Rude Dude Rant

skullshank

i was just over on bb.com and there was a thread where the OP was afraid his smile was mistaken for a scowl.
he's pretty beat up about it.

poor guy.

GorillaNJ

Just don't block the sidewalk and MOST NYers are nice to tourists.

operation_cute

I feel exactly like this everytime I go to the gym, the sideway stares the rolling eyes... I just go to the equipment and get my workout done... regardless of how many stares I get... Its like their irritated that a chubby girl is intruding on their side of the gym... makes me sad actually... maybe I should announce, its ok I got this, I wasn't always fat lol

I know a lot of fit people appreciate the hard work we at least try with... but the ones who look down on us is really discouraging and embarassing

BigDaddyRonnie

Personally I find it more rude somebody is so self involved they think some random dude is scowling about you.

Get over yourself and realize don't care all that much. You'll enjoy life MUCH MORE that way.

^^This

Yes, people suck. But taking the time to actually think what people are thinking based on perception...I've got more to do in life than worry about what others think.

FearAnLoathingJ

someone allowed themselves to get really offended here...

Because it IS offensive. She has every right to be a touch p!ssed

Why because she decided he simply MUST be thinking bad things about her even though he didn't say one word? This is utterly ridiculous . Seriously people are getting way to easily offended now days. And you do realize that by making fun of his tan and stuff you've just made yourself no better than him.

KatLifter

Quite the contrary, I often look at people who are not in shape and think "way to go! Please keep that up!" Hell, I do on occasion even verbalize it, but not always. So the next time you see some dude scowling as he jogs around the lake, understand that he could be lost in thought, complaining to himself about his job, dealing with his own struggles, or even thinking good things such as "way to go!"

You really can't win. My friend was jogging and got offended when someone did encourage her. :flowerforyou:

^ That's honestly why I don't say anything the vast majority of the time.

I did today though. I offered to help a 14 year old with his deadlift. He quite willingly said yes, listened intently to everything I said, and then thanked me and did exactly what I showed him to do. Those damn teenagers and their nasty attitudes! :bigsmile:

That's great!
Last month someone helped me with my clean and jerk. Some things are better in person than YouTube.

supahstar71

This is to the douche who thought it was okay to scowl at me while I did my 6 mile walk around the lake:

I realize that you are very disciplined and in control, given your extraordinarily large muscles and fabulous physique. However, your orange oompa loompa tan does nothing for you.

I'm so sorry you had to go out walking that day, I'm so sorry you had to get very disappointed that not every chick with a nice face has a perfect body.

And when you scowl at me in disgust because I am a fat *kitten*, remember that I am working hard to change. I was not put on the earth to please you, therefore the fact that you may have had to go home and rinse your eyes out with battery acid after seeing me in my chunky glory, has no bearing whatsoever to my life.

Apparently it does.

:flowerforyou:

5ftnFun

You know, my husband went to play golf today. When he left the house, he had a horrible angry look on his face, and if you didn't know better, you'd think he'd had a bad argument with me or something. He looked mad! I'm pretty sure he looked that way on the course too and I bet people thought he was a nasty guy. Thing is, he'd just found out a good friend of his had died & had come home from work early. He went to play golf to be with his thoughts.

Looks can be deceiving. Don't be so quick to assume it's about you. And even if it was about you, let it be his problem, not yours.

Cutting4life

mirin tan?

brit__2006

Maybe he was, Maybe he wasn't, but I'm not sure if it is anyone else's place to say some of the things said because I'm assuming you (nobadkitty) were the only one from this site at that particular place and time.

Either way people can be extremely rude, and I'm not one to judge on purpose. Just the one that has been judged most of my life for my weight.

Our point is that her own disgust seems a tad misdirected, and that's a personal problem... she spoke of attitude earlier, but if she is going to presume that everyone with an unhappy look on their face is secretly judging her, then it's her attitude that needs work.

I understand what you're saying. Not picking sides, that's why i said maybe so maybe not. I gave a personal experience kept it light hearted then added another personal experiences. Never accusing anyone of being right or wrong in particular.

K_Serz

How do you know that he was scowling at you because of your size? It could have been any number of things. Maybe you reminded him of his abusive, alcoholic mother??

