WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2016

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  • tryingtolive1
    tryingtolive1 Posts: 245 Member
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    Been a rough couple of emotional days so eating has been an issue. Wish I could just move forward but with the cruise looming on the 20th I feel I am stuck in hell. Will we work it out will we just throw it all away. How will it be spending 7 days with someone who does not know if he wants to spend the rest of our lives together or part ways. I am an emotional mess and my body is paying for it. No exercise very little food or sleep. God why can't I be stronger?

    Thanks for letting me vent.

    Anne in Wisconsin
  • jmkmomm
    jmkmomm Posts: 3,247 Member
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    Michele, could it be that the standards in the country he lives in (sorry I can't remember) are totally different than in the US? and that is what the guidelines the therapist is going by?

    Joyce
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,653 Member
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    Anne - that is a corner that no one would want to be in. Is there any way you could get out of the crusie? Sell it to a friend, get a refund??? sell it on ebay/craigslist.... OR buy him out and take a girl friend? I don't know anything about this - just seems like a yucky situation.

    Kim
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
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    :)
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    edited February 2016
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    Michelle, sometimes when a 'child' ... I am assuming that he is more of an adult; needs to grow up himself; and, therefore you don't have any control over him, or his choices. Hardest thing to do is step back and give him his room. Then tell him that until or unless he is willing to understand and abide by your rules ... he is on his own. Sounds like a big overgrown baby who does not take responsibility for his own acts or tries to justify his behavior by blaming you. As long as our boys were in HS; they lived by our rules. I don't think it is unconceivable for you to know where he is, who he is going to be with; and, set a curfew. But, it seems that kids now a days think they should have full rein over themselves. Not true; and, if you continue allowing him to badger you ... you are the one giving in. Of course, we did not have that much trouble out of our kids. They were allowed to make mistakes and for those, they took full responsibility for. Even when my sisters and I (and our spouses) came home ... if we went out our mother asked us where we were going and what time we'd be home. We did it because we knew she would not be able to sleep until we got home. As teenagers we had to call out to her that we were home; she'd say 'ok' (unless we broke curfew - then she was standing it the hall telling us that we had lost our driving privileges and that we would not go out the next weekend. She was fair with her discipline and she did not 'forget' it either. Neither did we. I think kids need to know their boundaries as long as they are living with you. Blame games should never be tolerated; as you say, it's in the past - forget it. Dredging up the past won't make it go away.

    We were finally able to get our youngest one to stop driving while drinking, he just to had to call us and tell us where he was. Even as an adult, he doesn't hit the bar scene any more and if he is too drunk he will stay with the friends he has gotten drunk with or he will sleep in his car and drive home the next day. Now that he is married, he doesn't drink much anymore and usually he is with others and there is a DD or the sofa or a bed.

    You need to take care of yourself. I know that 'stress' can make me have a seizure; one thing I have learned is what my stressors are ... one being my DDnL#1 (unfortunately). I take Dilantin and Lamictal as well as Geodon (which along with my Seroquel acts like an anxiety pill); but, it is a form of seizure meds. The 6-month driving restriction is 'law' ... you are not supposed to drive for 6 consecutive months from the last seizure. In a period of 24 months; 18 of them were 'no driving'. It was hard to figure out who and how I could know that I could get to agree to take me back and forth for MD appointments and my DH did all the grocery shopping and running of errands. For YOUR sake, step back and let your child take responsibility for his actions. You cannot keep them from 'crashing and burning' if that is what they are hell-bent to do. It's sad; but, they need to learn what the consequences for their actions are ... most time very unpleasant.

    My BF tried to bail out her grandson, she raised from when he was a toddler; but, when he started stealing from her to pay for his drug habit, she allowed him to stay 'in jail'. That was sobering (but at the age of 17); they confined him to solitary; you would have thought he would have learned; but, he did not. She keeps saying that she is going to throw him out; but, then he goes to her sisters' houses until they get tired of him, too. He is not going to change; and, he would always find a way to turn the tables on my BF. She's gotten tougher on him and has told him that he has a month to get a job; and, move out. It is a difficult job; but, letting them know that you will no longer allow him to 'use you' and that is what it sounds like he is doing. IMHO.
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,675 Member
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    kimses2 wrote: »
    Swam 50 laps this morning. Now am sitting by the fire taking it easy. I'm closing in on a few jobs with final interviews next week, so I'm feeling optimistic. I haven't had time to get bored yet and think I could get used to not working. 5 more years!

    Kimses in MA

    Awesome!
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,675 Member
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    -
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    <3
  • oceanmelody
    oceanmelody Posts: 397 Member
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    Thanks for all the stories about arthritis--as you can imagine things are getting to the grumpy and beyond stages around here. Trying to offer support without " mothering " too much. Trying to take it one day at a time. Hopefully the PT will have some good advice.
    Michele, one of my relatives had a few seizures and was restricted for six months, but had no more of them and was allowed to get back behind the wheel. So if it is not epilepsy you might be just fine. You know my heart goes out to you!
    Kinses, I am in awe of your 50 laps!
    Betty
  • TheRealMsWolf
    TheRealMsWolf Posts: 100 Member
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    tryingtolive1 wrote: »
    Been a rough couple of emotional days so eating has been an issue. Wish I could just move forward but with the cruise looming on the 20th I feel I am stuck in hell. Will we work it out will we just throw it all away. How will it be spending 7 days with someone who does not know if he wants to spend the rest of our lives together or part ways. I am an emotional mess and my body is paying for it. No exercise very little food or sleep. God why can't I be stronger?

    Thanks for letting me vent.

    Anne in Wisconsin

    Anne, you vent away as much as you need to. Be gentle with yourself. Lean on people. You will get through this, whether the two of you are together or not.

    Kristan
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,972 Member
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    tryingtolive1 wrote: »
    Been a rough couple of emotional days so eating has been an issue. Wish I could just move forward but with the cruise looming on the 20th I feel I am stuck in hell. Will we work it out will we just throw it all away. How will it be spending 7 days with someone who does not know if he wants to spend the rest of our lives together or part ways. I am an emotional mess and my body is paying for it. No exercise very little food or sleep. God why can't I be stronger?

    Thanks for letting me vent.

    Anne in Wisconsin

    <3 stay in the moment.....don't think about things other than what you are doing at this exact moment.....also consider adding meditation to your day...you can walk through this with dignity, value, and worth, and enjoy the cruise. <3
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,972 Member
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    kimses2 wrote: »
    Swam 50 laps this morning. Now am sitting by the fire taking it easy. I'm closing in on a few jobs with final interviews next week, so I'm feeling optimistic. I haven't had time to get bored yet and think I could get used to not working. 5 more years!

    Kimses in MA

    :) very impressive exercise....enjoy your time of not working before you get the job you're meant to get. :)

  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,972 Member
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    fanncy0626 wrote: »
    Stronglifts Workout

    Squats-1X5X 65/75/85/95/105/115, 5X5X 120
    Sumo squats-5X5X105
    0HP-1X5X 45/50/55, 5X5X 60
    BP-1X5X 65/70/75, 5X5X 80
    BR-5X5X 85
    DL-1X5X 150

    I have to laugh at myself for not being able to add correctly! I thought I was going to increase my weight on the squats today to 125 and after I was done I realized that I needed to add five more pounds! I guess that it has to be my goal for next time now.

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota

    :) I love reading about your weight training....it inspires me to hear that you continue regularly....I have added two pounds to my lifts by using my adjustable wrist weights. I am adding weight gradually but what I'm doing is challenging and I've kept to a regular schedule for two weeks.

  • Poerava14
    Poerava14 Posts: 1,069 Member
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    Michele- Thinking of you and sending huge (((hug))).
  • mollywhippet
    mollywhippet Posts: 1,890 Member
    edited February 2016
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    Hello everyone! I hope you all had a great day. I'm so sorry to hear about Michele! She is one who I always considered to be pretty indestructible. I hope she's not in too much pain. It has to be awful! Along with all the rest of what's going on. Poor thing!

