Article of a Women's Journey With Anorexia and Orthorexia that Almost Killed Her
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cushman5279 wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »Agreed Kalikel. Not sharing food is only a problem if you have deep anxiety about it. Again, all the lines come down to it being disordered thinking that makes it a problem.
Some people think calorie counting is disordered, but it's how the person behaves around the counting that determines if it's disordered or not, you know?
If it weren't food and/or exercise, the people suffering from these disorders would likely exhibit control/obsession over another area of their lives.
I don't see any problem with exhibiting control/obsession. I know plenty of people, myself included, who are control freaks or display obsession. I call it passion and I call it a good personality trait. Being competitive, being controlled and being obsessed as well as passionate, disciplined and dedicated has never failed to get me everything I want out of life and more. Obviously those traits are going to cross into anything one partakes in whether it's a competitive sport (training), proper nutrition, career, finances, etc...
You don't see any problem with people who have an obsession to such an extent that they have an eating or exercise disorder? Orthorexia is not something to aspire to. I know you said you defined yourself this way and then you went to describe basically how awesome it is. It isn't. I'll leave you with the thought that I hope you get some help from a professional.
+2, especially to the bolded.0 -
Im beginning to worry if Im running into the problems mentioned in the initial post. I hide dieting from everyone. I am excessively fighting should I eat this or that..then walk away not
eating either because of an ingredient isn't needed in a food choice. I will stare at foods on my plate and decide the portion because of the placement then turn my plate look again go into the kitchen and wait to see if I should eat it because part of it looks flawed. I make excuses that some foods are under/over cooked because the form is unappealing.
Im happy to share foods and will wait purposely when others are done eating because it looks unappealing. I find it easier to stay in the kitchen..create dinners let everyone get what they want and then make a plate up for myself. Stay in the kitchen not touching the food or plate and wait for others to be finished so I can say hey...there are leftovers here..and start dishes skip dinner. The more I find playing games with food the better off I am. I dont enjoy food at all. I force myself to try and eat because it looks unappealing.
When I eat..Its foods closest to its original form. I think others who eat manufactured foods are doing themselves wrong and they are not getting nutrition from boxed foods. It makes me sad to see the ones I love destroying themselves.
Im critical about my body. I look at my legs constantly knowing I would be able to get a thigh gap because of the bone shape. I have done it before and was amazed at the look. Ive gone through my closet pulling clothes and wondering if I eat so much less I will be needing new clothes because the ones sitting there are from another point in my life.
Then there are days when I dont think about any of it. Then tell myself your too old to have these issues. Your in midlife. My thinking is wrong. Enjoy food eat what fulfills your body. Or that maybe its because you have nothing better to focus on. We are empty nesters who moved half way across the country...dont have to work and have nothing better to do.
Its a battle that bring back a time when I did become anorexic 10 years ago. When I strived for perfection. While doing so I always ended up with iv fluids because I never drank enough because if you dont eat after so long you lose the urge to drink.
Food color and the way its cooked or who created a meal or if they used clean hands always runs in my mind.
I am no way near anorexic as for weight. Im 5'5 and 158. But I can say dieting and counting calories can lead to an eating disorder. When it starts getting picky about whats right and wrong food choices. After you become bored with counting calories but still do every morsel.. After you start watching macros and meet them. Whats next? What can I perfect?
Its almost the same disorder as overeating. but in a different form. Been there too.
No negative comments please. No comments
needing therapist because its an easy answer for you. Im writing this as my experience only.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »^ This is part of why I am not exercising yet this time around. People on here might call me lazy, although I am sick as well, but even with not being sick... I would call me careful. I worked out for 2hrs per day making myself sickly exhausted when I was in my 3rd term of my second pregnancy. I cried because I was hungry after eating cereal and also wanted a sandwich but wouldnt allow myself. I had to be convinced it was OKAY to eat. After my baby I was 1lb lighter than before I got pregnant.
You are not being lazy, you are doing what you need to do to find a healthy way to lose weight. And if you aren't talking to someone, I would recommend speaking to a therapist. If nothing else, you don't want random, snide comments from strangers online to deter your from what you know is a healthy part of your recovery. Having someone to talk to who actually knows what's going on with you would be hugely beneficial. And if you're friends with any of those people, drop them.
Thank you. Mainly people on MFP honestly. I have some bad gastrointestinal issues that a professional is supposed to address for me next month and I posted on here about diet only and said please don't give me comments on exercise, I have done this many times and will exercise later. People kept going on about how I should now etc and it's not good for my mindset. I am trying to do the right thing and put my health first. I'm already sick and I'm trying to focus on feeling better and my kids for now. I just felt like them pressuring me was not helpful. I hope people remember on here if they read this that you never know someone's full back story and if they say please do not ask me to ____ then just don't do it and give them advice the best you can on what they asked. Maybe they know what is best for them better than a stranger online. Just my opinion. Sometimes the community is too pushy and judgmental.
