Fat shaming and making fun of fat people
Replies
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Fat shaming doesn't work.
But what does?
it is a good question and the answer is it is different for everyone
but I would argue that it isn't up to me or you or others to get someone to change (by shaming or by other friendlier methods)
Unless someone is asking for help to change their lifestyle then it isn't my business or anyone else's whether they make the change or not
I will however applaud them if they do make the changes and I will certainly help with motivation if they ask for it
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Excuses and priorities. Those are the base issues that need be addressed. People need to sort those out on their own. Then live with the results of their decisions.0
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Let's worry less about fat shaming and a little more about eating less and moving more. Okay?
Just my opinion but it seemed to work well for me.0 -
Let's worry less about fat shaming and a little more about eating less and moving more. Okay?
Just my opinion but it seemed to work well for me.
:drinker:0 -
Hah, I was just going to say that.I have to stop myself from responding to a lot of people on this message board because of fat shaming. Whether they are former fat ppl or never have been fat ever, I've seen some really questionable and just mean and hurtful **** said about fat people on these boards. Not saying that all of it was intentional, but sometimes the way folks word things just sucks.
Thank you! I am shocked -- shocked -- that there are not more responses like this on this board, especially when I see all the tickers many people here have showing that have lost 75 pounds or more. People just LOVE hating on the fatties, including other fatties, I guess, and for them weight loss is just an excuse to join in the bullying.
Bottom line: Someone else's weight is nobody's business but their own. No one gets to say "He SHOULD lose weight and he doesn't, therefore LET'S GET HIM!" It's. Not. Cool.
I don't care if the particular guy in this particular video sounded whiny. IT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LEGITIMATELY HAVE PROBLEMS, it just makes him whiny about his problems. Will losing weight help him avoid the fat shaming? Maybe! You know what else would help? If people stopped being ****ing bullying asshats, or even if society at large stopped giving a pass to bullying asshats just because their targets are fat.
Okay, something that is happening here is a failure to communicate properly. Many of the folks saying that are saying he's whining instead of doing something about it are NOT shaming him. You may interpret is as such, but that is not what is happening. They're stating that in order to actually lose the weight he wants to lose he needs to break out of his shell and put in the work. Motivation is the first hurdle to getting it done. He hasn't taken that step yet. He needs to get motivated enough within himself to do something about it. They're not ridiculing him because he's fat.
Let me tell you something I see from pretty much every fit guy or gal around.
THE MOST INSPIRING thing for a fit person to see is a fat guy in his second week at the gym, still busting his backside, sweating like a stuck pig to try and get fit. It makes the gym alpha in the corner get teary eyed with how much potential this heavy ball of clay has in front of him. They want to see him or her keep coming and succeeding, day in and day out. It makes them pump harder themselves. It makes them double down on their routines, just to get the sweat going again. They don't want to see the fat guy fail or never try. They want to see the fat guy burn his way out of his gelatinous cocoon and turn into a heavy metal, fire breathing, iron plated butterfly with latissimus wings that make his feet lift the ground when he flexes.
TL;DR: Fit people see fat people as potential future badarses, not fat tubs of crap. At least that's my experience.
Fat people at the gym don't owe you anything!! They don't need to prove themselves to "fit people". They don't need to be a fit person's inspiration porn either? I cant believe what I am reading? This potential heavy ball of clay in a gelatinous cocoon?! Respectfully, I have to say...Are you serious?!
Umm a fat person at the gym is a human being, not an object to be molded into something FIT people want to see. Someone else's body and being is none of anyone else's business unless they invite it to be. Judging someone based on their body size is just wrong. Making fun of people, putting them down, saying mean things to 'inspire them and lift them up', is wrong. Always has been, always will be.
You entirely missed the point of the person you quoted. Please reread what was written.
Enlighten me. Saying that I totally missed the point doesn't help me understand what she said. What am I missing? She said the most inspiring thing for a fit person to see is a fat person in the gym giving it their all. Breaking out of their fat cocoon and becoming a fit butterfly. What did I miss?
OMG I just realized my ticker is a butterfly. Will I be a fit butterfly?
Because it is uplifting for one person to see another person succeed at something they know is very difficult. That's the point you missed.
