Family Support
Options
Replies
-
vivmom2014 wrote: »
We all know she won't, especially if previous ones are deleted. She also bumps them of people haven't responded in a while. Once again her thread has over 200 replies as people get suckered into her stories.
Honestly-I question every claim she has made about her family. I really think there are some bigger issues here, or someone who is just bored. Either way, it is more than anyone on here is qualified to handle.0 -
vivmom2014 wrote: »
We all know she won't, especially if previous ones are deleted. She also bumps them of people haven't responded in a while. Once again her thread has over 200 replies as people get suckered into her stories.
Honestly-I question every claim she has made about her family. I really think there are some bigger issues here, or someone who is just bored. Either way, it is more than anyone on here is qualified to handle.
Definitely can't believe what she has said. Therapist, family, whiny husband -- it could all be made up. Like someone else said, the threads are baffling (so many pages!) but weirdly entertaining.
0 -
vivmom2014 wrote: »vivmom2014 wrote: »
We all know she won't, especially if previous ones are deleted. She also bumps them of people haven't responded in a while. Once again her thread has over 200 replies as people get suckered into her stories.
Honestly-I question every claim she has made about her family. I really think there are some bigger issues here, or someone who is just bored. Either way, it is more than anyone on here is qualified to handle.
Definitely can't believe what she has said. Therapist, family, whiny husband -- it could all be made up. Like someone else said, the threads are baffling (so many pages!) but weirdly entertaining.
It's like a big train wreck. You want to look away but you just really can't.
0 -
vivmom2014 wrote: »vivmom2014 wrote: »
We all know she won't, especially if previous ones are deleted. She also bumps them of people haven't responded in a while. Once again her thread has over 200 replies as people get suckered into her stories.
Honestly-I question every claim she has made about her family. I really think there are some bigger issues here, or someone who is just bored. Either way, it is more than anyone on here is qualified to handle.
Definitely can't believe what she has said. Therapist, family, whiny husband -- it could all be made up. Like someone else said, the threads are baffling (so many pages!) but weirdly entertaining.
It's like a big train wreck. You want to look away but you just really can't.
I'm so glad I can keep you all entertained All I can say is until you walk in my shoes you have no idea.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »@WBB55 I guess I would, But I am not perfect anyway no one is.
How do you feel about yourself when you're not perfect?
Not great but I'm never perfect it is what I try to be.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »@WBB55 I guess I would, But I am not perfect anyway no one is.
How do you feel about yourself when you're not perfect?
Not great but I'm never perfect it is what I try to be.
Describe a perfect dinner with you and your family.0 -
What is the difference between watching my dog chase its tail, Groundhog Day, and these threads?!?0
-
_Terrapin_ wrote: »What is the difference between watching my dog chase its tail, Groundhog Day, and these threads?!?
They're all going nowhere?
0 -
_Terrapin_ wrote: »What is the difference between watching my dog chase its tail, Groundhog Day, and these threads?!?
Dog chasing tail eventually gets tired and Groundhog Day (the movie) eventually ends? In other words-the first two end?0 -
_Terrapin_ wrote: »What is the difference between watching my dog chase its tail, Groundhog Day, and these threads?!?
They're all going nowhere?
I'm sure things will improve....tomorrow...next day.....sometime soon.....
0 -
_Terrapin_ wrote: »What is the difference between watching my dog chase its tail, Groundhog Day, and these threads?!?
Dog chasing tail eventually gets tired and Groundhog Day (the movie) eventually ends? In other words-the first two end?
Ding Ding Ding
0 -
_Terrapin_ wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »What is the difference between watching my dog chase its tail, Groundhog Day, and these threads?!?
They're all going nowhere?
I'm sure things will improve....tomorrow...next day.....sometime soon.....
I'll stop replying to her posts.... tomorrow. Because today things have been really stressful and it's ruined anyway.0 -
If we could all please turn our attention to the following guideline:2. No Hi-Jacking, Trolling, or Flame-baiting
Please stay on-topic in an existing thread, and post new threads in the appropriate forum. Taking a thread off-topic is considered hi-jacking. Please either contribute politely and constructively to a topic, or move on without posting. This includes posts that encourage the drama in a topic to escalate, or posts intended to incite an uproar from the community.
If you don't wish to participate constructively to the actual topic, please move on without posting. If you feel another user is in violation of the guidelines, please report it. Thanks.0 -
_Terrapin_ wrote: »_Terrapin_ wrote: »What is the difference between watching my dog chase its tail, Groundhog Day, and these threads?!?
They're all going nowhere?
I'm sure things will improve....tomorrow...next day.....sometime soon.....
I'll stop replying to her posts.... tomorrow. Because today things have been really stressful and it's ruined anyway.
