Asking Bridal Party To Lose Weight

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Replies

  • sissy56
    sissy56 Posts: 108 Member
    I pity the groom. We can only imagine what she expects of him.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    the least someone can do for a close friend on their wedding day is lose a little weight.


    I hope you're trying to be funny.
  • Momjogger
    Momjogger Posts: 750 Member
    If she doesn't realize that the point of the wedding party is to pick people that will support your marriage and celebrate it and that it is not about how things look on the outside, she is immature, or shallow, and doesn't understand the true value of things. I would guess she will probably lose some friends and possibly get slapped. Which she would deserve.
  • lwagnitz
    lwagnitz Posts: 1,321 Member
    Wow. I wouldn't even want to be at person's wedding who is like that. Not to mention be in their bridal party.... Wow
  • CrazyC
    CrazyC Posts: 284 Member
    very shallow with very little regard for her friends feelings:noway:

    THIS!!! WTH?!!?
  • maddymartinec
    maddymartinec Posts: 48
    Absolutely ridiculous.
  • StarChanger
    StarChanger Posts: 605 Member
    I feel so sorry for the husband to be. (puts head in hands and shakes head)

    Me too. Hopefully he'll get wise before it's too late.
  • hhayes06
    hhayes06 Posts: 189 Member
    * I haven't read any replies *


    OP, I think your friend sounds horrible. You ask people to be in your bridal party because they are special to you and you want them to have a special role in your day. If I ever had a bride tell me that I needed to lose weight to be in her wedding party I would tell her to find someone else and then most likely stop being her friend all together. I hope your friend realizes that she is going to alienate her friends and wind up lonely.
  • letitshine
    letitshine Posts: 7 Member
    I agree that's horrible. It doesn't matter if you want your wedding to be perfect. Perfect would consist of all your family and friends together in one room and with nobody fighting.

    This.
  • clairedrose
    clairedrose Posts: 121 Member
    I feel sorry for the man marrying her, unless he is as big a jerk as she is. Why would anyone want to be friends with someone that shallow and insensitive.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member

    Also, she didn't say her friend was overweight. She only asked if she would mind not being a bridesmaid after she found out she couldn't get the dresses she was getting.

    So she was privileging having the clothes over having the person.

    She should have just gotten married with a bunch of perfect bridesmaid dresses hanging on racks next to her.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.

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    I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.

    Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.

    That's how it should be!
    I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.

    -signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
    The bridesmaids should be paying for their own dresses.

    As for the one that didn't come in the size, you'd never know the difference if I showed you photos.
    Me and a few family members have been bridesmaids and the ugly *kitten* dresses were always just given to us lol.
    Well, that isn't traditionally how it's done.

    The bride did pay for the material for the ones that her mother made, but that was basically our bridesmaids' gifts and while nice of her, not expected.
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.
  • LavaDoll
    LavaDoll Posts: 595 Member
    what a b1tch.
  • SilverLotusGirl
    SilverLotusGirl Posts: 537 Member
    If you care that much about the looks of your bridal party and don't want chubby girls in your pictures then don't invite them to be bridesmaids. Just invite people who have the look you want already if it means that much to you. But asking someone to be in your wedding IF they drop to a certain weight/size is crappy.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

    I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.
  • BunnyW22
    BunnyW22 Posts: 33
    Ouch. That is in such poor taste. If they felt that strongly about another person's appearance i.e. weight they should have taken it into consideration before they asked said person to be in the wedding. Of course not having someone in your wedding because they are heavy is tacky as well. How shallow.
  • TinaBaily
    TinaBaily Posts: 792 Member
    Wow.... I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding but thats not why I'm losing weight... my friend is so incredibly sweet that even though I am by far the largest of the party, she says we all have different body types any way and is having us all wear different dresses to suit our body types... she picked the color and the material but the style is up to us and what we feel best in. I think I would have to reconsider friendship if my friend told me I was too big to be in her wedding.

    The bride in this wedding is one smart cookie. She knows that the same style doesn't look as nice on all body types. Bravo to her! You're lucky to be her friend. She's a true gem.
  • kcatlin9
    kcatlin9 Posts: 321 Member
    That is one of the most shallow things I've ever heard
  • mandasalem
    mandasalem Posts: 346 Member
    You don't like the way it sounds, but you totally agree with it?

