I love bullies....
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My daughter is 11 and when she was in 4th grade right after spring break I got a called from the principal who apologized for not calling me sooner. Apparently my daughter had bullied a kid so much on the bus that others chimed in and apparently he was pushed around a bit.
Now the thing is the entire spring break she didn't say a single thing so when she came home from school I asked her if she had anything she needed to tell me. I didn't say anything but when we got home (gave her the entire drive home to confess) I started bullying her. Just kinda pushing her a little and being mean (said the same exact things she said to the boy) I think she got the idea and started crying. I kept on for about 15-20 minutes which believe it or not was really difficult but she needed to know how she made that little boy feel.
Afterwards I made her apologize to the boy at the bus stop and told her if it happened again I'd tear her butt apart.
I forgot about that till after I just posted.
Also my son is 3 and I know for a fact I'll tell him this "Don't start a fight but don't lose one either" If someone touches him in the slightest he'll have to come to me. We'll talk about it and I'll go with him to inform school offilies. If the bullying continues he'll have my approval to kick some *kitten*. I don't care I've seen what happens when people bully and what it can do. If he bullies I'll tell him he deserves the *kitten* whupping he'll get.
Anyone disagrees with that then I feel sorry for your children. I'm not promoting violence but I won't raise my children to sit idly by while they or others get bullied.0 -
I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills
I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).
If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.
I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.
Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.
I disagree about verbal abuse not being bullying. Verbal harassment is bullying. Words can be just as strong, if not stronger, than physical violence, especially to children who are growing up and trying to figure out the type of person they are/will become.
Three types of abuse that bullying consists of:
Emotional
Verbal
Physical
That all being said, I wouldn't tell a child to hit someone for verbal abuse. Starting a fight = never. Defending oneself in a fight = always.
Fair enough. Lets call verbals mocking bullying. Still doesn't justify getting physical over it. And since currently I am being called a bully for giving out my opinions I think OP likes to say "he's a bully" to anyone who says something she doesn't agree with. Pretty much the same thing over and over we see on these forums all day. Disagree with somebody, get labeled a bully.
No. If you guys reread some of the things this person wrote to me and about me you will see I have every right to say he was being rude and insulting to me...And yes I did call him an idiot because of the stupid opinions he gave about ME personally and not the question I asked to share personal bullying stories. (Not sob stories)0 -
Who exactly is attacking anyone? What I see is disagreement and I don't see any response in this thread that would violate the very broad MFP rules banning verbal insults/attacks on others.
Well, I am not sure about that. I made a post explaining the difference between "Lose" and "Loose". It was not directed at anyone. It was simply an explanation of the difference between the proper usage of the two words. The forum police deemed that to be either attacking, insulting or mocking and a violation. I was sent a warning and the thread was locked.
Now let's look at this situation:
Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.
I would say calling someone's post a "sob story" is attacking and insulting.
He goes on to say:
I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.
Implying that the OP is not a good parent.
Look I really don't have a dog in THIS fight. I just think it is ridiculous that my instructive post regarding "loose v. lose" was considered a violation but this and many other more aggregious posts are not.
The rules are pretty clear about correcting grammar. I think if you post a thread about teaching your child to punch another kid then you have put your parenting skills direction at issue and open for discussion. I guess we'll eventually see what the mods think as bullying threads never go well.
And . . . of course, now the OP has decided to call another a poster an "idiot" which is frankly how these bullying threads always goes. Someone complains about verbal abuse and then ends up doing exactly that. Good times.
Correcting grammar is not the same as simply stating the correct useage. I would understand if the post belittled, teased or ridiculued someone. It didn't. It was an explanation. It was educational and not inflammatory.
Now, I would say that the rules are pretty clear about attacking and insulting another poster as well as retaliation. I have read many posts like this and they go on without any moderation...But god forbid someone enlighten others as to the correct useage of words. That might ruin their self-esteem beyond the point of repair.
you should understand that things get looked at closer depending on the level of butthurt and reporting.0 -
I used to be bullied as a kid. And it was by a bunch of project kids who lived down the street(We were real poor too just didn't live in the projects, thank God). We went to the same school. Anyways I was bullied from K to 3rd grade. (And by bullied I mean beat down and left for dead sometimes, at least it felt that way) But I got sick and tired of it. So one day in class I was called to the chalkboard and my seat squeaked like a fart when I got up. OMG , one of the boys who hated me the most started talking crap and then everyone was laughing and saying stuff. I felt like crying. The teacher was trying to get everyone settled and when I was done with the problem She called him to the chalkboard...There was lot of oooos and ohhhs and then instead of doing the problem he proceeded to draw a picture of me (which of course looked nothing like me) Everyone was laughing and yelling stuff, the teacher was trying to take the chalk away from him. And like in slow motion I got up went up to him and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. Then when he lunged I punched him in the side of the head....I was so pissed off. He started crying and everyone turned on him because he was crying. Probably one of the most liberating moments of my life. Could I do that now? Of course not. But one of my children had a bully. Had. Yeah I had him deal with it starting out ignoring, that didn't help, then trying to talk about it, and unfortunately he had to kick the kids *kitten* to get him to stop.
What are your experiences with bullies?
You kicked some little kids butt? Great message you're sending. No truly, GREAT job done mama.
ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.
Just out of curiousity, what do you think she should have done??? I finally put my son in karate to be able to do the same thing. When the school officials and the police do nothing and the other parents say "oh its just kids being kids", what other solution is there??? Just continue to let your kids get beat up? HELL NO
Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.
If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.
I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.
Your right on the point that I did attack him after he was 'only" mocking me. He and his pack had "only' been beating me up everyday for 3 years. So I snapped. Maybe some don't think that was the right move. I certainly don't teach my children to attack anyone either. I teach my kids to defend themselves only if they are physically assaulted.
Shoulda said that in your original thread then. Also, "snapping" is not something you should be teaching your kids. Specially not in a class full of witnesses. You're teaching your kid its ok to be a bully with anger management issues...
And who are you again? Some idiot who thinks he's Mr. father of the year or something? I never said I even told my kids about my bullying past. And you are nobody to tell me how to raise MY kids. Anger management? Wow you certainly are a piece of work.
Umm, you started this thread. Just because I don't agree with your tacts doesn't mean I'm in the wrong. You are now displaying anger.
Who am I? I am somebody who is concerned and is a member of this site and am participating in a discussion started by YOU
Please stop attacking me for disagreeing with you. If you can't handle statements that you don't agree with then please, don't start divisive threads.
Oh that's sweet I"M attacking YOU now huh? You wrote some very insulting remarks buddy. You are not going to bully me around either. You don't know me and should stop making assumptions about my parenting skills.
Ummm....you called him an idiot and now you are saying he is bullying you around? Sorry, if you do not want people making comments on a certain topic, therefore, it may be a good idea not to start a thread.
Did you read the whole thing? He is an idiot....
and you bully and attack yet again...
pot...i have a kettle I would like you to meet..0 -
I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills
I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).
If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.
I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.
Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.
I disagree about verbal abuse not being bullying. Verbal harassment is bullying. Words can be just as strong, if not stronger, than physical violence, especially to children who are growing up and trying to figure out the type of person they are/will become.
Three types of abuse that bullying consists of:
Emotional
Verbal
Physical
That all being said, I wouldn't tell a child to hit someone for verbal abuse. Starting a fight = never. Defending oneself in a fight = always.
Fair enough. Lets call verbals mocking bullying. Still doesn't justify getting physical over it. And since currently I am being called a bully for giving out my opinions I think OP likes to say "he's a bully" to anyone who says something she doesn't agree with. Pretty much the same thing over and over we see on these forums all day. Disagree with somebody, get labeled a bully.
No. If you guys reread some of the things this person wrote to me and about me you will see I have every right to say he was being rude and insulting to me...And yes I did call him an idiot because of the stupid opinions he gave about ME personally and not the question I asked to share personal bullying stories. (Not sob stories)
Since when is calling a story "sob story" considered bullying?sob sto·ry
Noun
A story or explanation intended to arouse sympathy for the person relating it.
Did you not wrote a sad story in the start?
You are still attacking me btw when I have actually said that I am NOT calling you a bad parent. I am just disagreeing with your opinions.0 -
OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.
Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:
A voice of reason I think.
OP, I do dearly say that I didn't mean to call you a bad parent. I do however say that I would never set an example of teaching kids to handle a situation physically when only words were being said.
And even though currently you're calling me names, I hope you learn to not start threads where you cannot handle opposite arguments.
Had it been a respectful opposing argument I would of happily debated this topic with you, but your "opposing arguments' were personally insulting therefore making you a troll. Now if your looking for peace, that is fine with me as long as you no longer nit pick my comments.....0 -
OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.
Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:
seriously, it is getting irritating.
* i mean the pissing match0 -
I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills
I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).
If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.
I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.
Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.
I disagree about verbal abuse not being bullying. Verbal harassment is bullying. Words can be just as strong, if not stronger, than physical violence, especially to children who are growing up and trying to figure out the type of person they are/will become.
Three types of abuse that bullying consists of:
Emotional
Verbal
Physical
That all being said, I wouldn't tell a child to hit someone for verbal abuse. Starting a fight = never. Defending oneself in a fight = always.
Fair enough. Lets call verbals mocking bullying. Still doesn't justify getting physical over it. And since currently I am being called a bully for giving out my opinions I think OP likes to say "he's a bully" to anyone who says something she doesn't agree with. Pretty much the same thing over and over we see on these forums all day. Disagree with somebody, get labeled a bully.
