Significant other and their habits..Break up or Suck it up??

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Kissimmee_Disney
Kissimmee_Disney Posts: 24 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Has anyone here had to deal with a significant other who just isn't "heading the same direction" I have become a vegetarian, trying to go vegan eventually.And my SO just keeps on eating meat.I have changed so much that just the thought of kissing someone who has chewed on meat kind of grosses me out.It has made me actually reconsider if this person should even be in my life.And let's not even mention the way the bathroom smells after they use it.(I am sorry if it sounds gross, but dead carcass coming out smells worse than going in! And my children are also vegetarian and the only time the home reeks is when the SO is here..15 years is what I have in the relationship, but after all this is my health and my life and I want someone who is at least CLOSE to heading my direction. And my SO generally likes "bigger" women which I am planning on NOT being ever again.Am I being too harsh or does anyone else have an opinion? Thanks ~~Kissimmee Disney~~~~ <3
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Replies

  • Nuke_64
    Nuke_64 Posts: 406 Member
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    Eating meat is not a habit. You are being too harsh.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,395 MFP Moderator
    edited October 2015
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    Sounds like you already made up your mind.

    But dumping someone after 15 years (and possible kids) is a bit rough.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    I wouldn't break up my kids' home over pork chops. If you're at that point it seems like there's more to the story than food and size preferences.
  • Abby_C2014
    Abby_C2014 Posts: 86 Member
    edited October 2015
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    I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately. Anyway, go for what you think is the best for your relationship. As for my husband, he may have things I hate. For example! Leaving the bathroom floors wet, snoring really loud at night, hoarding all three blankets in our bed, farts in the car without notifying me, and I can go on forever. However, I love him. All the good things he does outweighs everything else I hate.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.

    Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
  • prettyleelee
    prettyleelee Posts: 236 Member
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    I think a more mature person would know that just because you change yourself shouldn't mean your SO should be forced to change as well. I have chosen to become healthy and eat healthier but I am not going to force it onto my SO. I think if this is bothering you this much than there sure is way more than just this that is bothering you. Also if its not something else than meet him in the middle say hay if you want to eat meat that's up to you but please brush after you do so there is no after effect getting to you.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    It's really unfair of you to expect your partner to make all of the same changes you are making. He is his own person, he's not obligated to change his life just because you've changed. What if he suddenly developed a moral aversion to something you've always done and consider normal? Would you think it fair for him suddenly be mad at you for not giving up that thing, just because he doesn't like anymore?
  • BrickFox
    BrickFox Posts: 61 Member
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    You should probably talk to a professional about this instead of coming on to a calorie tracking website to vent. This is a serious situation you have here, and no one here is qualified to give you advice that will affect the future of both yourself and your children.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    JBU
  • Abby_C2014
    Abby_C2014 Posts: 86 Member
    edited October 2015
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    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.

    Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
    No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong. I should tell him immediately and he will change it. He always says he just wants me to be happy, because he loves me a lot. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and it bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.

    Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
    . No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong I do not like tell him immediately and he will change it. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.

    So your situation is actually not similar to the OP'S because your husband wants to change his eating habits and has delegated responsibility for managing that change to you.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    edited October 2015
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    Kissimmee_Disney wrote: »
    Has anyone here had to deal with a significant other who just isn't "heading the same direction" I have become a vegetarian, trying to go vegan eventually.And my SO just keeps on eating meat.I have changed so much that just the thought of kissing someone who has chewed on meat kind of grosses me out.It has made me actually reconsider if this person should even be in my life.And let's not even mention the way the bathroom smells after they use it.(I am sorry if it sounds gross, but dead carcass coming out smells worse than going in! And my children are also vegetarian and the only time the home reeks is when the SO is here..15 years is what I have in the relationship, but after all this is my health and my life and I want someone who is at least CLOSE to heading my direction. And my SO generally likes "bigger" women which I am planning on NOT being ever again.Am I being too harsh or does anyone else have an opinion? Thanks ~~Kissimmee Disney~~~~ <3

    if i look at this post**juuuuust so** it almost resembles an actual real thing
  • Abby_C2014
    Abby_C2014 Posts: 86 Member
    edited October 2015
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    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.

    Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
    . No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong I do not like tell him immediately and he will change it. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.

    So your situation is actually not similar to the OP'S because your husband wants to change his eating habits and has delegated responsibility for managing that change to you.
    Well, I apologize but there is no need to attack me. I just want to offer my help as best as I can. People make mistakes and my apologies for misunderstanding the whole situation. You might not think you are being mean or anything but it is cool. I will move on to other things :) Good day Jemhh ^_^ Peace is happiness ❤️

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.

    Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
    . No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong I do not like tell him immediately and he will change it. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.

    So your situation is actually not similar to the OP'S because your husband wants to change his eating habits and has delegated responsibility for managing that change to you.
    Well, I apologize but there is no need to attack me. I just want to offer my help as best as I can. People make mistakes and my apologies for misunderstanding the whole situation.

    Who's attacking anybody?
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    If this is not a joke, you should hang on to that guy.
  • Abby_C2014
    Abby_C2014 Posts: 86 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately.

    Am I misunderstanding this? If your husband eats something off plan you lecture him until he agrees he did something wrong?
    . No, I do not lecture him nonstop. He told me first handedly to tell him that if he does something wrong I do not like tell him immediately and he will change it. I just did what he tells me. If he didn't told me those, I wouldn't have open up. I am usually quite and bothers him that I do not speak my mind to him.

    So your situation is actually not similar to the OP'S because your husband wants to change his eating habits and has delegated responsibility for managing that change to you.
    Well, I apologize but there is no need to attack me. I just want to offer my help as best as I can. People make mistakes and my apologies for misunderstanding the whole situation.

    Who's attacking anybody?
    Nevermind ^_^ Have a great day!

  • JeffBrown3
    JeffBrown3 Posts: 161 Member
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    Im sorry, but if someone is even thinking about leaving a partner over something as minute as eating meat because of your lifestyle choice, I think you would be doing him a favor by leaving.
  • oh_happy_day
    oh_happy_day Posts: 1,138 Member
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    jennifer_417 wrote: »
    It's really unfair of you to expect your partner to make all of the same changes you are making. He is his own person, he's not obligated to change his life just because you've changed. What if he suddenly developed a moral aversion to something you've always done and consider normal? Would you think it fair for him suddenly be mad at you for not giving up that thing, just because he doesn't like anymore?

    +1
  • Lourdesong
    Lourdesong Posts: 1,492 Member
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    Kissimmee_Disney wrote: »
    Has anyone here had to deal with a significant other who just isn't "heading the same direction" I have become a vegetarian, trying to go vegan eventually.And my SO just keeps on eating meat.I have changed so much that just the thought of kissing someone who has chewed on meat kind of grosses me out.It has made me actually reconsider if this person should even be in my life.And let's not even mention the way the bathroom smells after they use it.(I am sorry if it sounds gross, but dead carcass coming out smells worse than going in! And my children are also vegetarian and the only time the home reeks is when the SO is here..15 years is what I have in the relationship, but after all this is my health and my life and I want someone who is at least CLOSE to heading my direction. And my SO generally likes "bigger" women which I am planning on NOT being ever again.Am I being too harsh or does anyone else have an opinion? Thanks ~~Kissimmee Disney~~~~ <3

    You're being judgy and unfair in my opinion. You're not a vegan yet, but imagine if some vegan started talking all snotty about you and your odors and bathroom habits because you're still unwilling to give up animal byproducts.

    Now imagine that person is your SO of 15 years. And then try imagining that your vegan SO made a post about you online behind your back about it, about how you gross him out.
  • jenswan70
    jenswan70 Posts: 40 Member
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    If being with him makes you unhappy for any reason, leave. Life is too short. JMO

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