Really nice and to think I was answering your questions and being ridiculed because of it.0 -
So, I grew up on a household with a brother who has aspergers. He is the ultimate picky eater. That said my mother made one meal. If we had chicken, he would eat the other two sides, one mela without protein would not kill him. If we had something he wouldn't eat like a casserole he made himself toast or peanutbutter and jam. She would make meals he liked, but not every meal and not at the expense of everyone else's nutrition and desire for variety.
Now, above t your husband, I have to say, he is an adult and id he doesn't like what you made he can eat something else. He does have the ability to do that, and that is final. I would not in 1,000 years set the precedent that I am making two meals. Since you have gone down that road, talk to him about it. I am sure he knows that the kids need their parents to roll model healthy eating, and even if he cannot bring himself to eat what you have made he can at the very least keep quiet and give the kids the opportunity to try it without grousing.
With the kids, be persistent, their tastes will evolve and they will learn to try new things when their is no other option aside from toast, if they will only eat broccoli with cheese on it, maybe keep some aside for yourself without etc. But if you are making baked chicken, steamed veggies and boiled baby potatoes, well they will all just have to learn to live with it, or make their own food. You would be shocked at how many people will learn to live with it because they don't want to cook.
My husband will make his own meals like pasta etc. because he knows I won't make it for dinner for both of us, and I won't make two separate lunches. I consult on the menu and veto things I can't eat and I'd he still wants them, well, he knows where the kitchen is.0 -
I'm a firm believer that what you set up in your family system as acceptable is what you will end up getting.
If you set it up that spending time together, especially at dinner...is important than your family will make time for that.
If you set it up that a parent is treated as the maid or the help, then that is how they will be seen and treated.
If you set it up that honest communication is not valued within partners then that communication will not happen.
If you set it up that if you aren't perfect than you aren't valued or loved then you won't be valued or loved.
You get what you ask for, what you expect. Those are my random thoughts here.
This, 100% this!
My mothers favorite quote is "you teach people how to treat you."
This is soooo true with your spouse and your kids. My husband knows the expectation is that I do the cooking, he does the dishes. I do the laundry, he deals with the trash. I do the grocery shopping, he looks after the pets. We both clean the house on weekends.
I wanted a partner in life and that is what I have, but he doesn't do those things because they came naturally to him or because he really wants to. He would be more than happy to let me do it all. He doesn't think the house needs to be cleaned once a week, or that dishes need to be done daily, but I set that expectation because I'm cleaning that often and he can contribute and if I am cooking dinner for him every day he needs to do the dishes every day.
Don't think it is too late for change either. My mother was a stay at home mom until I was a teenager, but when she went back to work my dad had to start making dinners and shopping and cleaning. Now she works and he is retired and she expects him to do all the stuff she used to.
0 -
@superhockeymom I have listened in to most of the threads your have recently started, also added my words of encouragement but that thread disappeared....as a former and recovering "perfectionist" I can identify with the unrealistic expectations you have loaded yourself down with and I can also identify with the on-going mechanisms of coping/not coping that you employ.....the unrealistic goal setting, the reward/self punishment cycle and also the end use of alcohol used to squash down the feelings of exhaustion and resentment that emerge.
There were 2 threads you started a few days ago this one and I have forgotten the title of the other one.....I was saddened by you coming back more than once to say that no one cares about you and your issues....
Your threads and questions have generated more input and support than any I have seen on here by the MFP community. You are struggling, that much is clear and there are many levels on which this struggle is coming to the surface, I would hazard a guess that is why there is such a diversity to the issues that you raise.
The fact that you are feeling challenged in many aspects of your life is not a bad thing....
It sounds like you have been running and hiding for a long time but now you can't keep that up any more and these issues just won't leave you alone whilst your previous 'coping' mechanisms just aren't filling the gaps either.
I am not demeaning you and no insult is intended...I recognise my past self in the way you write and describe your life......
@WBB55 has hit the nail on the head many times for you, challenged you and your way of thinking and behaving. When someone does that it can be a difficult pill to swallow particularly if they are accurately pointing out that your carefully constructed life and all of the deflections of personal responsibility alongside the opposite side of the coin adopting the responsibility for your families' actions are erroneous.
In all of your threads Patti, I get the sense that you struggle to know where you begin and stop and where others begin and stop. You are trying to make sense and get some 'comfort' out of exerting control but it gets all screwed up and then the self-flagellation, negativity begin, all topped off by a few stress relieving wines just to hopefully dampen down the fire of the pain you are feeling.
