Significant other and their habits..Break up or Suck it up??
Kissimmee_Disney
Posts: 24 Member
Has anyone here had to deal with a significant other who just isn't "heading the same direction" I have become a vegetarian, trying to go vegan eventually.And my SO just keeps on eating meat.I have changed so much that just the thought of kissing someone who has chewed on meat kind of grosses me out.It has made me actually reconsider if this person should even be in my life.And let's not even mention the way the bathroom smells after they use it.(I am sorry if it sounds gross, but dead carcass coming out smells worse than going in! And my children are also vegetarian and the only time the home reeks is when the SO is here..15 years is what I have in the relationship, but after all this is my health and my life and I want someone who is at least CLOSE to heading my direction. And my SO generally likes "bigger" women which I am planning on NOT being ever again.Am I being too harsh or does anyone else have an opinion? Thanks ~~Kissimmee Disney~~~~ 
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Replies
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Eating meat is not a habit. You are being too harsh.0
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Sounds like you already made up your mind.
But dumping someone after 15 years (and possible kids) is a bit rough.0 -
I wouldn't break up my kids' home over pork chops. If you're at that point it seems like there's more to the story than food and size preferences.0
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I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately. Anyway, go for what you think is the best for your relationship. As for my husband, he may have things I hate. For example! Leaving the bathroom floors wet, snoring really loud at night, hoarding all three blankets in our bed, farts in the car without notifying me, and I can go on forever. However, I love him. All the good things he does outweighs everything else I hate.0
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Abby_C2014 wrote: »I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.
Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?0 -
I think a more mature person would know that just because you change yourself shouldn't mean your SO should be forced to change as well. I have chosen to become healthy and eat healthier but I am not going to force it onto my SO. I think if this is bothering you this much than there sure is way more than just this that is bothering you. Also if its not something else than meet him in the middle say hay if you want to eat meat that's up to you but please brush after you do so there is no after effect getting to you.0
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It's really unfair of you to expect your partner to make all of the same changes you are making. He is his own person, he's not obligated to change his life just because you've changed. What if he suddenly developed a moral aversion to something you've always done and consider normal? Would you think it fair for him suddenly be mad at you for not giving up that thing, just because he doesn't like anymore?0
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You should probably talk to a professional about this instead of coming on to a calorie tracking website to vent. This is a serious situation you have here, and no one here is qualified to give you advice that will affect the future of both yourself and your children.0
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JBU0
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No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong. I should tell him immediately and he will change it. He always says he just wants me to be happy, because he loves me a lot. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and it bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.Abby_C2014 wrote: »I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.
Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
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Abby_C2014 wrote: »
. No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong I do not like tell him immediately and he will change it. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.Abby_C2014 wrote: »I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.
Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
So your situation is actually not similar to the OP'S because your husband wants to change his eating habits and has delegated responsibility for managing that change to you.0 -
Kissimmee_Disney wrote: »Has anyone here had to deal with a significant other who just isn't "heading the same direction" I have become a vegetarian, trying to go vegan eventually.And my SO just keeps on eating meat.I have changed so much that just the thought of kissing someone who has chewed on meat kind of grosses me out.It has made me actually reconsider if this person should even be in my life.And let's not even mention the way the bathroom smells after they use it.(I am sorry if it sounds gross, but dead carcass coming out smells worse than going in! And my children are also vegetarian and the only time the home reeks is when the SO is here..15 years is what I have in the relationship, but after all this is my health and my life and I want someone who is at least CLOSE to heading my direction. And my SO generally likes "bigger" women which I am planning on NOT being ever again.Am I being too harsh or does anyone else have an opinion? Thanks ~~Kissimmee Disney~~~~
if i look at this post**juuuuust so** it almost resembles an actual real thing0 -
Well, I apologize but there is no need to attack me. I just want to offer my help as best as I can. People make mistakes and my apologies for misunderstanding the whole situation. You might not think you are being mean or anything but it is cool. I will move on to other thingsAbby_C2014 wrote: »
. No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong I do not like tell him immediately and he will change it. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.Abby_C2014 wrote: »I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.
Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
So your situation is actually not similar to the OP'S because your husband wants to change his eating habits and has delegated responsibility for managing that change to you.
