Asking Bridal Party To Lose Weight

teagirlmedium

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.

CoderGal

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

And if you had a really close friend or your husband to b's sister or the like was a different weight then the rest you would do what? Find some strangers that are appropriately sized and let them fill their shoes?

verptwerp

.....she was telling me that she wants people in her bridal party to drop a specific amount of weight for her wedding, or else she is going to reconsider replacing them with a skinnier person.. Has anyone else on this board actually requested this from their wedding party? It seems to be a new 'trend' ... Personally, I think this is over the top and Bridezilla- ish. However, I do understand the whole thing about wanting your wedding day to be perfect. What do you guys think about it?

That's just being a bully ....... glad she's not a friend or relative of mine :noway:

CoderGal

.....she was telling me that she wants people in her bridal party to drop a specific amount of weight for her wedding, or else she is going to reconsider replacing them with a skinnier person.. Has anyone else on this board actually requested this from their wedding party? It seems to be a new 'trend' ... Personally, I think this is over the top and Bridezilla- ish. However, I do understand the whole thing about wanting your wedding day to be perfect. What do you guys think about it?

That's just being a bully ....... glad she's not a friend or relative of mine :noway:

Makes you wonder if she is a he and his name is abercrombie lol

teagirlmedium

You don't like the way it sounds, but you totally agree with it?

Marriage isn't a big game of dress-up. If you want to do that, have a costume party.

I do agree with it in a way. To some people the weight of their bridal party would affect the look of their wedding. To me I don't care about the weight, I care about what the people wear. I want good looking photos, to me that means the outfits have to be the same. Marriage is signing the legal papers not the actual wedding. You can have a wedding without actually being married. If you sign the papers you are married. About the costume party part, if it was a costume party they could wear whatever they want.

thefitcompanion

I am quite shocked by this bride's behavior, and I could never imagine asking my friends to do such a thing. To me, the people I care about are equally as important on my special day as my groom and myself.

Case in point, my bridesmaids and I went dress shopping for them about two months ago. I decided to let them pick their dress styles, while I would pick the color of blue it would be, which depended on what designer they went with. Fast forward three shops later, and all of them gravitated toward Mori Lee's Lace Affairs in assorted styles - which only came in black, ivory, or white.

Happy bridesmaids who are going to be comfortable and confident on a day I wish to share with them, or bridesmaids stuffed into unflattering, lackluster dresses which very well may detract from their ability to enjoy the rest of the day? Instead of my "vision" of a royal blue wedding party, I now have six very happy bridesmaids sporting beautiful black dresses, each tailored to their body type and comfort level. I can always have them wear matching accessories to bring in my colors.

My point is, if your "vision" of a wedding involves policing people's weight, maybe you need to step back and reevaluate some of those priorities.

teagirlmedium

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

And if you had a really close friend or your husband to b's sister or the like was a different weight then the rest you would do what? Find some strangers that are appropriately sized and let them fill their shoes?

I do not care about the weight of the people in the Bridal Party I care about what the people standing up with me at the wedding wear. I was saying I could understand the weight of the Bridal Party affecting how someone else wants their wedding to look.

rml_16

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.

Have you actually read anything in this thread?

teagirlmedium

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.

Have you actually read anything in this thread?

Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.

CoderGal

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

And if you had a really close friend or your husband to b's sister or the like was a different weight then the rest you would do what? Find some strangers that are appropriately sized and let them fill their shoes?

I do not care about the weight of the people in the Bridal Party I care about what the people standing up with me at the wedding wear. I was saying I could understand the weight of the Bridal Party affecting how someone else wants their wedding to look.

Sorry, I was going by the assumption that you would pick your close friends or husbands sister to stand with you :ohwell:

mlegrand79

No offense but your friend is fast tracking for a divorce. That is shallow, inconsiderate and just plain rude. She sounds like she wants a wedding and not a marriage. It is fine to want the best possible wedding you can have, but when it gets to a point of hurting people's feelings and someone's weight is more important than the REASON for the wedding to begin with, you should NOT be getting married. You should be planning a party and hiring models to take pictures with her.

rml_16

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.

Have you actually read anything in this thread?

Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.

