WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2016

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  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,351 Member
    edited February 2016
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    Kim - missed your pics so I had to scroll back. Looks splendid! Love the lights. Lighting is everything. I have string lights in the kitchen/diner, blue ones around the window, heart ones on a shelf, normal ones inside the wood burner with red crepe paper. My DGC wanted them on even for early breakfast! :drinker:

    Fish soup was stunning. Thought DH was going to have an orgasm. :bigsmile:

    Tomorrow the car is going to be serviced. It's its second time since new. Because we bought it new the garage comes and picks it up, services it, cleans it and brings it back to the house again. Service! ! ! :D

    Love Heather UK
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    Kim and Barbie - any type of push-up would do wall push-ups, modified push-ups even a plank! Maybe just something different than you do now added to this week. For those of you that are on a plateau this is a good way to change it up and move through it.

    Kim- your party room looked fantastic! Glad everything went well for you last night!

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota
  • miriamwithcats
    miriamwithcats Posts: 1,120 Member
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    Kim, just lovely.

    Cheri and the other person married to a guy on the autism spectrum. I just read a great book on autism that you HAVE to read! It is called Neurotribes, and goes in to the history of the diagnosis and "treatment" over the last two centuries. I have a brother on the spectrum but never diagnosed, and it really helped me when I realized what he was good at and what he sucked at and adjusted my expectations accordingly. This book goes in to a lot of detail about the different "symptoms" one might see, how each individual in the spectrum is unique, and how the disability isn't in the person as much as in society's inability to make accommodations (something the general disability advocacy and the mental health advocacy communities have been saying for a long time). It talks about how much people with this way of learning and thinking are important to our society, much as Kay Redfield Jamison's book, Touched with Fire, does for mood disorders. Two of my three sons would probably be diagnosed on the spectrum now too. It mentioned that toe walking is a marker trait- my former husband, my oldest son and my grandson are all toewalkers! So my grandson may be on the spectrum too. All are very bright people. Anyway, I highly recommend running out and buying a copy, or at least getting it from your local library (the Iowa City library had five copies at least!).
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,701 Member
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  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
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    miriamwithcats wrote: »
    Kim, just lovely.

    Cheri and the other person married to a guy on the autism spectrum. I just read a great book on autism that you HAVE to read! It is called Neurotribes, and goes in to the history of the diagnosis and "treatment" over the last two centuries. I have a brother on the spectrum but never diagnosed, and it really helped me when I realized what he was good at and what he sucked at and adjusted my expectations accordingly. This book goes in to a lot of detail about the different "symptoms" one might see, how each individual in the spectrum is unique, and how the disability isn't in the person as much as in society's inability to make accommodations (something the general disability advocacy and the mental health advocacy communities have been saying for a long time). It talks about how much people with this way of learning and thinking are important to our society, much as Kay Redfield Jamison's book, Touched with Fire, does for mood disorders. Two of my three sons would probably be diagnosed on the spectrum now too. It mentioned that toe walking is a marker trait- my former husband, my oldest son and my grandson are all toewalkers! So my grandson may be on the spectrum too. All are very bright people. Anyway, I highly recommend running out and buying a copy, or at least getting it from your local library (the Iowa City library had five copies at least!).

    Thanks for the recommendation. I'll look into the book. As someone who worked in the public elementary schools for 8 years as an Instructional Assistant in Resource I fully understand "when I realized what he was good at and what he sucked at and adjusted my expectations accordingly" as I did this with all my little students on my own and as a part of their IEP. My husband and daughter are both extremely intelligent. My daughter referred to herself throughout her school career as "twice blessed" - gifted and disabled! The question my husband and I grapple with at periodic intervals is how much I should accommodate "who he is" and how much he should accommodate "who I am" being the nuerotypical in the relationship. It is not an equal equation. And then when we all get together it's me running around accommodating each of them and my son (who has no tolerance for his father or sister) and it is stressful and mentally/emotionally exhausting. AND neither of the 3 of them remotely understand the stress they "inadvertently" put me under just by being who they are...oy vey!

    I'm going to go look for the book right now! Love your take on things Miriam as you are so well versed!

    Cheri Fairlawn oHIo
  • terri_mom
    terri_mom Posts: 748 Member
    edited February 2016
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    Mary – I do pushups at my desk, so I’m not on the floor, but at an angle that my hand pain can tolerate. Today I did 22 pushups, but I will join you. How many do I do tomorrow?