Thats what I was thinking. Furthermore, how did she know that was his scowl? Maybe he is an ugly mofo and cant help having a mug like that? Poor guy

cmriverside

someone allowed themselves to get really offended here...

I think this has more to do with the OP's self esteem and less about said buff dude....

I think you hit the nail on the head here... I often run with a scowl... well because I would rather be lifting and Im concentrating on not falling over dead as I run!

THIS^

When you think negative thoughts about others, you tend to think they are thinking negative thoughts about you,

Banish those judgey "Oompa Loompa Tan" thoughts, and amazingly you won't think others are judging you.

Google "projection" (as a psychological concept.)

FearAnLoathingJ

I feel exactly like this everytime I go to the gym, the sideway stairs the rolling eyes... I just go to the equipment and get my workout done... regardless of how many stairs I get... Its like their irritated that a chubby girl is intruding on their side of the gym... makes me sad actually... maybe I should announce, its ok I got this, I wasn't always fat lol

This is more than likely all in your head

resistance_freak

maybe he just has a case of b*tchy resting face.

hdean1989

I thought your rant was beautiful and well worded. I am and always have been a big boned chick and I hate that people feel the need to judge me when i am working out but i get satisfaction in their shock at how hard i can push it in the gym

JamieS04

Someone on MFP posted this a while back (I did NOT write it)...I believe it's a blog post that was found either here or another fitness site. But I'm going to post it here because I think it bears repeating. The title was "Hey Fat Girl"...

Hey, Fat Girl.


Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

You are awesome.

If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

I bow to you.

This is really fantastic - thank you for sharing.

WOW just awesome!

Tw1zzler

I hate it when I'm out running and pass someone, and smile, wave or nod... and get nothing but a stare back. Where I live it's mainly the women that do that, most men will at least nod. I think that some people are rude and others are in their own little world, maybe they didn't even register what you did until after they pass you. If I'm working out really hard I'm lucky if I can breathe let a lone smile. Try not to let things like that ruin your day, it's not worth it. You got out there and did your workout and you should hold on to that great feeling! There is a chick at my gym that never smiles. At anyone. Ever. She is young and gorgeous. When I pass her in the hall I smile and she just gives me this deadpan look. I see her at least 2x per week. I've started smiling bigger at her! = D

RunningRichelle

And when you scowl at me in disgust because I am a fat *kitten*, remember that I am working hard to change. I was not put on the earth to please you, therefore the fact that you may have had to go home and rinse your eyes out with battery acid after seeing me in my chunky glory, has no bearing whatsoever to my life.

He should be enjoying the chunky, jiggly, glorious show while it lasts!

Keep doing your thang, and thanks for the post and the giggle, OP! :-)

*Edited for spelling. Fingerz can't keep up with brain.

spetermann190

Hopefully you misunderstood and were not the intended "scowl(ee)" ... I too am just grumpy sometimes ... The world itself sometimes just p*ss*s me off ... And so Sometimes I just scowl ... And though I may be inadvertently looking in your general direction has Absolutely Nothing to do with you or how you or your butt looks ... Maybe not all about you at all ...

cwolfman13

Are you sure he was really scowling at you? I've never actually seen this happen in real life, who has the energy and why would he care?

:noway: Ooo...you've never been to NY, have you?

Sure have...and I've jogged through Central Park and I still have never seen anyone giving a "fat person get off the planet look" like the OP is talking about. I'm not talking about someone cutting you off in traffic or something. This kind of **** is in people's heads and it has to do with their self esteem. Nobody is sitting around staring at fat people and wondering why they're working out or wanting them off the planet as the OP says...just isn't reality.

JaneDough_

I'm really confused. Did he actually say something to you directly or are you telepathic?

operation_cute

You know, my husband went to play golf today. When he left the house, he had a horrible angry look on his face, and if you didn't know better, you'd think he'd had a bad argument with me or something. He looked mad! I'm pretty sure he looked that way on the course too and I bet people thought he was a nasty guy. Thing is, he'd just found out a good friend of his had died & had come home from work early. He went to play golf to be with his thoughts.

Looks can be deceiving. Don't be so quick to assume it's about you. And even if it was about you, let it be his problem, not yours.