Good day Jemhh ^_^ Peace is happiness ❤️
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Abby_C2014 wrote: »
Well, I apologize but there is no need to attack me. I just want to offer my help as best as I can. People make mistakes and my apologies for misunderstanding the whole situation.Abby_C2014 wrote: »
. No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong I do not like tell him immediately and he will change it. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.Abby_C2014 wrote: »I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.
Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
So your situation is actually not similar to the OP'S because your husband wants to change his eating habits and has delegated responsibility for managing that change to you.
Who's attacking anybody?0 -
If this is not a joke, you should hang on to that guy.0
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Nevermind ^_^ Have a great day!Abby_C2014 wrote: »
Well, I apologize but there is no need to attack me. I just want to offer my help as best as I can. People make mistakes and my apologies for misunderstanding the whole situation.Abby_C2014 wrote: »
. No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong I do not like tell him immediately and he will change it. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.Abby_C2014 wrote: »I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.
Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
So your situation is actually not similar to the OP'S because your husband wants to change his eating habits and has delegated responsibility for managing that change to you.
Who's attacking anybody?
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Im sorry, but if someone is even thinking about leaving a partner over something as minute as eating meat because of your lifestyle choice, I think you would be doing him a favor by leaving.0
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jennifer_417 wrote: »It's really unfair of you to expect your partner to make all of the same changes you are making. He is his own person, he's not obligated to change his life just because you've changed. What if he suddenly developed a moral aversion to something you've always done and consider normal? Would you think it fair for him suddenly be mad at you for not giving up that thing, just because he doesn't like anymore?
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Kissimmee_Disney wrote: »Has anyone here had to deal with a significant other who just isn't "heading the same direction" I have become a vegetarian, trying to go vegan eventually.And my SO just keeps on eating meat.I have changed so much that just the thought of kissing someone who has chewed on meat kind of grosses me out.It has made me actually reconsider if this person should even be in my life.And let's not even mention the way the bathroom smells after they use it.(I am sorry if it sounds gross, but dead carcass coming out smells worse than going in! And my children are also vegetarian and the only time the home reeks is when the SO is here..15 years is what I have in the relationship, but after all this is my health and my life and I want someone who is at least CLOSE to heading my direction. And my SO generally likes "bigger" women which I am planning on NOT being ever again.Am I being too harsh or does anyone else have an opinion? Thanks ~~Kissimmee Disney~~~~
You're being judgy and unfair in my opinion. You're not a vegan yet, but imagine if some vegan started talking all snotty about you and your odors and bathroom habits because you're still unwilling to give up animal byproducts.
Now imagine that person is your SO of 15 years. And then try imagining that your vegan SO made a post about you online behind your back about it, about how you gross him out.0 -
If being with him makes you unhappy for any reason, leave. Life is too short. JMO0
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So much hippy here.
Sounds like some deeper issues than just homeboy eats meats. Sober up woman... Holy ****!JeffBrown3 wrote: »Im sorry, but if someone is even thinking about leaving a partner over something as minute as eating meat because of your lifestyle choice, I think you would be doing him a favor by leaving.
Lololol no joke!!!!!
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So, if one of your kids decides they want to eat meat again, what do yo do? Look at them with disgust and kick them out to avoid stinking up the house?
If you have been with this person for 15 years, they deserve more respect than you are showing here.
Honestly, you sound like a stereotypical "new vegan" who decides that they are morally superior to all us omnivores, and therefore a better person. I know several vegans, some have been vegan for decades, before it was easy to find food options. They all seem to understand that their lifestyle is their own choice, and mine in my choice. They know I have no desire to be vegan, and guess what? They still treat me with respect.0 -
If you're marriage is at a state where you'd even consider leaving him for this, then I'd say you've made your choice. i feel sorry for the poor guy.0
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Literally eating a steak right now.0
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Apart from the food issue, are you guys good partners? Or are there other underlying problems? I'm just saying look at the guy from the broad perspective and weigh the good versus the bad. And he needs to make the same judgements of you.0
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This is very off putting... How can you be with someone for 15 years and decide to leave all because they don't follow the same diet as you? You need a reality check, tell your SO how you're feeling and I'm sure they'll give you one.0
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You don't need to be vegetarian to be healthy. You sure there isn't something else going on, underneath this?0
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Your expectations are way too high! You literally want his *kitten* to smell like roses? Poor guy.
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You need to discuss this with a therapist. Decision to leave a partner is not related to food or eating habits. It is very unlikely this has anything to do with what he eats or does not eat, even if it seems right now this way to you.0
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