Embarassing Moments with Children
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I work with the elderly and, like children, they have absolutely no filter! Today my client took me to a restaurant I'd never been to. She was trying to explain how wonderful the food at the establishment is. Next, a really large woman walked in and my client said loudly, "if you don't trust my word on how good the good is, just look at her!" While pointing at the woman.
Next story. My 92 year old client took me out to lunch. When the young, cute waitress asked him what he'd like he asked her how much it would cost him to take her home.
Later this week my client and I were walking around Santa Monica and he walked around quoting lines from his son's movies like, "may the force be with you!" Then he innocently tried to steal someone's puppy they had "left alone for too long."
Final story. Took my third client to see the "Lone Ranger". After getting job seated I ran out to get him popcorn and a drink. I walk back into the theater to find him yelling my name and asking the people around job if they knew where I went.
All that in a week!0 -
My youngest brother had a screaming tantrum fit when he was 4 because my mother wouldn't buy him the leopard-print negligee he found in the clearance section at Ross.
Why did he want it, you ask? "I WANNA BE MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!" He screamed, over and over.0 -
After our 3 year old walked in on daddy peeing she announced " my daddy pees from a tail!"0
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My kid is exceptional at embarrassing me:
Standing on the train platform in the rain, a young couple walks up with plastic bags on their heads to protect their hair. My son yells loudly to them, "Why do you have garbage hats!?"
At about 1 year old he is in his stroller on the bus with me. A girl walks by in a skirt and he wastes no time at all sliding his hand up her skirt and to her butt. I snatch his hand away and apologize profusely, the girl's boyfriend looks at him and says, "You better watch it little man, she's taken!" Thankfully they had good humor about it.
To the African convenience store owner near our house, (despite the fact that he sees all different people all the time, we live in a diverse city). "Why is his skin brown?" (And we go into yet another talk about people are all different).
In a crowded public bathroom during the potty training process I sit my son on the toilet and bend down to get some tissue. I get peed all over, my son laughing hysterically and yelling, "I'm peeing on you!" while I frantically say, "Point down! Point down!" Everyone in the bathroom was laughing, and everyone in the bathroom was well aware that my wet jeans were wet with pee.
Another public restroom, I had to bring my son in while I took care of business. I had a pantyliner in as precaution because I knew my cycle was going to start soon. My loving son decides to ask me very loudly, "Mommy, why do you have a sticker in your underpants?"
On a bus shortly after my son turned 3. He sees this woman who is easily 600 pounds and the biggest person he has ever seen. She sits with her legs apart and her stomach hanging down and practically touching the floor and announces loudly, "That lady has a big fat belly". I distract him, hoping she didn't hear since she was a decent distance away and for once he wasn't overly loud, and get ready to get off the bus where we will discuss (again) that you shouldn't point out people's differences because sometimes those differences make them upset or sad. To a 3 year old, saying someone has a fat belly and saying someone has long hair is exactly the same thing. The woman heard and before we get off the bus she decides to be a total snot and tells him, "You're a mean little boy, you owe me an apology" he has no idea why he is "mean" which is a bad word to a 3 year old and looks like she just smacked him in the face. As we get off the bus I'm a mixture of furious and embarrassed. My son is not a mean kid, he just noticed a difference and pointed it out not knowing that having a big fat belly was BAD and not just simply another difference in people.
Trying on dresses with my son, who is 5 now. In the dressing room I try on a dress that has promise so I step out to look in the big mirror. He decides to follow me and stand behind me and, just as someone walks in, drums on my butt and says, "This dress makes your butt boingy!" Thanks kid - I found a different dress.
My husband made an offhand comment once about our bathroom smelling like "burnt poop" because of the hair dryer getting hair tangled into it. My son, from that point forward for months, would welcome everyone into our home by informing them that our bathroom smelled like "Burnt poop".
Upon seeing a neighborhood dog that isn't neutered, my son asks me "What are those things hanging down under his butt?" Since we're at a distance and I'm all for truth, I tell him, "Those are his testicles". As the person passes us, my son decides to inform them, "Your dog has huge testicles".
On the bus my son likes to sit in the big tall seats at the back. We get on this bus and he runs to the back and the tall seat next to the window in the back row is taken. Instead of finding another seat he informs the guy, a gigantic bald tattooed looking brute of a man, "You're in my seat". The guy laughed as I shushed him and moved him to another seat thanking my lucky stars that the guy didn't punch my teeth out.
There are tons more, but these are the ones off the top of my head.0 -
We were going camping for Memorial Day weekend back in May and stopped at a Walmart for supplies on the way. My daughter (yes the one in my profile pic) decided she needed to potty, so we proceed to the front of the store to the restroom. It was quite full but there was a free stall, so we both go in the same stall which we frequently do. While I'm taking my turn, she decides to ask in a very loud voice, "Mama, what's that thing you put in your booty when you make me face the wall?" I promptly put my hand over her mouth and shake my head vigorously in an attempt to make her stop. Dear God where's the nearest rock?!? (And here I thought I was being SLICK during that time of the month by making her face the wall.) "SHHHHHHH," I said loudly, but peristent she is. "You said you would tell me what you do when I face the wall when I got older and now I'm six so you have to tell me," she says in her outisde voice, despite my attempts to get her to whisper. "I'll tell you when we get to the TRUCK. PLEASE stop talking!" I could hear at least 3 other people trying to stifle their laughter and doing a piss-poor job. I swear... kids don't miss anything and they MUST have eyes in the back of their heads.