I agree looks can be decieving (my boyfriend gets that look when nothings wrong too lol) but what about when they are obviously staring, and actually rolling their eyes... MOST people at the gym either don't know you exist, or are even thinking to themselves way to go, but there are a few, at least at my gym, that make it pretty obvious your not welcome on their "side" of the gym... not everyone has good intentions or just naturally has mean looks unfortunately

kookanddra

Dear lady, who got mad at me today.

I saw as you were walking, that you looked very angrily in my direction. It confused me for a bit because I couldn't figure out why you were judging me. "I don't know." I thought. "Maybe it's because she has something against really buff, muscular and in-shape guys." I checked myself for offensive stains, but no...all clear. It really offended me for a bit, and then I remembered that at that precise moment, I was scowling in disgust.

"I bet that's what it was!" I thought. I felt terrible for judging you and getting offended at what was surely my own misconception. What you don't know, is that I wasn't scowling in disgust at you. As you were walking, in the yard behind you this was happening:




Please accept my apology for being offended at something I thought that you might have been thinking, and also for not being more mindful of every single person in the area before I make a face with no apparent reason. Clearly, neither of us are mind readers.

Sincerely,
Rude Dude

:laugh:

cwolfman13

I thought your rant was beautiful and well worded. I am and always have been a big boned chick and I hate that people feel the need to judge me when i am working out but i get satisfaction in their shock at how hard i can push it in the gym

I can pretty much guarantee you that nobody is judging you....this stuff is all in people's heads. We're all way too ****ing busy getting our fitness on to worry about anything else.

CoderGal

This is to the douche who thought it was okay to scowl at me while I did my 6 mile walk around the lake:

I realize that you are very disciplined and in control, given your extraordinarily large muscles and fabulous physique. However, your orange oompa loompa tan does nothing for you.

I'm so sorry you had to go out walking that day, I'm so sorry you had to get very disappointed that not every chick with a nice face has a perfect body.

And when you scowl at me in disgust because I am a fat *kitten*, remember that I am working hard to change. I was not put on the earth to please you, therefore the fact that you may have had to go home and rinse your eyes out with battery acid after seeing me in my chunky glory, has no bearing whatsoever to my life.

So, you're changing your physical appearance, are mad with someone else's physical appearance and attitude problem, so you decide to act...with a similar attitude problem putting down that person and perhaps other people as well.



At least that guy didn't say anything.

Melissa22G

Don't make it about you....

A. it's not worth it

B. you don't know that

C. you have no idea what is going on in his head.....you just don't..

QFT

sullus

I see these posts all the time here .. waah waah waah, someone was judging me .. I know what they were thinking etc etc ...

Here's what you need to understand.. all those bad things you "knew" he was thinking .. They're all actually things you think about yourself. You just assign them to random people so you don't have to own them.

ZoeLifts

This is to the douche who thought it was okay to scowl at me while I did my 6 mile walk around the lake:

I realize that you are very disciplined and in control, given your extraordinarily large muscles and fabulous physique. However, your orange oompa loompa tan does nothing for you.

I'm so sorry you had to go out walking that day, I'm so sorry you had to get very disappointed that not every chick with a nice face has a perfect body.

And when you scowl at me in disgust because I am a fat *kitten*, remember that I am working hard to change. I was not put on the earth to please you, therefore the fact that you may have had to go home and rinse your eyes out with battery acid after seeing me in my chunky glory, has no bearing whatsoever to my life.

Apparently it does.

:flowerforyou:

^My thoughts exactly.

And also, perhaps he saw you judging his tan and he could tell from your face that you thought he looked like an "oompa loompa" and he didn't like being made fun of? I mean, it is all about perception and this is how you perceived him, right?

Or, more likely, his thoughts weren't on you at all which may be odd if you are used to the world revolving around yourself. I hate running, with a passion, and I'm pretty dang sure that shows on my face everytime I try it. I also like to use my workouts to work out tension and anger, so I'm pretty sure that shows on my face as well. But I don't notice anyone around me half the time, perhaps I need to work on wearing a fake smile so I don't accidentally offend some stranger because my thoughts are focused inward instead of on them?

Going4Lean

People usually judge others by there own actions.

StarChanger

maybe he just has a case of b*tchy resting face.

Haha! I ALMOST posted a video.....