    Marriage isn't a big game of dress-up. If you want to do that, have a costume party.
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

    I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

    I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.
    And if you had a really close friend or your husband to b's sister or the like was a different weight then the rest you would do what? Find some strangers that are appropriately sized and let them fill their shoes?
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,629 Member
    .....she was telling me that she wants people in her bridal party to drop a specific amount of weight for her wedding, or else she is going to reconsider replacing them with a skinnier person.. Has anyone else on this board actually requested this from their wedding party? It seems to be a new 'trend' ... Personally, I think this is over the top and Bridezilla- ish. However, I do understand the whole thing about wanting your wedding day to be perfect. What do you guys think about it?


    That's just being a bully ....... glad she's not a friend or relative of mine :noway:
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    .....she was telling me that she wants people in her bridal party to drop a specific amount of weight for her wedding, or else she is going to reconsider replacing them with a skinnier person.. Has anyone else on this board actually requested this from their wedding party? It seems to be a new 'trend' ... Personally, I think this is over the top and Bridezilla- ish. However, I do understand the whole thing about wanting your wedding day to be perfect. What do you guys think about it?


    That's just being a bully ....... glad she's not a friend or relative of mine :noway:
    Makes you wonder if she is a he and his name is abercrombie lol
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    You don't like the way it sounds, but you totally agree with it?

    Marriage isn't a big game of dress-up. If you want to do that, have a costume party.

    I do agree with it in a way. To some people the weight of their bridal party would affect the look of their wedding. To me I don't care about the weight, I care about what the people wear. I want good looking photos, to me that means the outfits have to be the same. Marriage is signing the legal papers not the actual wedding. You can have a wedding without actually being married. If you sign the papers you are married. About the costume party part, if it was a costume party they could wear whatever they want.
  • thefitcompanion
    thefitcompanion Posts: 15 Member
    I am quite shocked by this bride's behavior, and I could never imagine asking my friends to do such a thing. To me, the people I care about are equally as important on my special day as my groom and myself.

    Case in point, my bridesmaids and I went dress shopping for them about two months ago. I decided to let them pick their dress styles, while I would pick the color of blue it would be, which depended on what designer they went with. Fast forward three shops later, and all of them gravitated toward Mori Lee's Lace Affairs in assorted styles - which only came in black, ivory, or white.

    Happy bridesmaids who are going to be comfortable and confident on a day I wish to share with them, or bridesmaids stuffed into unflattering, lackluster dresses which very well may detract from their ability to enjoy the rest of the day? Instead of my "vision" of a royal blue wedding party, I now have six very happy bridesmaids sporting beautiful black dresses, each tailored to their body type and comfort level. I can always have them wear matching accessories to bring in my colors.

    My point is, if your "vision" of a wedding involves policing people's weight, maybe you need to step back and reevaluate some of those priorities.
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.
    And if you had a really close friend or your husband to b's sister or the like was a different weight then the rest you would do what? Find some strangers that are appropriately sized and let them fill their shoes?

    I do not care about the weight of the people in the Bridal Party I care about what the people standing up with me at the wedding wear. I was saying I could understand the weight of the Bridal Party affecting how someone else wants their wedding to look.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

    I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

    I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.
    Have you actually read anything in this thread?
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.

    I'm sorry that you don't have any real friends whom you love.

    I do have friends I love and friends I care about, but that doesn't mean I want them to pick out what they wear at my wedding. I want the outfits to be the same.
    Have you actually read anything in this thread?

    Yes I have read other posts in this thread. My original post in this thread was to the post that started this thread.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    I do not like the way this sounds. However, if I was getting married I would pick out what the brides maids, groom, groomsmen and myself wear. I would want them to look a certain way, so I can see wanting the bridal party to weigh a certain amount.
    And if you had a really close friend or your husband to b's sister or the like was a different weight then the rest you would do what? Find some strangers that are appropriately sized and let them fill their shoes?

    I do not care about the weight of the people in the Bridal Party I care about what the people standing up with me at the wedding wear. I was saying I could understand the weight of the Bridal Party affecting how someone else wants their wedding to look.
    Sorry, I was going by the assumption that you would pick your close friends or husbands sister to stand with you :ohwell:

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