Asking Bridal Party To Lose Weight
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My sister did this. No one in her bridal party was larger than a size 8. Fortunately, it was during one of my better times and that stipulation didn't effect me. I still wanted to choke her for it. What's worse, the bride and all the other bridesmaids went on a ridiculous crash diet, cheering each other on. I was the odd one out.
See, I knew it wasn't that far fetched. Bride to be's have been getting crazier and crazier. I hope I don't drink the Kool- aid lol (sarcasm)0 -
The awful part about it is she knows some of the girls in my bridal party and she was telling me I should do the same as her and request them to lose some weight LOL. Some people *shakes head* ...I have been seeing this time and time again on television though, so I didn't know if it was the 'norm' or what.
She opened the door for you to give your opinion on what she is doing. Give it.
Oh, I have. Several times. I cannot change someones mind about what they ultimately want. Got my own wedding to focus on. I did tell her though, she should really quit focusing on what size her bridesmaids are and focus on herself and fitting into her own dress. She is not exactly a skinny minny so I am not sure where she gets off on telling people they are fat and need to lose weight.
I'd honestly be tempted to egg her on because the friendship and her wedding are doomed anyway. You might as well encourage her to self destruct in the most spectacular way possible. Just don't forget your video camera.
She's screwing herself over anyway lol. Her future sister in law declined being a bridesmaid because of her request. Way to go to get your new family to like you... Meh, she's not always this bad, it just seems the wedding planning has brought out the crazy in her.
I was joking but only a little. I feel for you because I'm sure the pressure from her crazy isn't exactly helping with your own wedding planning stress. I think the best advice would be to simply put some distance between the two of you.0 -
why? Let all the bridesmaids be fat so the bride can be skinny!0
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Sometimes I think that I have heard it all...then a crazy post like this arrives. The bride sounds like a "prize".0
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That's ridiculous!!
When I got married 26 years ago one of my bridesmaids early on told me she was expecting (I had two married friend in my wedding) and she asked if I still wanted her to be my bridesmaid. I said OF COURSE! All 3 of my bridesmaids were gorgeous, all different sizes and looks, and she went on to have her 2nd daughter (of 3 beautiful daughters!) 3 months after the wedding.0 -
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Really offensive. I think I would nitpick things of no importance like when she is getting her boob job before the wedding.... afterall, if the they all need to look flawless, then so does she right? Hopefully she would get how ridiculous she is being. The way I carry myself is who I am proud of, not how you want me to carry myself. I would actually save her the hassle and remove myself from the wedding party.0
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Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
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We had a small courthouse wedding, on a chilly day in November, and no real bridal party, but I was so giddy to be Mr & Mrs that I didn't even pay attention to what we were wearing in our photos.
It wasn't until much, much later that I noticed that in all the outside photos, I'm in my sleeveless wedding gown and my husband has on his winter jacket. I didn't feel the cold. I didn't notice his coat. All I thought was, "SQUEEEEE!!!!!!!! We did it!!!!!!!!!"
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I feel so sorry for the husband to be. (puts head in hands and shakes head)0
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DITTO! I think this is just awful. I am going to be in my best friend’s wedding in September, and I'm using this as motivation, but they would NEVER ask me to lose weight. They love me as I am, and so should any good friend.0
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Everyone else, except one person it seems, has said all that can be said on the subject.
Except maybe encourage all the reject bridesmaids to get silly drunk and photo bomb the entire reception.0 -
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.0 -
Wow.
First thought... Damn feel sorry for that groom.
2nd thought... Nah, his own damn choice so it's his own damn fault...
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Wow. Your friend redefines shallow and callousness. And by extension, if she should one day give birth (I shudder at the thought) will she leave the kid at the hospital because they've got too much baby fat? After all, no one wants a chubby newborn baby photo and there's no guarantee of locating a suitable stand-in baby at the hospital for the photo shoot....0
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Yeah, I thought that brides wanted less attractive bridesmaids so they could stand out?!I took a different approach. I wanted to be the thinnest one, so I asked all my groomsmen to get fat.0 -
The moderators would definitely censor/delete the things I would say to one of my friends if she had the nerve to say something like that to me as a bridesmaid. Just saying.0
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To value the appearance of your wedding over your friendships is not only the height of narcissism but a frightening way to begin one of the most pivotal and, at times, challenging relationships of one's life. Marriage is not a pagent at the end of a fairytale, but a commitment at the beginning of a path of self-discovery, growth, connection, compassion, compromise, self-lessness and adventure. I think this woman should reconsider her priorities.0
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Shouldn't your bridal party consist of people that you already love and want to share in your special day?
That's like saying..."Dad...You're overweight, so I'm gonna ask uncle so and so to walk me down the aisle."
:noway:0 -
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.
That's how it should be!0 -
LOL, for those of you feeling sorry for the groom to be. Don't. He is even worse. Not that I dislike him, but in simple terms, they are made/meant to be together!0
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wow thats crazy! My wedding party was such an diverse group of women. Everyone had such different body types I didn't even make them wear the same dress! All i said was pick a dress in this specific color and preferable not full length (why waste money on a dress you wont wear, and most the time people don't wear floor length dresses). Each of them picked a dress that fit their bodies and their style and I think it made them a lot happier.
This is kind of like my wedding...I got married in Italy and they don't have bridesmaids, they have witnesses. I actually had 3 women and 2 men. I asked the women to see if they could find the same dress, but they couldn't decide on anything so I told them to just get whatever they wanted! In retrospect, I think that everyone dressed exactly the same is kind of creepy. The same color scheme is nice, but I think that it's nice to vary the style, regardless of sizes! And like everyone's said, your wedding day should be about love, including the people you choose to celebrate with you.0 -
When I got married I chose five of most important girls in my life at the time to be a part of my wedding. I didn't care what their sizes were or the fact that my sister was the one who was successful at losing (while I was struggling to lose). My attendants were different sizes and to me were very beautiful. My wedding wasn't perfect, but it was memorable. My brother escorted me down the aisle. Our dad passed away in October 2008 and I was married in September 2009. When the preacher said, "Who gives this bride in marriage?" My brother responded with, "Her family and I." Then my side of the church responded with, "We all do! And no takes backs!" Everyone got a laugh out of it.0
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You would think if one was IN a bridal party they are friends with the bride..right? So.....wouldn't one also think that friends love you in whatever package you come in...??? Maybe I am just not trendy enough to only be concerned about the outside "shell" of my friends...0
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Serious see you next Tuesday behavior. :noway:0
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Both sound superficial and I can't believe the bridesmaids would oblige or even consider. Typically, you ask your friend to be in the wedding because you like them for their personality and size. If the ladies use that as motivation then so be it. I think that if a person really felt strongly about this, there are other ways to go about it; for instance, pointing out her own flaws and asking her bridesmaids to come to a class with her to tone up. Even then, it would be deceitful and only an option.0
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I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.
That's how it should be!
-signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol0 -
The bridesmaids should be paying for their own dresses.
I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.
That's how it should be!
-signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
As for the one that didn't come in the size, you'd never know the difference if I showed you photos.0 -
I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned. And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.
That's how it should be!
-signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
I don't know ANYONE who would ditch a bridesmaid over a dress. Well, not any more lol.0 -
I'm having a difficult time believing that someone with this self-centered, shallow, immature mentality is ready to be married in the first place. How can you possibly love someone so much that you would ask them to stand up with you at your wedding and then turn around and say they are replaceable if they don't fulfill this ridiculous criteria. Perfect day indeed...0
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