WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2016
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Michelle~ when I went to podiatrist, I bought inserts from them for 48 bucks, then the next time I needed them I looked on line and got them for half of that..
also wore a splint when it was really bothering me.. had cortisone shot in the side of my heel, that worked wonders..
Well Tom and I had a chat..
I am just feeling so exsausted right now...
he said he cant change the way he feels and that no shrink is going to tell him how to feel.
he is deeply devoted to me and wants to stay with me,but there is no emotional connection.. and he wont go speak to someone about it either, said it is my choice either live the way we are living and hope that things change or split up and work on how to split stuff up so both of us can survive..
I do NOT want to split up and I can't make him change the way he feels.. and I am just emotionally spent..
Please~ I know how you all feel.. get out and be on your own you say..
I understand that I really do.. but there is just to much at stake to leave .. maybe I am the one who should be seeing someone to work things out for my own sake..
Happy Anniversary Barbie and Jake xoxo0 -
Miriam - they work really well for me, but the club feet thing may be a whole different story. I like the way I can wear them in sloppy slippers around the house. I used to be really crippled with pf. Sometimes I couldn't even put my foot to the floor.
I paid Scholl for some very expensive orthotics and they were good, but, as you say, sometimes you do more damage just being on your feet around the house. I swear by these. Why not buy one pair for him and give it a try. They were so cheap I reckoned I had nothing to lose.
Heather UK0 -
Sylvia - I agree with Beth, all will be able to see what you have accomplished. Great big (((hugs))) I do understand tho, I always hate pictures of myself. I had not been in a swimsuit in 20+ years until September if 2014, after I lost weight.
Janetr okc0 -
Allie - the best thing you said was "maybe I am the one who should be seeing someone to work things out for my own sake." Do it. Get some advice from someone who's objective. We're not, 'cause we love you.
I lived with an emotionally unavailable man for 27 years. They don't change. I'm sorry, so terribly sorry. You deserve to be loved, fully and without reservation. Not used, which is what he is doing. I wish you felt good enough about yourself to know you deserve more. But, until I looked at my ex- and thought "I'd rather die alone than live with you," I wasn't ready to leave. You aren't yet, either.
Love you, girl,
Lisa in West Texas.0 -
Allison - hugs sweetie. You may have hit on a good idea. You talking with someone about the situation may be of great help. The only person any of us are able to change is ourselves. We love you and are here for you and will back you 100% in what ever you decide.
Janetr okc0 -
Penny that story is hilarious!0
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morning peeps
bootz is a girl :0)
grandmallie - "he said he cant change the way he feels and that no shrink is going to tell him how to feel" he has the wrong idea on what they are for.. they help him discover WHY he feels how he feels and suggest what he might try doing to change how he feels IF he wanted to.
Yes, we all love you. i AM objective but some of us have been where you've been so we know what it's like to be treated like shi*t. maybe you could suggest to him to become platonic roommates. of course, if you met someone, you would feel free to allow yourself to take it as far as u wanted to. he would do his own meals as you are sharing the house, do his own laundry. you just wouldn't be his maid anymore.
yes i love you, yes i am objective, yes, leave his *kitten*.
hugs,
type to you later peeps.
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kirby says the physical therapist says he may be doing that for a few months.
got a spine doc app on the 22nd. lets see how that goes.
we sold the pinball machine (did i tell u that?) sold within the hr of posting it.
listed the VW on fb. will finish and post on craigslist today probably.
listed a unique cd holder.
things are slowly going.....
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Good morning ladies! I'm at DGS'S basketball tournament today. I was supposed to do Stronglifts today but with limited time I did Kettlebell swings.
Goblet squats- 3x5x25
Kettlebell swings- 22x7x25
Mary from Minnesota0 -
grandmallie wrote: »Well Tom and I had a chat..
I am just feeling so exhausted right now...
he said he cant change the way he feels and that no shrink is going to tell him how to feel.
he is deeply devoted to me and wants to stay with me,but there is no emotional connection.. and he wont go speak to someone about it either, said it is my choice either live the way we are living and hope that things change or split up and work on how to split stuff up so both of us can survive..
I do NOT want to split up and I can't make him change the way he feels.. and I am just emotionally spent..
Please~ I know how you all feel.. get out and be on your own you say..
I understand that I really do.. but there is just to much at stake to leave .. maybe I am the one who should be seeing someone to work things out for my own sake..
