Asking Bridal Party To Lose Weight

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  • nickymarie011
    nickymarie011 Posts: 152 Member
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    LOL, for those of you feeling sorry for the groom to be. Don't. He is even worse. Not that I dislike him, but in simple terms, they are made/meant to be together!
  • rachseby
    rachseby Posts: 285 Member
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    wow thats crazy! My wedding party was such an diverse group of women. Everyone had such different body types I didn't even make them wear the same dress! All i said was pick a dress in this specific color and preferable not full length (why waste money on a dress you wont wear, and most the time people don't wear floor length dresses). Each of them picked a dress that fit their bodies and their style and I think it made them a lot happier.

    This is kind of like my wedding...I got married in Italy and they don't have bridesmaids, they have witnesses. I actually had 3 women and 2 men. I asked the women to see if they could find the same dress, but they couldn't decide on anything so I told them to just get whatever they wanted! In retrospect, I think that everyone dressed exactly the same is kind of creepy. The same color scheme is nice, but I think that it's nice to vary the style, regardless of sizes! And like everyone's said, your wedding day should be about love, including the people you choose to celebrate with you.
  • Pebbles91909
    Pebbles91909 Posts: 59
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    When I got married I chose five of most important girls in my life at the time to be a part of my wedding. I didn't care what their sizes were or the fact that my sister was the one who was successful at losing (while I was struggling to lose). My attendants were different sizes and to me were very beautiful. My wedding wasn't perfect, but it was memorable. My brother escorted me down the aisle. Our dad passed away in October 2008 and I was married in September 2009. When the preacher said, "Who gives this bride in marriage?" My brother responded with, "Her family and I." Then my side of the church responded with, "We all do! And no takes backs!" Everyone got a laugh out of it.
  • AuroraBear84
    AuroraBear84 Posts: 35 Member
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    You would think if one was IN a bridal party they are friends with the bride..right? So.....wouldn't one also think that friends love you in whatever package you come in...??? Maybe I am just not trendy enough to only be concerned about the outside "shell" of my friends...
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
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    Serious see you next Tuesday behavior. :noway:
  • hello_wendie
    hello_wendie Posts: 1 Member
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    Both sound superficial and I can't believe the bridesmaids would oblige or even consider. Typically, you ask your friend to be in the wedding because you like them for their personality and size. If the ladies use that as motivation then so be it. I think that if a person really felt strongly about this, there are other ways to go about it; for instance, pointing out her own flaws and asking her bridesmaids to come to a class with her to tone up. Even then, it would be deceitful and only an option.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
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    Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.

    7396232.png
    I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.

    Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.

    That's how it should be!
    I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.

    -signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.

    7396232.png
    I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.

    Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.

    That's how it should be!
    I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.

    -signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
    The bridesmaids should be paying for their own dresses.

    As for the one that didn't come in the size, you'd never know the difference if I showed you photos.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.

    7396232.png
    I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.

    Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.

    That's how it should be!
    I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned. And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.

    -signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol

    I don't know ANYONE who would ditch a bridesmaid over a dress. Well, not any more lol.
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
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    I'm having a difficult time believing that someone with this self-centered, shallow, immature mentality is ready to be married in the first place. How can you possibly love someone so much that you would ask them to stand up with you at your wedding and then turn around and say they are replaceable if they don't fulfill this ridiculous criteria. Perfect day indeed...
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
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    Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.

    7396232.png
    I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.

    Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.

    That's how it should be!
    I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned. And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.

    -signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol

    I don't know ANYONE who would ditch a bridesmaid over a dress. Well, not any more lol.
    She asked. She didn't say go frig yourself. For all we know she could have been feeling like she was in a real jam and was wondering what to do? Many people will say things that come out wrong when stressed out. If someone had a pile on their plate and that was brought to their attention, the thought of "maybe they don't want to be a bridesmaid" might cross their mind, and they might say it outloud. And they may just assume that they're not that important and being a bridesmaid wasn't important to the person they asked.
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
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    To value the appearance of your wedding over your friendships is not only the height of narcissism but a frightening way to begin one of the most pivotal and, at times, challenging relationships of one's life. Marriage is not a pagent at the end of a fairytale, but a commitment at the beginning of a path of self-discovery, growth, connection, compassion, compromise, self-lessness and adventure. I think this woman should reconsider her priorities.

    Well said.
  • beckizzle
    beckizzle Posts: 118 Member
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    I'll want my sister to lose weight before my wedding... there's ways and means around everything,
    no need for heart breaking like!
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
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    Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.

    7396232.png
    I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.

    Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.

    That's how it should be!
    I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.

    -signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
    The bridesmaids should be paying for their own dresses.

    As for the one that didn't come in the size, you'd never know the difference if I showed you photos.
    Me and a few family members have been bridesmaids and the ugly *kitten* dresses were always just given to us lol.
  • aimeemanninghunter
    aimeemanninghunter Posts: 85 Member
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    Wow, that is totally awful. It should be about having your friends there with you on your special day rather than making sure everyone fits in a cookie cutter shape so pictures are just so. I was asked to be a bridesmaid and I decided on my own that I want to lose so I can look better....I was never asked. That is really rude and shallow and I'd reconsider whether or not that person was my true friend.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
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    No, I am not doing this ( I think its horrible). However, I am recently engaged and have an acquaintance who is as well. We were chatting and she was telling me that she wants people in her bridal party to drop a specific amount of weight for her wedding, or else she is going to reconsider replacing them with a skinnier person.. Has anyone else on this board actually requested this from their wedding party? It seems to be a new 'trend' ... Personally, I think this is over the top and Bridezilla- ish. However, I do understand the whole thing about wanting your wedding day to be perfect. What do you guys think about it?

    I think that's being a total Bridezilla. She needs to back off and realize that she is being an arrogant, um, dirtyword that MFP would just **** out if I wrote it anyway.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I'll want my sister to lose weight before my wedding... there's ways and means around everything,
    no need for heart breaking like!
    Why? What a miserable thing to say.
  • mandasalem
    mandasalem Posts: 346 Member
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    Seems to me she'd look better with no bridal party, and no friends.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
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    To value the appearance of your wedding over your friendships is not only the height of narcissism but a frightening way to begin one of the most pivotal and, at times, challenging relationships of one's life. Marriage is not a pagent at the end of a fairytale, but a commitment at the beginning of a path of self-discovery, growth, connection, compassion, compromise, self-lessness and adventure. I think this woman should reconsider her priorities.

    Well said.

    *massive applause*
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
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    The awful part about it is she knows some of the girls in my bridal party and she was telling me I should do the same as her and request them to lose some weight LOL. Some people *shakes head* ...I have been seeing this time and time again on television though, so I didn't know if it was the 'norm' or what.

    She opened the door for you to give your opinion on what she is doing. Give it.

    Oh, I have. Several times. I cannot change someones mind about what they ultimately want. Got my own wedding to focus on. I did tell her though, she should really quit focusing on what size her bridesmaids are and focus on herself and fitting into her own dress. She is not exactly a skinny minny so I am not sure where she gets off on telling people they are fat and need to lose weight.

    Wow. That's even WORSE somehow!

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