Exactly this^
I only have a few pounds to lose. I don't know what it's like to be obese. I have a friend who's on her way to lose 80 lbs in a year. She trains very hard and has changed her food habits. She is fitter than me. She can do pull-ups and stuff I'm far away to accomplish. She is my inspiration and a good motivation. I look at her and ask myself "what's my excuse?"0 -
They don't want to see the fat guy fail or never try. They want to see the fat guy burn his way out of his gelatinous cocoon and turn into a heavy metal, fire breathing, iron plated butterfly with latissimus wings that make his feet lift the ground when he flexes.
Enlighten me. Saying that I totally missed the point doesn't help me understand what she said. What am I missing? She said the most inspiring thing for a fit person to see is a fat person in the gym giving it their all. Breaking out of their fat cocoon and becoming a fit butterfly. What did I miss?
OMG I just realized my ticker is a butterfly. Will I be a fit butterfly?
Love,
You already are a beautiful butterfly. It's already inside you. I can see it in the way you put your hands on your hips, basically telling the world that you're going to do it, and do it good. You're a success story of your own making, in the making.
Maybe if I give you my current story you'll understand a little butter. Right now, I'm a fat tub of goo. But I'm not going to be that way forever. If you don't believe me, here are my progress pics from yesterday: http://imgur.com/a/rnvye
It embarasses the hell out of me to look at myself as I am and compare it to anyone else. I am ashamed of how I look. You know who else is ashamed of the way I look? No-flippin-body. The only person judging me is myself. I have made a conscious effort to stop feeling sorry for myself, or making excuses, or putting it off and am sucking it up and kicking my own backside. I need this for me.
So, yeah, my gym story...
A few months ago I started lifting. From day one most of the "super fits" in the gym gave me that look. The one that you and I probably interpret as "oh great, another tub of lard come to breathe our air and occupy our weights". But that wasn't what that look is at all. It's the same look I've started to give other people now. It's that look of, "Okay, day one. I'm going to remember this guy. I hope I see him in here again. I know where he's at and where he could be going. I want to see the magic happen, because that's what it is: magic. But I don't want to be let down again and see another guy burn out. I wish I could just pick him up and help him fly, but the only person who can do that is himself." What you're seeing day one is a combination of hopefulness and sorrow for those that didn't keep going. You're seeing the hope that you can make it, mixed with the fear you will not. And yes, they are judging you, just like you're judging them. But they're not judging you by how fat you are. They're judging you on your desire to knock it out of the park. They're judging you on whether or not you'll be their next gym buddy. They want to help you be the best you can be, but they can't do that if you quit. So they wait and watch with that same expression.
Now that I've been lifting for a few months the look has changed. It no longer has the pang of pain attached to it. Even though I'm still obese. Even though I'm still in the cocoon they know I'm struggling to get out, clawing my way out, inch by inch, pound by pound. That look is now one of recognition and respect. They look over and see me struggle to press a pair of 75lb dumbbells and are like "Is he gonna do it? Is he gonna pull this off?" The other day one of the trainers saw me struggling on dumbbell overhead press and couldn't stop himself. He walked over and put his hands on my elbows to help me through the lift, shouting encouragement "Good form man! Kicking *kitten*! One more! You got this!" and it just broke me down. And now I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, remembering it and realizing what was happening.
They want you to succeed for you. They don't want you to fall into their cookie cutter mold of what fitness is. They want you to become your own butterfly, not theirs. They want you to break out of your fears and embarrassment. They want you to start kicking *kitten* for yourself, not them. That's the real magic.
I hope that helps explain things a little better. Most fit people aren't trying to shame you. Yes, there are d-bags out there, but they're few and far between. Yes, I know those are the ones you remember. They're the ones I remember. I'd like nothing more than to crack their skull open with a kettlebell. They're the same folks who used to pull wings off of insects as a child. But that's not everybody. Most of them want to see you be a butterfly.
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Beautiful :flowerforyou:0 -
What about this? I was always VERY skinny growing up. I mean skinny as in my ribcage stuck out further than my boobs. I didn't gain weight until grad school when I was in my early 20's. But anyways, my sister who was and is morbidly obese always made fun of me for being skinny. She would call me anorexic, stick figure, skeleton, etc. If I ever insulted her back by calling her fat my parents would freak out and I would get in trouble. They said she could make fun of me for being skinny, because being skinny was good and being fat wasn't. So why the double standards?
