Not Fair
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Face it people. People have different basal metabolic rates. Some people CAN eat more than others to maintain their weight. I don't understand why none of the commenters has acknowledged this.
The variation is not nearly as large as people think. The plots below show metabolic rate predicted by Harris-Benedict vs actual measured rate. (I don't have access to the article itself, just the plots. J Am Diet Assoc. 1998;98:439-445. Plots taken from http://carbsanity.blogspot.com/2014/02/lessons-from-diet-rcts-i-calories.html) Note that almost all of the data points fall close to the line, indicating that the prediction is fairly good.
At most the variation looks to be a few hundred calories a day. I've seen other reports that more or less say the same thing. This is hardly enough to justify the thought that there are some people (barring medical conditions) who can't gain weight. It does mean that some people may have to work a little harder to maintain or lose weight than others, but for most people 100-200 kcal is in the noise.
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sunparakeet wrote: »
There is a girl I work with that is like you. She is 100 pounds overweight. She was SHOCKED when I told her I drank beer. Like, literally shocked. HOW ARE YOU SO SKINNY? There's no way you drink beer! She was practically shouting at me. I told her yes, I do drink beer. I drink beer in moderation and only on occasion. I don't chug a twelve pack every night. She also gets outraged at our other co-worker when she brings french fries and fried zucchini from the local diner to lunch. Said skinny co-worker buys this as a once-a-month treat for herself. ONCE A MONTH. But to our fat co-worker, she eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and stays skinny, and life just isn't fair.
This actually kinda makes sense to me. To a fat person, who is shamed by society for existing and who is told that single foods/meals are the problem. That doesn't truly understand how CICO can work over a long span of time to allow them to both reach a healthy weight and still ever eat food that is deemed "bad", this is their truth. You can eat food that they should never eat, THEY THINK, which isn't fair. The problem isn't that it isn't fair, it's that they have been sold black and white diet thinking that makes them give up on themselves.
Lived that life for years. It stinks.
Stinks? At 100 lbs overweight you're telling me the big gal hasn't done her fair share of eating whatever the heck she wants? More so than the thin women in that anecdote?
@Janeir36 I meant what sinks is being trapped in the diet belief that the only path to thinness/health lies in eating good for you food, all the time. No "bad"/yummy foods for you, you are fat!
For me this was a huge mental roadblock and it ticks me off now that I realize it was all a lie. It's hard to articulate and was rather dumb. The shame piece plays heavily into it and again is hard for me to articulate.
In retrospect I think I knew there was a lie, just not what the lie was, and therefore felt trapped.
Hi, there. Thank you for clarifying!0 -
Best video ever!!! Thank you so much for sharing it!0 -
Your thin coworker shouldn't have to justify what she eats; it's rude to criticize or judge anyone's eating patterns if they haven't asked you for advice. You live in your body, not hers. All your previous choices led you to your current situation (just as all her previous choices led to hers, and there's no possible way that you two have made all the exact same choices and ended up in different places), so there's no question about whether anything is fair or not.0
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Comparison is the thief of joy.
One thing that I've learned here, that's has helped give me much needed perspective, is that one meal makes you neither fat nor thin and that this applies to others. The one meal that you see that person eat does not tell you that they are free of the rules that the rest of us live under. They probably just eat less when you aren't looking and for them, their cico balances to make them the weight you see them at.
I love that quote, never heard it before, but it really rings true
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And as many here have noted, being effortlessly thin at one point in your life doesn't mean you wont become plump later....circumstances and bodies change.....that woman doesn't have a permanent free pass.
How do you know she has a free pass now? One meal has no impact on her overall diet. You can't judge how hard someone either works or doesn't work on their physique by looking at one meal they eat.0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »And as many here have noted, being effortlessly thin at one point in your life doesn't mean you wont become plump later....circumstances and bodies change.....that woman doesn't have a permanent free pass.
How do you know she has a free pass now? One meal has no impact on her overall diet. You can't judge how hard someone either works or doesn't work on their physique by looking at one meal they eat.
Very true. She may very well be a gym freak, for all we know. My only (innocent, I think) point is that even those of us who are usually thin often go through a phase of gaining weight and getting fat when our diets get out of whack....slim right now doesn't mean "always skinny"0 -
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Your thin coworker shouldn't have to justify what she eats; it's rude to criticize or judge anyone's eating patterns if they haven't asked you for advice. You live in your body, not hers. All your previous choices led you to your current situation (just as all her previous choices led to hers, and there's no possible way that you two have made all the exact same choices and ended up in different places), so there's no question about whether anything is fair or not.
I agree with this, just like I think it is rude and uncalled for for a thin person to be judging what an over weight person is eating. Not your monkey not your circus.0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »And as many here have noted, being effortlessly thin at one point in your life doesn't mean you wont become plump later....circumstances and bodies change.....that woman doesn't have a permanent free pass.
How do you know she has a free pass now? One meal has no impact on her overall diet. You can't judge how hard someone either works or doesn't work on their physique by looking at one meal they eat.
Very true. She may very well be a gym freak, for all we know. My only (innocent, I think) point is that even those of us who are usually thin often go through a phase of gaining weight and getting fat when our diets get out of whack....slim right now doesn't mean "always skinny"
You're still being judgmental, based apparently only on her weight and the fact that she was once seen eating fried chicken. "Gym freak" isn't better.
