WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2015

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  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,713 Member
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    morning peeps-


    megblair- yeayyyyyyyy for your loss!!!!!

    jmkmomm - hopu u feel better

    cynthiat60 - HIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    grandmallie - when he said that he was going on his walk, i would have said, ok hun, i'll just put him in your room til you come back and we can take care of him together. have a good walk snookums! :0) kisses!!!!!!!!

    well tomorrow is my followup visit with the doc, we will c how it goes. I weighed myself this morning and I haven't gained anything which is a plus, actually, i'm still below my goal weight. i'm a lb lower than my profile settings I just don't bother to move/update it, no big.

    type to ya later
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 18,372 Member
    edited October 2015
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    My flowers made it home in one piece lol

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    GMAllie That sounds terrible. Thank goodness we don't have skunks here.

    Brenda Posting here definitely works, especially if you can pre-log and factor in some treats. Stops you feeling deprived. Keep coming back for positive support. You are worth the effort.

    Pip it's good that you didn't put on any weight after surgery. Hope all goes well tomorrow.

    (((Hugs))) if you need them. :heart:

    I have read everything up to date, but have to go make dinner early as we are off out at 7pm for our wine-tasting. It's all go today

    Irish Terri


  • DamitJanit
    DamitJanit Posts: 1,329 Member
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    Mia, I have to disagree with one thing you told Allison about Tom. You said the man "seems to have zero awareness" but I think he is very aware. I think he is being a jerk on purpose to see just how much she will take. But that is just MHO. I just want Allison to be treated the way way she deserves.

    Love you all,
    Janet
    Myrtle Beach, SC
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,093 Member
    edited October 2015
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    Irish Terri gorgeous.

    Mia love your advice about putting on your mask of good self care before helping someone else. That is what I have been doing this week. I am working at staying clam and letting others take care of themselves. I do need to move more because I am having pound creep as a result of not moving enough.

    Pip great advice to Allison to put the dog in a place like a bathroom and clean up the mess together. I would like to see his face at that suggestion.

    Alison : Janet agree with you too. Someone else said he is pushing you to leave so you are the bad guy. He may also be doing it for financial reasons. He may have more to gain if you walk away from the relationship. Mary also gave you great advice to consult a lawyer to find out your rights. The red flags keep coming Alison. Protect yourself. His character from what you describe here is not in your best interests. It does sound like he can turn on a dime and be quite charming, but YOU CANNOT TRUST HIM. BIGGEST RED FLAG OF ALL.

    I have started when someone asks for something rather than jump up right away. I do it when it is convenient for me. I also now explain to them where to find it. My DSIL said isn't it easy to just get it for them. Short term yes long term no because they just learn to expect me to go and get it. I also try to delegate when I can. This is part of how I am taking care of me.

    :heart: MNMargaret
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,804 Member
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    thanks for all the love you guys.. like i have back-up all over the place...
    I will say something to him tonight when he gets home,he could have quickly shut the door and just kept him contained to the family room, and taking off for a walk and leaving me to take care of it all was just damn rude.. and I will tell him that...
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    Morning ladies! Had a hard time sleeping last night. I am probably excited about getting ready for our trip. Today I am washing bedding, clothes and packing. We will be packing our cartoon night because we have to leave at 4:30 tomorrow morning. My DH has a meeting two hours from home. We will leave after that meeting around noon.

    Have a great day everyone!

    Mary from Minnesota
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,713 Member
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    .
  • Sunnygirl_2015
    Sunnygirl_2015 Posts: 184 Member
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    Katla49 wrote: »
    Thanks to everyone for your kind words regarding my daughter's loss. NC Carol, you have zeroed in perfectly on how I feel, helpless to help her. I am delighted with her two children and love them dearly. I would have loved this one too, but I was worried about DD's health from the start. She nearly died in childbirth with DGD. The birth of DGS was much easier and both came home from the hospital in good health. I hope she will be able to get healthy and try again later if that is her heart's desire. I had two, a boy and girl, and thought it was perfect. She has two, a girl and boy and I think that is perfect, too. I have room in my heart for another but am most concerned about DD's health. Miakoda, I know this is how DD is feeling right now, "A child has been lost and so many dreams for what the future might be have been dashed." Perhaps she will give herself time to recover and try again. We'll wait and see. I offered to come and be with her, but she said no for now. She and DSIL need to have some time together. I'll go if she needs me.

    I backed out of spin/zumba today so my neighbor will be going on her own. I'm just not up to it today.

    We sent our ceiling fan off for repair about a week ago. It quit after only 19 years of continuous service. :laugh: They sent us a new motor for the price of repair, and today we will try to hang it back up in the bedroom. I recommend Casa Blanca fans to those who like ceiling fans. They stand behind a good product. :bigsmile:


    Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

    “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison

    October Goals :
    1. Log every bite and swallow.
    2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on flexibility and back strength.
    3. Have fun every day.
    4. Drink at least three glasses of water daily, preferably more!
    5. Eliminate alcohol.
    6. Monitor sleep. Try to average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.

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    I wonder if you could talk about how she almost died in child birth with her other child? What where her complications? My neice is due next month with her first baby that is why I ask.

    <3 Rosie
  • mytwodarlings
    mytwodarlings Posts: 8 Member
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    Glad to have found this board...I'm 55 and slowly reaching my goal...some ups and some downs...more downs than ups, but I'm not quitting.
  • terri_mom
    terri_mom Posts: 748 Member
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    Since so many ladies seem to be on the "Tom-bashing" bandwagon, I will put in my 2 cents. Based on my personal experience, he already has a replacement, and plans for his future with "her" (in the process with my ex it was a "him", but that isn't the point). He is hard-working, and working hard on the house, because he intends to keep it. He is rude, mean, and vindictive so that Allison walks out of this, and hopefully will be so tired of the fight that she will leave with nothing. Personally, whether you want to save this relationship or not, I feel it is time to treat him the way he treats you, not the way you want to be treated. That ship has sailed a LONG time ago. Does he offer to take you out for supper after a long day? Or expect you to cook for him regardless? Does he help with the laundry? Housecleaning? upkeep of the animals? Nothing alive should suffer (keep visiting and helping DFiL), but do what it takes to take care of you, and stop doing anything productive for him. You already tried "kill him with kindness", and it got nowhere, because he checked out of this relationship a long time ago.

    That said, I'm sure everyone hates me for saying all of it, but it is my opinion, based on the "cr@p I tolerated from current and past husbands, and the current one now knows his place. But short of putting on a tiara, I have my doubts that Tom will ever "get it". As I have said in the past, Allison, I just want to wrap my arms around you and hold you until it is all better. You deserve to be treated like the goddess that you are.

    The next big question is: How long will I look at this? How many times will I re-read it? before I get up the guts to hit "post reply"? My true wish is that everything I typed is completely wrong, and the man just needs a good dose of Prozac in hopes of his unhappiness getting turned around, and that he can find a good, happy compromise in life and love.

    Please, even if divorce is NOT the answer, get an attorney on retainer, just to be prepared. It does not mean you have decided on failure, it is just preparedness and protection of you !

    (((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    Terri - well said!
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,804 Member
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    thanks Terri ,
    right now I am completely exsausted... I am close to a breaking point,but will not leave this home.. if he wants me out then he will have to file.. I will be speaking to him tonight, after he is fed.. better that way.. I want to know where we stand and what will be going on future wise.. I am mentally spent...
    yes he does help with housework. does laundry when needed,he cleans the bathrooms,does all the handyman stuff.
    I will talk to a lawyer , no money for a retainer so will see if I can find one that does a free consultation.
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,093 Member
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    Alison you were woken up in the middle of the night to a mess. Before talking to Tom I would get a good night's sleep. There is a saying fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. You are not a fool from what you are telling us you know what you need to do to protect yourself just do it after a good night sleep. Trying to talk to Tom when you are exhausted makes you too vulnerable. Whatever needs to be said can wait a day. If something happens in the middle of the night tonight let Tom take care of it. Tell him he owes you one after you cleaned up last night's mess.
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,713 Member
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    .
  • janemartin02
    janemartin02 Posts: 2,653 Member
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    hugs to anyone who needs them
    hugs jane
  • Sunnygirl_2015
    Sunnygirl_2015 Posts: 184 Member
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    fanncy0626 wrote: »
    Terri - well said!

    I agree.

    Rosie
  • mollywhippet
    mollywhippet Posts: 1,890 Member
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    Just taking a break, checking for the pictures of the golden doodle. I'll check back later tonight.

    Meg, I only missed one day. Don't know why everyone worried, but it's very sweet.

    Sylvia
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,804 Member
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    Gee he asked why I'm exhausted, told him I'm mentally and physically spent,and he asked why..said one I've been running all day long everyday,and mentally because of what's been going on with us...that shut him up. :D .
  • jmkmomm
    jmkmomm Posts: 3,247 Member
    edited October 2015
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    Irish Terri, did you do that flower arrangement yourself? Looks nice

    Allison. first thing I would do would be to quit fixing his supper when you have so much to do. Maybe you need to take his laundry and put it in your trunk for awhile. I'm like the others, just want to wrap my arms around you. Maybe if all of us went there and told him what we thought of him and just had you in the middle.

    Charlie noticed the low tire llight on in the Escape last night. He couldn't figure out how to take it off after he took care of the tire. Apparently you have to tap on the brake, honk the horn and unclick every single tire in a particular order. His appetite gets better every day. Only thing that is really wrong now is the swelling. Called the hospital to pay for his first infusion bill and they had the second one ready to send out so I paid that also. It's been a bill paying day.

    Joyce, Indiana
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,713 Member
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    wowzers grandmallie

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