Because we live in a society where thin/slender/slim is held up as the ideal and fat is considered totally unacceptable. Thin people are privileged; fat people are discriminated against. I'm very surprised that so many people on this thread are talking as though fat-shaming and "thin-shaming" are equivalent. I don't see that at all. I don't believe total strangers go up to thin people and confront them about their weight, express "concern" for their health, etc. As for what happens on MFP, nobody here is critiquing Miss America's body type to her face.
I actually have seen this happen. I had a college roommate who was always berating skinny girls. And I have gotten more than a few comments here on MFP "to my face" about my size. I've been fat and I've been thin, and I actually think I get more "concerned" comments now that I'm small.
In regards to your comment about it being ok to "thin-shame" because thin is the ideal, every time someone says anything about thin being ideal there's a chorus of shouting that "meat is for men, bones are for dogs," "real women have curves," etc. Which is it? Either being thin is the ideal, or it isn't. Even if it is the ideal, I still don't see how that makes it ok to shame women for being the ideal. Do they not deserve health self-esteem and the respect of other people just because they are thin?
Wonderful comment. I've been called anorexic, sickly, skinny b!tch, and skinny s!ut just to name a few. These are comments to my face from perfect strangers. I have a very healthy sense of self and body image, as well as a healthy bmi. I've had girls harass me about what size jeans I wear, only to remind me that boys prefer "curvy" women. My friend Christian is ripped, but has been called a "holocaust victim" more than once because of how slender he still is. What an awful thing to say to someone.
Thin girls are not priviledged, we are not special. We work hard because we care about our health, and that's hardly a reason you can't do the same.
I stand corrected on the incidents people have reported here, and I'm really sorry that happened to you. I absolutely do not think it's okay! To me, it's nobody's damn business and totally out of line for strangers (and usually, non-strangers) to comment on appearance (I used to get this for being nearsighted, and I still cannot believe total strangers would hold up fingers in my face and ask, "How many?" or suggest I see an eye doctor, as if I had never thought about or done that). My point about privilege has to do with larger societal issues; for example, research shows that thin women earn more money than big women, that people have more positive attitudes toward thin than fat people, etc. I think it's important not to lose sight of the fact that perceptions and treatment of thin people and fat people are, generally speaking, not equivalent. The fact that some people have experienced outrageous harassment about their (thin) size doesn't fundamentally change that. I hope that makes sense.0 -
. That day I had a total 'Falling Down' moment, and despite being a 5ft4" middle aged woman, I felled the guy with a full force kick to the crotch (yay for Brashers' walking boots...they're heavy beasts) and a smash round the head with a plastic retractable dog lead for good measure.
Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?0 -
I stand corrected on the incidents people have reported here, and I'm really sorry that happened to you. I absolutely do not think it's okay! To me, it's nobody's damn business and totally out of line for strangers (and usually, non-strangers) to comment on appearance (I used to get this for being nearsighted, and I still cannot believe total strangers would hold up fingers in my face and ask, "How many?" or suggest I see an eye doctor, as if I had never thought about or done that). My point about privilege has to do with larger societal issues; for example, research shows that thin women earn more money than big women, that people have more positive attitudes toward thin than fat people, etc. I think it's important not to lose sight of the fact that perceptions and treatment of thin people and fat people are, generally speaking, not equivalent. The fact that some people have experienced outrageous harassment about their (thin) size doesn't fundamentally change that. I hope that makes sense.
That does make more sense. I can't comment about what is "generally" the case, I can only speak to my own experience. I am glad that I misunderstood and that you weren't saying that shaming thin women is ok because they're thin, which is how I read the first comment. I think it's because I took this statement:I'm very surprised that so many people on this thread are talking as though fat-shaming and "thin-shaming" are equivalent.
and read it as "fat shaming is worse than thin-shaming" rather than "fat shaming is more widespread," which I think is what you were saying.