Try this: "she may very well incorporate higher-calorie food items into her diet." That's really all that we can infer based on the information we've been given.0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »And as many here have noted, being effortlessly thin at one point in your life doesn't mean you wont become plump later....circumstances and bodies change.....that woman doesn't have a permanent free pass.
How do you know she has a free pass now? One meal has no impact on her overall diet. You can't judge how hard someone either works or doesn't work on their physique by looking at one meal they eat.
Very true. She may very well be a gym freak, for all we know. My only (innocent, I think) point is that even those of us who are usually thin often go through a phase of gaining weight and getting fat when our diets get out of whack....slim right now doesn't mean "always skinny"
You're still being judgmental, based apparently only on her weight and the fact that she was once seen eating fried chicken. "Gym freak" isn't better.
Try this: "she may very well incorporate higher-calorie food items into her diet." That's really all that we can infer based on the information we've been given.
This is sad commentary that people just have to judge others based on a single episode when they don't even know who the person is. Apparently, those of us who choose to exercise regularly and push ourselves are just gym freaks with the implication that we are somehow not normal and somewhat unbalanced.0 -
First off a 6 inch sub isn't necessarily low calorie. Subway lists them up to almost 700kcal (also I disagree about popeyes sounding delicious but I'm a werido that doesn't like fried chicken that much).So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.
Second, she can gain weight. Same as you can lose weight. No one's weight is set in stone. Everyone has the ability to gain and lose. Sometimes there's conditions that make it markedly more difficult but that's a very small percentage of the population. You don't know what the rest of her day is like. Maybe she ran 10 miles before work, maybe this is a once a month indulgence for her, maybe she's doing intermittent fasting and won't eat again until that time the next day. Whatever she's doing, she isn't eating at a calorie surplus. It's a lot easier to blame genetics than it is to take responsibility for your dietary/exercise habits. If you trick yourself into thinking that your weight isn't something that you can control then you've already lost your weight loss battle. Own up to it, realize that the ability to change is within your control, stay dedicated and you will lose the weight. Then one day someone might make a similar post about how mis1022 is one of those people who can't gain weight.0 -
Sometimes I feel like life isn't fair...
I am almost 200 lbs. I can eat about the same and workout way less than a friend of mine who is both taller than me but only trying to lose the last 5 lbs. She has to track a lot more diligently than me, and works out a lot more. I usually see 1 to 1.5 lb losses per week. She tracks everything and will either not lose or sometimes gain 2-4 lbs from eating something other folks would consider normal. I should also mention she is being treated for hypothyroidism. It's not clear how much of an effect that's having, but obviously a big part of it is I'm 200 lbs and she's around 135-140. I can still 'cheat' (within my calories) a meal once a week of some horrible fast food thing (or several times a week) and still lose weight. She's struggling with those last 5 lbs. Sometimes life isn't fair. Even when you are skinny.0 -
First off a 6 inch sub isn't necessarily low calorie. Subway lists them up to almost 700kcal (also I disagree about popeyes sounding delicious but I'm a werido that doesn't like fried chicken that much).So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.
That was another thought I had. A turkey sub and chips is way more than I usually have for lunch.0 -
First off a 6 inch sub isn't necessarily low calorie. Subway lists them up to almost 700kcal (also I disagree about popeyes sounding delicious but I'm a werido that doesn't like fried chicken that much).So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.
That was another thought I had. A turkey sub and chips is way more than I usually have for lunch.
Ditto.0 -
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arditarose wrote: »
First off a 6 inch sub isn't necessarily low calorie. Subway lists them up to almost 700kcal (also I disagree about popeyes sounding delicious but I'm a werido that doesn't like fried chicken that much).So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.
That was another thought I had. A turkey sub and chips is way more than I usually have for lunch.
Ditto.
Came up to about 420 calories? That's not that much, is it? 280 for 6" turkey sub, 140 for chips
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As someone who is lean I think it is unfair that people always assume you are naturally thin. Sure I have never been overweight but I have always counted calories and I train hard at the gym. I also don't have a car and walk as transportation a lot.0
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arditarose wrote: »
First off a 6 inch sub isn't necessarily low calorie. Subway lists them up to almost 700kcal (also I disagree about popeyes sounding delicious but I'm a werido that doesn't like fried chicken that much).So it just dawned on me why weight loss its so hard, because its not fair. I am currently working on losing about 60 pounds. So here I am eating lunch, my yummy 6 inch turkey sub and baked chips, while also in my office is a very skinny woman eating delicious smelling fried popeye chicken and biscuits. She is one of those people who can't gain weight. I know my health factor is much better than that junk but I guess I just want to complain life is not fair.
That was another thought I had. A turkey sub and chips is way more than I usually have for lunch.
Ditto.
Came up to about 420 calories? That's not that much, is it? 280 for 6" turkey sub, 140 for chips
It probably depends on the source of the sub: how much bread, turkey, cheese, condiments, etc. Your number appears to be Subway. That's with no cheese or mayo. A local place I frequent lists their turkey sub at 530 kcal, so with chips we're about to 650.
For the record I usually clock in about 300-500 kcal for lunch.
Stepping back, my point was that a turkey sub and chips is a fine lunch. Sounds pretty good, actually.0
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KA9AdlhB18o
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