Allison, I marked the part of what you said that interested me.....it would help a lot if you were to write down what is at stake that is so important that you can't leave and then write down what is so challenging for you to be in the relationship and decide which has more weight.....if there is more weight on the reasons to stay, then stop suffering over the things that won't change and be grateful each day for the things that are important to you for staying....and if what's wrong with the relationship is too painful to put up with, then be willing to pay the price of giving up those things that are at stake if you leave. you are really important to me and I want what's best for you.
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Allison You are a very insightful person, you know how you feel. Talking about what is next for YOU is a great thing to do. Choose a counselor wisely, the work is hard, you deserve a life that is rewarding and deeply meaningful, can that be done if things remain status quo?
Think and talk with a professional, think some more, the answers will reveal themselves if you continue to face your situation (I don't know what you "should" do or what I "would" do)
Your journey of taking care of your health, eating and exercising has brought you so far, what do you think you deserve next?
Karen from NY
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janet, that is true for me, too 0 -
Lillian: Can you arrive early at the curling site and get your time in before everyone arrives or stay after the meet and finish your exercise? :huh:
Allison: Tom says he is devoted to you and wants to stay with you. That is very good news. Take it at face value and cherish it. The ball is now in your court. I think that your idea to talk to someone is a good one. I wish you luck finding the right person to talk with. DH & I do something fun together regularly and it is so good for us. The fun things vary. Last night it was watching Star Wars in 3D. Sometimes we go out to eat. The fun doesn't have to be a big deal event. You might give the idea a try while you are looking for someone to talk to. All advisors are not equally talented, so choose yours with care.
I'll be riding today in my brace. Send good thoughts my way. I'll tell you how it goes later.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison
January Goals :
1. Log every bite and swallow.
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on flexibility and back strength.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least three glasses of water daily, preferably more!
5. Eliminate alcohol.
6. Monitor sleep. Try to average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.
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Thank you all for your wise and sage advice.. I promise you this.. I will think about all of your advice and take it all one day at a time...
I will get myself healthy for me, and my grandchildren,I will plan on doing things that I would like to do.. and one of them is a cruise.. sometime next year.. if he doesnt want to go, well then I will go on my own.. and have a dam# good time...0 -
Afternoon everyone...
Sharing my January inspirational quote: The art of living is neither careless drifting on the one hand nor fearful clinging on the other. - Alan Watts
Katla49 - How are you doing with this month's goals?0 -
Love you ladies!
Alison - I think of you such a lot. Sending you my love. :flowerforyou: I have been there. Big hugs ((((( )))))
Heather UK0 -
can feel the love xoxox
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{{{Alison}}} ... I have no words of wisdom and what thoughts I've had, others have already stated. Hugs.
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Hi gals,
Miriam – smiled at your comment about the time it takes to clean the paint brushes – I learned this great tip from my mom – if you are painting and then in the next day or two going to use the same color (so like when something needs 2 coats) you can wrap the brush in plastic wrap and a plastic bag and put it in the freezer. Then pull it out an hour or so before you want to paint… and only clean it when you are done with that color or project.
Penny – Love the subtitles!!!
Sylvia – ok get yourself a calendar and see it before freaking out, in fact – can we see it?
Lillian – I knew – anything was cold but converted the Celsius to fahrenheit and brrrrrrr
Alison – you are right I do tend to say get out, but that is when he is abusive, if he can just be without connection, then you are safe and I would support you getting out, but also think seeing someone might help – I know with my Mom and brother, I learned via therapy to respond differently and as a result they are treating me differently.
Kim from N. California
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I knew I was forgetting something.... I went to the Farmers market and bought a kohlrabi...just because I had never had one... OK, I can google it...but anyone have a favorite why to eat it?
Kim0 -
So just when I think I'm getting back on track and my life is going to get a little easier, my 30 year old son breaks up with his girlfriend and needs to move back in with us for a while. Which is fine. For a while. We've always told our kids "as long as we have a home, you have a home". It's just hard having that extra person in the house........
So what do I do. Go straight to the kitchen and eat 2 brownies! Uggh.
It will be okay. Won't it?
Donna in WV0 -
Lagopus – And in our country we know who would “Build the best sandcastle in the galaxy! However, he isn’t running as a ‘liberal’.