    Kim – Not this Terri. My husband has traumatic brain injury from getting hit by the school bus in first grade. That definitely creates its own problems, and I admit that I am not always as tolerant as I could be about his challenges. Especially when it is something that negatively affects my Dad, and dad makes sure to tell me how much it is bothering him. I hate being in the middle like that. They are both so alike and so opposite at the same time.

    Not that I expect anyone to be, but if you are interested, here are 2 Websites to view DS's current status in bowling situations:
    http://www.wihsbowlclub.com/districtStandPage.php?id=1
    http://www.metromilwaukeeusbcyouth.org/tournament-standings-.html
    His name is Payne Fakler. We only have 3 more tournaments left for this "season"; Pepsi Regionals March 19, State April 15 - 17, and Junior Gold in Indianapolis in July. He didn't do well this past weekend at the H.S. singles tournament, but I guess we'll keep him anyway :D I love seeing him coach his friends.

    Now, back to the ice pack on my hands.

    Hugs Again ! ! !

    Terri in Milwaukee
  • Annr
    Annr Posts: 2,765 Member
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    @Katla49 Once when I was at my resort pool I had my flip-flops stolen! (Well someone took mine, while I was in the conversation pool) I was able to borrow another friends flip flops, but it was a wee bit awkward trying to explain THAT to my husband because the acquaintance was a dude. I found them the next day though!
    Have you every FLOPPED out of your flip flops? THAT is so embarrassing! I seem to always look behind me, like what WAS that, that tripped me...ooooh it was my own stupidity!! hahahaha!

    Becca
    clumsy in Oregon
  • TheRealMsWolf
    TheRealMsWolf Posts: 100 Member
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    Kim - sounds good! ;)
    Barbie- :) I agree that forgiveness is freeing.
    Heather - I may need that recipe! o:)
    Miriamwithcats - I will look for the book as well. My son was a toe walker for years and I've long suspected.
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
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    Terri- tomorrow I add a Nother set so it will be six sets of 10. However do as much as you can.

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota
  • drkatiebug
    drkatiebug Posts: 1,946 Member
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    Another one with an Aspie DH. Although he has not been diagnosed, my DGS has, and they are two peas in a pod. Thanks, Miriam, for the book recommendation. I will check into it. Another one that has absolutely nothing to do with Autism, but describes mine and DH's differences fairly well is the one on love languages. We have totally different love languages. He feels loved when I do things for him like cook, clean, fetch. I feel loved when I am told so and touched. He could go weeks with no hugs and kisses and be just fine, but he takes it personally when I leave a dirty glass in the living room. We do have some things in common, like our love for walking, reading, puzzles, organization, and our grandkids, but in so many things we are different, especially foods. I like scrambled eggs, he likes fried. I like spaghetti and meat sauce, he likes meatballs. I like sausage patties, he likes links. I could go on and on.

    I did trim and tone with the 9:00 a.m. Class today. My instructor was still out sick. I'm going to do weights again tomorrow instead of her breathing. I have so much more energy when I do the weights. I went to Walmart afterward and got three workout tops, but I'm going to take two of them back. One is too tight and the other is uncomfortable around the neck and not flattering. The other fit just right! It is neon yellow and matches some pants I already had that were yellow and blue.
  • miriamwithcats
    miriamwithcats Posts: 1,120 Member
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    Dr Katie, if I wore neon yellow, I would look like a school bus! LOL

    Yes, you are describing one of the differences of neurotypicals (so cool that Cheri has the lingo!) vs Autism spectrum individuals. I constantly say that I had to learn to not depend on my brother for emotional support- it is just beyond him, but if my air conditioner is broken or I need to borrow money, he is right there showing how much he cares. When I talked to him about how I felt, he would try so hard to "listen" but his face would be totally flat and all he could say was "okay" over and over and over again. What is funny is we were so close growing up. But I thought he walked on water! Younger sister! So I didn't realize he was "different". I am a pleasant blend of both sides (or maybe unpleasant to some?) - loved and did very well in math and sciences, but chose to go in to human development/ mental health because THAT was where I didn't "get it" and had to actually work hard to learn!
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,701 Member
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    Z
  • terri_mom
    terri_mom Posts: 748 Member
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    Mary - I can do 6 sets of 10, but can't even imagine doing 60 in a row without stopping. I'm going to do a set of 10 before bouncing on my ball, then "jump in with both feet" tomorrow. Yay ! ! !
  • kimses2
    kimses2 Posts: 218 Member
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    I'm back in the swing of things. That was a nasty cold (not totally gone yet). Now...to stay healthy for a while!
    30 min P90X3 and 40 min on the elliptical.

