Rude People

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  • CrankMeUp
    CrankMeUp Posts: 2,860 Member
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    Hi Jof.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Is it just me or does anyone else find that there are a lot of rude, obnoxious, belittling people roaming these message boards? Most of the people posting questions here have legitimate questions and need help only to get replies judging them and belittling them. Grow up people.

    Hah, it's definitely NOT just you. I get where you're coming from & I notice it too. However, if you have a problem with someones remarks, you can either A. address it to them OR B. ignore it. Unfortunately, not all of us live by the phrase "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all".

    Correct...because that was Thumper's dad's advice for juvenile rabbits. It may or may not always apply to human adults...and as we are all adults here (at least according to the ToS), sometimes adults want to express their opinions without wrapping them in sunshine and rainbows.

    Well, okay, at least many of us do...

    ...and when we do, you can be certain that the "rude people" brigade will routinely trot us out to publicly shame us for it.


    Edit: because apostrophes matter...to me.

    Darn, then I guess I am just a juvenile rabbit. *rolls eyes* No, seriously, I was just raised to be nice to people and treat others the way I would like to be treated, Internet or not. Anywho, hope you guys all have fun continuing to flame the poor guy who posted this thread in the first place. That is real MATURE :)

    So you think *you* were raised to be nice and treat others the way you would like to be treated...but *I* wasn't? Interesting. I guess if it helps you feel better about the situation by believing that I (and others like me) are just bad people, then you do what you need to do. It's okay. I'll be alright.

    And yes, I will continue to respond to hypocritical threads calling people names just because OP disagrees with their tone. I was raised to not let that kind of rank hypocrisy go unchallenged...and I will especially not be silent when the apparent target of it is someone I consider a friend.

    All that said, you can still call me 'flower'...

    ...if you want to.

    I don't mind.

    :flowerforyou:

    Oh dear, I never said YOU were not raised to be nice. It was a general statement. I am sure you were raised well. Though, it is quite obvious that you have a different and more sarcastic approach with how you express yourself. Sure, some people may take offense to that, because they simply do not have the same approach as you and do not understand your personality. Some folks are more sensitive than others. Personally, I can take peoples crap, because I have thick skin. I also can give it back, if need be. However, when it comes to people picking on someone for NO reason, that is when I really see a problem. Whether I am in the minority with how I feel is irrelevant because I have a mind of my own. I will ALWAYS stick up for the underdog, even if I am the only one sticking up for that person.

    And...I honestly have no idea where the name calling thing came from, but I definitely did not call anyone a name. Hopefully that statement was not in reference to me. Name calling is not this girls style ;)

    The "names" that OP called others in this thread were "rude, obnoxious, belittling"...and I find that very rude.

    And while I have no problem sticking up for the underdog when I believe they are correct, I certainly won't do it just because they are the underdog. Sometimes, they are the underdog for a very good reason...

    ...because they're wrong.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Is it just me or does anyone else find that there are a lot of rude, obnoxious, belittling people roaming these message boards? Most of the people posting questions here have legitimate questions and need help only to get replies judging them and belittling them. Grow up people.

    Hah, it's definitely NOT just you. I get where you're coming from & I notice it too. However, if you have a problem with someones remarks, you can either A. address it to them OR B. ignore it. Unfortunately, not all of us live by the phrase "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all".

    Correct...because that was Thumper's dad's advice for juvenile rabbits. It may or may not always apply to human adults...and as we are all adults here (at least according to the ToS), sometimes adults want to express their opinions without wrapping them in sunshine and rainbows.

    Well, okay, at least many of us do...

    ...and when we do, you can be certain that the "rude people" brigade will routinely trot us out to publicly shame us for it.


    Edit: because apostrophes matter...to me.

    Darn, then I guess I am just a juvenile rabbit. *rolls eyes* No, seriously, I was just raised to be nice to people and treat others the way I would like to be treated, Internet or not. Anywho, hope you guys all have fun continuing to flame the poor guy who posted this thread in the first place. That is real MATURE :)

    So you think *you* were raised to be nice and treat others the way you would like to be treated...but *I* wasn't? Interesting. I guess if it helps you feel better about the situation by believing that I (and others like me) are just bad people, then you do what you need to do. It's okay. I'll be alright.

    And yes, I will continue to respond to hypocritical threads calling people names just because OP disagrees with their tone. I was raised to not let that kind of rank hypocrisy go unchallenged...and I will especially not be silent when the apparent target of it is someone I consider a friend.

    All that said, you can still call me 'flower'...

    ...if you want to.

    I don't mind.

    :flowerforyou:

    Oh dear, I never said YOU were not raised to be nice. It was a general statement. I am sure you were raised well. Though, it is quite obvious that you have a different and more sarcastic approach with how you express yourself. Sure, some people may take offense to that, because they simply do not have the same approach as you and do not understand your personality. Some folks are more sensitive than others. Personally, I can take peoples crap, because I have thick skin. I also can give it back, if need be. However, when it comes to people picking on someone for NO reason, that is when I really see a problem. Whether I am in the minority with how I feel is irrelevant because I have a mind of my own. I will ALWAYS stick up for the underdog, even if I am the only one sticking up for that person.