And by the way, she did NOT forget by the time we got to the truck, so I had to explain what a tampon is and what its used for. I hoped this would gross her out. It didn't...and now she wants to get her period. :sick: :sick: :sick:0 -
Lol, this reminds me of when I was in line at Walmart when my son was maybe 18 months... I glanced down only to realize he had tugged on my shirt and my entire bare breast was out for everyone to see! Oops! And Walmart of all places - where you easily have 60 people around you while you wait in line!I was breastfeeding my now 6 month old and of course my 2 year old saw this on a regular basis.I always tell her that the baby is having ba-ba ( our word for food).I had some friends over one day and was wearing one of my v neck shirts when suddenly my daughter comes up to me with her baby doll saying "ba-ba ba-ba" and proceeds to yank down my shirt....nearly exposing me to everybody lol. The other time she really embarassed me was...before I realized how quick she would pick up on things.We had watched a movie with a make out scene...she decided to try to copy it where she would take my head in her hands,stare deeply into my eyes say "I love you" and then swoops in for a big kiss.I thought she had stopped doing that and then my babysitter said that she did it to her 14 year old daughter during her very public ballet class.My babysitter then tells me that it's ok...it must mean that her parents really love each other....so I had to explain with a really red face that she saw it in a movie lol.0
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So, I'm standing in line at my local Pete's Coffee.
My son attempting to read the menu asks me: "Dad, what's a crappachino?"
"Say again, son?"
He points, "What's a crappachino?"
"Um, I dunno." I stifled a laugh. "I usually have a latte."
Then he gets up to the front of the line, looks at the barrista and says, "I'll have a castratti." [See also, castralto, castration, etc.]
I grimace and look down only to realize he's pointing at the biscotti. Whew!0 -
When I was a kid, I was SUPER independent. When I was about 6, my mom took me to a department store at the mall. While she was shopping, I decided I had to go potty. Being in a department store I'd been in multiple times, I knew where the bathroom was, so she let me go.
Except I confused the emergency exit door for the bathroom door...and set off the entire store's fire alarm. Womp.0 -
While travelling by coach, I encountered a very annoying boy seating right behind me and who seemed to be at his happiest when kicking my seat while singing the Tide commercial music non-stop hitting rythmically a... Tide box... The trip was 8 full hours in and I just couldn't take it anymore. At some point, after his mom told him that Santa wasn't gonnna bring him anything that year cause he was a naughty boy (pfff), I turned around and to the side and did the slice-your-throat signal to him. He narrowed his eyes but did nothing else. In fact, for the next 2 hours he was quiet as the dead. I didn't think anything of it...
At some point we stopped at a rest stop, a huge place/restaurant with hundreds of tables outside for the people to enjoy the sunshine. It was summer... Greek summer... more like hell on earth. So, I am 22 years old, with braces and zits and notice that all the tables outside the place were occupied by soldiers... young army hubba-hubbas everywhere. In my eyes, that place was Hunksville! So, I stay back to freshen up, meaning covering my zits, apply some lip gloss, brush hair, try to remember if I wore my wonderbra that morning... I didn't notice that Satan's spawn was left behind with me looking at me getting all excited and ready to make a grand exit in front of hundreds of soldiers... my bad...
He leaves his seat first, Tide box in his hands, still singing... I leave my seat all-systems-go a few minutes later, congratulating myself cause yes, I was wearing my wonderbra that day... I approach the steps and start descending all grace when suddenly I feel myself sliding the second from the top step... I land face first outside the coach and a few feet away from Hunksville! The little antichrist had made a goo with Tide and water (or his spit... I prefer thinking it was water) on that step and knew I was gonna get down as I was the last passenger and hyperventilating because I thought I was gonna get noticed... well, I did get noticed... I also amused about a hundred men and my fellow passengers... the antichrist too. :grumble:0 -
When our youngest was about 6 or 8 maybe, we were just leaving one of those big box stores named BJ's and across the street was another shopping center with a sporting goods store we went to quite often. Out of nowhere our youngest son says very loudly "MOM!!! Guess what? D i c k's likes BJ's!!!" Our much older children just busted out laughing hysterically as did may shoppers around us. I tried really hard not to laugh. Of course since everyone laughed about it he thought it must be funny and kept saying it the entire ride home. I kept trying to tell him thats enough in a nice way without having to explain it to him but he kept saying it anyway.0
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Wow. I'm SO glad that I decided to be child-free!! (Hilarious reading, though.)0
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Daughter was about two and a half. She was perched on my shoulders while I dialed the numbers I needed on the public pay phone. Suddenly, she begins shouting, and two year olds can really shout, "Mommy Makin' A ****o!! (They bleeped it but think what rhymes with cluck) Mommy makin a ****o!" Quickly, I tried to correct her, "Yes! Mommy's making a PHONE CALL!! PHONE CALL!"0
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My best friend and I had gone out to dinner and decided to go walk thru the mall afterward. We had my 2 yr old and my 4 month old with us. Well the baby had a very soggy diaper so we went it to Sears so that I could take her to the restroom and change her. My bestie stayed out with the stroller and 2 yr old. As they were wandering the store waiting for us a tall black man walked by (my husband fits this description) and my daughter yells out to him, "nope, you're not my daddy!" My friend was totally embarrassed and I could not help but laugh when she told me all about it!0
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Late one night after checking to make sure the four kids were asleep my wife and I where really getting into the wet, wild and nasty. Things were getting really intense and we were both getting ready to pass the finish line when we look up and my nine year old daughter is standing there watching and wants to know if she needs to call 911 because she thought all the noise was me having a heart attack. Needless to say I double check the lock on the door from now on. Told her the next day that we were pretending to be circus animals and were practicing our act. At least the animal part was the truth.
