I'm losing weight and my husband is putting me down

amusedmonkey

soniamemms wrote: »

Wow! I didn't think that I would get such a response. Didn't expect it. I guess weight is a very sensitive subject to a lot of people. It's such a struggle and society ostracizes our children for being overweight and many hold onto those hurts for most of their adult life.

I did FINALLY talk to him. He took it better than I thought. He said "we always joke around like that. I call you piglet and you call me ChunkMunka" our pet names for each other. Maybe we were both wrong. He says "well YOU asked me how you looked, so I told you" I guess guys can be so clueless that when a woman asks if they look fat in a pair of jeans, a woman really doesn't want to hear the truth. Lol

He said he was sorry, and didn't think it would hurt me and that he wouldn't do it again. He really is a wonderful guy, just stuck his foot in his mouth. I have always been insecure about me butt. Growing up that's all people would tell me. You don't have a butt or your butt is flat. I'm doing a 30 day butt exercise challenge. He's going to be surprised, and very happy when I'm done.

Glad you worked it out! If I were you I would skip that challenge though. This looks like a recipe for overuse injury and would not give you the results you desire.

KareninCanada

Glad to hear you were able to be honest with each other. It still might benefit him (or both of you) to talk to a counselor about his own insecurities, when he is ready to.

xmichaelyx

soniamemms wrote: »

Anyway, a month ago he said I was bigger than his mother, I was wearing mediums by then, and his mom is a size 16. Then last night, he tells me that my butt looks like the penguin from Batman. I have been working so hard on my butt. While I'm not where I want to be, I think I'm looking pretty good. I didn't even know what the Penguins butt even looked right, so I looked it up. It was awful. I was so hurt. Little does he know, that it fuels me even more to push myself harder?

My question is: do you think he is insecure, because he is still so overweight? Maybe he feels I could leave him, or is jealous about the attention that I'm getting, when people compliment me? I feel like he's trying to discourage me. But what are your ideas or opinions on why?

Whether he's insecure or not is irrelevant. He's an *kitten*, and you can do better.

joinn68

Damianzmommy2016 wrote: »

Omg iam so sorry!! I understand how you feel. Iam 23 , have a 3 yr old son and iam married to my husband of going on 5 years. My husband is 34 yrs old hes always in shape because he does roofing. Ive always been skinny, until i had my son. I got huge!! Lol my husband tells me how much he loves me ect. And he dont care how fat iam. But he always talks ish about me being "big" "huge" "gross" "vaca" which means cow in spanish.and when i try losing weight he gets meaner with his comments!!! Its just men and their insecurity girl. I know it hurts iam still trying to lose weight. And he keeps on with his comments!! Just keep your head up and try to stay motivated!!! You have a friend here if you need to talk

I hope you realise that his comments are absolu-f-lutely not OK! NO it's not JUST men and their insecurities. I am really sorry you believe that. Why would HE feel insecure in this case? You see all the responses to the OP. You should have a talk with him and draw the line!

snickerscharlie

xmichaelyx wrote: »

soniamemms wrote: »

Anyway, a month ago he said I was bigger than his mother, I was wearing mediums by then, and his mom is a size 16. Then last night, he tells me that my butt looks like the penguin from Batman. I have been working so hard on my butt. While I'm not where I want to be, I think I'm looking pretty good. I didn't even know what the Penguins butt even looked right, so I looked it up. It was awful. I was so hurt. Little does he know, that it fuels me even more to push myself harder?

My question is: do you think he is insecure, because he is still so overweight? Maybe he feels I could leave him, or is jealous about the attention that I'm getting, when people compliment me? I feel like he's trying to discourage me. But what are your ideas or opinions on why?

Whether he's insecure or not is irrelevant. He's an *kitten*, and you can do better.

So she should just dump his sorry quadriplegic butt and walk away? Wow.

CurlyCockney

Maybe it's just me, but I'd much prefer to talk to my partner first - before giving strangers the chance to decide he's an *kitten*.

amusedmonkey

snickerscharlie wrote: »

xmichaelyx wrote: »

soniamemms wrote: »

Anyway, a month ago he said I was bigger than his mother, I was wearing mediums by then, and his mom is a size 16. Then last night, he tells me that my butt looks like the penguin from Batman. I have been working so hard on my butt. While I'm not where I want to be, I think I'm looking pretty good. I didn't even know what the Penguins butt even looked right, so I looked it up. It was awful. I was so hurt. Little does he know, that it fuels me even more to push myself harder?

My question is: do you think he is insecure, because he is still so overweight? Maybe he feels I could leave him, or is jealous about the attention that I'm getting, when people compliment me? I feel like he's trying to discourage me. But what are your ideas or opinions on why?

Whether he's insecure or not is irrelevant. He's an *kitten*, and you can do better.

So she should just dump his sorry quadriplegic butt and walk away? Wow.

Not really, no. It's internet talk and should be taken at face value. On the internet every man is an abuser and should be dumped right away if he even blinks funny, every parent knows squat about raising children, everyone is racist, sexist, immature, stupid, follows the wrong diet, fat shaming, skinny shaming, body shaming, disrespectful and ultimately the reincarnation of Hitler.

Floridaman789

Men are jealous when there wife's lose weight. They don't like the attention there wife's get from other men. My wife is loosing weight and I can't be happier for her men need to support their wife's. Tell him he has nothing to worry about you love him what ever size you are. You can always motify his favorite meal and make it healthy.just don't let him discourage from loosing weight. Keep up the good work if he says mean thing shower him with kindness.

Blackdawn_70631

I'm in the same boat. When I first met my husband I was underweight, and it took me a whole year of doing nothing to finally gain 50 lbs.
That's how underweight and thin I was.
Then I gained just a tad too much, so I went on a diet, started exercising more. And it was then when he started turning hateful, started saying how I'm too thin. When all my numbers still say I'm overweight by a few pounds.
My clothes are extra baggy now and he'll give me a look of disgust then say I look like a Crack wore cause my clothes are baggy.
It was when I hit Maintain when he stopped being stupid.
He'll still bring out the cheesecake and tell me, but you can't have a piece cause you're watching your calories.
I laughed and told him I'm eating more than he is now.
He was going to the gym, and had lost 70 lbs years ago. Then medical issues came up, had a bacteria infection in his lungs, phenomena, lung collapse, pluralcy (the liquid around your lungs when it jellies). Then he started ripping muscles in his shoulders, now it's believed he has arthritis in his shoulders.
Everything is shot. I'm working out and he just gave up then started bashing on me cause I wasn't getting fat and lazy with him.
But I knew the man I married was still in there somewhere. So for Christmas I bought him a Fitbit Flex (I have a Surge). Then he had picked out a bunch of lil workout equipment for Christmas which I bought. I bought him the kind of protein powder he wanted an everything.
He goes back to the gym in January and it's filled with the new year's resolution people.
So he stopped going and is back to square one, but still meal logs on his flex and has told me he lost weight.
Now he's saying he wants to try to go back to the gym again.
I've been supportive of him this entire time. I've put up with his nasty comments and everything because he's having his own problems.
It's real hard. But if your relationship means a lot to you, you'll deal with it and support him in this time of crisis even though you're the one getting bashed on.
He's a man and most men have this dumb habbit of thinking about themselves. Not even considering who they hurt. So you have to treat them like a child sometimes.