Talk about funny things - My former ‘late’ boss was a Judge and one day during a huge arraignment; the bailiff told the crowd to ‘all stand up’, boss walked up the 3 steps to his bench and when he did his toe got caught in the mat that had been used so much it curled up. He went flying across the floor; and the Marshals were pulling out their guns, the attorneys were sitting their seats, and most of the people were ‘gasping’ in surprise. Before the Bailiff could get to him, he pulled himself up off the floor; and said while still on his knees; “SMILE, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!” The Courtroom Deputy and I got up and just about ran over one another to run to the chamber’s restroom. When court reconvened, he said that he wanted everybody to know that they were not going to be doing anything put entering their pleas and then they could talk with their attorneys about what to do next.
He was very bad to take his glasses off and tap his teeth with the tip of his glasses and the courtroom deputy and I could not hear him on the tape. A couple of days later I bought some “No Bite” (stuff to keep you from biting your nails) and painted it one both side of the glasses. This was also going to be a a large arraignment; and when I knew how many defendants and attorneys were going to be in court that day, I called her and told her what I had done. I told her to somehow get his glasses from him and wash the stuff off. I told her that he might ‘fire’ me over it. So she was trying to talk him into why he should let her wash his glasses, ‘they look smudged’. He finally released them and she washed them with hot soapy water. She told me later that apparently washing them did not get the bad taste off them; and, that he had stuck them in his mouth, sort of coughed and said “SSSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTT"; but, he did not put them back in his mouth the rest of the day; and, of course, it was recorded that time, too. The Clerk's Office was responsible for transcribing everything that had been said in court. I'd usually get a call from one of them asking if he had really said that or they could not believe that he had done so. She told him that she had nothing to do with it. He came back to the office and I was working very hard; and, he told me to ‘hand it over’. I looked at him, innocently, and asked him what he was talking about? He told me ‘that stuff you put on my glasses, dammit’. He really wasn’t mad; just asked me why I did it. I told him that it could have been much worse if I had not gotten the Courtroom Deputy to wash them off. He said it didn’t work! He was the best boss in the world, worked for him 20 years before I went out on a ‘medical leave’. He had cancer and he had to go out (retire) on a medical leave about 11 months, and 3 days before he would have retired at full pay. But, his widow still gets a monthly check from his retirement and investments that the court matched.
My husband used my first check from SSD (as a lump sum going back to the point I had gone out on medical leave and not worked and paid me retroactively from that point through my birthday; then they started coming to me monthly. That took away about 75 - 80% or the money I made while working. That was difficult for a while until we got settled in on how we were going to pay for things with a lot less money. I also got a retirement check but my COBRA insurance is taken out of it. It dropped significantly when I because 62; and then this year the premium went up (thanks to ObamaCare) and that was at least one payment on a bill. Our State Farm insurance which covers the house and our cars went up a bit when I bought a new car and we went in and reassessed the house so we'd have enough to replace it if we ever had to. Went up about twice what we had insured it for before.
Sylvia – I think they might have had a release; but, too late now (other to take them to court to have them taken off the shelves). I know that you cannot publish pictures of children without their parents’ consent … or you are not supposed to do it. I know an artist who took a man to court who had taken one of his pictures and cut off his name and then put them on T-shirts and was selling them. He went and told the people putting on the show that this guy had been using his picture and making a profit off using one of his paintings on T-shirts without his permission. They made him take all the shirts he had off the tables and gave them to the artist. He could have made him get back as many as he had sold; or pay him for all he had sold. They did not ‘invite’ him back to the show after that. This artist paints pictures of wildlife and is extremely popular in this area. His paintings sell upwards to $100,000. He’ll take one of them and make prints of it to sell to the Wildlife Federation and people like this; and goes up to Minnesota and signs them (all of them). He might make 1000 of them at a time. My DH traded him with some painting for 2 of his works of art. One of them has a Federal stamp on it, that they had commissioned him to pay it. His wife says it usually takes him about 4 months to paint one and that is working on it 6-8 hours a day. A couple of years ago, he painted a bunch of lab puppies holed up in a chicken coup. Some inside it, other outside it, and some getting out of it. It was about 18” x 24”, on canvas, and the asking price for the ‘original’ was $35,000. There are a whole lot of plantations in the area and all of them have at least one of his originals. Gee, I only wish I could paint nearly half as much.