I think what we can agree on here is that shaming a person's body is not okay. :flowerforyou:0 -
As far as the comments about whining are concerned, I feel so /shrug/ about it. If a person wants to complain, they should be able to complain. If you don't want to listen to a person complain, it's easy enough to exit out of the video. Venting can be helpful and cathartic, and he's not hurting anyone by doing it so that's just one big shrug to me.
I get so sick of the "is fat shaming ok?" debate and I always feel like the unpopular opinion on here. Fat shaming totally occurs and the complaints about fat shaming are valid. Fat shaming, like any form of shaming, is not okay. No one deserves to be made fun of (fat OR skinny – though I will admit that there is a key difference between fat shaming and skinny shaming that boils down to privilege; it's by no means an apples to apples comparison).
I think we should cease to body police in general. Whether a person counts calories or doesn't, or weighs X pounds, or eats dessert or not is their decision. Said decisions shouldn't warrant unsolicited criticism.0 -
People who feel the need to shame anyone can go suck a bag of di(ks quietly in the corner and shut the furluck up. That is all.0
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I have to stop myself from responding to a lot of people on this message board because of fat shaming. Whether they are former fat ppl or never have been fat ever, I've seen some really questionable and just mean and hurtful **** said about fat people on these boards. Not saying that all of it was intentional, but sometimes the way folks word things just sucks.
Thank you! I am shocked -- shocked -- that there are not more responses like this on this board, especially when I see all the tickers many people here have showing that have lost 75 pounds or more. People just LOVE hating on the fatties, including other fatties, I guess, and for them weight loss is just an excuse to join in the bullying.
Bottom line: Someone else's weight is nobody's business but their own. No one gets to say "He SHOULD lose weight and he doesn't, therefore LET'S GET HIM!" It's. Not. Cool.
I don't care if the particular guy in this particular video sounded whiny. IT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LEGITIMATELY HAVE PROBLEMS, it just makes him whiny about his problems. Will losing weight help him avoid the fat shaming? Maybe! You know what else would help? If people stopped being ****ing bullying asshats, or even if society at large stopped giving a pass to bullying asshats just because their targets are fat.
^^^^ so much this :flowerforyou: :drinker:0 -
I just think there's no reason to humiliate, belittle or demean anyone else, especially not someone who isn't hurting you and is just trying to live their lives. Kindness is good.0
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Nope nope nope...Nobody should have to put up with ignorant people full stop. Yeah I'm a dreamer, yeah people suck but people should not as you put it "Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed" because of the ignorance of others.I didn't watch the video but I've been both fat and thin (hottie) in my life and I know it's my fault totally. I love good food! I don't cry about it or look to be some kind of victim. I also don't care what anyone yells at me from across the street or restaurant. But if someone gets in my face I will let them know how I feel. (Believe me! lol) I also don't need someone supporting, encouraging or watching over me. I hate cry babies who wahh at any reason someone offends them. Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed. I chose to lose weight this time only because my health is at stake and I have young children to live for. Otherwise I'd be eating a big *kitten* hamburger, fries and vanilla shake right now, SUPERSIZED! hahaha But seriously I think overweight people need to either put up with ignorant people or lose weight. And even then, If it's not weight people are talking crap about it's race, sexual identity, sex, age, omg etc, etc... People will always talk crap no matter who or what you are period.
How about instead of people putting up with it maybe other people should stop the excrement from pouring out of their mouths.0 -
Fat shaming is just as bad as calling skinny people "skinny b!tches" or telling them to eat something.
Shaming is shaming and it is all wrong.0 -
sounds like his friend matt was a jerk.0
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I stand corrected on the incidents people have reported here, and I'm really sorry that happened to you. I absolutely do not think it's okay! To me, it's nobody's damn business and totally out of line for strangers (and usually, non-strangers) to comment on appearance (I used to get this for being nearsighted, and I still cannot believe total strangers would hold up fingers in my face and ask, "How many?" or suggest I see an eye doctor, as if I had never thought about or done that). My point about privilege has to do with larger societal issues; for example, research shows that thin women earn more money than big women, that people have more positive attitudes toward thin than fat people, etc. I think it's important not to lose sight of the fact that perceptions and treatment of thin people and fat people are, generally speaking, not equivalent. The fact that some people have experienced outrageous harassment about their (thin) size doesn't fundamentally change that. I hope that makes sense.