I'm glad you'll be seeing someone to sort your gastro issues.
It is entirely possible to manage your weight without exercise no matter what anyone on here would tell you.
Not for anything, but the life of a mother of young children is anything but sedentary! You worry about you and your babies and do what you need to do to be healthy and happy inside yourself.
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PeachyCarol wrote: »cushman5279 wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »Agreed Kalikel. Not sharing food is only a problem if you have deep anxiety about it. Again, all the lines come down to it being disordered thinking that makes it a problem.
Some people think calorie counting is disordered, but it's how the person behaves around the counting that determines if it's disordered or not, you know?
If it weren't food and/or exercise, the people suffering from these disorders would likely exhibit control/obsession over another area of their lives.
I don't see any problem with exhibiting control/obsession. I know plenty of people, myself included, who are control freaks or display obsession. I call it passion and I call it a good personality trait. Being competitive, being controlled and being obsessed as well as passionate, disciplined and dedicated has never failed to get me everything I want out of life and more. Obviously those traits are going to cross into anything one partakes in whether it's a competitive sport (training), proper nutrition, career, finances, etc...
You don't see any problem with people who have an obsession to such an extent that they have an eating or exercise disorder? Orthorexia is not something to aspire to. I know you said you defined yourself this way and then you went to describe basically how awesome it is. It isn't. I'll leave you with the thought that I hope you get some help from a professional.
+2, especially to the bolded.
+30 -
sunandmoons wrote: »Im beginning to worry if Im running into the problems mentioned in the initial post. I hide dieting from everyone. I am excessively fighting should I eat this or that..then walk away not
eating either because of an ingredient isn't needed in a food choice. I will stare at foods on my plate and decide the portion because of the placement then turn my plate look again go into the kitchen and wait to see if I should eat it because part of it looks flawed. I make excuses that some foods are under/over cooked because the form is unappealing.
Im happy to share foods and will wait purposely when others are done eating because it looks unappealing. I find it easier to stay in the kitchen..create dinners let everyone get what they want and then make a plate up for myself. Stay in the kitchen not touching the food or plate and wait for others to be finished so I can say hey...there are leftovers here..and start dishes skip dinner. The more I find playing games with food the better off I am. I dont enjoy food at all. I force myself to try and eat because it looks unappealing.
When I eat..Its foods closest to its original form. I think others who eat manufactured foods are doing themselves wrong and they are not getting nutrition from boxed foods. It makes me sad to see the ones I love destroying themselves.
Im critical about my body. I look at my legs constantly knowing I would be able to get a thigh gap because of the bone shape. I have done it before and was amazed at the look. Ive gone through my closet pulling clothes and wondering if I eat so much less I will be needing new clothes because the ones sitting there are from another point in my life.
Then there are days when I dont think about any of it. Then tell myself your too old to have these issues. Your in midlife. My thinking is wrong. Enjoy food eat what fulfills your body. Or that maybe its because you have nothing better to focus on. We are empty nesters who moved half way across the country...dont have to work and have nothing better to do.
Its a battle that bring back a time when I did become anorexic 10 years ago. When I strived for perfection. While doing so I always ended up with iv fluids because I never drank enough because if you dont eat after so long you lose the urge to drink.
Food color and the way its cooked or who created a meal or if they used clean hands always runs in my mind.
I am no way near anorexic as for weight. Im 5'5 and 158. But I can say dieting and counting calories can lead to an eating disorder. When it starts getting picky about whats right and wrong food choices. After you become bored with counting calories but still do every morsel.. After you start watching macros and meet them. Whats next? What can I perfect?
Its almost the same disorder as overeating. but in a different form. Been there too.
No negative comments please. No comments
needing therapist because its an easy answer for you. Im writing this as my experience only.
I understand. I don't feel exactly as you do and I don't really want a thigh gap, but that urge for perfection is real. Our idea of perfection. Just keep a good hold on yourself and keep pushing yourself to eat because in the back of your head I'm sure you know what's truly good for you.0 -
PeachyCarol wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »^ This is part of why I am not exercising yet this time around. People on here might call me lazy, although I am sick as well, but even with not being sick... I would call me careful. I worked out for 2hrs per day making myself sickly exhausted when I was in my 3rd term of my second pregnancy. I cried because I was hungry after eating cereal and also wanted a sandwich but wouldnt allow myself. I had to be convinced it was OKAY to eat. After my baby I was 1lb lighter than before I got pregnant.