    And...I honestly have no idea where the name calling thing came from, but I definitely did not call anyone a name. Hopefully that statement was not in reference to me. Name calling is not this girls style ;)

    The "names" that OP called others in this thread were "rude, obnoxious, belittling"...and I find that very rude.

    And while I have no problem sticking up for the underdog when I believe they are correct, I certainly won't do it just because they are the underdog. Sometimes, they are the underdog for a very good reason...

    ...because they're wrong.

    ^ 10/10. Would share bacon with.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    Maybe we could put a smiley emoticon (thats what they are for) since it is hard to read the actual tone of these messages. I think some people are just blunt and brutually honest and to them its just the way they are, but to others, brutal honesty might be a bit hard to take, so perhaps ,, if you wish, use an emoticon if you wish to convey the tone of the message besides the written words you type.

    But i think someone is not going to worry about putting extraenous smiley emoticons, they just say what they say and thats that. I personally dont see an issue with that per se, however, when writing online, the emoticon is a tool people can use for that purpose.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    How cute another mean people thread...

    I was just reading another thread and the lady said we'd probably all get mad at her, but she made a good point, and she was right, she did get a lot of replies claiming she was rude. But I dont think she WAS rude, she was expressing her point of view.

    What I personally find "rude" or whatever, maybe not rude, but something I dont understand, is when people brag about the junk food they can eat, and exclaim they can lose weight, and are like proud of it. And then give details about all the fattening food they eat. And then belittling others because the other person cant do it but they can, and it comes off as hard for those of us who are tempted by it. I dont get this. If we are trying to lose weight, then it sorta hurts when i read about someone bragging about all this food they choose to eat, it almost is like your out with 4 friends and your trying to eat your salad, and then your "supportive" freinds, all choose to eat a huge pizza, cheese dripping cheeseburger, and a big cream pie in front of you and its like hey we can eat this, tough for you! and then gloat about how the next day they lose 5 pounds after eating all that. so those posts are hard for me to comprehend what are they doing on this site? I dont get it.

    Sounds like you're projecting your own issues on others.

    No....I have seen people post on how are they are mad at themselves because they made a bad food choice and someone mocks them for feeling bad about it. Then they go on to talk about their carefree weekend and how they lost weight on Monday. It's just rubbing their nose in it.

    I really think you're misinterpreting those posts. It's people pointing out, "I am working out consistently and generally watch what I ate, and I can still eat things I love and lose weight and/or I had a bad day but it didn't set me back." I have seen tons of these posts, and that's generally what they're saying.

    They're not rubbing anyone's nose in anything--they're doing the complete opposite by saying, "One day will not undo everything" or "If you work hard and watch what you eat, you can still eat that ice cream or those cheese fries and lose weight. I did it."

    Your initial thought being that these posts were rude, and then stating that it's not rude but you don't understand it is both heartening and depressing. Heartening, because you could admit it was your own schema that made it seem rude, not necessarily the other person. Depressing, because it highlights how often people get banned/told they're rude for another person's flawed or insecure perception.

    I know I seem ambivalent about what I wrote, I suppose I am writing as I am thinking out loud, first considering, its a bit "rude" but then giving someone the benefit of the doubt, so as not to judge their intentions. yes true, it is my perception and reaction but some of it i really didn't understand where these people were coming from. So there lies the ambivalence of how I view message boards. i do believe like I said somewhere else that a person might be just brutally honest and some people consider them rude,, but i would not go that far. I try to view the message rather than the delivery, as much as possible, so that I dont perceive them wrongly. I would hate to misjudget and cast a stone at someone who was just being themselves, and actually being helpful, by misunderstanding the delivery of those words. I do not ever want to be a pity party and have to have my head patted all the time, sometimes telling the truth is actually a statement of love and caring, so in the end, I needed to clarify whats up with dat! :)
  • Reneeisfat
    Reneeisfat Posts: 126 Member
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    :(
  • MzzFaith
    MzzFaith Posts: 337 Member
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    Just ignore them, right now your health or any circumstances of what you are trying to achieve is more important. Just ignore them
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
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    Shut up OP
  • Rarity2013
    Rarity2013 Posts: 196 Member
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    Actually the thing that shocks me most about these threads is that no one on MFP ever posts a copy of the Butthurt Report Form.
  • almc170
    almc170 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    Just ignore them, right now your health or any circumstances of what you are trying to achieve is more important. Just ignore them
    Was there a particular reason you decided to resurrect a month-old thread created by a user who has long since deactivated? Just curious.
  • marilynx
    marilynx Posts: 128 Member
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    How cute another mean people thread...

    I was just reading another thread and the lady said we'd probably all get mad at her, but she made a good point, and she was right, she did get a lot of replies claiming she was rude. But I dont think she WAS rude, she was expressing her point of view.