That does make more sense. I can't comment about what is "generally" the case, I can only speak to my own experience. I am glad that I misunderstood and that you weren't saying that shaming thin women is ok because they're thin, which is how I read the first comment. I think it's because I took this statement:I'm very surprised that so many people on this thread are talking as though fat-shaming and "thin-shaming" are equivalent.
and read it as "fat shaming is worse than thin-shaming" rather than "fat shaming is more widespread," which I think is what you were saying.
I think what we can agree on here is that shaming a person's body is not okay. :flowerforyou:
Absolutely! Thanks.0 -
Nope nope nope...Nobody should have to put up with ignorant people full stop. Yeah I'm a dreamer, yeah people suck but people should not as you put it "Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed" because of the ignorance of others.I didn't watch the video but I've been both fat and thin (hottie) in my life and I know it's my fault totally. I love good food! I don't cry about it or look to be some kind of victim. I also don't care what anyone yells at me from across the street or restaurant. But if someone gets in my face I will let them know how I feel. (Believe me! lol) I also don't need someone supporting, encouraging or watching over me. I hate cry babies who wahh at any reason someone offends them. Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed. I chose to lose weight this time only because my health is at stake and I have young children to live for. Otherwise I'd be eating a big *kitten* hamburger, fries and vanilla shake right now, SUPERSIZED! hahaha But seriously I think overweight people need to either put up with ignorant people or lose weight. And even then, If it's not weight people are talking crap about it's race, sexual identity, sex, age, omg etc, etc... People will always talk crap no matter who or what you are period.
How about instead of people putting up with it maybe other people should stop the excrement from pouring out of their mouths.
We can argue "should" all we want, but that won't change the world. What you can control is your own reactions to other people's actions. All you accomplish when you overreact is to provide the other person additional ammunition. Debate all you want, but when you find yourself getting angry, walk away. Shut off the computer. Go to the gym. It's a lot healthier than letting someone else control your emotions like a puppet.0 -
Hah, I was just going to say that.I have to stop myself from responding to a lot of people on this message board because of fat shaming. Whether they are former fat ppl or never have been fat ever, I've seen some really questionable and just mean and hurtful **** said about fat people on these boards. Not saying that all of it was intentional, but sometimes the way folks word things just sucks.
Thank you! I am shocked -- shocked -- that there are not more responses like this on this board, especially when I see all the tickers many people here have showing that have lost 75 pounds or more. People just LOVE hating on the fatties, including other fatties, I guess, and for them weight loss is just an excuse to join in the bullying.
Bottom line: Someone else's weight is nobody's business but their own. No one gets to say "He SHOULD lose weight and he doesn't, therefore LET'S GET HIM!" It's. Not. Cool.
I don't care if the particular guy in this particular video sounded whiny. IT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LEGITIMATELY HAVE PROBLEMS, it just makes him whiny about his problems. Will losing weight help him avoid the fat shaming? Maybe! You know what else would help? If people stopped being ****ing bullying asshats, or even if society at large stopped giving a pass to bullying asshats just because their targets are fat.
Okay, something that is happening here is a failure to communicate properly. Many of the folks saying that are saying he's whining instead of doing something about it are NOT shaming him. You may interpret is as such, but that is not what is happening. They're stating that in order to actually lose the weight he wants to lose he needs to break out of his shell and put in the work. Motivation is the first hurdle to getting it done. He hasn't taken that step yet. He needs to get motivated enough within himself to do something about it. They're not ridiculing him because he's fat.
Let me tell you something I see from pretty much every fit guy or gal around.
THE MOST INSPIRING thing for a fit person to see is a fat guy in his second week at the gym, still busting his backside, sweating like a stuck pig to try and get fit. It makes the gym alpha in the corner get teary eyed with how much potential this heavy ball of clay has in front of him. They want to see him or her keep coming and succeeding, day in and day out. It makes them pump harder themselves. It makes them double down on their routines, just to get the sweat going again. They don't want to see the fat guy fail or never try. They want to see the fat guy burn his way out of his gelatinous cocoon and turn into a heavy metal, fire breathing, iron plated butterfly with latissimus wings that make his feet lift the ground when he flexes.