    No way I can keep up with this thread :smiley:

    Fingers crossed for tomorrow -- I have an "offer discussion" call for a new job. I'm not planning on anything until I have an offer in hand.

    (p.s. I'm happy today because my husband got referred to a sleep clinic!)

    Kimses in MA
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,799 Member
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    Holy cow..maybe bratty boy is on the spectrum.. Could be the furnace guy calls him anal with a capital A.. And he does have alot of the traits that alot of you are speaking of.but I will tell you right now he won't do a think about it :#
  • oceanmelody
    oceanmelody Posts: 399 Member
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    I would just like to say that one of the nicest writers on here is DJ in Myrtle Beach--DJ you always know how say the right thing to people! I feel like if I ever met you you would have a visible aura or something similar! Thanks for being so encouraging.
    Also what is this about toe walkers and the spectrum? Is that in that Neuotribes book? Must read!!!!! I had a toe walker...
    Betty
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,351 Member
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    ((((((HUGS)))))) for all those with difficult husbands. <3

    Heather UK
  • Oreobug08
    Oreobug08 Posts: 4 Member
    edited February 2016
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    I am trying to break my sugar habit. My mind is willing but my spirit - especially at work - is weak. Had a whole bakery donut today and am so disappointed in myself. Here we are near dinner time and I only have 197 calories left to eat. Sigh. Anyome out there who has kicked the sugar addition?
    Natalie
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited February 2016
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    Betty: I agree with you. DJ is a wonderful person. :flowerforyou: Heather: I'm taking the liberty of assuming the hugs go to all of the women with husbands. Thanks! :devil: :wink:
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
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    grandmallie wrote: »
    Holy cow..maybe bratty boy is on the spectrum.. Could be the furnace guy calls him anal with a capital A.. And he does have alot of the traits that alot of you are speaking of.but I will tell you right now he won't do a think about it :#

    I've remained quiet on the topic of your hubby. He does seem like he has Asperger's type behaviors. My husband refused marriage counseling. I got him to go. Thankfully the therapist was a great one for him. He refused medication. Got him to try it once and got very ill and that went out the window forever. He has made many behavioral changes for the better and it is something he works on all the time. He went from a man who raged about everything that was wrong, going from 1 to 1000 in seconds leaving the kids cowering behind me, appearing to be the most selfish person I could have ever chosen to be married to, estranged from any and all family members (while being best pals with coworkers) to someone entirely different once diagnosed and having these behaviors explained to him as they appear to neurotypical people-like his wife and kids.

    It is a daily fixture in our lives:

    ...gets up from chair, announces he's going to bed, climbs the stairs and is done with his day without a thought as to how it appears to me....I call after him "good night, love you"...he sheepishly returns to the room gives a kiss and says goodnight.

    ....parks car in store lot, gets out, stands with back to car and key in hand.....sometimes I sit there to see how long it will take him to realize I haven't gotten out of the car yet....his thought process is "I am going to Sam's Club. I have parked the car. I got out. Time to shop." Very over focused on purpose at the moment.

    ....went out to his car to take dog to get nails trimmed today, car wouldn't turn on, battery dead, gets out of car sputtering a slue of $%^^&* words inappropriate for the event occurring at the moment, leaves me and dog sitting in car wondering what he's planning as he goes back in house.....

    I love him to death, will stand by him forever, but it is a trial living with someone with Asperger's. It's like living the title of a great book on the subject "Alone Together".

    I had a huge decision to make back when we went for marriage counseling and WE chose to stay together because the diagnosis explained all that was/had gone on with him and his behaviors/thought processes for so many years. An aha moment to say the least. But from that time forward I started putting me first and had he not initiated changes I was gone.

    This weekend ( as he does periodically) he announced we weren't right for each other and he wasn't meeting my needs and I wasn't meeting his....I smiled and said okay then I'll help you pack a bag....I told him what did he expect me to say yet again to this pronouncement...he sulked all weekend and gave me his typical silent treatment...it hurts yes but through therapy I have learned how to hurt less....Monday morning he comes to me with a smile and says he going to keep me and off he went to continue his job search....my life with an Aspie husband. Oy Vey!

    Cheri hanging in there in Aspie Land
    Fairlawn oHIo

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