We forgot to lock our bedroom door one night while getting busy. Our youngest son who never knocks flew in our room...door slamming into the wall. Not only did we freak out and scream but so did our son. He ran away screaming and yelling MY EYES!! OMG MY EYES!!!!! SOMEONE BURN OUT MY EYES!! He was about 12 at the time. A few minutes later we hear his older siblings cracking up laughing downstairs. Of course he had to tell them what he saw. For several weeks after that every time he would see his father he called him a disgusting pig lol. My husband laughed and said some day a girl is going to be glad you saw that! lol Needless to say he has never barged in our room since. He wont come anywhere near our door now and will yell from several feet away asking if the coast is clear lol0 -
A few weeks ago we were having a cookout at my in laws. My husband followed me in the house. He proceeded to corner me in a room and start to kiss me. It was only kissing, nothing else. Well as we were walking out my 6 year old son asked, "what were you guys doing? having sex?" My husband and I were speechless. After picking up my jaw from the floor and taking a deep breath I asked him where he heard such a thing and what it means. Let me just say my 6 year old has an entire new vocabulary since starting school!0
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I was in Wally World with my four year old niece whose mother, my sister, decided she had to go to the restroom. She asked me if I would watch her daughter for a few. We were ready to check-out and standing near the registers. I looked at Gracie, so sweetly sitting in the cart seat and smiled, "Sure! We'll be fine." As soon as her mother disappeared into the bathroom, Gracie looked up at me and said, "Help! I don't know this lady!" I was mortified! I leaned over and whispered fiercely in her ear, "Gracie, that is not funny! I could get into a LOT of trouble!" She promptly yelled louder, "Help!! I don't know this lady!" I was seriously coming unhinged, especially when the cashier closest to us picked up her phone! I said , "Her mom's in the bathroom! I am her aunt! I am her aunt!" Gracie began yelling louder, "HELP! I don't know her!" I was like a deer caught in headlights with people stopping and staring as if trying to remember every detail about me, murmuring among themselves. FINALLY, my sister comes out of the bathroom!! We finally got everything straightened out, but you can BET she never left me alone with that one again!!0
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That reminds me of my little boy using the display toilet at Home Depot!0
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I was in Wally World with my four year old niece whose mother, my sister, decided she had to go to the restroom. She asked me if I would watch her daughter for a few. We were ready to check-out and standing near the registers. I looked at Gracie, so sweetly sitting in the cart seat and smiled, "Sure! We'll be fine." As soon as her mother disappeared into the bathroom, Gracie looked up at me and said, "Help! I don't know this lady!" I was mortified! I leaned over and whispered fiercely in her ear, "Gracie, that is not funny! I could get into a LOT of trouble!" She promptly yelled louder, "Help!! I don't know this lady!" I was seriously coming unhinged, especially when the cashier closest to us picked up her phone! I said , "Her mom's in the bathroom! I am her aunt! I am her aunt!" Gracie began yelling louder, "HELP! I don't know her!" I was like a deer caught in headlights with people stopping and staring as if trying to remember every detail about me, murmuring among themselves. FINALLY, my sister comes out of the bathroom!! We finally got everything straightened out, but you can BET she never left me alone with that one again!!
OMG, I think you take the cake with this story! You definitely win most embarrassing on here lol. I would feel 10 shades of red!0 -
We were in DMV last month and I was holding my 3yr old. It was dead silent. He then quickly grabbed my shirt pulled it down and blew on my boobs to make a farting sound. Everyone just stared and other moms smiled. I was beet red. I have no idea WHERE he got that from lol.0
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My mother-in-law and her mother were visiting. My then 10-month old son had just discovered the joy of opening drawers and dumping its contents. Much to my horror, he combined this new found skill with his new walking abilities and showed his Grammie and Me-me one of mommy and daddy's toys straight out of my night stand.
It made such an impact, my husband's grandmother (who has alzheimers) still brings the incident up at the best times (like christmas dinner) and it's been two years since it happened.0
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