Seasoned MFPers: Clues on how you know someone says they will change their lifestyle and MEAN it?!

cocates

I admit: I've been one of these 'on again, off again' MFPers over the years.

I log in and get motivation once I've gained back the weight I've lost. It helps. Until [insert excuse here].

I've written similar posts that say, 'I mean it; I'm done. I'm losing weight for good'. I'm sure we've all seen about 50,000 posts just like that.

So, from your experience, how can you tell that a particular person will do what they say / set out to do [ie: lose weight, exercise, be a forever food logger]? Are there any clues?


Thoughts?...

PeachyCarol

Answer this question... why are you fat?

IsaackGMOON

I know they meant it when they achieve it.

Need2Exerc1se

I think most everyone means it. Unfortunately having the desire and intent doesn't mean you will succeed. Honestly, I think a lot of people fail because they try to change their lifestyle too much. They try to become someone they are not or perhaps don't even want to be.

The question shouldn't be what is the secret others have used for sustained weight loss. It should be, what is going to work for me long term? Can I live with these changes forever?

snowflake954

Talk is cheap----just do it. Then you'll be a success.

stealthq

IsaackGMOON wrote: »

I know they meant it when they achieve it.

Yeah, pretty much.

People come on here with excuses and 'I'm a special snowflake' and still manage to turn themselves around. People come on here all serious and focused on personal accountability and still manage to not make their goal and maintain. Too many variables.

Pandapotato

The word "try" is a pretty big red flag. You don't have to TRY to lose weight, simply say you WILL lose weight if you're actually committed. (Also cant stand when people say they've "tried" everything. Diets aren't a pair of pants you put on and take off, you commit to them.)

enterdanger

I agree with steathq. I believe I read somewhere that only 10% of people who have significant weight loss keep it off.

My personal opinion is that a lot of us just suck at stress management. I know for me personally, I lose a bunch of weight and start gaining it back when life is kicking my *kitten*. I get stressed out and chocolate cake makes me feel better. I'm working on finding better ways to manage stress. I would also bet that we are more stressed than the generations that came before. I know life is more hectic for me than it was for my mom and my mom's life is way more hectic than my grandma's was. We also have more treats readily available. Obesity is a first world problem.

WBB55

Why do you ask? Do you want to know if THIS is the time you lose and it stays off?

Maybe once you get closer to goal, come back and ask how MFPers KEEP IT OFF. For me losing is easy. Keeping it off is the hard part. Losing is just math. Keeping it off is where the dedication comes in.

ShellyBell999

They don't quit,
even when they've gone astray,
they get up the next day and give it another go.

WakkoW

snowflake954 wrote: »

Talk is cheap----just do it. Then you'll be a success.

Exactly. Just do it. Research shows that talking about it and telling people your goals can be counter productive. Something about how getting praise for deciding to make a change rather than actually making a change.

It's best to keep quiet and let the results speak for themselves.

cocates

PeachyCarol wrote: »

Answer this question... why are you fat?

Because I eat and drink more calories than I should on a routine basis.

Now, it's your turn. Didn't your mom ever tell you it's not nice to ask a question with a question?

Need2Exerc1se

WakkoW wrote: »

snowflake954 wrote: »

Talk is cheap----just do it. Then you'll be a success.

Exactly. Just do it. Research shows that talking about it and telling people your goals can be counter productive. Something about how getting praise for deciding to make a change rather than actually making a change.

It's best to keep quiet and let the results speak for themselves.

Can you link the research to which you refer? I've heard the opposite.

cocates

Pandapotato wrote: »

The word "try" is a pretty big red flag. You don't have to TRY to lose weight, simply say you WILL lose weight if you're actually committed.

LOVE this!

cocates

stealthq wrote: »

IsaackGMOON wrote: »

I know they meant it when they achieve it.

Yeah, pretty much.

People come on here with excuses and 'I'm a special snowflake' and still manage to turn themselves around. People come on here all serious and focused on personal accountability and still manage to not make their goal and maintain. Too many variables.

Good points. Thank you.

cocates

WBB55 wrote: »

Why do you ask? Do you want to know if THIS is the time you lose and it stays off?

No, not really. I haven't really come to some sort of epiphany. Just curious for you all that have been on MFP for so long that dedicated your time and energy to so many others, if there are particular signs you see.

afatpersonwholikesfood

I don't worry about whether or not someone else means it or if they lose weight or not. If it's obvious that they are in distress, I will hope that they lose enough weight to have a positive impact on their health and keep it off, but if they don't, I don't necessarily think it's because they didn't have the intention to succeed - I think it's because keeping weight off, especially if you're starting in a particular weight class, is extraordinarily difficult even if the methods are deceptively simple.

But I'm thinking you're more concerned about whether or not YOU really mean it this time. I don't know. I want to stay under a certain weight for good, and I'm pretty confident I will continue to lose for some time, but will I be right back where I started a few years from now? Past experience tells me it's pretty likely. I continue on anyway. My intentions are to continue logging and weighing for the rest of my life, up on the scales or down. I have never said this time is for good; I have only said to those I am closest to that I am hoping it is the time where I don't completely give up at some future point. I've also been looking into OA for the first time, but I'm not so sure about their methodologies and philosophies.

I'm not a seasoned MFPer, but I have been counting calories in some form as a method of weight loss since I was a preteen.

cocates

ShellyBell999 wrote: »

They don't quit, even when they've gone astray, they get up the next day and give it another go.

Good point.

cocates

WakkoW wrote: »

snowflake954 wrote: »

Talk is cheap----just do it. Then you'll be a success.

Exactly. Just do it. Research shows that talking about it and telling people your goals can be counter productive. Something about how getting praise for deciding to make a change rather than actually making a change.

It's best to keep quiet and let the results speak for themselves.

I haven't read that research, but I can see how it can be truth for some. Thanks for sharing.

jennifer_417

I usually can just sort of intuitively tell if someone's actually ready or not. One dead giveaway phrase of someone not being ready is (usually) something like, "I hope it works this time!"

Also, the more someone says, "I really mean it this time!" the less likely they really do. When they are really truly ready, they just knuckle down and do it.

ASKyle

Believe it when I see it!

And the comment about telling people your goals being counterproductive is spot on.