TL;DR: Fit people see fat people as potential future badarses, not fat tubs of crap. At least that's my experience.
Fat people at the gym don't owe you anything!! They don't need to prove themselves to "fit people". They don't need to be a fit person's inspiration porn either? I cant believe what I am reading? This potential heavy ball of clay in a gelatinous cocoon?! Respectfully, I have to say...Are you serious?!
Umm a fat person at the gym is a human being, not an object to be molded into something FIT people want to see. Someone else's body and being is none of anyone else's business unless they invite it to be. Judging someone based on their body size is just wrong. Making fun of people, putting them down, saying mean things to 'inspire them and lift them up', is wrong. Always has been, always will be.
You entirely missed the point of the person you quoted. Please reread what was written.
Enlighten me. Saying that I totally missed the point doesn't help me understand what she said. What am I missing? She said the most inspiring thing for a fit person to see is a fat person in the gym giving it their all. Breaking out of their fat cocoon and becoming a fit butterfly. What did I miss?
OMG I just realized my ticker is a butterfly. Will I be a fit butterfly?
Because it is uplifting for one person to see another person succeed at something they know is very difficult. That's the point you missed.
Nope, I got that point. Didn't miss that at all. But my opinion on this subject seems to be the unpopular one so I am just going to have to agree to disagree with some of you folks.
::flutters away::
but if there are ppl out there who believe a fat person at the gym is just ummm a fat person at the gym and not some kind of after school special type story who needs and wants your encouragement to "keep pushing" through then add me. if u aren't down with fat shaming and shoving your health & nutrition goals and ideals down someone's fat throat. holla and again, add me as a friend.
::flutters far away::
Sending you a request. :flowerforyou:0 -
. They don't want to see the fat guy fail or never try. They want to see the fat guy burn his way out of his gelatinous cocoon and turn into a heavy metal, fire breathing, iron plated butterfly with latissimus wings that make his feet lift the ground when he flexes.
Wow that's a pretty sentiment, Lovely! If I ever get to the point I spit fire I'm going to get an iron butterfly tattoo breathing fire just like you said very cool inspiring image.
Or maybe a fruit fly since I'm all about D. melanogaster...anyways that's just a beautiful picture.0 -
Nope nope nope...Nobody should have to put up with ignorant people full stop. Yeah I'm a dreamer, yeah people suck but people should not as you put it "Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed" because of the ignorance of others.I didn't watch the video but I've been both fat and thin (hottie) in my life and I know it's my fault totally. I love good food! I don't cry about it or look to be some kind of victim. I also don't care what anyone yells at me from across the street or restaurant. But if someone gets in my face I will let them know how I feel. (Believe me! lol) I also don't need someone supporting, encouraging or watching over me. I hate cry babies who wahh at any reason someone offends them. Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed. I chose to lose weight this time only because my health is at stake and I have young children to live for. Otherwise I'd be eating a big *kitten* hamburger, fries and vanilla shake right now, SUPERSIZED! hahaha But seriously I think overweight people need to either put up with ignorant people or lose weight. And even then, If it's not weight people are talking crap about it's race, sexual identity, sex, age, omg etc, etc... People will always talk crap no matter who or what you are period.
How about instead of people putting up with it maybe other people should stop the excrement from pouring out of their mouths.
Oh my gosh........I LIKE you!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Agreed it is our reaction to a situation that affects us not the situation itself, and yes going to the gym is a lot better than letting someone else control your emotions. Sadly people do tend to overreact to comments made by complete strangers or even friends and loved ones. My comment about people should stop the excrement from pouring out of their mouths was not directed at the person I was quoting it was directed at people who feel the need to belittle others.I have no desire to argue the point of "should". just felt personally and it just is an opinion that the mindset of "Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed" is quite counterproductive and a little myopic to the complexity of the situation. Yes it can be as simple as eating less and moving more but people sometimes have emotional issues to deal with that blind them to this.
