Asking Bridal Party To Lose Weight

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Replies

  • mlegrand79
    mlegrand79 Posts: 3 Member
    No offense but your friend is fast tracking for a divorce. That is shallow, inconsiderate and just plain rude. She sounds like she wants a wedding and not a marriage. It is fine to want the best possible wedding you can have, but when it gets to a point of hurting people's feelings and someone's weight is more important than the REASON for the wedding to begin with, you should NOT be getting married. You should be planning a party and hiring models to take pictures with her.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

    I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

    I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.
    Have you actually read anything in this thread?

    Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.
    Your responses don't make sense.
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.
    And if you had a really close friend or your husband to b's sister or the like was a different weight then the rest you would do what? Find some strangers that are appropriately sized and let them fill their shoes?

    I do not care about the weight of the people in the Bridal Party I care about what the people standing up with me at the wedding wear. I was saying I could understand the weight of the Bridal Party affecting how someone else wants their wedding to look.
    Sorry, I was going by the assumption that you would pick your close friends or husbands sister to stand with you :ohwell:

    I said I want to pick what they wear. How does that mean I would not ask them to stand next to me?
  • kris472
    kris472 Posts: 61 Member
    You choose people for your bridal party based on your relationship with them, not how they look. Totally not acceptable and not a good friend!
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

    I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

    I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.
    Have you actually read anything in this thread?

    Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.
    Your responses don't make sense.

    How does my response not make sense? The OP said they knew someone who wanted the Bridal Party to lose weight or she would think about replacing them. At the end the OP asked what we think. I said I do not like the way that sounds ( meaning telling the Bridal Party to lose weight or she may replace them). Then I said I could see the wanting the Bridal Party to weigh a certain amount. I said that because I can see wanting your wedding to look a certain way, to some people their weight or the weight of the people around them could change the image of their ideal wedding they are going for. Which I can understand because what the people standing next to me wear would affect the image of the wedding I would be going for. To me picking out what people wear at my wedding that are going to be in the professional photos I would pay for, is similar to telling people how much they can weigh. So while I think telling people they need to lose weight to be in the wedding sound mean, I can't really say anything against it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

    I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

    I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.
    Have you actually read anything in this thread?

    Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.
    Your responses don't make sense.

    How does my response not make sense? The OP said they knew someone who wanted the Bridal Party to lose weight or she would think about replacing them. At the end the OP asked what we think. I said I do not like the way that sounds ( meaning telling the Bridal Party to lose weight or she may replace them). Then I said I could see the wanting the Bridal Party to weigh a certain amount. I said that because I can see wanting your wedding to look a certain way, to some people their weight or the weight of the people around them could change the image of their ideal wedding they are going for. Which I can understand because what the people standing next to me wear would affect the image of the wedding I would be going for. To me picking out what people wear at my wedding that are going to be in the professional photos I would pay for, is similar to telling people how much they can weigh. So while I think telling people they need to lose weight to be in the wedding sound mean, I can't really say anything against it.
    Choosing the dresses you want your bridal party to wear is not the same as telling them to lose weight or choosing your bridal party based on weight.
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

    I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

    I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.
    Have you actually read anything in this thread?

    Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.
    Your responses don't make sense.

    How does my response not make sense? The OP said they knew someone who wanted the Bridal Party to lose weight or she would think about replacing them. At the end the OP asked what we think. I said I do not like the way that sounds ( meaning telling the Bridal Party to lose weight or she may replace them). Then I said I could see the wanting the Bridal Party to weigh a certain amount. I said that because I can see wanting your wedding to look a certain way, to some people their weight or the weight of the people around them could change the image of their ideal wedding they are going for. Which I can understand because what the people standing next to me wear would affect the image of the wedding I would be going for. To me picking out what people wear at my wedding that are going to be in the professional photos I would pay for, is similar to telling people how much they can weigh. So while I think telling people they need to lose weight to be in the wedding sound mean, I can't really say anything against it.
    Choosing the dresses you want your bridal party to wear is not the same as telling them to lose weight or choosing your bridal party based on weight.

    I don't think they are the same, but I do think they are similar. I do not know the woman's actual reason for wanting people to lose weight, but I think it has to do with the image of the wedding in her head. To me telling someone they cannot be in my Bridal Party because I do not like how much they weigh, is similar to telling people they cannot stand up next to me at my wedding because they did not wear what I told them to wear.
  • EricJonrosh
    EricJonrosh Posts: 823 Member
    So a wedding is not about love, it's about having "perfect" people for the pictures. Got it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    To me telling someone they cannot be in my Bridal Party because I do not like how much they weigh, is similar to telling people they cannot stand up next to me at my wedding because they did not wear what I told them to wear.

    I ... I ...

    Um ...

    Those things, they're not even in the same universe.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    maybe the bride is worried about her friends being overweight and is doing this as a trick to jumpstart their weight loss?
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
    I personally think if she's that shallow her marriage has a less than great chance of survival. :/
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    To me telling someone they cannot be in my Bridal Party because I do not like how much they weigh, is similar to telling people they cannot stand up next to me at my wedding because they did not wear what I told them to wear.

    I ... I ...

    Um ...

