Cleanse/Detox Scams

245

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    edited December 2015
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    @stevencloser and @tincanonastring

    do you mean this? >:)

    https://youtu.be/cIKBnKPchUY
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    queenliz99 wrote: »
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    @stevencloser and @tincanonastring

    do you mean this? >:)

    https://youtu.be/cIKBnKPchUY

    So why did I think of Bubba when the boys are brushing their teeth?!? Forrest, Bubba, and cleaning the floor with a toothbrush....

  • abatonfan
    abatonfan Posts: 1,120 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    OMG I've got a liver
    Tra la la la la la la la la
    Don't forget a pair of kidneys!
    Tra la la la la la la la la!

    I just had to. :D
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    queenliz99 wrote: »

    Hear ye Hear ye...I'm in love with a Queen. Wait. That may not sound right.

  • socioseguro
    socioseguro Posts: 1,679 Member
    Thank you @AnvilHead for sharing. Merry Christmas
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    It's still OK to drink only distilled water, rain water, and pure grain alcohol to prevent the Communists from poisoning my bodily fluids with fluoridated water, right?
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    rankinsect wrote: »
    It's still OK to drink only distilled water, rain water, and pure grain alcohol to prevent the Communists from poisoning my bodily fluids with fluoridated water, right?

    I think that third one is used in many detoxes specifically for its sterilization abilities. It's on my list of top 1 cleanses.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I'm so glad I joined MFP before the New Years rush. Is it really that bad? Is there a lot of woo peddling?

    Yes. Half because people get on that Resolution kick and the other half that tries to sell their products to those on that Resolution kick.
  • DaddieCat
    DaddieCat Posts: 3,643 Member
    edited December 2015
    Whenever someone tries to sell me something I don't want, I try to sell them something they don't want instead. I have this broken down lawn mower. I'll trade you for a six months supply of your snake oil. No? Ok, but it's guaranteed to make your lawn lose inches fast! (if only it worked)
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    Whenever someone tries to sell me something I don't want, I try to sell them something they don't want instead. I have this broken down lawn mower. I'll trade you for a six months supply of your snake oil. No? Ok, but it's guaranteed to make your lawn lose inches fast! (if only it worked)

    Hahaha! I'll trade you a month supply of that Shakeology for the coolest severed head I have in my freezer. Ummm, wait... Come back! Don't you want to see it? Well, how am I going to lose weight now? :frowning:
  • DaddieCat
    DaddieCat Posts: 3,643 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Whenever someone tries to sell me something I don't want, I try to sell them something they don't want instead. I have this broken down lawn mower. I'll trade you for a six months supply of your snake oil. No? Ok, but it's guaranteed to make your lawn lose inches fast! (if only it worked)

    Hahaha! I'll trade you a month supply of that Shakeology for the coolest severed head I have in my freezer. Ummm, wait... Come back! Don't you want to see it? Well, how am I going to lose weight now? :frowning:

    Now, do you mean the most interesting one... or the coldest one. It makes a difference.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Whenever someone tries to sell me something I don't want, I try to sell them something they don't want instead. I have this broken down lawn mower. I'll trade you for a six months supply of your snake oil. No? Ok, but it's guaranteed to make your lawn lose inches fast! (if only it worked)

    Hahaha! I'll trade you a month supply of that Shakeology for the coolest severed head I have in my freezer. Ummm, wait... Come back! Don't you want to see it? Well, how am I going to lose weight now? :frowning:

    Now, do you mean the most interesting one... or the coldest one. It makes a difference.

    Most interesting. Newest in the collection. Not cold yet :laugh: :noway:
  • DaddieCat
    DaddieCat Posts: 3,643 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Whenever someone tries to sell me something I don't want, I try to sell them something they don't want instead. I have this broken down lawn mower. I'll trade you for a six months supply of your snake oil. No? Ok, but it's guaranteed to make your lawn lose inches fast! (if only it worked)

    Hahaha! I'll trade you a month supply of that Shakeology for the coolest severed head I have in my freezer. Ummm, wait... Come back! Don't you want to see it? Well, how am I going to lose weight now? :frowning:

    Now, do you mean the most interesting one... or the coldest one. It makes a difference.

    Most interesting. Newest in the collection. Not cold yet :laugh: :noway:

    I think we should market them. Freezer heads for weightloss... I'm assuming it would average about 11lbs of instant loss.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Whenever someone tries to sell me something I don't want, I try to sell them something they don't want instead. I have this broken down lawn mower. I'll trade you for a six months supply of your snake oil. No? Ok, but it's guaranteed to make your lawn lose inches fast! (if only it worked)

    Hahaha! I'll trade you a month supply of that Shakeology for the coolest severed head I have in my freezer. Ummm, wait... Come back! Don't you want to see it? Well, how am I going to lose weight now? :frowning:

    Now, do you mean the most interesting one... or the coldest one. It makes a difference.

    Most interesting. Newest in the collection. Not cold yet :laugh: :noway:

    I think we should market them. Freezer heads for weightloss... I'm assuming it would average about 11lbs of instant loss.

    We could put them in a shadowbox with preservative and hang it on the fridge door with a sign that says: "Are you sure you need that?"
  • DaddieCat
    DaddieCat Posts: 3,643 Member
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    maybe you should offer rentals and follow the lines of Repo the Genetic Opera?
  • DaddieCat
    DaddieCat Posts: 3,643 Member
    Zydrate comes in a little glass vial.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    :laugh: I was so focused on the heads, that I haven't been saving those, but I'll start today :laugh:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Zydrate comes in a little glass vial.

    A little glass vial? A little glass vial.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    done your on.
    if you have anything to give me an instant six pack throw that in too.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    Looks like you're in charge of marketing.

    Ummm, if anyone from the gumment is reading, I am not actually harming anyone.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    Looks like you're in charge of marketing.

    Ummm, if anyone from the gumment is reading, I am not actually harming anyone.

    Jon-Hamm-Sure-Thing.gif
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    I agree but you cant tell them that. they will just say well this is different. oh well let them learn the hard way

    @CharlieBeansmomTracey post this:

    everydayhealth.com/news/charges-filed-against-makers-nutritional-supplements/?xid=aol_eh-news_12_20151116_&aolcat=HLT

    thanks for the link, If they want to keep believing the hype I will post it.
  • DaddieCat
    DaddieCat Posts: 3,643 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    Looks like you're in charge of marketing.

    Ummm, if anyone from the gumment is reading, I am not actually harming anyone.

    True... we get these parts wholesale from China... because that way they'll contain "toxins", arsenic, and other heavy metals.
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    done your on.
    if you have anything to give me an instant six pack throw that in too.

    See, that's not adding something... that'd be subtraction. Just need to take to outside layer of your midsection and you're golden. Surely someone else would want it.


    Also, am I weird? Is this weird? Someone told me this was weird (in that bad way).
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    PikaKnight wrote: »
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    Looks like you're in charge of marketing.

    Ummm, if anyone from the gumment is reading, I am not actually harming anyone.

    Jon-Hamm-Sure-Thing.gif

    otnxosbc0815.jpg
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    Looks like you're in charge of marketing.

    Ummm, if anyone from the gumment is reading, I am not actually harming anyone.

    True... we get these parts wholesale from China... because that way they'll contain "toxins", arsenic, and other heavy metals.
    Op which detox do you recommend pls. I am in great need

    There is one, but it's a secret. I'm afraid you will have to join our secret brotherhood if you really want to detox.

    does that mean i have to grow a whatsit to join?

    Apparently @nutmegoreo and I are starting a new company... rather than growing one of your own, we could offer you one at a discount from @nutmegoreo's freezer of body parts.

    done your on.
    if you have anything to give me an instant six pack throw that in too.

    See, that's not adding something... that'd be subtraction. Just need to take to outside layer of your midsection and you're golden. Surely someone else would want it.


    Also, am I weird? Is this weird? Someone told me this was weird (in that bad way).

    not wierd, i want to enjoy my holiday and judging by other posts recently loads do to
    business will be booming
This discussion has been closed.