Valentine's Day chocolate if she's overweight?
_Waffle_
Posts: 13,049 Member
With Valentine's Day approaching I'm sure many guys here feel the pressure to buy your sweetheart flowers or chocolate. Should I still get her chocolate if she is struggling to lose weight? I know she loves chocolate but I think I should just get flowers and skip that part of the event.
Do you ladies mind if we don't send chocolate or is that calling you fat without saying the word?
Do you ladies mind if we don't send chocolate or is that calling you fat without saying the word?
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I ate chocolate even when I was losing weight. I would have personally considered it a thoughtful gift. But women are individuals and if someone is in doubt about how a gift will be received, it may be a good idea to just ask.0
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If VDay is important to her, then for the love of dog, you had better do something even if it's not chocolate. Personally, I'd get chocolate and then plan something else in case the chocolate doesn't go over well, but not doing something will likely get you in more trouble than getting unwanted chocolate.
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My husband (fiance at the time) got my an edible arrangement last Valentine's Day... Sweet but practical when I was trying to lose weight for the wedding!0
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i eat chocolate all the time lol
if youre giving it as a gift, opt for a smaller box of higher quality chocolates.
i would also do something else in addition to it
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If chocolate is a tradition for the two of you or something, skipping it might be taken the wrong way if she's sensitive, but otherwise just get creative and give her something else!
I will add to this - the only thing that is SURE to get you "in trouble" is probably to give her, like DIET chocolate, haha, no sugar added or Skinny Cow brand or something. Don't do that. 0 -
I told hubby no sweets- put the cash he would have used on an iTunes gift card. If he gives me chocolate I would not feel supported.0
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If she loves chocolate and is likely to expect some, maybe a smaller box of expensive, high quality chocolates would be a better choice than a huge selection box.0
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do something different with the money that she would appreciate, like a massage. flowers and chocolate are so cliché anyway
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I am with @samgamgee . One very, very good chocolate can set you back nicely.
And GUYS. The world is full of flowers that aren't a dozen long stem red roses. Get a tip from your florist and do something different this year.0 -
I eat chocolate all the time. I'd actually prefer to be given flowers, then go out to have a piece of cake together.0
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@_Waffle_ this is a good question.
I would say, if she's open with you about her effort to lose weight, then just ask her! "Hey love/sweetie/honey/schnookums, I was wondering if chocolate is something you would enjoy for Valentine's day this year, or if you would like to go a different route if you feel it will help you with your health goals."
When I was really struggling, my sweetie left me one truffle every day the whole month of February It was perfect! I couldn't binge, and got in a great habit that I keep to this day (one dark chocolate piece per day keeps the sadness away).
If you don't feel like you could ask her this question, then at most get her a TINY box of very very special chocolates (just 2-4 little fancy truffles)...not those cheap drug-store monstrosities. There are lots of other options too! Go out for a fancy dinner, flowers, go on a beautiful hike/picnic together, treat her with a fancy charcuterie picnic (cheese/dried meats/pickles/olives/crackers/veggies), buy a fancy bottle of wine, just shower her with attention, compliments, and things she loves
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It's totally up to the lady! Use what you know about her to get her something appropriate (ie: jewelry, something from her favourite store or a gift card). If she still is eating chocolate in moderation, get her something small you know she'll like And if you don't give her chocolate it's definitely not calling her fat- especially if you give her something more thoughtful to her interests and you know, don't draw attention to it by saying something like "I didn't get you chocolate because I know you're watching your weight." 0
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If she really loves chocolate, hit up a chocolatier and buy her a small amount of a super fancy chocolate or a few special truffles. Quality over quantity (even if she splurges, it won't be more than a few hundred calories), plus it shows you put effort in.0
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I think it depends on the woman. If she avoids chocolate on a daily basis or has expressed problems with overeating chocolate then not giving chocolates or giving only a small box would probably be best. It could show that you are aware of her habits and care enough to support them.
If she regularly eats chocolate and has no problems with portion control then give her chocolates if you'd like.
You could also opt for something like Edible Arrangements. They have bouquets available where some of the fruit is dipped in chocolate.0 -
amgreenwell wrote: »do something different with the money that she would appreciate, like a massage. flowers and chocolate are so cliché anyway
Agreed. Take her out, do something fun!