Your responses don't make sense.

teagirlmedium

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

And if you had a really close friend or your husband to b's sister or the like was a different weight then the rest you would do what? Find some strangers that are appropriately sized and let them fill their shoes?

I do not care about the weight of the people in the Bridal Party I care about what the people standing up with me at the wedding wear. I was saying I could understand the weight of the Bridal Party affecting how someone else wants their wedding to look.

Sorry, I was going by the assumption that you would pick your close friends or husbands sister to stand with you :ohwell:

I said I want to pick what they wear. How does that mean I would not ask them to stand next to me?

kris472

You choose people for your bridal party based on your relationship with them, not how they look. Totally not acceptable and not a good friend!

teagirlmedium

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.

Have you actually read anything in this thread?

Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.

Your responses don't make sense.

How does my response not make sense? The OP said they knew someone who wanted the Bridal Party to lose weight or she would think about replacing them. At the end the OP asked what we think. I said I do not like the way that sounds ( meaning telling the Bridal Party to lose weight or she may replace them). Then I said I could see the wanting the Bridal Party to weigh a certain amount. I said that because I can see wanting your wedding to look a certain way, to some people their weight or the weight of the people around them could change the image of their ideal wedding they are going for. Which I can understand because what the people standing next to me wear would affect the image of the wedding I would be going for. To me picking out what people wear at my wedding that are going to be in the professional photos I would pay for, is similar to telling people how much they can weigh. So while I think telling people they need to lose weight to be in the wedding sound mean, I can't really say anything against it.

rml_16

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.

Have you actually read anything in this thread?

Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.

Your responses don't make sense.

How does my response not make sense? The OP said they knew someone who wanted the Bridal Party to lose weight or she would think about replacing them. At the end the OP asked what we think. I said I do not like the way that sounds ( meaning telling the Bridal Party to lose weight or she may replace them). Then I said I could see the wanting the Bridal Party to weigh a certain amount. I said that because I can see wanting your wedding to look a certain way, to some people their weight or the weight of the people around them could change the image of their ideal wedding they are going for. Which I can understand because what the people standing next to me wear would affect the image of the wedding I would be going for. To me picking out what people wear at my wedding that are going to be in the professional photos I would pay for, is similar to telling people how much they can weigh. So while I think telling people they need to lose weight to be in the wedding sound mean, I can't really say anything against it.

Choosing the dresses you want your bridal party to wear is not the same as telling them to lose weight or choosing your bridal party based on weight.

teagirlmedium

I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.

Have you actually read anything in this thread?

Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.

Your responses don't make sense.

How does my response not make sense? The OP said they knew someone who wanted the Bridal Party to lose weight or she would think about replacing them. At the end the OP asked what we think. I said I do not like the way that sounds ( meaning telling the Bridal Party to lose weight or she may replace them). Then I said I could see the wanting the Bridal Party to weigh a certain amount. I said that because I can see wanting your wedding to look a certain way, to some people their weight or the weight of the people around them could change the image of their ideal wedding they are going for. Which I can understand because what the people standing next to me wear would affect the image of the wedding I would be going for. To me picking out what people wear at my wedding that are going to be in the professional photos I would pay for, is similar to telling people how much they can weigh. So while I think telling people they need to lose weight to be in the wedding sound mean, I can't really say anything against it.

Choosing the dresses you want your bridal party to wear is not the same as telling them to lose weight or choosing your bridal party based on weight.

I don't think they are the same, but I do think they are similar. I do not know the woman's actual reason for wanting people to lose weight, but I think it has to do with the image of the wedding in her head. To me telling someone they cannot be in my Bridal Party because I do not like how much they weigh, is similar to telling people they cannot stand up next to me at my wedding because they did not wear what I told them to wear.

EricJonrosh

So a wedding is not about love, it's about having "perfect" people for the pictures. Got it.

rml_16

To me telling someone they cannot be in my Bridal Party because I do not like how much they weigh, is similar to telling people they cannot stand up next to me at my wedding because they did not wear what I told them to wear.

I ... I ...

Um ...

Those things, they're not even in the same universe.

Laces_0ut

maybe the bride is worried about her friends being overweight and is doing this as a trick to jumpstart their weight loss?