Seasoned MFPers: Clues on how you know someone says they will change their lifestyle and MEAN it?!

gilliebee63

Kalikel wrote: »

So many people complain about falling off the wagon, blah, blah. There is no wagon. There is each and every day, and I must wake up and try to make myself and my life better. If I have a bad day, I need to pick up right where I left off the next day and wallow in pity. If I fail multiple days in a row, I need to be analyzing why I'm failing to hit my goals and implement a plan for handling similar problems in the future.

A lot of it is a passive mindset versus and active one. So many people see it as things happening to them; I see it as things that I am doing wrong (or right).

This is brilliant.

MelodyandBarbells

preeJAY wrote: »

Hence why so many people can sit motionless in front of the tv for hours on end, watching trashy reality shows ;D If we can make our weight-maintaining routine as mindless as that, then we will be able to do it practically forever.

Need more information on mindless weight loss, please. Logging my calories is pretty straight forward for me, but getting regular exercise and preparing the food - that takes some real intent, planning and hard work, in my case

MelodyandBarbells

To the original question, hmm... I don't know. If you want to limit your question to just success on MFP, I suppose that's one thing. Just because someone gave MFP a try and never showed back up on my newsfeed, I can't really assume they have been unsuccessful at weight loss. Maybe they've gone on somewhere else or have used some other method to get it done

I've seen people fluctuate up and down and never quite get it, maybe even leave MFP for a few months, and then suddenly start dropping huge numbers on my newsfeed. I can think of a couple that explicitly said they didn't like calorie counting. This group posts regular exercise logs, which is an accomplishment in and of itself to exercise regularly. As far as scale losses, I do not know

Another group that worries me a little are those jumping on one plan or the other, or really, just chasing the woo. As I've said, being at a sustained deficit is damned hard work, and going on one plan vs the other isn't necessarily going to change that. Again, no crystal ball here, but if some random plan is the user's expectation and they're not picking it up because it aligns better with their lifestyle, I worry about their potential success. When I say lifestyle for example I mean, a user deciding to pick up intermittent fasting because they don't like breakfast anyway. Okay, that sounds like a good fit to me, as far as helping them be at a sustained deficit. On the other hand, doing the same because you'll supposedly burn fat faster or some such, well :ohwell:

snowflake954

I'm the one that said "stop talking" and just do it. I still think that's the most important, but the people I see that stay successful with weight loss--outside MFP too, have gotten themselves "into it". They LIKE eating right and exercising. There's a sort of mindset. They ask questions, are ready to try new things to see if they'll work for them, don't get insulted by critisism, roll with the punches, and just keep truckin'. THOSE are the people that are moving on. When someone says "I hate exercising" or "How many cheat meals can I have a week"? I just don't think they'll make it to their goal. Another truth pointed out is that we just don't know how many reach their goals. You can follow progress on your FL, but so many disappear, successful and not, so we have no real numbers here.

Machka9

snowflake954 wrote: »

I'm the one that said "stop talking" and just do it. I still think that's the most important, but the people I see that stay successful with weight loss--outside MFP too, have gotten themselves "into it". They LIKE eating right and exercising. There's a sort of mindset. They ask questions, are ready to try new things to see if they'll work for them, don't get insulted by critisism, roll with the punches, and just keep truckin'. THOSE are the people that are moving on.

Yeah ... I've noticed the same thing.

---

And as for me ...

I love exercising. I'm climbing walls if there happens to be a day where I just can't fit it in.

I also don't mind eating right. For the most part, I was raised on a fairly decent diet, I've taken fitness and nutrition courses, and generally speaking my husband and I ate a reasonably healthy diet ... just slightly too much of it in recent years.

In fact, when I started with MFP last February, one of the things I enjoyed doing was spending time browsing in the grocery store to find delicious food that would fit within my calorie limit. It was kind of a challenge, and really paid off because I'm finding that our meals are more varied than they were before, and equally as good or better tasting.

I'm not depriving myself .. just making some smarter choices which are easy to live with.

MelodyandBarbells

^^ Ah, yup. I'd have to agree with that theory. If you're already used to mostly home cooked meals, and haven't developed a liking for a diet that's mostly fast food and restaurant meals, then once you decide on a sensible and sustainable (for you) calorie restriction plan, it'll just be a matter of tweaking those meals to get a lower calorie outcome

cocates

ManiacalLaugh wrote: »

I had so many late nights when I'd lay awake after deciding "I'm going to do it this time! I'm going eat (such and such), workout every day, get up early...!" etc. I'd hype myself up, end up staying awake for too long, and wake up late the next day, wanting to reach for the first thing in the kitchen because (such and such) was too inconvenient and I was too tired and hungry. I actually began my longest success when I, one random day, just decided I wasn't going to eat as much as I had been. No pronouncement, no hyped-up planning session with unreasonable expectations, just not eating as much.

I think a lot of new users and people new to losing weight start out using motivation as a crutch for success. But relying on the excitement of motivation is relying on an emotional high. Emotional highs are fickle things. That's the funny thing about any commitment (love, losing weight, our jobs, etc.). Sometimes we just don't want to do it anymore - that's where commitment comes in because we just keep doing it anyway.

So - I see all these threads like "Motivate me!", "Let's Motivate Each Other!", "I'm Excited! Let's Do This!" and, though I genuinely hope they do well, I get the impression they're going to quickly fall off the wagon. Chances are, we're seeing a moment in their lives when they're feeling the high, but if they kick-start on that high, IMO, they're going to be likely to fail once it disappears.

On the other hand, I feel as though posters who are posting with questions indicating they genuinely want help is a sign they might be ready for a long-term effort. People who ask questions, accept advice and criticisms regarding what they're doing - those are signs that the person really wants to learn, and if they're putting in the effort to become educated, then it's a better indication they're serious.

Thank you. This is quite insightful. I appreciate you sharing your story. I guess I feel somewhat in that same place.

cocates

PeachyCarol wrote: »

cocates wrote: »

PeachyCarol wrote: »

cocates wrote: »

PeachyCarol wrote: »

Answer this question... why are you fat?

Because I eat and drink more calories than I should on a routine basis.

Now, it's your turn. Didn't your mom ever tell you it's not nice to ask a question with a question?

Well, there's a lot of excuse making people who aren't ready to lose weight engage in.

That's just the first in a long line of questions. Generally, I can tell the people in my feed who just get down to business and do it, though. However, on the forums? There are a lot of tells, and if a lot of us more seasoned members got together, we could probably come up with a questionnaire that might come close to being predictive.

Next question: why do you eat and drink more calories than you need on a routine basis?

I stopped making excuses and started being accountable about 3 do-overs ago.
I like food and drink. No matter how you slice it, I enjoy eating and drinking. It tastes good. It comforts me. It it makes me happy. Then, it makes me aggravated and feel like a failure once I'm stuffed and tired. It's like an instant gratification. Fighting that urge is difficult and seems like Mt Everest to overcome. Does that make sense?

Yes, it does make sense, so it sounds like you still have some digging and work to do. I used to tie food to my emotions too.

It took me some really deep thinking to realize that I was afraid of my emotions and a lot of digging into the past to realize why that was. It wasn't until I unraveled all of that that I was finally ready to really do this for good.

I'm in charge of my emotions, no longer afraid of my feelings, and don't feel the need to turn to food to feel or to numb feeling. I enjoy food, but it's not tied into my emotions any more.

I know this is sort of vague, but individual situations will vary.

I will take this opportunity to say that it's deep down reasons like this which get me annoyed with simplistic one-size fits all explanations for overeating. Emotional reasons are far too often overlooked, and they're quite common, at least among the women I know. They are also far more difficult to get to the root of and conquer, and they are quite challenging.

I wish anyone dealing with them the best.

Thank you. I consider myself an emotionally stable person. Never really considered eating as an emotional issue. Perhaps it is the way I deal with stress. I hold myself accountable for my actions. I'm not into fad diets (although eating less simple carbs seem to help me lose weight faster), I don't buy into the magical supplement that will shred weight instantly. I like to look at things from a scientific perspective on most topics. Heck, in my 'prime', I went to the gym 4 days/week and had a 4 pack - I wasn't always overweight. But then again, I wasn't always watching hours of tv, eating as much, etc. Thanks for digging deeper...and to think I thought you were just being a smarty pants with your first question.

Patttience

Its a silly question. What does it matter what each of us thinks about what someone we don't know is saying. What matters is what you think about what you are doing.

I think your problem is a lack of commitment and probably a better plan. The one you've been doing doens't seem to work if you keep yo yo ing.

cocates

Patttience wrote: »

Its a silly question. What does it matter what each of us thinks about what someone we don't know is saying. What matters is what you think about what you are doing.

I think your problem is a lack of commitment and probably a better plan. The one you've been doing doens't seem to work if you keep yo yo ing.

I guess I asked the question because I was hoping to gain insight on your experience here. Thinking perhaps that would trigger me to take a deeper look on if I do those things or not. And if I do those things, why and how to change them to be successful.

I agree with you. I think I do have a lack of commitment, but with a little bit of impatience thrown into the mix.

kommodevaran

cocates wrote: »

Patttience wrote: »

Its a silly question. What does it matter what each of us thinks about what someone we don't know is saying. What matters is what you think about what you are doing.

I think your problem is a lack of commitment and probably a better plan. The one you've been doing doens't seem to work if you keep yo yo ing.

I guess I asked the question because I was hoping to gain insight on your experience here. Thinking perhaps that would trigger me to take a deeper look on if I do those things or not. And if I do those things, why and how to change them to be successful.

I agree with you. I think I do have a lack of commitment, but with a little bit of impatience thrown into the mix.

Is it wrong to be curious? I think is is an interesting question. It may help understand ourselves better, and maybe prevent some frustration over not being able to help others who really aren't ready for change.