The Sad Story of Ricky Naputi....Who was to blame?

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  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    Since I am currently studying for the bar exam, and I'm pretty up on crimes at the moment- husbands and wives owe each other a duty because of the nature of their relationship- therefore if the wife has breached that duty she can be charged with criminal negligence. Criminal negligence at one level can constitute involuntary manslaughter and if rises to a level of wanton disregard for life it could be depraved heart murder. Feeding someone 10,000k a day would definitely amount to criminal negligence or at the very least accomplice liability for encouraging him to essentially kill himself. Probably too legal an answer for this story, but it helped me apply what I've learned in a different way!

    Wouldn't it only be criminal negligence if she hadn't been feeding him? I think it would be a hard one to argue in court - Micheal Phelps consumed an estimated 8-12,000 cals per day. Ok, very different circumstances, but this guy could have argued that his body had become used to the amount of calories consumed, & his body would go into shock as a result of a dramatic shortfall. Unless she "forced" him it wasn't legally her responsibility. Just a moral one.
  • chubaway
    chubaway Posts: 1,645 Member
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    Since I am currently studying for the bar exam, and I'm pretty up on crimes at the moment- husbands and wives owe each other a duty because of the nature of their relationship- therefore if the wife has breached that duty she can be charged with criminal negligence. Criminal negligence at one level can constitute involuntary manslaughter and if rises to a level of wanton disregard for life it could be depraved heart murder. Feeding someone 10,000k a day would definitely amount to criminal negligence or at the very least accomplice liability for encouraging him to essentially kill himself. Probably too legal an answer for this story, but it helped me apply what I've learned in a different way!

    ^^^ THIS ^^^
  • Carnivor0us
    Carnivor0us Posts: 1,752 Member
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    Let me put my opinion another way. I think the wife should be smacked for providing Ricky with 10K calories a day.

    Considering her husband is dead, I'm sure she's suffering adequately enough for you.

    Nope

    Well, then go smack her then.
  • Katkamm77
    Katkamm77 Posts: 108 Member
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    Very sad story. I definitely don't blame the doctors. Without the initial weight loss he probably wouldn't have made it through the surgery.

    I kinda blame his wife for enabling him. I don't get why she would be afraid of him. He couldn't chase her down to do anything physical to her. But, I'm not in that situation so, I don't know her psychological state. I like to think that if I were in that situation I would act more responsibly. I guess I'm more cold hearted. If he whined or cried or yelled at me I would not cater to him. I would close the door so I didn't have to listen (after bringing him a healthy meal/snack/drink). It's easier for me to regulate my family's food than my own.

    Everyone is responsible for their own actions so, I definitely blame him. But, again, I don't know his reason for overeating in the first place. He should have gotten pysch help.

    My brother-in-law was as round as he was tall (about 5'5). His wife always said he didn't eat much but, while sitting round the campfire one night he snacked on at least a dozen pork sausages and an entire bag of chips. Was she blind? He had THE surgery and lost 120 lbs. He still had a way to go. He was so happy that he could walk around the block again. Within a year after his weight loss, instead of losing more, he had gained it all back. It was his fault. No one else's. He made his choices.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    But what if he couldn't get his own food? And when his wife was told to refuse to bring him food (by the doctors), and she didn't?

    Is she an accomplice in his death?

    This is something I have never understood about people who are so obese that they cannot get out of bed. Who is responsible for feeding them? They must scream and make life hell for the caregiver if they don't get what they want to eat.

    A lot of babies and children pull this off too, but it's called a "temper tantrum". The child screams and cries and begs and pleads for food, and gets what he/she wants because mom and or dad haven't learned how to say "no" or identify the real need that isn't being met.

    This man had a childlike approach to his behavior -- going so far as to plead to the TV cameras that "somebody needs to help me! Somebody fix me!" YET, he refused to do what he needed to do, so he died.

    It's sad that he died before he could connect the dots and realize that HE was the one who needed to change.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,692 Member
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    But what if he couldn't get his own food? And when his wife was told to refuse to bring him food (by the doctors), and she didn't?

    Is she an accomplice in his death?
    It's the person who died who is at fault. She didn't force food down his throat, he gladly accepted it. Did she enable him? Probably, but let's say she couldn't bring him the food, he probably order out or would have had a heart attack getting out of bed. Either way it has to start with the person. No will from them and nothing will get done.
    There was another guy who lost like 400lbs with Richard Simmons, then in a year gained it all back. Why? Cause he really didn't want to do it. He did it because Richard encouraged him. Once he was paraded around the country and no longer used as testimony, he went back home and went back to his old habits.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
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    If the wife refuses to fulfill his wishes and walks out, would she be liable for neglect (because he can't get up to get his own food)?
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    Everyone has to eat, so . . .

    What if it wasn't food, but instead cigarettes? What if Ricky was a quadriplegic, and couldn't get his own smokes?

    Would his wife have the right to withhold the smokes from him? If she did give him the smokes, and lite them up for him, and they eventually killed him, is she to blame?

    I think ultimately he was to blame, but she did indeed enable him. I think to a lesser degree she contributed to his death.



    I agree, she did. If she loved him she would have helped him, she obviously did not.
  • gunnyfuy
    gunnyfuy Posts: 16 Member
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    I saw that last night as well! I was appalled by how the wife acted when the doctors told her that her husband had to lose more weight. She pulled out her phone as if to start texting and then just stormed out of the room! And then she didn't even go to his funeral..
    Really though, I think both are to blame in the situation. Ricky couldn't walk even 20 ft, he was clearly unable to prepare his own food. His wife provided him with the unhealthy food, but I doubt she forced it down his throat, he chose to eat it. I feel bad that there was nothing that the doctors could do, but even if he had surgery, it probably would have been unsuccessful because of his relationship with food.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    Does anyone other than I wonder if maybe she preferred him to remain that way, just because she didn't want him to get better and therefore less dependent on her?

    Is that what co-dependent and enablers do? I don't know.
  • Aylawade
    Aylawade Posts: 22
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    I think the doctors needed him to lose some weight first so that the surgery was less dangerous for him. That's not their fault. As far as his wife goes I don't think she is to blame. Ricky chose to eat. An intervention should have taken place long before 900 lbs.
  • chubaway
    chubaway Posts: 1,645 Member
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    .
  • chubaway
    chubaway Posts: 1,645 Member
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    Does anyone other than I wonder if maybe she preferred him to remain that way, just because she didn't want him to get better and therefore less dependent on her?

    Is that what co-dependent and enablers do? I don't know.

    How much like-insurance did she have on him?
  • MusicInMyHeart
    MusicInMyHeart Posts: 179
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    It's pretty easy to blame the wife simply because he was *so* overweight that he couldn't even get up to make his own food. She certainly didn't help matters by enabling him. But in the end he caused his own demise. He didn't have to eat all that food but he made the conscience decision to put nearly 10,000 calories in his mouth each day. I didn't see anybody in that documentary pointing a gun at him & forcing it down his throat. I hope his story helps other people who may be in his situation.
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    I watched this. My words exactly:

    "How the hell did he get so big to begin with?"

    "His wife is an idiot!"

    "He should have tried to actually do the right thing to begin with and he would have never died."

    I'm sorry if I sound really harsh, but you don't go up to 900lbs for no reason!
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    Does anyone other than I wonder if maybe she preferred him to remain that way, just because she didn't want him to get better and therefore less dependent on her?

    Is that what co-dependent and enablers do? I don't know.

    Or Munchausen by proxy syndrome maybe....
  • niftyafterfifty
    niftyafterfifty Posts: 338 Member
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    He didn't have to eat the food that was brought to him, and I feel fairly sure he asked for everything she brought. Doctors have guidelines they follow. Ultimately, we each have to take responsibility for the choices we make, and stop blaming other people.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    This happens with many extremely morbidly obese people. It takes a village to enable a man or woman to these kinds of enormous weights. I recall another 900-1000 lbs man being admitted to Andover, center specializing in treatment of morbid obesity, and watching his dense, thick *kitten* wife sneaking all kinds of junk in to him...IN THE HOSPITAL, after he had to be cut out of their home. She specifically said "if he's not worrying, I'm not worrying". He died in the hospital weeks later.

    But unless a person has severe mental incapacitation and is being force fed the food, no I don't think spouses are responsible. They are responsible for being horrendous life partners, but they aren't to "blame". Many people have unsupportive and sabotaging spouses, and still learn to say "no" and put their health first.

    Yeah i've seen those shows, and i cant get over how the patients sneak in take out food, how the spouses often bring them whatever they want, but i think it also may be because the 900 pound man is constantly whining and screaming and perhaps in her culture the man is the King of the House. She has not learned how to say no.

    But i do put the personal responsibility on the man himself who allowed himself to get that way. He could have stopped at even 500 pounds and done something. His wife, secondary accomplis because she too could find a way to say no to him. But she was not willing to put up with whatever behavior he had in order to be strong and say no.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    But what if he couldn't get his own food? And when his wife was told to refuse to bring him food (by the doctors), and she didn't?

    Is she an accomplice in his death?

    That's like your husband saying "Honey, bring me my gun." Should you be charged as an accessory if he accidentally shoots himself and dies?

    Yeah, if you knew your husband was dumb, or inexperienced with guns, you should have thought better before doing it, but you weren't the one who pulled the trigger. In the end, the one responsible is the one with the smoking gun (or in this case, empty plate of family-sized nachos) in his hands.
  • doriharvey
    doriharvey Posts: 89 Member
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    Since I am currently studying for the bar exam, and I'm pretty up on crimes at the moment- husbands and wives owe each other a duty because of the nature of their relationship- therefore if the wife has breached that duty she can be charged with criminal negligence. Criminal negligence at one level can constitute involuntary manslaughter and if rises to a level of wanton disregard for life it could be depraved heart murder. Feeding someone 10,000k a day would definitely amount to criminal negligence or at the very least accomplice liability for encouraging him to essentially kill himself. Probably too legal an answer for this story, but it helped me apply what I've learned in a different way!

    Nice answer. :-)
    However, what about smoking. If I was a smoker and my spouse bought me cigarettes even if I had serious health issues already. Isn't that the same? Or maybe I am a thrill seeker who does stupid dangerous stunts. Where will the line be drawn. A heart patient dying during sex due to over exerting.????

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