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+1 for the smaller amount of better chocolate if it's already a thing you do for Valentine's.
Otherwise, I'd either ask her directly if she'd rather you do something else (my relationships are always up-front that way - I'd have already told you 'no candy for Valentine's, please' if it was a concern), or if you don't think a direct question would go over well make sure the something else is thoughtful enough that she doesn't think about the 'usual' chocolates.0 -
That's a difficult one, isn't it? My mum knows I'm trying to lose weight and the last time I visited, she gave me several jars of high-fat pesto sauce and fancy pasta etc. I was pretty annoyed by that because usually she tells me that I SHOULD be watching what I eat and then I do and she puts yummy things in my larder...
With a boyfriend it would depend on a variety of circumstances: If I've ASKED him to keep all the sweets away from me, I'd probably get somewhat upset because I'd feel he's not respecting my wishes. If it's a tradition or if he knows I'm big on the self-control AND I haven't said anything, some high-quality chocolate would be welcome.
But really, chocolates are kinda unimaginative anyway, aren't they? My favourite presents have always been those where I get to spend time doing fun things with my boyfriend. So, why not make a nice voucher for a hike to a super-nice place, maybe with a packed lunch that you've weighed out, in case she wants to log it? And hey, there can be one pretty chocolate in there, too! Or a trip to a museum she's always wanted to see? Or a spa treatment...
I also wonder how the guys feel about this. I've never been interested in VD and in Germany people rarely celebrate it, so what would a girlfriend get for a boyfriend who's trying to lose weight?0 -
If chocolate is a tradition for the two of you or something, skipping it might be taken the wrong way if she's sensitive, but otherwise just get creative and give her something else!
I will add to this - the only thing that is SURE to get you "in trouble" is probably to give her, like DIET chocolate, haha, no sugar added or Skinny Cow brand or something. Don't do that.
I agree with this. It will absolutely send the message 'you don't need any chocolate' if she is use to receiving it on this day. If she is (use to receiving it) buy some super high quality stuff...there's nothing better0 -
Get her a head of cauliflower.
It sorta looks like a flower, has "flower" in it's name, and it's healthy!
You can thank me later
On a more serious note, I'm not a fan of the cliche flowers and chocolate for Valentine's Day. I like to get Mrs. Juggernaut romantic, but not traditional gifts - a massage gift certificate, something off her Christmas list that she didn't get, an overnight getaway, etc.0 -
its one day , if she wants the chocolate she should have the chocolate ...and the indulgent dinner0
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Tough to tell. I told my husband flat out, no food for Vday. You know something sparkly never goes amiss.0
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I would ask. "Hey, are you eating chocolate these days or not?"
Last year on my birthday I took the day off work. I heard my husband ask my daughter if she wanted a donut. A few minutes later, keys in hand, he said "I'm going to Dunkin' Donuts. I'll be back in a few minutes." Hooray, birthday donut! Right? Nope. He came back with donuts for him and her, that's it. He assumed I wouldn't want one because of the calories. I assumed he would know that I wouldn't care about calories on my birthday. We were both wrong.0 -
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It is Valentine's day, not Chocolate day. Unless you two have a long standing tradition where for the last 20 years you have been bringing her chocolate, since you already have reservations about chocolate being the right choice, time to become a bit more creative 0
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We always do chocolates... but since we lost weight together, we opted for a shared 1lb instead of 1lb each!
If it's tradition, do it. Otherwise, don't worry.0 -
It's one of those 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' kind of thing sadly. I say get her chocolates, but a small box of very tasty ones.0
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cross2bear wrote: »
Yes, the perfect celebration of a fake holiday is the gift of an inflated market based on the deaths of children.
*nailed it*0 -
enterdanger wrote: »Tough to tell. I told my husband flat out, no food for Vday. You know something sparkly never goes amiss.
It does if the woman is picky about those things. Either she has to keep it to prevent having the SO feel badly and be pissed that money was wasted and she has to wear something she doesn't like, or she takes it back and SO is annoyed because he thought he was doing super special and it wasn't appreciated.
With some couples, jewelry (and clothing) is a no-win situation unless it's presented as 'here's a gift certificate, pick what you like'.0
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