I'm trying to eat healthy but my Spouse isn't??
goofyrick24
Posts: 125 Member
I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!
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Replies
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Only you have control over what you eat.
Also, if you're trying to lose weight, you can fit those things into your diet in moderation. I currently have chips, cookies, gelato, rice pudding, a Dutch apple pie, and wine in the house. I eat these things every day, but I don't eat them *all* every day. I also make sure to eat plenty of vegetables and try to hit my protein and fat macros.
I'm losing weight and getting healthier eating this way.
You can lead by example, but your wife's journey is hers and hers alone - just because you've set some arbitrary eating rules for yourself doesn't mean she has to follow those same rules.2 -
As hard as it may be, do you. Expecting your wife to conform to your choices is unreasonable and will cause strife. There have been many discussions on MFP about this very same thing. Just worry about yourself and hope that she will eventually follow suit.0
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CHALLENGE! My spouse and I have a "team challenge". If we lose a combined 10 lbs by our vacation we will go somewhere beyond what we planned. Anything over 10lbs by then we celebrate with extra spending money for the vacation. We have both been doing well.0
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Have you talked to her about it, and how having those things around is hard for you? There have been many threads about 1 spouse going for weight loss, and one that couldn't care less about it or the process, and there's just no one fix. It's hard to balance it so it doesn't make her feel like you're asking her to sneak around with foods that you have issues with, but I'd say just talk to her about it. Open communication.0
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I had the same problem for a while with my husband. He is a snacker and likes his junk food too. Lucky for me, I do all of the grocery shopping and food prep. Also, he is pretty easy going and will eat just about anything I make. We have learned to compromise over time, but it took a little time
Have you spoken to her about it? Maybe just sit down and have a candid discussion. I simply stated to my husband that if he wanted that kind of stuff he would have to have it outside of the house, and if he did bring it home, he needed to hide it LOL! 0 -
Hey.
If you have room for any of those foods in your daily calories, then you can definitely have them, since all that is needed for weight loss is a calorie deficit. Of course, the 80/20 rule works wonders (80% nutritiously dense foods,20% treats). In my experience, abstaining from any food that I enjoy leads to binges worth many more calories than the actual food item I crave. If I want a donut and fear that I cannot stop at the amount allowed by my calories, I drink a large glass of water after each one or have it after lunch or dinner. If I crave more, I head on for a brisk walk or keep myself very busy. That way, I don't feel deprived and won't blow my daily calorie budget. Keeping an eye on macros (especially protein and fat) helps to keep me on track, too.0 -
I have also been known to throw entire bags of baked goods out in the back yard for the birds haha!1
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My wife also isn't dieting, but she is supportive of my life style change.
Maybe ask her to hide the goodies and things that you have trouble with. I also let my wife have her fast food, but I just don't go with her. She eats it there and I eat at home my stuff.
It works for us just fine. I hippie out works out for you. You never know your example my change her mind eventually.0 -
cushman5279 wrote: »I have also been known to throw entire bags of baked goods out in the back yard for the birds haha!
If I bought baked goods and my spouse threw them into the backyard, I would follow by throwing him into the backyard as well and locking the door.4 -
Get used to it. It's 3 years later and I can't possibly expect everyone around me to not eat things that might not fit my macros that day. Maybe mention that it's difficult for you but other than that you're going to have to bust out some self control. A lesson you would be wise to learn early tbh. Good luck!0
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cushman5279 wrote: »I have also been known to throw entire bags of baked goods out in the back yard for the birds haha!
Wow0 -
Courage, sir. Have a good plan, expect to make adjustments. Log everything and exercise. You'll succeed.0
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Um, don't eat what she buys? The reality is that this is YOUR uptaking, not hers. Suck it up.goofyrick24 wrote: »I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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goofyrick24 wrote: »I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!
It is impossible for me to escape people eating things that I try not to eat. I generally don't think it is my right to impose my needs on someone else. So I just learn to ride it out.0 -
don't eat it ....
my ex would buy candy and all kind of crap.
as long as it wasn't a peanut butter cup .... i left it alone.0 -
Been there in the past with a fiancee and it was a huge strain on our relationship. It seemed the healthier I tried to be the more junk food she tried to eat, cook, and leave around. I wish I had a great idea for you, but it was one thing among many that broke us up. We were just going different directions. I wish I had handled it better though.