My crisis of self happened around the same age as you.....I too wrestled with what I thought was important but was in fact just the minutiae of my life....the kids, the schedules, the lack of supportive partner, my drinking, my weight, my health, undereating/overeating etc etc.....all these things were symptoms of a bigger picture of just pure unhappiness and years of built up resentment towards others and the life that I had built for myself.
Note that: The life I had built for myself. No matter what else, no matter who else.....I had been either an active or passive person in this construction.....realising that my level of responsibility ran high in this mess, cut deep and I was pissed off with myself for a long time but it was freeing too....because if I created it I could change it. I DID change, bit by bit, piece by piece I changed everything about the way I viewed my world and my place in it. So can you.
You are worth making those changes no matter how hard.
You have to get yourself straight and know what it is you want/need and deserve so you are able to get the family to support you....but I have the distinct feeling that like the MFP community your family only gets the parts of you that you feel are perfect enough to be shared.....it's quite possible that your Husband has never really met the "real" Patti, or at least the Patti that is now 46 and maybe you have yet either....that is very saddening and tiring keeping up the facade of 'happy' wife and Mum.....I know it was exhausting for me and such a relief to put it down.
I know this doesn't give practical food suggestions to your chaotic meal schedules....but I hope that my voice resonates along with all of the other support and care that this community has shown you and that you DO get the help and support that you need.0 -
HippySkoppy wrote: »@superhockeymom I have listened in to most of the threads your have recently started, also added my words of encouragement but that thread disappeared....as a former and recovering "perfectionist" I can identify with the unrealistic expectations you have loaded yourself down with and I can also identify with the on-going mechanisms of coping/not coping that you employ.....the unrealistic goal setting, the reward/self punishment cycle and also the end use of alcohol used to squash down the feelings of exhaustion and resentment that emerge.
There were 2 threads you started a few days ago this one and I have forgotten the title of the other one.....I was saddened by you coming back more than once to say that no one cares about you and your issues....
Your threads and questions have generated more input and support than any I have seen on here by the MFP community. You are struggling, that much is clear and there are many levels on which this struggle is coming to the surface, I would hazard a guess that is why there is such a diversity to the issues that you raise.
The fact that you are feeling challenged in many aspects of your life is not a bad thing....
It sounds like you have been running and hiding for a long time but now you can't keep that up any more and these issues just won't leave you alone whilst your previous 'coping' mechanisms just aren't filling the gaps either.
I am not demeaning you and no insult is intended...I recognise my past self in the way you write and describe your life......
@WBB55 has hit the nail on the head many times for you, challenged you and your way of thinking and behaving. When someone does that it can be a difficult pill to swallow particularly if they are accurately pointing out that your carefully constructed life and all of the deflections of personal responsibility alongside the opposite side of the coin adopting the responsibility for your families' actions are erroneous.
In all of your threads Patti, I get the sense that you struggle to know where you begin and stop and where others begin and stop. You are trying to make sense and get some 'comfort' out of exerting control but it gets all screwed up and then the self-flagellation, negativity begin, all topped off by a few stress relieving wines just to hopefully dampen down the fire of the pain you are feeling.
My crisis of self happened around the same age as you.....I too wrestled with what I thought was important but was in fact just the minutiae of my life....the kids, the schedules, the lack of supportive partner, my drinking, my weight, my health, undereating/overeating etc etc.....all these things were symptoms of a bigger picture of just pure unhappiness and years of built up resentment towards others and the life that I had built for myself.
Note that: The life I had built for myself. No matter what else, no matter who else.....I had been either an active or passive person in this construction.....realising that my level of responsibility ran high in this mess, cut deep and I was pissed off with myself for a long time but it was freeing too....because if I created it I could change it. I DID change, bit by bit, piece by piece I changed everything about the way I viewed my world and my place in it. So can you.
You are worth making those changes no matter how hard.
You have to get yourself straight and know what it is you want/need and deserve so you are able to get the family to support you....but I have the distinct feeling that like the MFP community your family only gets the parts of you that you feel are perfect enough to be shared.....it's quite possible that your Husband has never really met the "real" Patti, or at least the Patti that is now 46 and maybe you have yet either....that is very saddening and tiring keeping up the facade of 'happy' wife and Mum.....I know it was exhausting for me and such a relief to put it down.
I know this doesn't give practical food suggestions to your chaotic meal schedules....but I hope that my voice resonates along with all of the other support and care that this community has shown you and that you DO get the help and support that you need.
Thank you
Honestly you brought a tear to my eye and a very heavy heart. I know what I have to do I can't continue the way I am. Thanks you so very much.0 -
You've received a lot of helpful advice regarding your own problems. But the one thing that is sticking in my head is your husband... He just sounds very unsupportive and maybe a tad selfish? Perhaps I'm reading it wrong, but this is how your posts have come across to me.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.9K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 998 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions