Please stop feeding my child junk!!
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We have this problem with grandma (who by the way never ever let her kids eat anything unhealthy when they were young). She lives next door and loves to spoil the kids with cookies, candy and tons of homemade (and store bought) junk food. I've seen first hand that my kids bodies function better when they eat diets low in gluten, dairy and sugar (its hereditary on my side) but those are the primary food groups at Grandma's. Then my kids come home with terrible stomach aches and constipation. We've even had to limit the time they're allowed to spend there because they started purposely snubbing the meals I cooked them because they knew Grandma would fill them with baked goodies as soon as they went to her house. I hate that it's this way but we've spoken up and were just told that it's grandma's job to spoil them and basically told we're mean for depriving our children of treats (we don't - we just don't have them in our home because they get more than enough elsewhere). I really just don't understand.1
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First-time mom here AND my mother takes care of my son. She is also the most unhealthy eater I've ever met, so I think I can speak to this a bit. My son is two, and we too are trying to teach him healthy eating habits, especially since we eat as clean as possible.
Even though we had/have a lot of healthy snacks in the house, my mom chooses to buy him cheese curls, goldfish crackers, etc. Does it suck? Yes. Have I talked to her a million times? Yes. But it's going to happen, and when I finally just started to chill over it, things became better. I still keep healthy items in the house (I even try to get healthier versions of some of the snacks I know grandma loves to give him), he eats healthy meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I pack healthy items when we go out, and if I catch someone trying to give him something I don't like, I do exactly what you did "I'd prefer if he have one of his snacks" and that is what I give him instead. However, one Oreo isn't going to hurt (so long as he doesn't have an allergy). If everyone else is having a cookie, I'm probably going to let my son have a cookie though.
Disrespecting your wishes and dismissing your concerns is the most frustrating, and it happens often to me as well, but the thing is when your child starts school or goes to a friend's house, you won't be able to control that. You can only hope that you are giving your child the knowledge he/she needs to make good choices, which is what you do with anything in life. You're doing the best you can, and I promise your child is going to know what's good for him/her. They aren't going to go for the ice cream and Cheeto bag for dinner every time because that's what grandma gave them the night before. They are with you the majority of the time, and they will learn the difference and will turn out just fine :-)2 -
On one hand, it's wonderful you want to establish good eating habits at a young age. On the other hand, Grandma should be able to give the kid a cookie without it being a national security incident.
Here's how I would handle it. Child care provider needs to be on the same page. I would look for a place that serves the same food to all the kids. They should give you menus so you know what is being served. Someone upthread said they take turns sending in snacks. I like that if everyone is on the same page.
What you do at home should cover everything else.
No. Grandma can read the memo that she is not the parent of her grandchild, and she can follow the child's parents' instructions, or Grandma can start referring to her grandchild as "the grandchild I don't get to see because I can't follow simple instructions".
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ClosetBayesian wrote: »On one hand, it's wonderful you want to establish good eating habits at a young age. On the other hand, Grandma should be able to give the kid a cookie without it being a national security incident.
Here's how I would handle it. Child care provider needs to be on the same page. I would look for a place that serves the same food to all the kids. They should give you menus so you know what is being served. Someone upthread said they take turns sending in snacks. I like that if everyone is on the same page.
What you do at home should cover everything else.
No. Grandma can read the memo that she is not the parent of her grandchild, and she can follow the child's parents' instructions, or Grandma can start referring to her grandchild as "the grandchild I don't get to see because I can't follow simple instructions".
There's no one that is going to love your kid like their grandparents. It's special and unique. Kids who have that are lucky. I wouldn't ruin that over food.10 -
serenityfrye wrote: »We have this problem with grandma (who by the way never ever let her kids eat anything unhealthy when they were young). She lives next door and loves to spoil the kids with cookies, candy and tons of homemade (and store bought) junk food. I've seen first hand that my kids bodies function better when they eat diets low in gluten, dairy and sugar (its hereditary on my side) but those are the primary food groups at Grandma's. Then my kids come home with terrible stomach aches and constipation. We've even had to limit the time they're allowed to spend there because they started purposely snubbing the meals I cooked them because they knew Grandma would fill them with baked goodies as soon as they went to her house. I hate that it's this way but we've spoken up and were just told that it's grandma's job to spoil them and basically told we're mean for depriving our children of treats (we don't - we just don't have them in our home because they get more than enough elsewhere). I really just don't understand.
From my perspective, kids won't be kids forever. I'd rather not speak in absolutes to them where teaching moderation is an option, so we use these as teaching moments. No, they won't learn the first few times they get tummy aches from bingeing, but over time it will sink in. I've watched our 10 year old start to regularly self-moderate over the last couple of years. The alternative of preventing them from learning from personal experience deprives them of learning to say the words "no thank you" when we're not around. We all take different approaches to parenting, but that's mine.2 -
You do realize that your whole grain bar has more calories than an Oreo, right?
And your honey oat cereal probably has close to the same amount of sugar as the 'sugary loaded cereal' you're speaking of.
Also, I can't even start to think about how unhealthy it is to prevent your daughter from having a cookie if everyone else has one... Just wow...
Just going to say the same thing as that wise person before me... 'good luck with that'.15 -
ClosetBayesian wrote: »On one hand, it's wonderful you want to establish good eating habits at a young age. On the other hand, Grandma should be able to give the kid a cookie without it being a national security incident.
Here's how I would handle it. Child care provider needs to be on the same page. I would look for a place that serves the same food to all the kids. They should give you menus so you know what is being served. Someone upthread said they take turns sending in snacks. I like that if everyone is on the same page.
What you do at home should cover everything else.
No. Grandma can read the memo that she is not the parent of her grandchild, and she can follow the child's parents' instructions, or Grandma can start referring to her grandchild as "the grandchild I don't get to see because I can't follow simple instructions".
Wow, if you forbid your child's grandparents from seeing them over a cookie, that's pretty sad, man.
(if you were kidding, my apologies but it doesn't read that way.)
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Occasional treats I'm fine with. And we have lots of discussions about moderation. But in my case it's not 'forbidding the kids to see their grandma over a cookie ' it's the kids willfully choosing not to eat their healthy supper so they can go to Grandma's for cake most days of the week. If we remind grandma that they didn't eat dinner so perhaps they shouldn't have cake we hear "how can you say no to that sweet face" and the kids get cake. So we have to restrict trips to Grandma's to weekends even though she lives next door. We have comprised, however, by inviting Grandma to our house to join us in the meal we're eating on a more frequent basis which seems to be working well. Same goes with video game time. Playing for a bit on weekends at grandma's is fine, but throwing a tantrum and refusing to stop playing to leave grandma's at bedtime on a weeknight isn't going to cut it. Moderation is great but it seems like everywhere the kids go these days (school, church, parties, sports) they're being plied with sugary treats which leaves mehaving to be strict about healthy eating habits at home so they get any exposure at all.1
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ClosetBayesian wrote: »On one hand, it's wonderful you want to establish good eating habits at a young age. On the other hand, Grandma should be able to give the kid a cookie without it being a national security incident.
Here's how I would handle it. Child care provider needs to be on the same page. I would look for a place that serves the same food to all the kids. They should give you menus so you know what is being served. Someone upthread said they take turns sending in snacks. I like that if everyone is on the same page.
What you do at home should cover everything else.
No. Grandma can read the memo that she is not the parent of her grandchild, and she can follow the child's parents' instructions, or Grandma can start referring to her grandchild as "the grandchild I don't get to see because I can't follow simple instructions".
There's no one that is going to love your kid like their grandparents. It's special and unique. Kids who have that are lucky. I wouldn't ruin that over food.
My father-in-law fed one of my daughters a bite of peanut butter fudge at a family picnic when she was a baby because "one bite won't hurt"; he was holding my daughter, and he was too far away from me for me to stop him. We had not introduced peanut butter, and my father-in-law is very, very lucky my daughter did not have an allergic reaction (especially given that some of his other grandchildren do have severe food allergies). From then on, when my kids were little enough to be held, he wasn't allowed to hold them, because I do not trust him.MommyL2015 wrote: »ClosetBayesian wrote: »On one hand, it's wonderful you want to establish good eating habits at a young age. On the other hand, Grandma should be able to give the kid a cookie without it being a national security incident.
Here's how I would handle it. Child care provider needs to be on the same page. I would look for a place that serves the same food to all the kids. They should give you menus so you know what is being served. Someone upthread said they take turns sending in snacks. I like that if everyone is on the same page.
What you do at home should cover everything else.
No. Grandma can read the memo that she is not the parent of her grandchild, and she can follow the child's parents' instructions, or Grandma can start referring to her grandchild as "the grandchild I don't get to see because I can't follow simple instructions".
Wow, if you forbid your child's grandparents from seeing them over a cookie, that's pretty sad, man.
(if you were kidding, my apologies but it doesn't read that way.)
I tolerate zero crap from people who do not respect my decisions as a parent. This includes my in-laws as well as my father, and this includes decisions on food (or anything else).
If my children have a no-________ policy for their kids, I intend to respect their decision. "Grandparent" is not some magical title which absolves a person from respecting the decisions made by a child's parents.9 -
This hits so close to home. If a child likes white milk, why offer them chocolate milk? A kid gets excited about fruit, why offer candy? Heck, I felt this way in my 20's and now at the age of 42 with a toddler of my own, I still feel this way. It's so hard with toddlers because they become so picky. It can be texture, taste, or just plain refusal. It's hard enough with all the other issues, why do others need to complicate it more? We do the same as you. Trying to give a child the best nutrition to start his or her life is not a bad thing. Treats are just that, treats.
Better nutrition will help them fight infections, be active, cognitive function, etc. We only have a handle on a child's food intake for such a small fraction of their life. Why people don't understand this is beyond me.
OP Keep up the great work! We cannot control people but we sure can control what happens at home and still have our child experience the love for chicken nuggets, milkshakes and M&Ms lol.5 -
I agree your kids should eat what you want them to. Keep looking until you find a provider who will comply. I work in child care and feed the kids exactly how their parents ask because it's my job.
If it's family or your friends, stick to your guns or tell them your child won't be coming over any more without you. If you think it's important don't give up.1 -
ShrinkingSloth wrote: »First child. Ha ha ha ha ha! You'll soon get it.
I have three children and taught them to make healthier food choices their whole lives. My oldest is 20 and still makes great choices for the most part. My teenager is going through that 'eat every piece of junk she can find' phase right now but was always a decent eater and my 6 yr old loves veggies and fruits and whole foods. She will gobble up the veggies off her plate at every meal before eating anything else.
It is very possible to instill good food choices in your children from a young age. Will they always stick to it? Maybe not. But they will have that foundation that was set for them from a young age at least. But just flat out giving in and saying well they won't eat what I give them IF it's healthy and then giving them crap to take the easy way out is very wrong too.3 -
All of my children are now adults. When they were little, I tried very hard to keep them on a healthy diet and to not eat junk. It is hard, it looks like your child is still very small. It gets harder...stick to your guns and try to always give them healthy options-they will get used to it and expect healthy options through out everything they do. There will ALWAYS be people who want to give your child an Oreo when you want them to have a multigrain bar-One way I got around that at class parties and day care etc. is to make a healthy option type cookie at home and bring it in for all of the kids..I.e. Carrot, oatmeal cookies-when all the other kids think that what YOUR child has is a special treat, they will want it too. Makes your child feel special that you want them to be healthy. Easter Baskets and stockings had exotic fruit and pricy protein bars that they didn't normally get. My children never felt deprived because they didn't get junk. They all still come home and want the food that I make for them-vegetables and all! ;-)0
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kshama2001 wrote: »Your daughter probably gonna hate eating healthy when she's grown if she's deprive from junk food all her childhood life
My n=1 reflects the opposite - I was "deprived" of junk as a child and it made it really easy for me to return to healthy eating. I believe it positively affected my taste buds as well.