    What I personally find "rude" or whatever, maybe not rude, but something I dont understand, is when people brag about the junk food they can eat, and exclaim they can lose weight, and are like proud of it. And then give details about all the fattening food they eat. And then belittling others because the other person cant do it but they can, and it comes off as hard for those of us who are tempted by it. I dont get this. If we are trying to lose weight, then it sorta hurts when i read about someone bragging about all this food they choose to eat, it almost is like your out with 4 friends and your trying to eat your salad, and then your "supportive" freinds, all choose to eat a huge pizza, cheese dripping cheeseburger, and a big cream pie in front of you and its like hey we can eat this, tough for you! and then gloat about how the next day they lose 5 pounds after eating all that. so those posts are hard for me to comprehend what are they doing on this site? I dont get it.

    That's not rudeness.

    I would offend you all the time, cause when I go out to eat I don't order healthy. Would you seriously hold it against your friend for eating how they wanna eat just because you're trying to lose weight? My best friend is a dancer and she eats whatever she wants in front of me. Do you think I sit there and brood, "omg she knows I wanna lose weight and here she is eating her sixth cookie!" No. That would be overly sensitive. And being overly sensitive is annoying. I have a friend who is overly sensitive, and it's annoying trying to give her help (that she asks for) but catering your response to that a 2 year old can tolerate it because you're gonna hurt their feelings.

    Seriously, get over yourself. I thought you had a legitimate complaint. I thought you were gonna say something like you asked a question and someone on here called you stupid, or said why even try losing weight cause you can't do it, insulted your looks or beliefs, etc. If what you said above constitutes rudeness on these forums then this place is full of babies.

    Come on, people. We are supposed to be better than this. This is not preschool. We are adults.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    These are the nicest, most supportive discussion forums I have ever been on. I assume it's due to heavy moderation. No swearing allowed (which is very weird to me, but if it makes people nicer...), very little sexual harassment, almost all of the snarky comments have to do with on-topic issues rather than irrelevant personal insults. People who think *this* site is rude should stay away from any others!
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
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    I've always wanted to know, why start a thread about this? Why not just reply to the post that bothered you in the actual discussion in which it occurred?

    So OP deactivated and once again I don't get this question answered by someone who actually does this. I swear I'm gonna get a reply from one of these little boogers someday. I don't even care that much about the answer anymore but it's been so illusive it's like a quest now. My MFP white whale
    2w709ko.jpg

    I haven't created one of these posts, but my guess is that they think MFP is so big and expansive that the original "offenders"' won't see the post, and they think the new post will get them some allies.
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
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    Just noticed how old this forum is and now feel silly. :blushing:
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
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    Aw, shucks. Missed out on the fun.

    Damn that sleep! Ruins everything.
  • cindyhoney2
    cindyhoney2 Posts: 603 Member
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    make that another 'man' that needs to grow a set, lol
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    How cute another mean people thread...

    I was just reading another thread and the lady said we'd probably all get mad at her, but she made a good point, and she was right, she did get a lot of replies claiming she was rude. But I dont think she WAS rude, she was expressing her point of view.

    What I personally find "rude" or whatever, maybe not rude, but something I dont understand, is when people brag about the junk food they can eat, and exclaim they can lose weight, and are like proud of it. And then give details about all the fattening food they eat. And then belittling others because the other person cant do it but they can, and it comes off as hard for those of us who are tempted by it. I dont get this. If we are trying to lose weight, then it sorta hurts when i read about someone bragging about all this food they choose to eat, it almost is like your out with 4 friends and your trying to eat your salad, and then your "supportive" freinds, all choose to eat a huge pizza, cheese dripping cheeseburger, and a big cream pie in front of you and its like hey we can eat this, tough for you! and then gloat about how the next day they lose 5 pounds after eating all that. so those posts are hard for me to comprehend what are they doing on this site? I dont get it.

    Many people start off on diets that are way too restrictive, get very miserable, then fail to stick to it in the long term, because no-one likes feeling deprived and miserable. The most vocal people like this, who boast about what junk food they;'re eating and still losing weight, have actually been down this road in the past, failed (often repeatedly) to lose weight, then finally learned that actually you can enjoy any food in moderation and still lose weight, so long as you're staying within your calorie goal and getting all the nutrients your body needs. This means they're not going to be eating huge pizzas on a regular basis, because you can't fit such large portions in your calorie goal, but they're still eating and enjoying it. Also, exercise gives you more calories, so it's easier to fit stuff like this in. If you're feeding your body properly, i.e. enough protein, fat, carbs, vitamins, minerals, fibre and water, then making up the rest of your calories with a little of whatever you like isn't going to harm your health (in the absence of actual medical issues that make certain foods dangerous)

    Their intention is not to make others feel bad, it's actually to share their discovery, especially after years of overly restrictive dieting, that actually they CAN enjoy all these foods and still lose weight..... and others can do this too. It's more of a public service announcement than anything else. If you've been down a rocky road that's ended in failure, then you're going to want to try to tell others on that same rocky road, that actually there's an easier road to take that leads to the same place in the end.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    Handy tip:
    1) Spot someone being rude.
    2) Click drop-down arrow near username/avatar.
    3) Click on "ignore user".

    I generally wait until I recognize a username for consistent rudeness. Then I target them for elimination. Ahhhhhhhhh; so satisfying! Everytime I see the message that I'm ignoring a certain user, I pretend it's a grave marker.

    :wink: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :drinker: