Joint bank accounts for couples?

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  • rosellasweet
    rosellasweet Posts: 163 Member
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    Been married five years.

    One joint checking account and joint savings/stocks/etc accounts. My thought truly is if you cannot trust your partner with money how can you expect to trust them with your house, children, or future? I never thought twice about it and until now it has never come up. I make about 40% more than her but that doesn't matter to me - we are a team.
    '

    This is how my husband and I see it too!

    I don't see having separate accounts (and together accounts) as a trust issue. We're together nearly 19 years now and we've always had joint checking and separate checking (direct deposit from our payrolls). My husband handles all of the bills now (we have 2 homes, and one rental property so there's a lot to handle). I used to when I was the breadwinner but he's done a great job balancing it all over the years.

    I would never see a separate account as a trust issue. I travel a lot for work and it helps to have a separate account and separate credit card. I travel all over the US and it just works for us. His side business account is also separate.

    I just say don't judge--you have to do what works for you!

    ^^^ This, this, this.
  • dearly4ever
    dearly4ever Posts: 61 Member
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    Hubby and I used to have joint everything when we first started dating and then continued that once we got married. We recently split our direct deposits into having a joint account just for bills and a joint savings account we each put money in. Whatever is left over we put into our own accounts but we each have access to the others account. It just made it easier that way, you spend without feeling guilty LOL. He can go golfing to his hearts content and I can buy shoes to my hearts content ha ha and it seems to be working great so far.
  • gangsterfurious
    gangsterfurious Posts: 56
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    My husband and I have a joint-account. We've decided that I do the budgeting and pay the bills because I'm a little more organized on that front than he is. After I take care of things and put some money aside, I write him a check and he deposits it into his personal account, this is his spending money that he has left for the month. I do the same and transfer the money electronically into my own personal account. Seems to work well, that way if we want to buy each other a gift or do something we don't want the other person to know about (not like THAT), we don't have to worry about the other person seeing it.

    Also, we do much better financially this way for some reason. Maybe it's because I can see the bigger picture with both of our incomes combined.
  • RunsOnEspresso
    RunsOnEspresso Posts: 3,218 Member
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    We have separate. We have talked about joint but never got around to it. It's just not necessary since we have a system that works for us.

    He moved in with me so all the bills were already in my name and set up to my bank account. We have a spreadsheet in which I enter the bills, tally it up and halve it. He usually gets groceries so those go on the spreadsheet and reduce what he owes. Then he sends a check as needed.

    He currently makes more than me now but he pays for anything I need/want if I can't cover it. When I was making more, I paid.

    I think the key is to find what works for both of you.
  • Onesnap
    Onesnap Posts: 2,819 Member
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    Been married five years.

    One joint checking account and joint savings/stocks/etc accounts. My thought truly is if you cannot trust your partner with money how can you expect to trust them with your house, children, or future? I never thought twice about it and until now it has never come up. I make about 40% more than her but that doesn't matter to me - we are a team.
    '

    This is how my husband and I see it too!

    I don't see having separate accounts (and together accounts) as a trust issue. We're together nearly 19 years now and we've always had joint checking and separate checking (direct deposit from our payrolls). My husband handles all of the bills now (we have 2 homes, and one rental property so there's a lot to handle). I used to when I was the breadwinner but he's done a great job balancing it all over the years.

    I would never see a separate account as a trust issue. I travel a lot for work and it helps to have a separate account and separate credit card. I travel all over the US and it just works for us. His side business account is also separate.

    I just say don't judge--you have to do what works for you!

    ^^^ This, this, this.

    Thank you. :flowerforyou:
  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
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    Separate accounts. I'm a financial control freak. I earn the bulk of the money (DH is retired and on SS). DH writes me a check every month from whatever he hasn't spent and I figure out what to do with it. Most of it goes into savings. I'd go nuts if we had a joint account and money disappeared as DH made withdrawals or debit card purchases even though his spending is modest (and mostly household stuff). Totally irrational, but I'm more comfortable with him spending what he wants/needs and then figuring out what to do with the balance at the end of the month. The investments are all in my name and DH would rather have root canal than talk to our financial advisor. He knows roughly how much we have and what kind of things it's invested in, and that the billas all get paid. That's enough for him. I trust him enough that he's an Authorized User on my credit cards so we can both accumulate hotel/airline points. That's something I woudl never have done with my first husband- the guy was an out-of-control spender.
  • Vivian06703188
    Vivian06703188 Posts: 310 Member
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    No one ever wants to think about the financial trouble of a joint account. I have been married a couple of times and this is what I would suggest after trusting and having my account cleaned out when he was having an affair I didn't know about. You keep your personal account and put a right of survivor on the account in his name (this can easily be changed at any time). This is not a joint account it just means if anything happens to you he won't have to go through probate to get at your money and all of that money will go directly to him and not into an estate. Have him put a right of survivor on his account. Then open a joint account just for the bills and each of you when you get paid transfer your portion of the bill money into that account plus 20 dollars. At the end of the year when you reconcile the accounts you will have overdraft protection and the remaining money can be used for a cruise so your holiday is paid for. This is a win win you have security and a joint account to pay bills.
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    Joint account. We're a team. Extra money from sideline jobs goes into a "fun account" for concerts, clothes, etc., but all of the "real" stuff is shared. If I couldn't trust him with money I wouldn't have married him. :)
  • Vivian06703188
    Vivian06703188 Posts: 310 Member
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    Oh did I mention my first marriage lasted 16 years so don't think time mean a dam thing a man changes and will clean you out.
  • jaimrlx
    jaimrlx Posts: 426 Member
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    If you have a good dynamic and trust in your partner, go for it. I was cheated on, left, kicked out and all of my money stolen right after a paycheck when I was young(er) and dumb. It's a scary thing, but it sounds like you and your husband will do just fine.
  • traceytwink
    traceytwink Posts: 538 Member
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    We have a joint account which all out money goes into but I do have my own account which is money I put by for the tax man so I guess that doesn't count cos it's not really my money ????
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
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    I am married for 19 years and we put our accounts together when we got married. It helped us budget the money and for a long time DH made much more than I did. We broke even a couple years ago. But for us it has worked. There were times he has been a pain in the butt when money was tight. Like the time he told me I was spending too much money on groceries and he went to Costco and spent $300 2 days later, I said "that doesn't go against my grocery bill" and he said "but I bought dinners" my answer "what do you think I buy?" Other than having to put him in his place like that its all been good.

    Right before Christmas one year he told me I spend way more money than him. I said "OK so when the kid needs clothes you can take her and you can buy all the Christmas gifts for your family" that shut him up fast.
  • nightengale7
    nightengale7 Posts: 563 Member
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    We have joint checking and savings. Both me and my hubby are impulse buyers, but knowing that we can see each other's spending at any time helps keep us in line. I am considering opening "fun money" accounts once we have our credit cards paid off so that we can buy extras and gifts without worrying about what each other thinks, but it would be a very small portion of our income that would go into those accounts.
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
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    Don't join them unless you are married is my opinion. Dave Ramsey has the best advice on finances.
  • chubbard9
    chubbard9 Posts: 565 Member
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    My boyfriend and I(been together 2+ years), have a joint account, but only ended up getting it because he had checks he couldn't cash because he didn't have an account at the time, and I just added him to mine so that he was able to get his money... But, we now use the account routinely, and found out that things work out better for us with the joint account-we save more money(it seems) because we are aware of what we have in total and are trying to move out of this apartment... I think joint-accounts work easier, plus we're both aware of how much each of us have put into it, so if there's any issue/argument, we know what's going on... And it's not like "his money" "my money" it's "our money" so we don't have to be like "well, i paid for this" - there's no need to argue about anything.
  • Faery_Dust
    Faery_Dust Posts: 246 Member
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    We are married, living together and all the main expenses are handled by our joint account.
    We have main joint account and a savings account.
    For a long time this was it. It worked well, except I always felt a teeny weeny but guilty when I splurged on myself. (he never made me feel like this...I just had trouble spending "our" money on "me")
    So we opened "fun" accounts for both of us. We put a set amount in the accounts each paycheck and that is our splurge money. Now I can buy shoes without guilt! Since it is specifically for fun stuff. YAY
    As for bills, groceries etc, we talk about it together and plan each week. Money has never been an issue with us, even when we were totally broke.

    Thanks everyone for your views on it.

    I think I feel a little like this person mentioned. If it's my money then I don't have any trouble spending it on something I want, I work hard for my money. But if it's our money, I will probably feel guilty.

    I earn more than him so will probably go with the % of salary in to a shared account to cover all bills and expenses, and then each of us get to keep so much money at the end of the month for spending or saving, whatever we want to do with it.
  • amyk0202
    amyk0202 Posts: 667 Member
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    We have a joint account. When we first started dating, my husband just started giving me his paychecks because he was so bad about bouncing things. Once we moved in together, we opened a joint account & it's been that way for over 20 years now. I think it would be exhausting to have separate accounts. A friend of mine had her finances all separate from her husband. She was always keeping track of how much she spent on groceries or on the kids & saying that her husband owed her for this or that. I would hate that. Anyway, my husband makes more than me & probably always will since I quit my real job to take care of the kids. He works for a public school system & we have 4 kids--there is never any "extra" money for us to fight about :happy: . We have what we need & we talk about what we want to accomplish & we don't make any large purchases without looking at our budget spreadsheet first.
  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
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    I earn more than him so will probably go with the % of salary in to a shared account to cover all bills and expenses, and then each of us get to keep so much money at the end of the month for spending or saving, whatever we want to do with it.

    Really, either system works if you're both on the same page financially. If you have very different savings/spending philosophies, neither will work!

    All of my first husband's discretionary income went to stuff- mostly nice things for himself. If he had any credit card limits left, hey, that was money he could spend. I was a saver, and willing to forego a lot in exchange for the security of having a financial cushion. Well, if the house needed a new roof, or the water heater died, guess where the money came from.

    Current DH and I have a similar system but it's worked superbly. He has modest tastes and we tend to agree on the big things (do we need new mattresses, where should we go on vacation). I have my extravagances but I've never walked in the door with a $1,000 bracelet that he didn't know I was getting. I tell him I'm thinking of spending about $X on myself for whatever and his answer is always "Good". He knows I'm not raiding the retirement accounts or neglecting the bills and have figured out how to pay for it.
  • kf4vkp
    kf4vkp Posts: 164 Member
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    When I was married, it was joint account that all money went into, bills, gas and groceries were accounted for and remainder was either split for fun money, or saved for something we both wanted... we discussed our money. If it was split and one of us wanted to save our fun money, we had separate accounts that could go into.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    i have done the joint account thing....i hated it....however it's practical...

    the pit of joint accounts is that after a while everyone sees the balance left over as theirs....you'll go to spend it and it's gone...they will go to spend it and it's gone...

    it was resentful and stressful...

    I am in a relationship that is slowly moving into long term and joint...we will probably have a joint account for common things....mortgage, bills etc...but we will both maintain a private account for our personal spending....

    this I think is the perfect compromise.

    my paycheque will come into mine and I will transfer funds over...his into his...and the same...

    we both know what each other makes...we are both salary....(I make more, I also have a daughter and he does not so he in theory makes "more")

    so there is no risk of hiding money or hoarding....we are also two responsible adults that pay bills first and us second...

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