Seasoned MFPers: Clues on how you know someone says they will change their lifestyle and MEAN it?!
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Might be an unpopular opinion, but talk of 'cheat days' is usually a strong indicator of non-seriousness.0
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Yes. College. It reminded me of when I was in college and some people didn't have to work at all to succeed. Same thing with dieting. It looks so easy for some people. Why do I have to work so hard?
Weight loss is easy for me. However, I also work really hard at it...and am dedicated to it. That is what makes it easy.
Nope. Sorry. Not buying it. If weight loss was easy for you, you would never have gotten overweight. Becoming overweight is easy.0 -
Not only do I not know if someone means it when they say they're going to change their lifestyle....I really don't care. I have my own *kitten* to worry about. I can't waste time fretting over whether member xyz means what they're saying.0
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thatWhen the person realizes that _they_ are the reason they're fat.
Not blaming it on medicine, or their spouse who likes to eat, or a hormone problem.
The only reason people gain weight is because someone eats more than they burn.
Period.
When someone admits that to him/herself, they will be successful at losing weight. (If that's what they want.)
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Am I making it hard for you? I doubt it. It's those other factors that sometimes get in the way that make it hard. Not just for you but for everybody. And I'd say you're making quite a leap to say that I'm not putting the hard work in.Yes. College. It reminded me of when I was in college and some people didn't have to work at all to succeed. Same thing with dieting. It looks so easy for some people. Why do I have to work so hard?
Weight loss is easy for me. However, I also work really hard at it...and am dedicated to it. That is what makes it easy.
Nope. Sorry. Not buying it. It weight loss was easy for you you would never have gotten overweight. Becoming overweight is easy.
I don't really care what you buy or not. Losing weight is easy for me. Gaining weight is also easy. I stopped putting the hard work I referenced above into it. When I do the work....I lose the weight, like clockwork. It's easy. It's simple. It doesn't mean I always did the easy and simple since other factors sometimes get in the way of the easy and simple. But if you having to make it hard for me to explain your not putting the hard work in, that's cool. Whatever you gotta do.
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Well good for you. You sound very proud of yourself and you should be. And thanks for your empathy. I'll struggle on. Sigh.
Edit: I do think it's harder for some people than it is for me. I do put work into it and it rubs me wrong when you dismiss my comments as complaints and excuses.0 -
Another thing: "I need friends to support me!" Support is wonderful to give and receive and I believe it's really helpful. Very pro on support. It's the "need" part.
Support is the icing on the cake, not the cake. If you actually need other people to "keep me motivated," that's a problem. Motivation can't be received, borrowed, bought or stolen. It has to come from within. If you're not motivated, you won't succeed. That goes for everything.
Support is wonderful, but don't count on that.
I think that's why posts saying, "I need friends to keep me motivated!" get the fewest responses. Everyone is pretty sure that person is not serious and that they destined to fail and nobody wants to be involved with it. Or maybe everyone has too many friends on their list and doesn't want another, lol. I dunno.
This is spot on. You have to be internally motivated to succeed in this process.
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PeachyCarol wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »Talk is cheap----just do it. Then you'll be a success.
Exactly. Just do it. Research shows that talking about it and telling people your goals can be counter productive. Something about how getting praise for deciding to make a change rather than actually making a change.
It's best to keep quiet and let the results speak for themselves.
Can you link the research to which you refer? I've heard the opposite.
There's a TED talk on it: http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself?language=en
It was discussed on a podcast I listen to, but I haven't actually listened, so have no opinion.
(I do find that telling people my goals generally doesn't help me. Making them concrete to myself does.)
I'm different with fitness goals. I'm okay discussing them. I've been more close-lipped about weight. I think it's because my fitness stuff is tied into my medical conditions/limitations somewhat.
I'm ok with talking about them, ie having everyday-type conversations. I think it's the people that get up and shout, 'LOOK WHAT IMMA DO ERRBODY!' that are less likely to succeed.
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I think those with "the buck stops here" mentality who haven't changed their environment and the foods they eat to make it as easy and effortless as possible to not gain weight have a much harder time of it in the long run.0
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How much work have they put in before posting the very first comment or question in this section? If they have done the work to research, they are not going to ask the same questions we see here almost daily nor are they going to complain about not losing before they have tightened up their logging issues. They have realistic expectations and they aren't looking for the "magic", just details on how to eat less and/or move more?0
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Pandapotato wrote: »The word "try" is a pretty big red flag. You don't have to TRY to lose weight, simply say you WILL lose weight if you're actually committed. (Also cant stand when people say they've "tried" everything. Diets aren't a pair of pants you put on and take off, you commit to them.)
^^^^This I LIKE.....the one's that fail are often in this mindset that they are doing the 'lifestyle change' and it's temporary....it isn't....it's forever and I think that for many that foreverness is daunting and overwhelming.
The glory of losing the weight fades into the just the daily grind of maintenance....people glorify being motivated like some pimped out fad diet guru....We readily buy into the scams of doing X for X amount of weeks losing X amount of weight and then what.....????
Then comes patience, persistence and daily commitment to the new you.
Whatever you do eating wise and exercise wise it has to be long-term ie life time sustainable, achievable and enjoyable....You also have to be able to be flexible. Your needs and desires change over time and as you age, you may face injury, life stresses and huge upheaval.
Lots of us here struggle with health problems that would make many cringe but that hasn't become an excuse to fail.....rather it has become a reason to shine, rise above the situation and be very bloody inventive particularly where exercise is concerned. All of these life events have to be dealt with without resorting to making them your next excuse as to why you failed and regained all, if not more weight.
Everyone bar non who is successful on MFP has found their way....they have either dealt with their demons beforehand, make a point to deal with said demons whenever they pop up (never using them as reasons to back away from their weight goals) and they do whatever they need to do to reach their goals and they do it EVERY SINGLE DAY.....does it get boring? Yeah sometimes. Is it hard? For sure....but none of them give up.
I see a very Amercian expression here often and it applies to all that are successful and you spot them a mile off and you know that they have "Got This".
You can too.
All the best.
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UltimateRBF wrote: »Well good for you. You sound very proud of yourself and you should be. And thanks for your empathy. I'll struggle on. Sigh.
Edit: I do think it's harder for some people than it is for me. I do put work into it and it rubs me wrong when you dismiss my comments as complaints and excuses.
This....isn't all about you.
Or about how easy it is.0 -
afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »Wait, are we talking about success in terms of losing weight or maintaining that weight years (5-10) out? Losing weight, to me, isn't how success is defined - though it is still a hard won accomplishment. Just wondering based on some of the comments.
I'm talking about both.
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AlabasterVerve wrote: »I think those with "the buck stops here" mentality who haven't changed their environment and the foods they eat to make it as easy and effortless as possible to not gain weight have a much harder time of it in the long run.
I think the exact opposite. I live in a big, wide world that isn't going to change to accommodate me. I need to learn to deal with it. So does every other person with issues with food.
While you can control your own environment, you can't control the world around you. I didn't need to change the foods I ate at all. The effort I needed to make was in changing how much of those foods I ate. I needed to learn to eat an amount that was appropriate for my age and the size I want to be. Super simple.
I changed, not the food.
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I was talking about both too.
You need to lose the weight before you can maintain the loss, after all.0
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