about a million ways you could do this better. My personal preference would have been a frank talk. It's possible to politely and still frankly say "I'm concerned about your lifestyle" that can still carry the "look at yourself" message but without the "you're disgusting and should be ashamed" tone. You can bring up how easily he gets out of breath, how he may be eating too much for his body to safely handle, or even the aesthetics. And you can discuss the health and lifestyle ramifications. But relying on shame and peer pressure to have an effect doesn't always work. Some people, like me, tend to dig in when they feel pressure. Others, like this individual, may end up taking the opposite route.


    2) Fat Shaming on the internet / in the media:

    It sounds crude, but welcome to the world of... well.. EVERYBODY.

    With as much media as is available, it's easy to find somebody poking fun at a group you fit into. (Recently, people have been blasting Miss USA for being "too thin".)

    Being in the military apparently makes me a mindless drone, despite the fact I'm only 1 class and a thesis away from my Master's degree and I attended a University that recruited (cut my tuition in half) for my academic prowess. It also apparently makes me some kind of power-hungry megalomaniac despite the fact that, between following orders from above and taking care my subordinates, I seem to spend most of my time taking care of everybody else. I'm from the South, so I've apparently come from inbred, uneducated folk. Add in the fact I own firearms, and apparently I've got the IQ of a brick.

    As a man, it seems like television and commercials tell everyone that I'm automatically the incompetent, childlike buffoon in a relationship who, left to his own devices, is just going to screw everything up, as though I'm some unrefined caveman who needs the saving grace of a woman or even kids to drag me out of the paleolitic era.

    I think what happens is that messages that hurt us tend to stick out in our memories more and sting worse than postive or neutral ones.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    Options
    The only time physical assaults are justified in any way is in self defence. From physical attack - NOT to make yourself feel like a big, tough bad@ss when somebody makes a snarky comment. Because you might think that it's big and clever to assault another person - but it doesn't. It makes you the bad guy.
    I'm a 5ft4" middle-aged woman, not a 'big, tough, bada$$'. I also didn't say it was big or clever....what I said was that I exploded and that it was 'the straw that broke the camel's back'.

    Do you seriously think that if I had been thinking rationally I'd have thought to myself "Oh that guy who's at least 6 inches taller than me and much fitter has just insulted me, so despite the fact that I'm a short, unfit, 44yr old woman who's never hurt anyone in her life...I'll try taking him on in a fight" Come on.....engage some common sense here. Again I'll say that if you push someone too far they may implode or explode - it's not a rational response.

    Still - it's nice to see that self-righteousness is alive and well on MFP today :drinker:
    [/quote]



    Although I don't condone violence...you go girl! That little pr!ck will think twice next time he decides to be an @sshole. You quite possibly saved someone else's self esteem that day.