Nope nope nope...Nobody should have to put up with ignorant people full stop. Yeah I'm a dreamer, yeah people suck but people should not as you put it "Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed" because of the ignorance of others.I didn't watch the video but I've been both fat and thin (hottie) in my life and I know it's my fault totally. I love good food! I don't cry about it or look to be some kind of victim. I also don't care what anyone yells at me from across the street or restaurant. But if someone gets in my face I will let them know how I feel. (Believe me! lol) I also don't need someone supporting, encouraging or watching over me. I hate cry babies who wahh at any reason someone offends them. Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed. I chose to lose weight this time only because my health is at stake and I have young children to live for. Otherwise I'd be eating a big *kitten* hamburger, fries and vanilla shake right now, SUPERSIZED! hahaha But seriously I think overweight people need to either put up with ignorant people or lose weight. And even then, If it's not weight people are talking crap about it's race, sexual identity, sex, age, omg etc, etc... People will always talk crap no matter who or what you are period.
How about instead of people putting up with it maybe other people should stop the excrement from pouring out of their mouths.
We can argue "should" all we want, but that won't change the world. What you can control is your own reactions to other people's actions. All you accomplish when you overreact is to provide the other person additional ammunition. Debate all you want, but when you find yourself getting angry, walk away. Shut off the computer. Go to the gym. It's a lot healthier than letting someone else control your emotions like a puppet.0 -
when i see a fat people eating junk food, i tell them to go to myfitnesspal.com0
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I'm just angry that people make fun of each other based on weight, race, religion, age etc. Not based on their personality. It makes me sad and angry.0 -
I don't support fat shaming at all.. But in my case, I'm glad it happend or else I wouldn't be where I am now.. I think criticism, even a little negative criticism can be helpful, but too excessive and it can tear a person down. In the end everyone is motivated differently.0 -
My 9 year old daughter just got a little "chubby" and started getting picked on in school. I have worked her whole life to make her understand how beautiful she is and it has been undone by 3rd grade boys in a few months...
I have decided to IGNORE the "Fat" comments and focus with her on "health." We are focusing on packing fruits instead of crackers and taking a walk instead of watching TV. I am talking to her about her heart, circulation, lungs, skin and hair cells and how they need the nutrition from good food as opposed to focusing on what's fattening or "bad."
It's been a few weeks in this mission and the difference is visible. Not only has she slimmed down a little (NOT MY MAIN GOAL HERE) but she feels confident again and isn't hanging her head in shame.
I wish everyone had somebody to make them feel beautiful and help them by buying healthy food and explaining how it heals the body. I know the government can't be our "parent" but I wish something could be done in the positive direction to educate people and stop the corporations from making people believe bad food is OK...
There you go! That's what I wish I had when I was growing up, instead of being reminded of how difficult it was to buy clothes for me because "you are so fat" (this while school-clothes shopping). That, or being sarcastically asked, "Since when are you on a diet?"
Are you explaining to her about labels and servings?0 -
I'm just angry that people make fun of each other based on weight, race, religion, age etc. Not based on their personality. It makes me sad and angry.
Just so I understand...
...when I meet someone with a crappy personality, then it's okay to make fun of them...
...right?0 -
Agreed it is our reaction to a situation that affects us not the situation itself, and yes going to the gym is a lot better than letting someone else control your emotions. Sadly people do tend to overreact to comments made by complete strangers or even friends and loved ones. My comment about people should stop the excrement from pouring out of their mouths was not directed at the person I was quoting it was directed at people who feel the need to belittle others.I have no desire to argue the point of "should". just felt personally and it just is an opinion that the mindset of "Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed" is quite counterproductive and a little myopic to the complexity of the situation. Yes it can be as simple as eating less and moving more but people sometimes have emotional issues to deal with that blind them to this.
Nope nope nope...Nobody should have to put up with ignorant people full stop. Yeah I'm a dreamer, yeah people suck but people should not as you put it "Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed" because of the ignorance of others.I didn't watch the video but I've been both fat and thin (hottie) in my life and I know it's my fault totally. I love good food! I don't cry about it or look to be some kind of victim. I also don't care what anyone yells at me from across the street or restaurant. But if someone gets in my face I will let them know how I feel. (Believe me! lol) I also don't need someone supporting, encouraging or watching over me. I hate cry babies who wahh at any reason someone offends them. Get over it or stay at home inside with the curtains closed. I chose to lose weight this time only because my health is at stake and I have young children to live for. Otherwise I'd be eating a big *kitten* hamburger, fries and vanilla shake right now, SUPERSIZED! hahaha But seriously I think overweight people need to either put up with ignorant people or lose weight. And even then, If it's not weight people are talking crap about it's race, sexual identity, sex, age, omg etc, etc... People will always talk crap no matter who or what you are period.