You are not being lazy, you are doing what you need to do to find a healthy way to lose weight. And if you aren't talking to someone, I would recommend speaking to a therapist. If nothing else, you don't want random, snide comments from strangers online to deter your from what you know is a healthy part of your recovery. Having someone to talk to who actually knows what's going on with you would be hugely beneficial. And if you're friends with any of those people, drop them.
Thank you. Mainly people on MFP honestly. I have some bad gastrointestinal issues that a professional is supposed to address for me next month and I posted on here about diet only and said please don't give me comments on exercise, I have done this many times and will exercise later. People kept going on about how I should now etc and it's not good for my mindset. I am trying to do the right thing and put my health first. I'm already sick and I'm trying to focus on feeling better and my kids for now. I just felt like them pressuring me was not helpful. I hope people remember on here if they read this that you never know someone's full back story and if they say please do not ask me to ____ then just don't do it and give them advice the best you can on what they asked. Maybe they know what is best for them better than a stranger online. Just my opinion. Sometimes the community is too pushy and judgmental.
I'm glad you'll be seeing someone to sort your gastro issues.
It is entirely possible to manage your weight without exercise no matter what anyone on here would tell you.
Not for anything, but the life of a mother of young children is anything but sedentary! You worry about you and your babies and do what you need to do to be healthy and happy inside yourself.
Thank you. It is less that they tell me and more HOW they tell me that hurts. I'm not "making excuses". I LOVE exercise. I wish I could afford to start my gym membership already and get up at 4am and work out at 5am every day for hrs. I probably shouldn't, but I'd love it so much. I'm sick often now and wake up with bad abdominal pain or experience it throughout the day. Focus is on that and my children. Thank you for the support.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »sunandmoons wrote: »Im beginning to worry if Im running into the problems mentioned in the initial post. I hide dieting from everyone. I am excessively fighting should I eat this or that..then walk away not
eating either because of an ingredient isn't needed in a food choice. I will stare at foods on my plate and decide the portion because of the placement then turn my plate look again go into the kitchen and wait to see if I should eat it because part of it looks flawed. I make excuses that some foods are under/over cooked because the form is unappealing.
Im happy to share foods and will wait purposely when others are done eating because it looks unappealing. I find it easier to stay in the kitchen..create dinners let everyone get what they want and then make a plate up for myself. Stay in the kitchen not touching the food or plate and wait for others to be finished so I can say hey...there are leftovers here..and start dishes skip dinner. The more I find playing games with food the better off I am. I dont enjoy food at all. I force myself to try and eat because it looks unappealing.
When I eat..Its foods closest to its original form. I think others who eat manufactured foods are doing themselves wrong and they are not getting nutrition from boxed foods. It makes me sad to see the ones I love destroying themselves.
Im critical about my body. I look at my legs constantly knowing I would be able to get a thigh gap because of the bone shape. I have done it before and was amazed at the look. Ive gone through my closet pulling clothes and wondering if I eat so much less I will be needing new clothes because the ones sitting there are from another point in my life.
Then there are days when I dont think about any of it. Then tell myself your too old to have these issues. Your in midlife. My thinking is wrong. Enjoy food eat what fulfills your body. Or that maybe its because you have nothing better to focus on. We are empty nesters who moved half way across the country...dont have to work and have nothing better to do.
Its a battle that bring back a time when I did become anorexic 10 years ago. When I strived for perfection. While doing so I always ended up with iv fluids because I never drank enough because if you dont eat after so long you lose the urge to drink.
Food color and the way its cooked or who created a meal or if they used clean hands always runs in my mind.
I am no way near anorexic as for weight. Im 5'5 and 158. But I can say dieting and counting calories can lead to an eating disorder. When it starts getting picky about whats right and wrong food choices. After you become bored with counting calories but still do every morsel.. After you start watching macros and meet them. Whats next? What can I perfect?
Its almost the same disorder as overeating. but in a different form. Been there too.
No negative comments please. No comments
needing therapist because its an easy answer for you. Im writing this as my experience only.
I understand. I don't feel exactly as you do and I don't really want a thigh gap, but that urge for perfection is real. Our idea of perfection. Just keep a good hold on yourself and keep pushing yourself to eat because in the back of your head I'm sure you know what's truly good for you.
Thank you for understanding. Its hard to discuss and or admitting. Ive waited for a few days to post. Because a negative response would lead me into hiding and its what im the best at. Then the process starts over. Perfection how ever the form with dieting and exercise can be so dangerous. Finding that option to get past is a struggle.
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