I would suggest you sit down and talk with her seriously about it and maybe even get counseling if you can't resolve it. You need to find a way for both of you to be comfortable with food in the house and there must be some ways to find compromise. Understanding why it is important to each of you will help.0 -
That's fine if it's a "team" challenge. But if the other person doesn't need to lose or doesn't care to lose, then the point is moot to what the OP should do for himself.CHALLENGE! My spouse and I have a "team challenge". If we lose a combined 10 lbs by our vacation we will go somewhere beyond what we planned. Anything over 10lbs by then we celebrate with extra spending money for the vacation. We have both been doing well.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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cushman5279 wrote: »I have also been known to throw entire bags of baked goods out in the back yard for the birds haha!
I've read other people doing this and I just wonder how your spouse feels about you doing that? And how would you feel if your spouse did that to you? I'm on the assumption that the baked goods are your spouse's that weren't hidden.
OP, it's not your wife's job to keep you from eating those foods. It's on you to do it. This isn't meant to belittle you, but my husband isn't bothering with weight loss so we have snacks/treats in the house, but he has his stuff and I have mine and we learned how to either share or leave each other's stuff alone.2 -
My husband and children are also not on any diet. At first having a lot of high calorie foods around was hard for me. Now I don't care. There's glazed doughnuts on my counter now but I've learned to ignore the temptation of going over my calorie goal. You'll get to that point with time. Expecting your wife to stop eating what she wants because you're on a diet is unreasonable in my opinion.2
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makingmark wrote: »Been there in the past with a fiancee and it was a huge strain on our relationship. It seemed the healthier I tried to be the more junk food she tried to eat, cook, and leave around. I wish I had a great idea for you, but it was one thing among many that broke us up. We were just going different directions. I wish I had handled it better though.
I would suggest you sit down and talk with her seriously about it and maybe even get counseling if you can't resolve it. You need to find a way for both of you to be comfortable with food in the house and there must be some ways to find compromise. Understanding why it is important to each of you will help.
This is not necessary. This is the OP's issue - not his wife's. She is under no obligation to follow his diet rules.1 -
If talking with her doesn't work you can always get fit and cheat on her to teach her a lesson0
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So does he have a TV outside to watch sports while he snacks on what he likes?cushman5279 wrote: »I simply stated to my husband that if he wanted that kind of stuff he would have to have it outside of the house, and if he did bring it home, he needed to hide it LOL!
The control issue is yours, not his. Imposing restriction on him because there's no self control on your part is pretty selfish. How about when he wants to eat some "junk", you go up to your bedroom till he's done? That's just as fair right?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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If talking with her doesn't work you can always get fit and cheat on her to teach her a lesson
lol ! this may be a joke, but the reality is that when one partner starts living a healthier lifestyle, and or loses a ton of weight, there is often times a dissolution of the relationship.1 -
goofyrick24 wrote: »I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!
Rewars yourself by increasing the size of her life insurance policy.3 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »don't eat it ....
my ex would buy candy and all kind of crap.
as long as it wasn't a peanut butter cup .... i left it alone.
I have the ultimate challenge going for myself right now. My kids have huge Reece's peanut butter santa clauses in the fridge. Two of them, since Christmas. I haven't touched them. I really don't know how. I really don't know why they haven't touched them yet! LOL Reece's peanut butter cups are definitely an Achilles heel for me, but I am stronger than the delicious chocolate and peanut butter globs of heaven.
OP, take charge of you and maybe your wife will follow one day. I don't expect everyone to change just because I did, and I still make what everyone likes to eat. I either eat less or make something else for myself. I usually just eat less.0 -
I learned recently that I'm celiac - so nothing for me with wheat - no bread, donuts, bread, cake, bread, or anything that would contain wheat (or bread).
I felt sorry for myself for awhile. Now I suck it up. My family eats as they wish, and I don't because I can't. It's no longer tempting. Shift your mentality from "It's so tempting" to, "I'm not eating it."0 -
Maybe ask her to put all the junk food in one cabinet? Or move all your healthy snacks to a separate place? At home I have all my healthy stuff in a separate cabinet away from all the other the tempting junk food we have in the house. That's pretty much the best you can do imo.2
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I think it's a question of what you want more - do you want the donut or do you want to see a loss on the scale? I'll be honest - sometimes I want the donut, but usually I want the loss. I know it's hard to ignore delicious food when it is everywhere, but you can do it! Think of your daily calories like a budget. You can "spend" it on whatever you like, but you can get a lot more food if you spend it on fruits and vegetables instead of soda and cake. It's unfortunate that your family isn't on board, but ultimately, you have to be responsible for what you eat. Maybe you'll set a good example, and your wife will decide she wants to get fit, too?2
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As long as your wife isn't actively trying to sabotage you, it's up to you to make it work and not eat the donuts and fast food. Of course, you could eat them if they fit in your calories. I've been down the same road with my partner, he loves his take out and wine. It sucks when I want that second chimichanga and it won't fit in my calories, but it's up to me whether I actually eat it.0
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