No. If you guys reread some of the things this person wrote to me and about me you will see I have every right to say he was being rude and insulting to me...And yes I did call him an idiot because of the stupid opinions he gave about ME personally and not the question I asked to share personal bullying stories. (Not sob stories)
Since when is calling a story "sob story" considered bullying?sob sto·ry
Noun
A story or explanation intended to arouse sympathy for the person relating it.
Did you not wrote a sad story in the start?
You are still attacking me btw when I have actually said that I am NOT calling you a bad parent. I am just disagreeing with your opinions.
You know damn well the term "sob story" is offensive.....0 -
Wow a thread about bullies and people are bullying each other.
There the squirrel can beat up all of you so put your ego's in check and chill out.
Good gah, everyone participating in that particular conversation in this thread is displaying poor behavior and seriously need a
I expect to not hear from any of you for at least 10 minutes while you think about what you've done.0 -
OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.
Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:
A voice of reason I think.
OP, I do dearly say that I didn't mean to call you a bad parent. I do however say that I would never set an example of teaching kids to handle a situation physically when only words were being said.
And even though currently you're calling me names, I hope you learn to not start threads where you cannot handle opposite arguments.
Had it been a respectful opposing argument I would of happily debated this topic with you, but your "opposing arguments' were personally insulting therefore making you a troll. Now if your looking for peace, that is fine with me as long as you no longer nit pick my comments.....
You are the one that has thrown insult after insults at me while I have respectfully disagreed with you. Don't try and make me the bad guy. You lashed out (sorry, "snapped") at me for my opinions.
And now I'm being called a troll...0 -
OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.
Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:
A voice of reason I think.
OP, I do dearly say that I didn't mean to call you a bad parent. I do however say that I would never set an example of teaching kids to handle a situation physically when only words were being said.
And even though currently you're calling me names, I hope you learn to not start threads where you cannot handle opposite arguments.
Had it been a respectful opposing argument I would of happily debated this topic with you, but your "opposing arguments' were personally insulting therefore making you a troll. Now if your looking for peace, that is fine with me as long as you no longer nit pick my comments.....
*pst* there is an ignore user button...use it.
then maybe other people can participate in this topic0 -
Keep jabbing Taunto I'll be back later....0
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OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.
Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:
seriously, it is getting irritating.
* i mean the pissing match
^ Yep. And I'm out.0 -
I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills
I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).
If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.
I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.
Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.
I disagree about verbal abuse not being bullying. Verbal harassment is bullying. Words can be just as strong, if not stronger, than physical violence, especially to children who are growing up and trying to figure out the type of person they are/will become.
Three types of abuse that bullying consists of:
Emotional
Verbal
Physical
That all being said, I wouldn't tell a child to hit someone for verbal abuse. Starting a fight = never. Defending oneself in a fight = always.
Fair enough. Lets call verbals mocking bullying. Still doesn't justify getting physical over it. And since currently I am being called a bully for giving out my opinions I think OP likes to say "he's a bully" to anyone who says something she doesn't agree with. Pretty much the same thing over and over we see on these forums all day. Disagree with somebody, get labeled a bully.
No. If you guys reread some of the things this person wrote to me and about me you will see I have every right to say he was being rude and insulting to me...And yes I did call him an idiot because of the stupid opinions he gave about ME personally and not the question I asked to share personal bullying stories. (Not sob stories)
Since when is calling a story "sob story" considered bullying?sob sto·ry
Noun
A story or explanation intended to arouse sympathy for the person relating it.
Did you not wrote a sad story in the start?
You are still attacking me btw when I have actually said that I am NOT calling you a bad parent. I am just disagreeing with your opinions.
You know damn well the term "sob story" is offensive.....
English is my 4th language. A sob story means a sad story to me. You wrote a sad story. Since when is sob story an offensive terms.
Is it an offensive terms like calling me an idiot and a troll?0 -
Angry nun is gonna smack you two, now one of you went I'm out so that's close enough to timeout for me
Taunto......
BEWARE
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Look, this line of argument that "it's just words" only applies if the attack is not repeated for a long period of time. If a guy doesn't like you and says smack once in a while, then you either ignore him or reply with a smartass comment. In this case physical response is not appropriate. However, if he belittles you every friggin day for an entire year, then it's not simply verbal abuse, it's emotional abuse.
It is my opinion that a single well placed punch to the stomach is mild compared to years of daily verbal attacks. There is a legal defense concept of "temporary insanity". If somebody puts you in a sufficiently bad mental state and you physically respond to it, the jury can mitigate your offense by reason of temporary insanity. Years of emotional abuse can (and often does) drive you insane.0 -
If the parents of the bully won't take care of the problem and get it to stop, the principal and teachers don't stop it at school, and the police don't do anything about it when it happens as the kids are walking home from school, damn straight kids should defend themselves.