Miriam – I also have very high arches; and, therefore can’t wear a lot of flats, unless they have sides that are high enough for them to not show. I look like a soul and heel with about 1/4th of an inch connecting them. The left foot also had a big toe slip; because I tend to drag it or not pull it up as high as I should. I can wear “Bob’s” – a canvas shoe with high sides. And a very narrow heel, making most high heels not fit me as well as they should (unless they are made in a ‘narrow’). I went barefooted a lot after I retired so that my Achilles would stretch out. I wore a suit and high heels to work; except on Fridays when it was ‘casual day’. At least in ‘our’ office. Not sure that other courts had the same rule. We could also take any day of the year ‘off’; but, we always worked on MLKJr Day. And, if necessary, he had court on it, too.
Barbiecat and Michelle – That looks like what my sister had to wear for a stress fracture. She was so happy when she no longer had to wear it.
Grandmallie – Not that it is any of my business, what is wrong with Tom?
Janitr – That should be hanging in my DDnL#1’s house and on her cell phone and maybe in the vehicle.
Allison – It is always better to be able to talk to a 3rd party, so long as it is not family (and most of the time a close friend; because they will side with you every time and won’t let you forget it long after you and Tom had kissed and made up for things). A professional will act like the “Devil’s Advocate” so you will learn what you can deal with and what you can’t and give you ideas for coping. I have a friend that is also another artist, well several of them actually, and we can discuss anything and everything with one another – in that respect – none of us say ‘you ought to do this or that’ … we put it ‘well, maybe if I were in your shoes I might have done something differently. I know if you carry a ‘grudge’ for past things, you are only hurting yourself. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and decide what makes you truly happy and then learn to deal with it. Move into another room and only share what is not your personal space (bedroom – and sometimes a bath). When you come out, then maybe things won’t bug you as much. In fact, not having you tend to feel like you’re the maid, letting him do the things he have to do, if you weren’t there to do them for him. Men (and women) have learned to cook, wash their own clothes, and pick up after themselves. Sometimes you have to thrust it upon them. When my DYS was younger he’d go through 3 sets of clothes and take a shower or two. I go tired of clothes being in the basket that were not ‘dirty’ so I taught both of the how to wash their own clothes and how to cook. Each one had to plan and make a meal once a week.
Katla49 – My husband and I have a date night at least once a week. We talk about things during that time that are pleasant, sometimes we talk about how our day went. We always talk every day once he gets his shower and some food in his tummy. Those times it might not be as pleasant because we talk about the children.
Lenora
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Kim, I know that trick, but don't like to use it if the paint gets more than half way up the brush bristles, like from painting overhead. It gets really hard to clean then. And I am a bit OCD and also poor so can not replace brushes very often.
Heather, speaking of being poor. You so the foot things are "so cheap" but on my budget I have to think every single expenditure. Disability income is below poverty level, even though it is insurance and I paid for it my entire working life.
Alison, I just want to add one thing. You say that so much is at stake. I suspect that you are thinking about the money issue. If that is the case, I just want to share that when I left my ex back in '93, I had a car, three kids, and clothing. We had no possessions and only about $1000 that I had been able to hide from him. It was an escape from an abusive situation. We slept on the floor for a year, ate sitting on the floor, in a one room apartment. And I had not been that happy since before I got married, and my boys had NEVER been happier. Money is not everything. It was tough to get back on my feet. But I realized that a lot of the things we think we cannot live without, we discover that we can if we are happy with our relationships.
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ok I'm getting old, I can't remember *kitten*!
Penny question about the veggies... is it 1pound plus any you serve with a meal or are your meal veggies included in the pound a day?0 -
miriam - on amazon search arch support with elastic and there are a few choices under $10 usd... I have a friend with amazon prime and give her cash and she orders for me so there is no shipping... I know sometimes in a month $10 is a lot..
I also get the replacing brushes thing!0 -
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I knew I was forgetting something.... I went to the Farmers market and bought a kohlrabi...just because I had never had one... OK, I can google it...but anyone have a favorite why to eat it?
Kim
I've always eaten them raw. I like them. Let us know what you think of it.
Janetr okc0 -
Hello I am Trish, I am new here I am 58 and 22 lbs from my goal of 150. I am In need of motivation to remain on track and when I get to goal to maintain it. Looks like this is a good place for me too!0
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