I wasn't "deprived of junk" as a child (it doesn't actually sound to me like OP's daughter is either). My mom cooked normal balanced meals with vegetables and expected us to eat them, but I would have been permitted to have sugary cereal for breakfast (my sister was), except that I hated it. We got to have snacks in moderation and if there was a class party or birthday party we were of course allowed to partake. Fast food was a rare thing, but an occasional thing, and my mom enjoys baking cookies and would sometimes.
Despite that, it has never been hard for me to eat a healthful diet, and I have always (well, as an adult) enjoyed lots of stereotypically healthy foods, like almost all vegetables, and preferred eating a balanced diet and not had any kind of excessive desire for sugar (in fact, I dislike overly sweet things sometimes).
My sister of the sugary cereal breakfast actually likes sweet things less than I do now and really doesn't eat them (she just doesn't have a sweet tooth). She's never been overweight, I got overweight (although I am not anymore) eating mostly meals that would be considered healthy (but for the calories, sigh).
So eating some "junk" as a kid doesn't actually ruin one's palate or anything.0 -
All of my children are now adults. When they were little, I tried very hard to keep them on a healthy diet and to not eat junk. It is hard, it looks like your child is still very small. It gets harder...stick to your guns and try to always give them healthy options-they will get used to it and expect healthy options through out everything they do. There will ALWAYS be people who want to give your child an Oreo when you want them to have a multigrain bar-One way I got around that at class parties and day care etc. is to make a healthy option type cookie at home and bring it in for all of the kids..I.e. Carrot, oatmeal cookies-when all the other kids think that what YOUR child has is a special treat, they will want it too. Makes your child feel special that you want them to be healthy. Easter Baskets and stockings had exotic fruit and pricy protein bars that they didn't normally get. My children never felt deprived because they didn't get junk. They all still come home and want the food that I make for them-vegetables and all! ;-)
Most schools no longer allow homemade foods brought into classrooms (that will be shared ). Things must come in their original packages (we've been a part of several schools and that's been the rule at all of them).0 -
OP just took a look at your profile, and I am a bit confused.
You have a lot of weight to lose, so there is something wrong with what you all have been eating as a family, at least in the past, and the problem is not the occasional treat your kid gets from others. It is also surprisign your own diary contains daily treats, including the ones you do not want your kid to eat? Not saying that treats are bad, but when it comes to kids, lead by example. Learning good habits at home will not be undone by eating a cookie at school.
Rekt0 -
The schools here in my district also have a pre-approved list of packaged things we can bring in for the class. We can't even bring in bakery items from a grocery store. Homemade treats are always better in my opinion, but they do that for peanut allergy reasons.
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OP just took a look at your profile, and I am a bit confused.
You have a lot of weight to lose, so there is something wrong with what you all have been eating as a family, at least in the past, and the problem is not the occasional treat your kid gets from others. It is also surprisign your own diary contains daily treats, including the ones you do not want your kid to eat? Not saying that treats are bad, but when it comes to kids, lead by example. Learning good habits at home will not be undone by eating a cookie at school.
Rekt
Wait it's better, multiple entries for candy for days, nachos, etc., but the daughter can have pizza once a month?4 -
You do realize that your whole grain bar has more calories than an Oreo, right?
And your honey oat cereal probably has close to the same amount of sugar as the 'sugary loaded cereal' you're speaking of.
Also, I can't even start to think about how unhealthy it is to prevent your daughter from having a cookie if everyone else has one... Just wow...
Just going to say the same thing as that wise person before me... 'good luck with that'.
I think all of these judgement comments about the oreo are missing the point. The oreo was an example of someone blatantly disregarding/not comprehending the OP's wishes immediately after she had just explained it. She says in her OP that she does let her daughter have treats occasionally and at parties and on special occasions. Plus the child is a toddler and too young to read nutrition labels and is therefore being given a good head start through experience. So I assume that her point refers to right now in this phase of the child's growth. I don't see anything wrong with her wanting to get her child used to the taste of nutritionally dense foods at this early age. She isn't dictating her entire life, just this point in her development.
I agree with everyone who is saying that this is difficult terrain because when you are not around you can't really control what others feed her. You are doing a good job already by packing her food, looking for caregivers who will respect your wishes, and communicating your wishes to family who will care for her but I think you will get to a point where you have to pick your battles. I would have definitely left and not hired the caregiver who offered the cookie immediately after you just explained you didn't want her to eat like that.4 -
MommyL2015 wrote: »The schools here in my district also have a pre-approved list of packaged things we can bring in for the class. We can't even bring in bakery items from a grocery store. Homemade treats are always better in my opinion, but they do that for peanut allergy reasons.
Yep, it's because of allergies that homemade stuff can't be brought in here too.0 -
When DD started eating solids, she did not like pureed baby food and I was not going to force her to eat it - I sent in her food to daycare. We reached an amicable decision on what shapes, sizes, types of food we would provide and which met their guidelines - we got DD's doctor to write a letter that she was fine with this approach too. Things like cooked carrot fingers were OK, blueberries were not, even though we had no problem with them at home. The daycare centers we choose had menus published every week and they were definitely on the healthy side, BUT they had clear guidelines on what their food policy was and they were accredited by the NAEYC (in the US), a large part of whose accreditation process includes respecting the culture of the family and wishes of the parents.
As for friends/family - this is a tough one, but since the OP provides the odd treat at home, I'm sure her child will have no problem eating the odd treat elsewhere. We have had occasions when treats happen too often, and we just stepped in and said "no, she's had enough". Sure you might get a tantrum, but you stick with it, and when they get older it's easier to teach about healthy eating and respecting their bodies.
Quite frankly, the time you get to completely influence what your kids eat is so short, you want to do your best to provide them with the best start in life. I applaud the OP for wanting to do this.2 -
Kimberly_Harper wrote: »You do realize that your whole grain bar has more calories than an Oreo, right?
And your honey oat cereal probably has close to the same amount of sugar as the 'sugary loaded cereal' you're speaking of.
Also, I can't even start to think about how unhealthy it is to prevent your daughter from having a cookie if everyone else has one... Just wow...
Just going to say the same thing as that wise person before me... 'good luck with that'.
I think all of these judgement comments about the oreo are missing the point. The oreo was an example of someone blatantly disregarding/not comprehending the OP's wishes immediately after she had just explained it.
I think a clarifying question "what if everyone else is having an oreo, do you want me not to give it to her?" makes total sense, as that could be an awkward situation/make the child feel different or like she was being left out.
Actually offering her an oreo then (if that's what was happening, it didn't seem clear) or waving it in front of her face to make a point or something just seems weird and, sure, objectionable.2 -
You do realize that your whole grain bar has more calories than an Oreo, right?
And your honey oat cereal probably has close to the same amount of sugar as the 'sugary loaded cereal' you're speaking of.
Also, I can't even start to think about how unhealthy it is to prevent your daughter from having a cookie if everyone else has one... Just wow...
Just going to say the same thing as that wise person before me... 'good luck with that'.
This is where context and the overall diet comes into play - as we know, comparing two foods side by side really doesn't tell you anything.
So the Oreo has less calories, but it likely also has fewer nutrients than the whole grain bar. Is the child going to be getting a treat later in the day, or did they have one recently? If so, maybe the Oreo isn't the right choice. If not, perhaps it's ok. It's not just about calories. Same for the cereal and the sugar content.
I disagree that it's unhealthy for her daughter not to have a cookie if everyone else is having one. There are plenty of instances where I've said "no" to a treat when all of the other kids around are getting one (ice cream truck comes to mind) - everything in moderation, right? It seems like the OP moderates by frequency of treats, and that's a perfectly acceptable way to do it.
Given the number of posts we see in this community about problems with food pushers and people who won't respect other people's boundaries with food, there seems to be a bit of value in teaching children that you don't need to have a treat just because everyone else is having one, and not every activity has to involve treats.7 -
I don't think it's inherently unhealthy (and didn't say it was) for a child not to eat an oreo when everyone else is, but it's a difficult situation for the caregiver and needs to be addressed if she's handing out oreos to all children but one. A very young child who hasn't been explained the reasons would likely feel like she's being treated differently BY THE CAREGIVER. That's a very different situation than one mom saying no when other moms say yes.
If I were the caregiver I'd certainly ask about it and want to make sure the mom explained it to the child if the answer was no (and I'd think that some moms would say that in that situation -- especially if rare, as with the oreo day another poster mentioned -- oh, yeah, one occasional oreo is fine).
Doesn't change the fact that waving or offering the oreo during the conversation is odd and inappropriate and would have bothered me, if it happened as described.
Francl's point that many pretend healthy treats like whole grain bars aren't much more nutritious than a cookie and may well have more sugar is true. But depends on the treat, maybe it's a super healthy homemade bar, of course.0 -
Studies regularly show that kids who are denied junk food tend to have problems with overeating when they make their own food decisions on their own. I can personally relate to this as it's exactly what happened in my household. Instead of demonizing the junk food, teach her how to consume it in moderation. The minute something becomes off limits and has an emotional element associated with it, that's when it becomes part of a psychosis.
It's great that your child likes to eat a variety of foods and enjoys trying new things. Many children are raised on kool-aid and chicken nuggets, and won't even look at a vegetable. You can't avoid the junk food though and it's best to just teach her that there's nothing special about it, it's just food. My experience with kids is if to use junk food as an opportunity to learn about consequences. "If you eat this oreo now, you can't have <insert name of other tasty treat kid likes> later. Do you want this oreo now or <tasty treat> later?" Which is pretty much what I have to do with myself now!!
Good luck!! 1 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »First child?
Listen, I commend what you're trying to do but you might need to relax the grip a little. Your job is to teach your child healthy habits which will serve her well in the long term. If you put your child in a bubble, you risk her going hog-wild once she's old enough to realize she can make her own choices when you're not around. Children are smart, she will understand the difference between healthful foods and the occasional treat. Just the other day I asked my 5 year old son if he wanted to go for a slurpee....he responded no thank you. What five year old does that? One who has been taught what foods are healthy for his body and help him grow, and what is okay to eat as a treat once in a while, and that he doesn't need to stuff his face with treats whenever the opportunity presents itself. I currently have a bowl of easter treats (including his fave, chocolate) sitting openly on the counter which hasn't been touched in weeks. It's not taboo, therefore not interesting.
Oh and by the way, all bets are off when the munchkins are at the Grandparents' house. That's just part of the deal of having kids, the grandparents do whatever they want without consequence
What she said.
And BTW, once organized sports start, your child will likely get a junk food treat after each game. Always found that ironic, but I guess as long as its within their calorie count....0 -
Studies regularly show that kids who are denied junk food tend to have problems with overeating when they make their own food decisions on their own. I can personally relate to this as it's exactly what happened in my household. Instead of demonizing the junk food, teach her how to consume it in moderation. The minute something becomes off limits and has an emotional element associated with it, that's when it becomes part of a psychosis.
It's great that your child likes to eat a variety of foods and enjoys trying new things. Many children are raised on kool-aid and chicken nuggets, and won't even look at a vegetable. You can't avoid the junk food though and it's best to just teach her that there's nothing special about it, it's just food. My experience with kids is if to use junk food as an opportunity to learn about consequences. "If you eat this oreo now, you can't have <insert name of other tasty treat kid likes> later. Do you want this oreo now or <tasty treat> later?" Which is pretty much what I have to do with myself now!! Good luck!!
I take this information with a grain of salt; it doesn’t apply to everybody and based on my own experience it is bogus. I never ate junk food as a child or as a teen and not even as an adult, and I am not interested in doing it now, and I didn’t really have a weight problem either. Please don’t generalize just because it applied to you; it may apply to same people but it will not apply to everybody.
Some of those "studies" are based on retrospective data, and we all know that that kind of information will be incomplete and probably bias.3 -
Thank you for those who are on the same page that took the time to comprehend the ENTIRE context of my post without even needing to elaborate with a "play-by-play"of her entire daily food offerings. Maybe I should have rephrased the title to say EXCESSIVE junk. I also accept that some might disagree, but I'm a little bit thrown off that some of the responses I've received have been rather presumptuous in nature.
Now to attempt to clear up some of the common misconceptions...
I don't know how many times I need to clarify that my child is not deprived of, just limited the amount and frequency of junk...I feed her way better then I do myself because I don't want her to end up like me ( I am also simultaneously taking steps to work on myself so I can lead by example ) either way I am the parent and I am responsible for what she eats and it would be an injustice to her to knowingly implement poor choices for her.
-My daughters pediatrician said that she is beyond impressed with what she eats. She actually went as far as saying that most parents either don't know or just don't care what their children eat and commended me for my efforts. I consider her a very REPITUBLE SOURCE. All the studies that I find where kids get unlimited junk get dependent on it. They will not eat a vegetable, they do not like apples or any fruit because they only know apple pie, or fruit snacks. When presented with food in its natural form they think it's disgusting! When medically advises to go healthy, they can not stick to eating real foods because all the processed foods ruined their palets for life! I refuse to accept a Facebook article saying that: "Kids who eat unlimited junk grow up to not want junk." It is someone's job to ensure that Nabisco stays in buisness and half those articles are probably written by an employee. Aka someone who does not have children's best interests in mind. Anyone can make up psycho-babble and present it as fact.
To those who criticized the fact that my child does not get UNLIMITED junk, what exactly do you feed your kids?!? If you offer them a raw vegetable as a snack would they happily eat it? Why are you so offended that my kid likes both veggies and cookies but gets more veggies then cookies in her meals? I did not know that a child regularly eating her fruits and vegetables is considered a negative thing? **These are rhetorical questions by the way!!
-The particular "Oreo" that keeps on getting referenced in the comments WAS indeed SYMBOLIC! My daughter and husband share a cookie (or two) every few days. I FORGOT to mention that I did not want her having open access to that day cares entire bowl of cookies, donuts, or cheese puffs every day like the other kids there do. I know if I chose this daycare that she would have ignored my wishes due to her own convenience! Coincidentally, Some of those kids appeared very unhealthy and I did not want to subject my child to that environment.
- I WOULD NOT CARE IF my daughters SNACK BAR HAS MORE CALORIES then the Oreo! I never said that I cared about her calories and will not NOT control her calorie intake /portions at age 1. When fed properly they learn to regulate on their own when they are done eating. (F.Y.I. Rationing a young child's calories can be considered a FORM OF CHILD ABUSE) Limiting unhealthy SOURCES is what I practice with her. (I read the labels of almost every packaged and boxed snack and cereal in the store and for her daily meals pick the ones that have the least amount of sugar, hydrogenated, and processed ingredients. I'd rather have my daughter eat 200 calories of natural peanut butter then 150 calories of ice cream! ---Which she does have in moderation!!)
I definitely think this topic is an area agree to disagree. I will happily ignore any further commentary that uses sarcasm and insults. In contrast, after reading all of the supportive comments I'm so glad that I am not the only one who feels that my children should be eating healthy snacks6 -
I'll leave this here:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iH9IO6iMO78 0 -
Thank you for those who are on the same page that took the time to comprehend the ENTIRE context of my post without even needing to elaborate with a "play-by-play"of her entire daily food offerings. Maybe I should have rephrased the title to say EXCESSIVE junk. I also accept that some might disagree, but I'm a little bit thrown off that some of the responses I've received have been rather presumptuous in nature.
Now to attempt to clear up some of the common misconceptions...
I don't know how many times I need to clarify that my child is not deprived of, just limited the amount and frequency of junk...I feed her way better then I do myself because I don't want her to end up like me ( I am also simultaneously taking steps to work on myself so I can lead by example ) either way I am the parent and I am responsible for what she eats and it would be an injustice to her to knowingly implement poor choices for her.
-My daughters pediatrician said that she is beyond impressed with what she eats. She actually went as far as saying that most parents either don't know or just don't care what their children eat and commended me for my efforts. I consider her a very REPITUBLE SOURCE. All the studies that I find where kids get unlimited junk get dependent on it. They will not eat a vegetable, they do not like apples or any fruit because they only know apple pie, or fruit snacks. When presented with food in its natural form they think it's disgusting! When medically advises to go healthy, they can not stick to eating real foods because all the processed foods ruined their palets for life! I refuse to accept a Facebook article saying that: "Kids who eat unlimited junk grow up to not want junk." It is someone's job to ensure that Nabisco stays in buisness and half those articles are probably written by an employee. Aka someone who does not have children's best interests in mind. Anyone can make up psycho-babble and present it as fact.
To those who criticized the fact that my child does not get UNLIMITED junk, what exactly do you feed your kids?!? If you offer them a raw vegetable as a snack would they happily eat it? Why are you so offended that my kid likes both veggies and cookies but gets more veggies then cookies in her meals? I did not know that a child regularly eating her fruits and vegetables is considered a negative thing? **These are rhetorical questions by the way!!
-The particular "Oreo" that keeps on getting referenced in the comments WAS indeed SYMBOLIC! My daughter and husband share a cookie (or two) every few days. I FORGOT to mention that I did not want her having open access to that day cares entire bowl of cookies, donuts, or cheese puffs every day like the other kids there do. I know if I chose this daycare that she would have ignored my wishes due to her own convenience! Coincidentally, Some of those kids appeared very unhealthy and I did not want to subject my child to that environment.
- I WOULD NOT CARE IF my daughters SNACK BAR HAS MORE CALORIES then the Oreo! I never said that I cared about her calories and will not NOT control her calorie intake /portions at age 1. When fed properly they learn to regulate on their own when they are done eating. (F.Y.I. Rationing a young child's calories can be considered a FORM OF CHILD ABUSE) Limiting unhealthy SOURCES is what I practice with her. (I read the labels of almost every packaged and boxed snack and cereal in the store and for her daily meals pick the ones that have the least amount of sugar, hydrogenated, and processed ingredients. I'd rather have my daughter eat 200 calories of natural peanut butter then 150 calories of ice cream! ---Which she does have in moderation!!)
I definitely think this topic is an area agree to disagree. I will happily ignore any further commentary that uses sarcasm and insults. In contrast, after reading all of the supportive comments I'm so glad that I am not the only one who feels that my children should be eating healthy snacks
The bolded part: kids follow examples. I know, I wish it was different. "Do as a I say not as I do" is something I really really wish would work and I obviously guilty of attempting it in all aspects of parenting. It does not work.
You can control such things only with a very young child and then it always fails. Change your family's eating habits, or all these efforts will be for nothing. I 100% understand and like what you are trying to do, but it cannot work like this. You need to get your family to eating healthy food, including healthy versions of treats, not ration the treats and not have different rules for different family members. If your diet at home is balanced, if your child sees you make good choices for everyone and share the same healthier versions of treats, show by example what is a normal portion etc, then she will be fine with the occasional treat. If you have special meals for her, eat different treats etc, the whole thing will fail.
Also, since it looks like healthy eating is very important to you, I would strongly encourage you to try to prepare more things at home. No matter how carefully you read labels, your child is still seeing a packaged treat and gets used to this eating style. Since you do not want her to see e.g. oreos as a daily snack, this will not work if she daily has cereal bars. Regardless of whether they are healthier (which I seriously doubt) your child cannot see a difference. It is something sweet,processed and comes from a box, just like an oreo. If you want to control nutrients and get her used to making "cleaner" choices, try making things at home: a homemade icecream for example or homemade cookies can be both eaten daily, and not necessarily in small quantities, depending on the ingredients.3
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