I would never allow my son to punch/hit/kick/fight with someone who was verbally harassing him, but you can bet your booty that if some punk kid kept hitting and physically hurting my child and the problem wasn't solved by going to the teacher/principal/parents/police, yes I would tell my son to fight back as hard as he could and kick the crap out of the kid that was hurting him and I wouldn't care if he got suspended or fined for it, I would pay the fine myself!
I think all children should be taught to DEFEND themselves against bullies. A girl from my home town committed suicide at 13 years old because she was being bullied so badly she felt she had no other way out. There are children all over this country getting beat up by bullies. It is time that something gets done and if the authorities won't deal with it, then the kids need to show that they will not allow themselves to get beat up again.0 -
I thought this said "I love bellies...." especially after I saw Crank reply.0
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I still have scars on my face from being beaten by 2 guys behind the school with rocks. I drenched my entire outfit in blood and couldn't see. Frightened the teachers half to death. I had my head bashed off of brick walls daily. I was thrown into giant garbage bins. I was stabbed with thumb tacks by the guys in my class. Mostly it was all guys who cut me open and made me bleed. I've been chased and sticks have been jabbed into bikes flipping me over the front of the handlebars. I've been chased to the point I ended up climbing several fences and ended up on top of a guys shed and ended up jumping into a garden with a (luckily intimidating but non bite-e) german Sheppard before I was pushed off the roof. I've been forced under water in swimming pools while people held me down and took pictures of me drowning. I've been punched in the face. I've been called down into the dirt. I've had things stolen from me in front of my face. I ran home with my heart racing each day because people would follow me off the bus to beat the crap out of me. If I could get off the bus 4 stops early or late without them catching me I'd sneak off then...but they eventually found out all my hiding spots so even the short cuts usually consisted of much larger then me kids with sticks. I've been chased with knives and other weapons (but never stabbed).
I was very very shy as a kid. Picked last in gym. None of this was provoked. The reasons were variations of "You're ugly looking"
I live in a bad area of town, and went to a bad school. Then I switched to the school with more drugs and everyone was happy and laid back lol.
I've never lifted my hand to anyone. I don't feel angry enough to do it when those things happen, I feel sad more sad for humanity. I did however want to jump my friends x-husband for what he did to her...don't mess with my friends.
I grew up and don't have any looming regrets to look back on. Not sure about those folks or if they even realized they were attacking someone.0 -
I was bullied all through school. Right up until year year 10. (High School)
Year 10, everything changed for me, but i don't think it was for the best.
I was badly overweight, my parents brought me a mountain bike to ride to school. They just refused to drive me any more.
I rode 15km to school, then 15km back. Then i started Roller Blading. 15km to, 15km back.
I wasn't into exercising at all and had absolutely no idea i was loosing weight and packing on muscle. My fitness my mid year was outstanding, but again, i didnt even realise it.
Anyways, i was in Science Class, and again getting picked on. I lost my **** and belted this guy.
Luckily for me the teacher knew what was going on, looked after me and kicked the other kid out.
The next morning in home group all i could hear was whispering about me and what happened the day before.
As soon as i walked out, i was hit in the head by another bully. Smacked him up too.
This was when i started to get worried. I wasnt a fighter, and i could tell repercussions were coming.
That same day, on the way home i was approached by another from within that gang.
He was hitting me in the head so many times i couldnt see straight. Didnt know how to fight and this kid was so fast, i just picked him up and smashed his head on the road.
This was so not me. I didnt know what was going on.
This kept going for weeks. Another bully, and id get him too.
Untill i was suspended.
Turns out one of the bullies that came after me, parents were police.
That meeting wasn't fun
Sitting there with the principle, 2 police, my parents, a kid with stitches in his head, and myself with a broken hand.
It got so bad i left school and joined the work force.
Still didn't know i was getting stronger by riding so much, and now on top of that i was working 10 hour shifts.
I was on a bus with my girlfriend late one night taking her home and this gang got on.
Broke my nose, jaw, eye socket, ribs...
It was bad.
I got better, but was so angry about all this **** that was going on, i took it out on my parents and they kicked me out of home at 16.
That's when i went on a revenge trip.
Lost my ****, and tracked every single one of them down. Beat the crap out of all of them.
Now ive never had a problem since, but what i realised years later is that i had become the bully.
Its a cruel, evil, vindictive world out there and it will really **** you up if you don't get help asap.
I didn't, and im lucky im still here.
Now that i have my own kids, ive brought them up completely different to the way i was.
Taught them about defence, what to do, how to handle it.
Its definitely an issue that needs targeting.
Thanks for sharing. It is so very true that those bullied often find themselves repeating the cycle. I remember clearly the moment I realised I was doing to others what had been done to me and how mortified I felt
In terms of teaching your kids about defence, can you expand on that?0
This discussion has been closed.
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