    Those things, they're not even in the same universe.

    They both have to do with a bride kicking people out of the Bridal Party based on an image the bride is going for. To me that is similar.
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
    Lol simple: if you choose your wedding party based on how they fit into the look you want for your photos rather than their love/loyalty/support for you, then you're probably a useless, ornamental, narcissistic piece of crap and your pointless, brief marriage is just a business transaction. So, you might as well have the prettiest people at your party. That's all you've got, after all.
    :throws glitter, curb stomps this thread:
    ETA better name calling because I can't stand this sort of stupidity that makes women look like vapid idiots, and I want to stigmatize the *kitten* out of it.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    I think she's a total beotch. Don't imitate.
  • tjsoccermom
    tjsoccermom Posts: 500 Member
    You know what made my wedding day perfect? Marrying the man I loved and having the people I care most about standing with me.

    How anyone looked or what they wore didn't matter one bit.

    This to infinity!!
  • lambchristie
    lambchristie Posts: 552 Member
    Over-the-top inappropriate. Who are we to judge what is 'perfect' and acceptable. Has someone or can someone demand that you lose weight ... ever in your life; for any reason?

    There is no such thing as 'perfect' and if the bride wants 'perfect' people in her wedding party she shouldn't ask people and expect them to lose weight for her event. How shallow of this person.
  • JCochran0912
    JCochran0912 Posts: 12
    Shouldn't she be more concerned how SHE looks? Weddings are about the bride and groom announcing to their family and friends just how much they love each other. I recently got married and I would never in a million years ask my friends to lose weight just to be in my wedding. If she is embarrassed by how they look then she should have asked some one else to be in her wedding.. Thats nt a very good friend if you ask me... Just my opinion!
  • DavidMartinez2
    DavidMartinez2 Posts: 840 Member
    My cousin just started a side business focusing on helping women loose weight in preparation for weddings. She has two bridal parties as clients in the week since she started.
  • jackiebertram65
    jackiebertram65 Posts: 40
    Your friend should have picked out the shapes she wanted in her wedding party and asked them to stand up with her. FRIENDS ? If she is only worried about looks, she probably asked the wrong people. I have never heard of anything so ridiculous !
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    Your friend should have picked out the shapes she wanted in her wedding party and asked them to stand up with her. FRIENDS ? If she is only worried about looks, she probably asked the wrong people. I have never heard of anything so ridiculous !

    then you havent been following the news this week...

    " Paula Deen used racial slurs and wanted to host a “Plantation style” wedding featuring black waiters costumed to look like slaves"

    i think that wins for ridiculousness. :D
  • clover5
    clover5 Posts: 1,640 Member
    My bridesmaid was quite heavy. She still is. I wouldn't dream of asking her to lose weight FOR ME! for a wedding, or any other occasion.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,890 Member
    Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.

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    I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.

    Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.

    That's how it should be!
    I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned. And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.

    -signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol

    I don't know ANYONE who would ditch a bridesmaid over a dress. Well, not any more lol.
    She asked. She didn't say go frig yourself. For all we know she could have been feeling like she was in a real jam and was wondering what to do? Many people will say things that come out wrong when stressed out. If someone had a pile on their plate and that was brought to their attention, the thought of "maybe they don't want to be a bridesmaid" might cross their mind, and they might say it outloud. And they may just assume that they're not that important and being a bridesmaid wasn't important to the person they asked.

    She asked as a formality, believe me. I got really teary eyed when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I felt like I was really special to her as a friend, she knew it meant a lot to me.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    My cousin just started a side business focusing on helping women loose weight in preparation for weddings. She has two bridal parties as clients in the week since she started.
    Most women, knowing they will be in a wedding, choose to try to lose weight and look their best. That's fine. But it should not be a requirement.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    your friend sounds certifiable.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Anyone who would be asked to be a bridesmaid would have known the bride for some time, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to them what a whack job she is and having stayed friends with her they pretty much deserve what they get. So as far as I can tell, it all works itself out.
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    See You Next Tuesday......:noway:
  • Notapurplebutapurrrrrple
    Notapurplebutapurrrrrple Posts: 14
    Lol, no. I'd never do that to someone. If someone asked me to do that, I'd tell them to start looking for my replacement.
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
    I would be like... OK deal.... but you must pay for my personal instructor, and he most be a hot single guy.... that's my request for m to be part of your stupid bridal party
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    Omg. I'm pretty vain and weight obsessed but I think that's incredibly rude and self absorbed. I'd tell the bride to take a hike.
  • beckizzle
    beckizzle Posts: 118 Member
    My cousin just started a side business focusing on helping women loose weight in preparation for weddings. She has two bridal parties as clients in the week since she started.

    See, I think this is good, starting a business and helping people at the same time. Wedding photos are imortalised forever, and wedding videos are hauled out and watched on many an occasion.

    I think it's a good thing to want to lose a few kgs and trim down for an occassion. Be it a wedding, a holiday or whatever.

    I said in a previous post that if the bride is asking people to lose weight across the board of the bridal party can get awkward. Having said that asking them a month before the wedding isnt' nice, and threatening being cut from the team is also very bridezilla-ish!!!

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