People who say, "I'm well" in response to, "How are you?"
Replies
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Malenurse51 wrote: »To add, to hear someone say; "What do you got", of "What ya' got" is like fingers on a blackboard to me. Every television show I watch seems to use that phrase to great excess. What happened to "have"?
This hurts as much as when people say "where is it at?" or "i should of". I see language as the most important part of a first impression.0 -
I would reply 'I'm grand!' Or 'dead on' (from Ireland) If you asked me how I was! Every country has their own dialogue and ways of communicating. The English language is constantly changing.0
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midwesterner85 wrote: »missblondi2u wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »If the question is, "How are you doing?" Then I respond, "I'm doing well."
If the question is, "How are you?" Then I respond, "I'm good."
This is a common error that annoys me: "I'm doing good." Someone pointed out to me a few years ago that Webster's changed "good" to be both an adjective and an adverb. It pains me when the rules change to match common errors.
Here's a really bad grammar error I see when I shop: "10 Items or Less" It should say "10 Items or Fewer"
The thing is, our language is constantly evolving according to cultural use. Only dead languages never change. All of the "rules" we have for grammar originated as personal preference from whoever wrote that particular rule book, and that was greatly affected by how language was used at the time. It's the prescriptive vs. descriptive debate, I guess.
Yes, I'm aware language changes. It still saddens me when the change is made to accommodate poor education rather than for improved understanding.
when i was a kid, "snuck" wasn't a word. now it is. it still makes me cringe.
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denversillygoose wrote: »Malenurse51 wrote: »To add, to hear someone say; "What do you got", of "What ya' got" is like fingers on a blackboard to me. Every television show I watch seems to use that phrase to great excess. What happened to "have"?
This hurts as much as when people say "where is it at?" or "i should of". I see language as the most important part of a first impression.
Although it sounds like "i should of," they are saying "I should have..."1 -
"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know, right now you can't tell."2
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xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
I did this once, and - I kid you not - the lady said, very pointedly, "I didn't say thank you!" All I could say was, "I know!"
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i do not like being asked this by anyone who is not sincere
which is pretty much everyone0 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.0 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.5 -
I say I'm okay a lot
Whether I feel okay or not1 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!5 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.0 -
I am well. Thank you very much.0
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midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.
So - It's a "bother" to show appreciation to a stranger extending a small kindness to you. Okay. It's an interesting viewpoint but one that I can't understand, myself.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.2 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.
So - It's a "bother" to show appreciation to a stranger extending a small kindness to you. Okay. It's an interesting viewpoint but one that I can't understand, myself.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.
No, you still don't understand. It is not a "small kindness." It is not a "kindness" at all. The act of holding a door open for me is a bother. I am not going to reward behavior that bothers me.
Has anyone ever told you that the 'golden rule' really should be "Do to others as they would like to have done to them" because not everyone is the same? Here is an example of that.0 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.
So - It's a "bother" to show appreciation to a stranger extending a small kindness to you. Okay. It's an interesting viewpoint but one that I can't understand, myself.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.
No, you still don't understand. It is not a "small kindness." It is not a "kindness" at all. The act of holding a door open for me is a bother. I am not going to reward behavior that bothers me.
Has anyone ever told you that the 'golden rule' really should be "Do to others as they would like to have done to them" because not everyone is the same? Here is an example of that.
Please elaborate on the security risk thing. Unless you work at a CIA building or something? in which case, I understand you can't admit it...
We all have differing opinions, yes, however when 99% of the western world would consider this a courtesy, surely you understand that your opinion might be considered odd?1 -
wolverine66 wrote: »denversillygoose wrote: »Malenurse51 wrote: »To add, to hear someone say; "What do you got", of "What ya' got" is like fingers on a blackboard to me. Every television show I watch seems to use that phrase to great excess. What happened to "have"?
This hurts as much as when people say "where is it at?" or "i should of". I see language as the most important part of a first impression.
Although it sounds like "i should of," they are saying "I should have..."
Nope. They are saying should of. I always give the benefit of the doubt if someone is speaking, but I see this typed way too much.0 -
Pie is delicious.2
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Wow...get a life.2
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SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.
So - It's a "bother" to show appreciation to a stranger extending a small kindness to you. Okay. It's an interesting viewpoint but one that I can't understand, myself.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.
No, you still don't understand. It is not a "small kindness." It is not a "kindness" at all. The act of holding a door open for me is a bother. I am not going to reward behavior that bothers me.
Has anyone ever told you that the 'golden rule' really should be "Do to others as they would like to have done to them" because not everyone is the same? Here is an example of that.
Please elaborate on the security risk thing. Unless you work at a CIA building or something? in which case, I understand you can't admit it...
We all have differing opinions, yes, however when 99% of the western world would consider this a courtesy, surely you understand that your opinion might be considered odd?
Actually I think I do understand. Some people lack the ability to understand social cues and just can't do the "social dance" that the rest of us can do. A friend of mine who is on the autism spectrum is very much like this. He's very high functioning and thinks small social talk is "stupid" and will talk forever on subjects that he is interested in, totally missing the obvious fact that everyone around him is bored. He's like the car on the highway doing the speed limit because it's the rules, all the while drivers around him getting ticked off because he's throwing off the highway groove.
I'm not saying you're totally like this, but I get it. It's hard for some people to acknowledge others, and to BE acknowledged BY others. They would rather stay in their world, doing their own thing all the time, never being bothered by anyone.
Whatever makes you happy you know?
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SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.
So - It's a "bother" to show appreciation to a stranger extending a small kindness to you. Okay. It's an interesting viewpoint but one that I can't understand, myself.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.
No, you still don't understand. It is not a "small kindness." It is not a "kindness" at all. The act of holding a door open for me is a bother. I am not going to reward behavior that bothers me.
Has anyone ever told you that the 'golden rule' really should be "Do to others as they would like to have done to them" because not everyone is the same? Here is an example of that.
Please elaborate on the security risk thing. Unless you work at a CIA building or something? in which case, I understand you can't admit it...
We all have differing opinions, yes, however when 99% of the western world would consider this a courtesy, surely you understand that your opinion might be considered odd?
I don't work at the CIA, but I do work at a facility with controlled access, for reasons beyond personal safety.SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.
So - It's a "bother" to show appreciation to a stranger extending a small kindness to you. Okay. It's an interesting viewpoint but one that I can't understand, myself.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.
No, you still don't understand. It is not a "small kindness." It is not a "kindness" at all. The act of holding a door open for me is a bother. I am not going to reward behavior that bothers me.
Has anyone ever told you that the 'golden rule' really should be "Do to others as they would like to have done to them" because not everyone is the same? Here is an example of that.
Please elaborate on the security risk thing. Unless you work at a CIA building or something? in which case, I understand you can't admit it...
We all have differing opinions, yes, however when 99% of the western world would consider this a courtesy, surely you understand that your opinion might be considered odd?
Actually I think I do understand. Some people lack the ability to understand social cues and just can't do the "social dance" that the rest of us can do. A friend of mine who is on the autism spectrum is very much like this. He's very high functioning and thinks small social talk is "stupid" and will talk forever on subjects that he is interested in, totally missing the obvious fact that everyone around him is bored. He's like the car on the highway doing the speed limit because it's the rules, all the while drivers around him getting ticked off because he's throwing off the highway groove.
I'm not saying you're totally like this, but I get it. It's hard for some people to acknowledge others, and to BE acknowledged BY others. They would rather stay in their world, doing their own thing all the time, never being bothered by anyone.
Whatever makes you happy you know?
That is actually a pretty good description of me. I always say my ideal place to live would be a remote location where I wouldn't see another person for decades. Every once in awhile, you hear about someone being "discovered" by a wandering explorer living somewhere so remote that nobody knew they were there. In an episode of Ultimate Survival: Alaska, one of the groups came upon a cabin in the middle of nowhere with a resident that hadn't seen another person in 3 decades. There are times I would like to live my life that way. Unfortunately, I have a chronic medical condition and will die after only a few days without medication. So that will never happen.0 -
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midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.
So - It's a "bother" to show appreciation to a stranger extending a small kindness to you. Okay. It's an interesting viewpoint but one that I can't understand, myself.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.
No, you still don't understand. It is not a "small kindness." It is not a "kindness" at all. The act of holding a door open for me is a bother. I am not going to reward behavior that bothers me.
Has anyone ever told you that the 'golden rule' really should be "Do to others as they would like to have done to them" because not everyone is the same? Here is an example of that.
Well Your Welcome Anyways ,2 -
I usually go with "Not bad" or "Eh, I'm alive, so we'll see how it goes"0
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midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »xXxWhitneyxXx wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »You ever ask someone, "How are you?" and they just walk right by you and you're like, "Welp."
I hate those kinds of people.
And if you open a door for someone and they don't at least smile at you ... drives me bananas.
I just very loudly say "YOU'RE WELCOME."
You assume that it is wanted and appreciated to hold a door for someone. Personally, I don't like it when people hold a door open for me. If you ever see me and have an option to hold a door open for me, please don't.
However, I don't correct people who hold doors for me because they just get uppity and argue with me.
Out of curiosity, why don't you like it? I've always been taught it's common courtesy.
Several reasons... here are a few:
1. It usually slows me down because people get in the way trying to hold open the door by sticking around at the door for too long. I want to keep moving.
2. Some people hold doors for no other reason than to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves they are "good people." Sometimes I think people use it as an excuse to ignore things that are bad for society, or at best to tell themselves how awesome they are.
3. Depending upon the situation, it can be a security risk.
4. They expect me to be grateful for doing something I didn't ask them to do nor want them to do.
I.....really? Glad I asked. I guess.
I never realized how bothersome courtesy can be for some people lol!
It's a matter of perspective. You see it as a courtesy and I see it as a bother and a risk. It may be hard for you to understand this: We do not all have the same opinions and perspectives. Yours isn't "right," it is just different than mine. Mine isn't "right" or "wrong" either, but it is my viewpoint.
So - It's a "bother" to show appreciation to a stranger extending a small kindness to you. Okay. It's an interesting viewpoint but one that I can't understand, myself.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.
No, you still don't understand. It is not a "small kindness." It is not a "kindness" at all. The act of holding a door open for me is a bother. I am not going to reward behavior that bothers me.
Has anyone ever told you that the 'golden rule' really should be "Do to others as they would like to have done to them" because not everyone is the same? Here is an example of that.
Well Your Welcome Anyways ,
LOL ditto! 1 -
It's a matter of perspective.
The "risk" I don't quite buy but whatever.
We agree to disagree.
*****************
Yes, it is a matter of perspective.
The "risk" is easy for me to understand and not something you have to "buy".
My SO is a 22 year combat vet with severe PTSD. People standing behind him in line at the grocery, unexpected noise, sitting in a restaurant...all things with "risk" involved. Opening doors is on that list. He will politely wait or act like he is going to smoke to avoid it.
I don't ask or expect people to understand, but it isn't something to mock either.
Many of us are blessed to never have had to live anywhere near danger. Misunderstanding people who are hyper-vigilant is common.0 -
But "Doing Good" vs. "Doing Well" are quite different. lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc 0 -
This thread went a weird direction. I also don't really like people holding the door open for me because I always feel a little awkward and don't really like interacting with people, especially if I'm just a bit too far away and have to rush. I still thank people though because....if you can choose to be nice, why would you choose not to be?
All you do by not thanking people is make a stranger's day that little bit worse for literally no reason, it's not like they know you're the weirdo who doesn't like to have doors held for them and they won't use that information to not hold doors in the future. They'll just be a little unhappier, and if you really want to make them unhappy because they made you unhappy accidentally...that's revenge and revenge over holding the door is just silly.
Anyway I used to care about grammar as an English major in college but I've matured and realized that it's pretty petty to get like that over words when I know exactly what the person means. If you convey your meaning, you succeeded at languages.2 -
I love the internet!2
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