Asking Bridal Party To Lose Weight
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She asked. She didn't say go frig yourself. For all we know she could have been feeling like she was in a real jam and was wondering what to do? Many people will say things that come out wrong when stressed out. If someone had a pile on their plate and that was brought to their attention, the thought of "maybe they don't want to be a bridesmaid" might cross their mind, and they might say it outloud. And they may just assume that they're not that important and being a bridesmaid wasn't important to the person they asked.
I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned. And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.
That's how it should be!
-signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
I don't know ANYONE who would ditch a bridesmaid over a dress. Well, not any more lol.0 -
To value the appearance of your wedding over your friendships is not only the height of narcissism but a frightening way to begin one of the most pivotal and, at times, challenging relationships of one's life. Marriage is not a pagent at the end of a fairytale, but a commitment at the beginning of a path of self-discovery, growth, connection, compassion, compromise, self-lessness and adventure. I think this woman should reconsider her priorities.
Well said.0 -
I'll want my sister to lose weight before my wedding... there's ways and means around everything,
no need for heart breaking like!0 -
Me and a few family members have been bridesmaids and the ugly *kitten* dresses were always just given to us lol.
The bridesmaids should be paying for their own dresses.
I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.
That's how it should be!
-signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
As for the one that didn't come in the size, you'd never know the difference if I showed you photos.0 -
Wow, that is totally awful. It should be about having your friends there with you on your special day rather than making sure everyone fits in a cookie cutter shape so pictures are just so. I was asked to be a bridesmaid and I decided on my own that I want to lose so I can look better....I was never asked. That is really rude and shallow and I'd reconsider whether or not that person was my true friend.0
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No, I am not doing this ( I think its horrible). However, I am recently engaged and have an acquaintance who is as well. We were chatting and she was telling me that she wants people in her bridal party to drop a specific amount of weight for her wedding, or else she is going to reconsider replacing them with a skinnier person.. Has anyone else on this board actually requested this from their wedding party? It seems to be a new 'trend' ... Personally, I think this is over the top and Bridezilla- ish. However, I do understand the whole thing about wanting your wedding day to be perfect. What do you guys think about it?
I think that's being a total Bridezilla. She needs to back off and realize that she is being an arrogant, um, dirtyword that MFP would just **** out if I wrote it anyway.0 -
Why? What a miserable thing to say.I'll want my sister to lose weight before my wedding... there's ways and means around everything,
no need for heart breaking like!0 -
Seems to me she'd look better with no bridal party, and no friends.0
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To value the appearance of your wedding over your friendships is not only the height of narcissism but a frightening way to begin one of the most pivotal and, at times, challenging relationships of one's life. Marriage is not a pagent at the end of a fairytale, but a commitment at the beginning of a path of self-discovery, growth, connection, compassion, compromise, self-lessness and adventure. I think this woman should reconsider her priorities.
Well said.
*massive applause*0 -
The awful part about it is she knows some of the girls in my bridal party and she was telling me I should do the same as her and request them to lose some weight LOL. Some people *shakes head* ...I have been seeing this time and time again on television though, so I didn't know if it was the 'norm' or what.
She opened the door for you to give your opinion on what she is doing. Give it.
Oh, I have. Several times. I cannot change someones mind about what they ultimately want. Got my own wedding to focus on. I did tell her though, she should really quit focusing on what size her bridesmaids are and focus on herself and fitting into her own dress. She is not exactly a skinny minny so I am not sure where she gets off on telling people they are fat and need to lose weight.
Wow. That's even WORSE somehow!0 -
I would be ashamed to be that bride's friend
Me too. That is so obnoxiously sad and pathetic. If I were a bridesmaid and the bride told me she wanted her bridesmaids to lose weight or they would be replaced, I would check my watch and say "Gotta run. I promised myself I would strictly limit my interactions with losers today. And you can go ahead and replace me now because I'm pretty sure that on your wedding day I'll be busy hanging out with people of substance which obviously does not include you."
I'm not a violent type, but I would just love to see a meltdown, knock-down drag-out fight between a bridezilla and a bridesmaid who told her to eff off over something like this.
^^^ About the only thing that could convince me to buy cable.
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My sister did this. No one in her bridal party was larger than a size 8. Fortunately, it was during one of my better times and that stipulation didn't effect me. I still wanted to choke her for it. What's worse, the bride and all the other bridesmaids went on a ridiculous crash diet, cheering each other on. I was the odd one out.
That's nuts. Is she still married?0 -
Everyone else, except one person it seems, has said all that can be said on the subject.
Except maybe encourage all the reject bridesmaids to get silly drunk and photo bomb the entire reception.
Hell, *I* wanna get drunk and photobomb the entire reception!0 -
If someone has "a love and a passion for their wedding"? Are you sure you didn't mean to say "a silly, childish fantasy about the way they want to have something be exactly perfect that really doesn't matter one bit in the grand scheme of things"? Or maybe you meant to say "a psychological disorder centered on an obsession about control"? Anyone who would deliberately exclude their friends and hurt them over their appearance, when they already knew what they looked like, especially since this particular bride is overweight herself, is frankly a total ****.
I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.
That's how it should be!
-signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol0 -
That is horrible and shallow. I would consider replacing her gift with nothing. Shame, she will probably lose friends over this, if not cause tension in the new marriage and family relationships.0
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I was a bridesmaid at my sisters wedding, I actually ended up giving her away. She told me that having a fat bridesmaid was ruining her wedding. To be honest the day of her wedding I wished I wasn't there.0
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I hope they all lose weight and then wear a lot of padding under their dresses for the wedding.0
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You know what made my wedding day perfect? Marrying the man I loved and having the people I care most about standing with me.
How anyone looked or what they wore didn't matter one bit.
They need an applause smiley!
i thought bridesmaids were supposed to be people close to you, not accessories.0 -
I recently read a newspaper article claiming a bride INSISTED her GUESTS go on a 48hr juice cleanse before her wedding so they would look their best in photos! Way too bridezilla for me, I love my friends and family the way they are, but I see no harm in doing something physical just a private class (or classes if they'll commit) with your bridesmaids as a bonding activity if your girls aren't all familiar with each other. I think it could help open lines of communication between them as your big day approaches!0
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Why the heck would she want them to lose weight? She should want them to gain weight so she looks skinnier in comparison!0
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I would ask all of my bridal party to GAIN 100 lbs so I looked thinner in the pictures! :laugh:0
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Yep, the first one, that exactly lol. But really, why have a wedding period if you don't want a bit of fantasy. I know a lot of people who would do anything for anyone who still have a specific vision of a wedding. That being said I don't think they would totally dismiss a person who doesn't fit into their idea, but they'll probably try to get them to. And it's only one day. And she didn't exclude her. She asked her to be in the party and then asked if she'd mind not being in the party. She cared enough to *kitten*, she was however a ditz duh don't ask that question moment but hey, she's in wedding mode, give a girl a break.
If someone has "a love and a passion for their wedding"? Are you sure you didn't mean to say "a silly, childish fantasy about the way they want to have something be exactly perfect that really doesn't matter one bit in the grand scheme of things"? Or maybe you meant to say "a psychological disorder centered on an obsession about control"? Anyone who would deliberately exclude their friends and hurt them over their appearance, when they already knew what they looked like, especially since this particular bride is overweight herself, is frankly a total ****.
I donno...have you priced bridesmaid dresses? And if someone has a love and a passion for their wedding and have an ideal of what it should be go them. And if they asked you in the first place it's not that she wanted everyone to change their identities like the second person mentioned (why on earth would someone marry her). And if they find out that they can't make a specific dress in a certain size well that's really ****ty for the bride and for the person suppose to wear the dress. She'd have to change the whole look of her wedding. Or pay a crap ton because of something that isn't her issue. You'd figure that if something like that happened you'd tell the person and ask them what they think they should do and offer options.
I was in a wedding many moons ago and the bride's mother made our dresses. The pattern didn't come big enough for one of the bridesmaids, so they found a similar pattern for her dress.Years ago a "friend" asked me to be a bridesmaid, then said that they didn't make the dress she wanted the bridesmaids to have in my size and asked if I would mind not being a bridesmaid.. And that was the beginning of the end of that friendship.
Then my cousin's SIL was HUGE with twins for my cousin's wedding and the only similar dress they could find was tea length while the rest of us wore full-length gowns with trains. The SIL was still welcome in the bridal party.
That's how it should be!
-signed, person who has no ambitions to get married so don't assume I'm saying this because I'm a bridezilla lol
Also, she didn't say her friend was overweight. She only asked if she would mind not being a bridesmaid after she found out she couldn't get the dresses she was getting. She didn't immediately say she can't be a bridesmaid. Which I suppose she is aloud to ask, as if she wasn't all about weddings or standing in front of crowds of people on display then it wouldn't have been a problem at all. If she dismissed her completely from the get go then yes, she has issues. But if you ask me people should be allowed to ask their questions and bring situations to peoples attention.0 -
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Am I the only one that would be THRILLED if all my friends were heavier than me? LOL.... just sayin'0 -
YES! LOL0
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That disgusts me. I recently got married and i would've NEVER asked that of my bridesmaids!0
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:noway: That's pretty messed up; that bride should just use mannequins and call it done.
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Your friend is on to something, a new reality show. Bridezilla meets Biggest Loser. I think it has real potential! she should hire a crew and pitch the treatment to the major networks! could be a winner.
We don't have cable, but I'd get it just for that show. Oh my!!
I felt guilty about asking family members to bring 2-3 options of solid color shirts for the pre-wedding family photos... the idea of asking them to lose weight, change hair color to cover up grays, get some botox... gosh, I completely missed my chance!!!0 -
It's an insult, big time. I'd tell her to take her "request", fold it until it's all corners, light it on fire, and shove it up her *kitten*. Then I'd tell her I wouldn't be in the bridal party, attend the wedding, or send a gift either. It's not just about the spoiled damn bride wanting her day to be "perfect" ...it's about a total lack of respect and deliberately hurting other people's feelings. I feel sorry for the groom.0
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I think it's insulting and I would never ask that of the people I care about!0
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Better then someone I knew. She actually had someone taken out of the wedding party because she's obsessed with teddy bears...scary obsessed...scary obsessed they were looking into a vespa to get the teddy bears to come up the isle instead of people...:noway: That's pretty messed up; that bride should just use mannequins and call it done.
She essentially stopped talking to all her friends. It's just her, and copious amounts of bears, and her husband with his copious amounts of beers.0
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