I'm trying to eat healthy but my Spouse isn't??

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goofyrick24
goofyrick24 Posts: 125 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!
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  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
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    Only you have control over what you eat.

    Also, if you're trying to lose weight, you can fit those things into your diet in moderation. I currently have chips, cookies, gelato, rice pudding, a Dutch apple pie, and wine in the house. I eat these things every day, but I don't eat them *all* every day. I also make sure to eat plenty of vegetables and try to hit my protein and fat macros.

    I'm losing weight and getting healthier eating this way.

    You can lead by example, but your wife's journey is hers and hers alone - just because you've set some arbitrary eating rules for yourself doesn't mean she has to follow those same rules.
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,671 Member
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    As hard as it may be, do you. Expecting your wife to conform to your choices is unreasonable and will cause strife. There have been many discussions on MFP about this very same thing. Just worry about yourself and hope that she will eventually follow suit.
  • bfit2017
    bfit2017 Posts: 22 Member
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    CHALLENGE! My spouse and I have a "team challenge". If we lose a combined 10 lbs by our vacation we will go somewhere beyond what we planned. Anything over 10lbs by then we celebrate with extra spending money for the vacation. We have both been doing well.
  • Afura
    Afura Posts: 2,054 Member
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    Have you talked to her about it, and how having those things around is hard for you? There have been many threads about 1 spouse going for weight loss, and one that couldn't care less about it or the process, and there's just no one fix. It's hard to balance it so it doesn't make her feel like you're asking her to sneak around with foods that you have issues with, but I'd say just talk to her about it. Open communication.
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
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    I had the same problem for a while with my husband. He is a snacker and likes his junk food too. Lucky for me, I do all of the grocery shopping and food prep. Also, he is pretty easy going and will eat just about anything I make. We have learned to compromise over time, but it took a little time :smile: Have you spoken to her about it? Maybe just sit down and have a candid discussion. I simply stated to my husband that if he wanted that kind of stuff he would have to have it outside of the house, and if he did bring it home, he needed to hide it LOL!
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
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    Hey. :)

    If you have room for any of those foods in your daily calories, then you can definitely have them, since all that is needed for weight loss is a calorie deficit. Of course, the 80/20 rule works wonders (80% nutritiously dense foods,20% treats). In my experience, abstaining from any food that I enjoy leads to binges worth many more calories than the actual food item I crave. If I want a donut and fear that I cannot stop at the amount allowed by my calories, I drink a large glass of water after each one or have it after lunch or dinner. If I crave more, I head on for a brisk walk or keep myself very busy. That way, I don't feel deprived and won't blow my daily calorie budget. Keeping an eye on macros (especially protein and fat) helps to keep me on track, too.
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
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    I have also been known to throw entire bags of baked goods out in the back yard for the birds haha!
  • AverageJoeFit
    AverageJoeFit Posts: 251 Member
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    My wife also isn't dieting, but she is supportive of my life style change.

    Maybe ask her to hide the goodies and things that you have trouble with. I also let my wife have her fast food, but I just don't go with her. She eats it there and I eat at home my stuff.

    It works for us just fine. I hippie out works out for you. You never know your example my change her mind eventually.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
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    cushman5279 wrote: »
    I have also been known to throw entire bags of baked goods out in the back yard for the birds haha!

    If I bought baked goods and my spouse threw them into the backyard, I would follow by throwing him into the backyard as well and locking the door.
  • inertiastrength
    inertiastrength Posts: 2,343 Member
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    Get used to it. It's 3 years later and I can't possibly expect everyone around me to not eat things that might not fit my macros that day. Maybe mention that it's difficult for you but other than that you're going to have to bust out some self control. A lesson you would be wise to learn early tbh. Good luck!
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,671 Member
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    cushman5279 wrote: »
    I have also been known to throw entire bags of baked goods out in the back yard for the birds haha!

    Wow
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    Courage, sir. Have a good plan, expect to make adjustments. Log everything and exercise. You'll succeed.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,568 Member
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    goofyrick24 wrote: »
    I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!
    Um, don't eat what she buys? The reality is that this is YOUR uptaking, not hers. Suck it up.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

  • RobD520
    RobD520 Posts: 420 Member
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    goofyrick24 wrote: »
    I'm trying to have a healthy lifestyle and diet and it is hard when my Wife isn't. She continues to buy sodas, donuts, fast food, etc and the temptation is killing me.... I don't know what to do!!

    It is impossible for me to escape people eating things that I try not to eat. I generally don't think it is my right to impose my needs on someone else. So I just learn to ride it out.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    don't eat it ....

    my ex would buy candy and all kind of crap.

    as long as it wasn't a peanut butter cup .... i left it alone.
  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
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    Been there in the past with a fiancee and it was a huge strain on our relationship. It seemed the healthier I tried to be the more junk food she tried to eat, cook, and leave around. I wish I had a great idea for you, but it was one thing among many that broke us up. We were just going different directions. I wish I had handled it better though.
    I would suggest you sit down and talk with her seriously about it and maybe even get counseling if you can't resolve it. You need to find a way for both of you to be comfortable with food in the house and there must be some ways to find compromise. Understanding why it is important to each of you will help.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,568 Member
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    bfit2017 wrote: »
    CHALLENGE! My spouse and I have a "team challenge". If we lose a combined 10 lbs by our vacation we will go somewhere beyond what we planned. Anything over 10lbs by then we celebrate with extra spending money for the vacation. We have both been doing well.
    That's fine if it's a "team" challenge. But if the other person doesn't need to lose or doesn't care to lose, then the point is moot to what the OP should do for himself.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    cushman5279 wrote: »
    I have also been known to throw entire bags of baked goods out in the back yard for the birds haha!

    I've read other people doing this and I just wonder how your spouse feels about you doing that? And how would you feel if your spouse did that to you? I'm on the assumption that the baked goods are your spouse's that weren't hidden.

    OP, it's not your wife's job to keep you from eating those foods. It's on you to do it. This isn't meant to belittle you, but my husband isn't bothering with weight loss so we have snacks/treats in the house, but he has his stuff and I have mine and we learned how to either share or leave each other's stuff alone.
  • kissedbythesunshine
    kissedbythesunshine Posts: 416 Member
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    My husband and children are also not on any diet. At first having a lot of high calorie foods around was hard for me. Now I don't care. There's glazed doughnuts on my counter now but I've learned to ignore the temptation of going over my calorie goal. You'll get to that point with time. Expecting your wife to stop eating what she wants because you're on a diet is unreasonable in my opinion.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
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    makingmark wrote: »
    Been there in the past with a fiancee and it was a huge strain on our relationship. It seemed the healthier I tried to be the more junk food she tried to eat, cook, and leave around. I wish I had a great idea for you, but it was one thing among many that broke us up. We were just going different directions. I wish I had handled it better though.
    I would suggest you sit down and talk with her seriously about it and maybe even get counseling if you can't resolve it. You need to find a way for both of you to be comfortable with food in the house and there must be some ways to find compromise. Understanding why it is important to each of you will help.

    This is not necessary. This is the OP's issue - not his wife's. She is under no obligation to follow his diet rules.

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