    My son came to the studio today and glazed one of the yarn bowls I threw on the wheel, and added an I love you on the bottom. Then he ran out of oxygen and I rushed him to the supply store to get his bottles refilled. It was really scary. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but he begged me not to. We got the oxygen and he recovered pretty quickly.

    My step-grandson has been sick and missed a few days of school. Today when I took them to school he was coughing a lot. I pulled a roll of lifesavers out of my purse and gave them to him to serve as cough drops. When I picked him up he thanked me and said they really helped, so I stopped at the store and got him more for tomorrow. He's such a good kid. I hate to see him not feeling good. And the cough always seems to hang on forever. The little kids haven't caught it yet. Every morning I ask them, who feels fabulous today? And they all say I do, I do! But today the little ones were telling me that Austin does NOT feel fabulous today.

    Today at the studio I cut one of my fingers on a cardboard box. No biggie, just annoying. Then tonight I cut a finger on the other hand when I was making dinner. I guess I felt unbalanced and needed a bandaid on the other hand to even things out.

    Well, we just had a dog fight, so I'm taking Spot in the bedroom away from Molly. Have a great night!

    Sylvia
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,972 Member
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    The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want the MOST for what they want at the MOMENT.

    Strategy is stronger than willpower.

    1056287i3zmwzup2m.gifStats for today:
    16,000 steps
    151 minutes of dog walking
    89 minutes riding the exercise bike
    weight training---added 2 pounds to my lifts :)
    line dance class

    :) I heard from the nurse at the neurologist's office that all my blood tests were negative which should sound like good news but doesn't answer the question of what's causing the pain, tingling, and numbness in my legs....I'll see the doctor tomorrow.

    <3 Barbie from beautiful NW Washington
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,675 Member
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    stats for the day:
    ride hm 2 gym- 12.02min, 14.7amph, 153mhr, 2.9mi = 116c
    spin- 42min, 88ar, 112aw, 10-15g 148mhr, 18.2mi = 354c
    ride gym 2 dome- 6.59min, 12.1amph, 136mhr 1.4mi = 78c
    ride dome 2 hm- 18.20min, 8.6amph, 149mhr, 2.6mi = 189c
    total cal 737
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    Barbie - thanks! You are doing awesome! I also used my wrist and ankle weights to increase by a pound at a time. Slow and steady is a great way to go.

    Kimses - I'm glad you are enjoying your time off and have a lot of job possibilities!

    Sylvia - scary. I'm glad he was able to recover quickly. Great story about the lifesavers.

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota
  • tryingtolive1
    tryingtolive1 Posts: 245 Member
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    Thanks for all the support and advice ladies. As far as getting money back or paying him out for his is not an option this late in the game. He called tonight and asked me to come over to help with cruise stuff. Asked me to come over tomorrow to finish up. Then said maybe I could bring the dresses I am taking over this weekend so we can figure out what we are wearing on formal nights etc. Then maybe go to mall to use Godiva cards we have. Who knows what he is thinking. All confusing one behavior one day another the next.

    I ate dinner tonight so that was a big plus. He bought pizza.

    Venting done for the night.

    Anne from Wisconsin
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited February 2016
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    barbiecat wrote: »
    The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want the MOST for what they want at the MOMENT.

    Strategy is stronger than willpower.

    1056287i3zmwzup2m.gifStats for today:
    16,000 steps
    151 minutes of dog walking
    89 minutes riding the exercise bike
    weight training---added 2 pounds to my lifts :)
    line dance class

    :) I heard from the nurse at the neurologist's office that all my blood tests were negative which should sound like good news but doesn't answer the question of what's causing the pain, tingling, and numbness in my legs....I'll see the doctor tomorrow.

    <3 Barbie from beautiful NW Washington

    No information is frustrating. I hope your visit with the doctor is productive and you get some answers that you can feel good about. :heart:

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