How about instead of people putting up with it maybe other people should stop the excrement from pouring out of their mouths.
We can argue "should" all we want, but that won't change the world. What you can control is your own reactions to other people's actions. All you accomplish when you overreact is to provide the other person additional ammunition. Debate all you want, but when you find yourself getting angry, walk away. Shut off the computer. Go to the gym. It's a lot healthier than letting someone else control your emotions like a puppet.
I understand that people have emotional issues, and the problem with emotional issues is that they tend to make us complicate the process. That's why mantras can help in many areas where we are trying to focus. "Eat less and move more," and yes, even "get over it" or "grow up" are useful to some people in some situations. They certainly are things I repeat to myself when things get hard. Learning to realize how much we can control is painful to some but that doesn't mean that that learning doesn't need to happen. To the contrary, it's the ultimate in personal empowerment.0 -
I'm just angry that people make fun of each other based on weight, race, religion, age etc. Not based on their personality. It makes me sad and angry.
Things you cant change:
race, age, sexual identity
Things you CAN change:
religion, weight, spouse.0 -
I have to stop myself from responding to a lot of people on this message board because of fat shaming. Whether they are former fat ppl or never have been fat ever, I've seen some really questionable and just mean and hurtful **** said about fat people on these boards. Not saying that all of it was intentional, but sometimes the way folks word things just sucks.
Thank you! I am shocked -- shocked -- that there are not more responses like this on this board, especially when I see all the tickers many people here have showing that have lost 75 pounds or more. People just LOVE hating on the fatties, including other fatties, I guess, and for them weight loss is just an excuse to join in the bullying.
Bottom line: Someone else's weight is nobody's business but their own. No one gets to say "He SHOULD lose weight and he doesn't, therefore LET'S GET HIM!" It's. Not. Cool.
I don't care if the particular guy in this particular video sounded whiny. IT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LEGITIMATELY HAVE PROBLEMS, it just makes him whiny about his problems. Will losing weight help him avoid the fat shaming? Maybe! You know what else would help? If people stopped being ****ing bullying asshats, or even if society at large stopped giving a pass to bullying asshats just because their targets are fat.
Okay, something that is happening here is a failure to communicate properly. Many of the folks saying that are saying he's whining instead of doing something about it are NOT shaming him. You may interpret is as such, but that is not what is happening. They're stating that in order to actually lose the weight he wants to lose he needs to break out of his shell and put in the work. Motivation is the first hurdle to getting it done. He hasn't taken that step yet. He needs to get motivated enough within himself to do something about it. They're not ridiculing him because he's fat.
Let me tell you something I see from pretty much every fit guy or gal around.
THE MOST INSPIRING thing for a fit person to see is a fat guy in his second week at the gym, still busting his backside, sweating like a stuck pig to try and get fit. It makes the gym alpha in the corner get teary eyed with how much potential this heavy ball of clay has in front of him. They want to see him or her keep coming and succeeding, day in and day out. It makes them pump harder themselves. It makes them double down on their routines, just to get the sweat going again. They don't want to see the fat guy fail or never try. They want to see the fat guy burn his way out of his gelatinous cocoon and turn into a heavy metal, fire breathing, iron plated butterfly with latissimus wings that make his feet lift the ground when he flexes.
TL;DR: Fit people see fat people as potential future badarses, not fat tubs of crap. At least that's my experience.
I want to be a badarse! Love your way of thinking
. That day I had a total 'Falling Down' moment, and despite being a 5ft4" middle aged woman, I felled the guy with a full force kick to the crotch (yay for Brashers' walking boots...they're heavy beasts) and a smash round the head with a plastic retractable dog lead for good measure.
Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?
I dare say he took it because what man wants admit to being beat up by an obese 5ft4 middle aged woman?0
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