Partners? Do they ever understand!!!!

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Replies

  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    My opinion...It takes time for us to adjust to a new eating behavior even when it is our choice to do so. Can we truly expect others to make that same adjustment in a short period of time.

    The OP said she had been married for 15 years. So for 15 years the husband had been doing things a certain way. Then a couple of weeks ago the OP changed the rules...expected her husband to change to accommodate those rules. Over time he might adjust to the new rules.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    MsJulesRenee wrote: »
    OP, I understand how you feel. My boyfriend, who I live with, bought me candy, soda, pizza, everything that will send me over the edge calorie wise. He bought them because he loves me and knows I cannot survive without treats. I smile, nod, and stick the chocolate in my sock drawer for later. Everything else I say "thank you but I can't eat that today. You can have it, baby". After about 6 months he got the idea that I don't need pizza, candy, and soda every night :D

    As for him adding stuff to the crock pot, that would drive me crazy too lol. Counting calories isn't an exact science. As long as you are eating less than what you usually would you will be fine. I understand wanting a structured environment but you will have the inevitable, unplanned meals. Learning to fit them into your goals is important if you want to keep the weight off long term. You can't plan every single meal for the rest of your life!
    Eat good when you can, be bad when you have to, exercise, it all evens out in the end.

    I feel you! My hubby brings home Toblerone pies...not one, but two! They are in my freezer screaming my name...but I know he does it because HE knows I LOVE chocolate....so I give him the look, say "oh no you didn't" then stick it in the freezer for a day when I can afford it!
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    I don't get mad at my husband and daughter if they bring home cookies, candy, chips, etc.

    I don't get upset with co-workers if they bring cookies, candy, chips, etc. to the office.

    Oddly, I don't feel that everything is all about me.
  • Timelordlady85
    Timelordlady85 Posts: 797 Member
    Nope, my husband is very supportive and I don't let stuff like that bother me. If he or the kids eat something, there is always more food in the house and I can always re-plan my meals. It literally takes a few minutes on my part to track another meal and if needed to do a bit more exercise to accommodate for any extra calories.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,596 Member
    Elshe1977 wrote: »
    I have struggled with my weight for 30 years and was feeling really positive since I started this two weeks ago. My husband have never had issues, chocolate, coke cola, Harribo sweets, he can do what he likes. So yes some of my frustration does also stem from that.

    ...

    I've got nearly 200 lb to lose and food is my comfort so yes I will be venting my frustrations in other ways. I just wish that this man of mine would listen to me, you know? Soul mate and all that, we are very much one of those couples on films who argue just to make up but he doesn't want to plan food, he doesn't want to discuss what's for tea, he'll decide when the time comes and when he does discuss it, he changes it and that's fine, he's the one cooking. He can have this time to eat something that I shouldn't be eating and I will make plans to fit with that. He normally only has to cook twice a week, this week was an exception with 3 lates, and I've tried everything I can think of to find a positive solution, like recipes in the slow cooker but I come home to find he's added ingredients.

    We always eat as a family when it's me cooking, we eat the same thing as a family. When he cooks I've turned into this deranged control freak and I'm getting angry with myself because of it. On a positive note. Haven't reached for a chocolate yet, which would be my normal trick.

    I'm just tired of being fat and I want to be able to go into a normal shop and by regular size clothes even if it's a size 18 and I'm tired of fighting my fat on my own. I get why he doesn't understand but I'm still tired none the less.

    I suppose I just needed someone to say, Yes we understand what you mean. Thanks again everyone.

    a) you're 2 weeks into this ... it will take a little while to get into a pattern.

    b) when it is his turn to cook, let him make food for himself and the kids ... and you can plan to eat something else. I offered several suggestions in an earlier post, but lots of veg plus maybe a Lean Cuisine meal or something. Lots of options out there.



  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
    My husband doesn't cook AT ALL, so sorry I'm not getting your anger given you have a hubby who cooks for your family.

    Seriously though you are going to have days when your food plans go to hell, you are going to have to be able to deal with that, and readjust your calories as needed.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    Poor guy
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,596 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Elshe1977 wrote: »
    I have struggled with my weight for 30 years and was feeling really positive since I started this two weeks ago. My husband have never had issues, chocolate, coke cola, Harribo sweets, he can do what he likes. So yes some of my frustration does also stem from that.

    ...

    I've got nearly 200 lb to lose and food is my comfort so yes I will be venting my frustrations in other ways. I just wish that this man of mine would listen to me, you know? Soul mate and all that, we are very much one of those couples on films who argue just to make up but he doesn't want to plan food, he doesn't want to discuss what's for tea, he'll decide when the time comes and when he does discuss it, he changes it and that's fine, he's the one cooking. He can have this time to eat something that I shouldn't be eating and I will make plans to fit with that. He normally only has to cook twice a week, this week was an exception with 3 lates, and I've tried everything I can think of to find a positive solution, like recipes in the slow cooker but I come home to find he's added ingredients.

    We always eat as a family when it's me cooking, we eat the same thing as a family. When he cooks I've turned into this deranged control freak and I'm getting angry with myself because of it. On a positive note. Haven't reached for a chocolate yet, which would be my normal trick.

    I'm just tired of being fat and I want to be able to go into a normal shop and by regular size clothes even if it's a size 18 and I'm tired of fighting my fat on my own. I get why he doesn't understand but I'm still tired none the less.

    I suppose I just needed someone to say, Yes we understand what you mean. Thanks again everyone.

    a) you're 2 weeks into this ... it will take a little while to get into a pattern.

    b) when it is his turn to cook, let him make food for himself and the kids ... and you can plan to eat something else. I offered several suggestions in an earlier post, but lots of veg plus maybe a Lean Cuisine meal or something. Lots of options out there.

    c) at this point ... just worry about calories. Don't get all tied up in knots about macros. Just simply go with fewer calories than you're burning (CICO). Leave the macros for later.

    However, that said, you will want to make good choices so you don't get hungry too quickly.

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