I'm trying to eat healthy but my Spouse isn't??

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  • inertiastrength
    inertiastrength Posts: 2,343 Member
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    If talking with her doesn't work you can always get fit and cheat on her to teach her a lesson
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,641 Member
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    I simply stated to my husband that if he wanted that kind of stuff he would have to have it outside of the house, and if he did bring it home, he needed to hide it LOL!
    So does he have a TV outside to watch sports while he snacks on what he likes?
    The control issue is yours, not his. Imposing restriction on him because there's no self control on your part is pretty selfish. How about when he wants to eat some "junk", you go up to your bedroom till he's done? That's just as fair right?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
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    fascha wrote: »
    If talking with her doesn't work you can always get fit and cheat on her to teach her a lesson

    I really hope this is a joke.
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
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    fascha wrote: »
    If talking with her doesn't work you can always get fit and cheat on her to teach her a lesson

    lol ! this may be a joke, but the reality is that when one partner starts living a healthier lifestyle, and or loses a ton of weight, there is often times a dissolution of the relationship.
  • Ws2016
    Ws2016 Posts: 432 Member
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    I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!

    Rewars yourself by increasing the size of her life insurance policy.
  • MommyL2015
    MommyL2015 Posts: 1,411 Member
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    don't eat it ....

    my ex would buy candy and all kind of crap.

    as long as it wasn't a peanut butter cup .... i left it alone.

    I have the ultimate challenge going for myself right now. My kids have huge Reece's peanut butter santa clauses in the fridge. Two of them, since Christmas. I haven't touched them. I really don't know how. I really don't know why they haven't touched them yet! LOL Reece's peanut butter cups are definitely an Achilles heel for me, but I am stronger than the delicious chocolate and peanut butter globs of heaven.

    OP, take charge of you and maybe your wife will follow one day. I don't expect everyone to change just because I did, and I still make what everyone likes to eat. I either eat less or make something else for myself. I usually just eat less.
  • sllm1
    sllm1 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    I learned recently that I'm celiac - so nothing for me with wheat - no bread, donuts, bread, cake, bread, or anything that would contain wheat (or bread).

    I felt sorry for myself for awhile. Now I suck it up. My family eats as they wish, and I don't because I can't. It's no longer tempting. Shift your mentality from "It's so tempting" to, "I'm not eating it."
  • MichelleLea122
    MichelleLea122 Posts: 332 Member
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    Maybe ask her to put all the junk food in one cabinet? Or move all your healthy snacks to a separate place? At home I have all my healthy stuff in a separate cabinet away from all the other the tempting junk food we have in the house. That's pretty much the best you can do imo.
  • MamaMc3
    MamaMc3 Posts: 213 Member
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    I think it's a question of what you want more - do you want the donut or do you want to see a loss on the scale? I'll be honest - sometimes I want the donut, but usually I want the loss. I know it's hard to ignore delicious food when it is everywhere, but you can do it! Think of your daily calories like a budget. You can "spend" it on whatever you like, but you can get a lot more food if you spend it on fruits and vegetables instead of soda and cake. It's unfortunate that your family isn't on board, but ultimately, you have to be responsible for what you eat. Maybe you'll set a good example, and your wife will decide she wants to get fit, too?
  • murp4069
    murp4069 Posts: 494 Member
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    As long as your wife isn't actively trying to sabotage you, it's up to you to make it work and not eat the donuts and fast food. Of course, you could eat them if they fit in your calories. I've been down the same road with my partner, he loves his take out and wine. It sucks when I want that second chimichanga and it won't fit in my calories, but it's up to me whether I actually eat it.
  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Nothing tastes as good as being a healthy weight feels. Decide what you want to eat, and then save up for it, or otherwise fit it into your daily allotment. Look at your calories as cash - whats going to get you the biggest bang for your calorie money? What makes you feel successful and in control? Eating the tempting food, or holding onto your commitment to your goals?

    We all have to make these choices every day, so unless your spouse is holding you down and stuffing "junk" food into your mouth, the decisions are all yours.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
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    MamaMc3 wrote: »
    I think it's a question of what you want more - do you want the donut or do you want to see a loss on the scale? I'll be honest - sometimes I want the donut, but usually I want the loss. I know it's hard to ignore delicious food when it is everywhere, but you can do it! Think of your daily calories like a budget. You can "spend" it on whatever you like, but you can get a lot more food if you spend it on fruits and vegetables instead of soda and cake. It's unfortunate that your family isn't on board, but ultimately, you have to be responsible for what you eat. Maybe you'll set a good example, and your wife will decide she wants to get fit, too?

    You can have donuts and soda and cake in moderation and still lose weight AND have an overall healthy diet.
  • LC107
    LC107 Posts: 41 Member
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    bfit2017 wrote: »
    CHALLENGE! My spouse and I have a "team challenge". If we lose a combined 10 lbs by our vacation we will go somewhere beyond what we planned. Anything over 10lbs by then we celebrate with extra spending money for the vacation. We have both been doing well.

    This is brilliant! I think I will do the same with my husband. That sounds very motivating and it still makes it a team effort. Love it! :)
  • jlahorn
    jlahorn Posts: 377 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    I simply stated to my husband that if he wanted that kind of stuff he would have to have it outside of the house, and if he did bring it home, he needed to hide it LOL!
    So does he have a TV outside to watch sports while he snacks on what he likes?
    The control issue is yours, not his. Imposing restriction on him because there's no self control on your part is pretty selfish. How about when he wants to eat some "junk", you go up to your bedroom till he's done? That's just as fair right?


    I am one of those people who hates to have foods in the house that are delicious/high calorie/low nutritional value. I exercise self control most effectively by not buying these things at all. Luckily, my husband is completely on board with this.

    When I have these foods in the house, I can and do resist eating them (usually), but I think about them CONSTANTLY. It's torture. There's a perpetual inner dialogue running.

    "You can eat just two Oreos."
    "Technically, that's true, but if I have one Oreo, I will eat 8 Oreos. I know this from experience. Even if I do eat just 2 Oreos, that will put me over for the day."

    5 minutes later.

    "If you eat all the Oreos while nobody is looking and replace them before anyone knows you ate them, it's like it never happened."
    "Shut up."

    5 minutes later.

    "If you eat the Oreos now, you can just make the calorie deficit up over the course of the week."
    "Are you on freaking crack? I get 1300 calories per day; where exactly are these calories going to be cut from? (/eats another goddamn carrot)"

    Nonstop, the entire time I'm awake.

    Why would I do that to myself? I wish that people who can keep things like Oreos and Doritos in the house without thinking about them constantly understood how lucky they are.
  • denversillygoose
    denversillygoose Posts: 708 Member
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    My bf is the same. He doesn't eat veg and he loves his sweets and soda. The easiest way I have found to deal with it is to eat all whole, healthy foods all day at work, then make a dinner that pleases all of us, then if it fits my goal, enjoy his tasty garbage. I don't expect him to change, I just have to work with it. Honestly, I struggle, but that's not on him, it's on me and my will power (or lack thereof).
  • choppie70
    choppie70 Posts: 544 Member
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    My husband is trying to bulk up and he has a very active job. He needs to eat a lot. I am trying to eat less. I have learned to not eat the foods that he buys for himself. It takes a lot of willpower, but I am not going to succeed in the long run if I do not practice using my willpower!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,641 Member
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    murp4069 wrote: »
    As long as your wife isn't actively trying to sabotage you, it's up to you to make it work and not eat the donuts and fast food.
    Sabotage only happens when the person is being dishonest about what they are giving the other person. Bringing in food that the SO likes to eat on their own is hardly sabotage.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • bumblebeecone
    bumblebeecone Posts: 96 Member
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    my husband is the same way honestly at first it drove me nuts and i was like "if he wanted to be healthy I would support it "but after about a week of fighting really bad cravings from seeing this stuff it does dissipate , now if it is something i really really like I will pinch off a tiny piece and nibble it and that makes my body go ok there you had it lol some times just smelling it and going mmm the smell good helps me, some people cant do these things with out going nuts so you gotta find what works for you with out relying on someone else to change because ultimately no one can care more about you than you, except God he does a good job :) and be nice to yourself. I see to many people including me being so hard on their self's because we want rapid results , hey if your 10 lbs lighter next year then that is progress , I have lost 55 lbs since august that's a lot but I almost gave up because I read some one had lost 50 lbs in 3 months and felt what i did fell short. How silly is that !? I realized i was being ridiculous and that I had done good but some people will tell you it isnt good enough but i say as long as we keep trying to better our self's It is perfection in motion :) keep it up and be strong and kind to yourself and your wife it will all work out
  • agbmom556
    agbmom556 Posts: 694 Member
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    My bf is the same. He doesn't eat veg and he loves his sweets and soda. The easiest way I have found to deal with it is to eat all whole, healthy foods all day at work, then make a dinner that pleases all of us, then if it fits my goal, enjoy his tasty garbage. I don't expect him to change, I just have to work with it. Honestly, I struggle, but that's not on him, it's on me and my will power (or lack thereof).

    This
    My husband loves to bake cakes. I make sure I eat 1 piece and freeze a couple of pieces. I can always fit them into my calories. Also, it makes him feel appreciated that I eat his yummy cakes. :lol:
  • heatherheyns
    heatherheyns Posts: 144 Member
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    The fact is, this is your journey, not hers. It is unreasonable to ask her to alter what she brings in the house or eats because of your issues with self-control. Don't get me wrong, I know it is hard. My husband is a tall man, where I am a short woman, so even if we eat the same things he can often eat twice as much as I can and still be in a good range for him. This will always be reality for us, even if he ate great, healthy food all the time, because he has a much higher allotment of calories than I ever will. So, I know it sucks, but it is life. You will always be around people who either can, or simply do, eat more than you or eat things you choose not to. No one can "diet-proof" your life. It is about learning to make good choices rather than removing all the bad choices. It's hard, but you can do it. =D