Please stop feeding my child junk!!

mell4now
mell4now Posts: 33 Member
Diabetes, heart attack, hypertension obesity and other diet related illnesses run in mine and my husbands family, so ever since my daughter started solid foods, I've been feeding her predominantly balanced and healthy food choices. Her diet includes lots of fresh fruits, veggies, cheeses, eggs, nuts, seeds, beans, yogurts whole grain bread/pasta/cereals I give her a mix of both lean and fatty cuts of meats because children NEED a certain percentage of animal fats in their diets. For beverages either whole milk, or home/made vegetable smoothies. She gets the occasional cookie or cracker every now and then, and we let her eat whatever she wants at birthday parties, holidays and special events. We might even go out for ice cream once every few weeks or so, but it is not an every day occurence The problem we are having is that whenever she is someone else's care or around other people despite having her own food people offer her JUNK! They know she loves to eat a banana dipped in peanut butter or a cup of yogurt with some raspberries and would intentionally give her a bag of cheese curls or a plate of cookies instead! She has a nice whole grain honey-oat cereal but has been given a commercial sugar-loaded bowl of junk. Of course after eating junk food for a day she has a bit of resistance when returning home and is offered a healthy dinner. I just don't understand why it gives people so much pleasure to feed my child junk food when she is accustomed to and LIKES her healthy eats?!? I recently interviewed a potential child care provider for when I return to work full-time and even after I just got done explaining to her that I like my daughter to eat healthy, she waved a cookie in my daughters face and asked if ok to give my daughter an Oreo along with the other kids...I thought it was a joke!! But absolutely nothing I said sunk in. I kindly said (as I pulled it out of the diaper bag) "I'd rather her have this whole grain snack bar instead"

Any tips on how to politely and effectively suggest that certain people stop doping up my kid on the junk food, or at least limit it?!
«1345

Replies

  • NadiaMayl
    NadiaMayl Posts: 496 Member
    The fact is some people are not open to what you're trying to tell them. And some, even family (or more so) think it's ok to just ignore your requests. Try to explain your logic and reasoning and provide your own snacks.
    If it's an employee (nanny), they better adhere to your nutritional rules. Hopefully you'll find someone who, at the very least, is willing to learn and follow your standards.
    Friends and family, you'll just have to pack your mountains of mommy-approved snacks and foods, or you'll run the risk of not having anything for your daughter.
    Now, I'm all for the healthier varieties, and have done a lot of research to keep my home's food balanced and very low-to-none on some big ones like High fructose syrups, aspartame, food coloring a, nitrite/nitrate food, msg, too much sugar, even beauty stuff Lauryl/laureth free.... Etc... But, you won't change others, and if it's an occasional bday party or so, relax.
    Good luck!
  • julie_broadhead
    julie_broadhead Posts: 178 Member
    Have you been experiencing this in the day care setting or the private care setting (baby sitting, small group home care, or nannying)? It sounds like this particular lady lost your business right when that cookie was offered to your daughter.

    I would avoid using words like "healthy diet" when you interview care givers. That term means something different to everyone. Instead say,"I will be providing my child's snacks and meals during her care at this facility. It is extremely important to my family and I that my wishes regarding my child's nutrition are respected." Make sure the manager and or owner of the facility understands this too. If they go against your wishes, pull your business.
  • mell4now
    mell4now Posts: 33 Member
    Trying to respond to all...

    The "junk food distributors" come in the form of family, friends and previously in a private home based daycare setting. I actually packed about a weeks worth of semi healthy non perishable snacks such as single serve veggie and fruit bowls, and bring a fresh lunch, fruit and cheese every day she visits

    I phrase that I feed my child healthy foods and avoid the buzz word "diet". Her calories are never restricted just the sources she gets the food from.

    Lol at the cola kid sightings A few weeks ago I saw this mother of 5 at Walmart lecture her kid that the "Little Debbie fudge brownies" she asked for were really bad, and that she should choose a healthier option like this "Entemans Raspberry Danish!!!" Lolol. Maybe some people are really misinformed!

    I definitely let my little girl have anything she wants to eat at parties and other social events.
  • mathandcats
    mathandcats Posts: 786 Member
    Others have already said most of what I would have to say (mostly, you are a bit over the top IMO, but I also understand your frustration). However, the part "she waved a cookie in my daughters face and asked if ok to give my daughter an Oreo along with the other kids" - how do you think your daughter would feel if everybody else got to have an Oreo and she didn't? Now, I don't really think they should be giving out Oreos anyway, but it is still worth considering how upsetting it would likely be for your daughter to not get to have what the other kids did.
  • bellabonbons
    bellabonbons Posts: 705 Member
    I feel sorry for your children. You sound powerless to help them. Certainly there are a number of steps you could take to protect what they are eating. Home schooling. Specific instructions to day care. Packing healthy lunches.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    At my nephew's nursery (day care) he has a dessert with each lunchtime meal. He's perfectly healthy and a normal weight. If he's hungry he eats it, if not he doesn't. As others have said, at a young age kids should have the opportunity to eat everything as they shouldn't have learned over eating.
  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
    I have a mom friend that you remind me of. Poor kid and his melba toast with cheese while my kids enjoy their treats.
    I understand her diet is important to you and disease runs in your family. You have a long time of teaching her the benefits of nutritional eating and balancing treats.
    I mean, you're doing right by her. Good job!!

    You can pack her what you want her to eat and you can tell others.
    But if the majority of her meals come from you while at home or packed from home- then the amount of food not given by you is small...no?

    Just wondering what do you think is going to happen if she eats some oreos occasionally as a child or eats a few non-whole grain snacks?

    Anyway, you can NOT control everything despite your best efforts and pleas. I also believe that others should respect your wishes- but provide the alternatives when possible.

    There will be way, way bigger fish to fry down the road. Id keep your priorities of course, but dont sweat the small stuff.

    ~Mom to 3 happy and healthy kids.
  • jessishort11
    jessishort11 Posts: 9 Member
    edited April 2016
    I don't think you'll be able to protect her from ALL junk food. I was the same way with my kids, but learned that when they were at their grandparents' house, they would get sweets. I had to choose if them seeing their grandparents was worth me having to bite my tongue and watch them eat a cookie or two. To me, it was worth it. At daycare, I packed their food myself. When I switched to private childcare, I did the same. In the end, it's your child and you call the shots. That's my opinion.

    Also, I want to echo the other reply who gave kudos for trying to train your child to eat healthy. Childhood obesity and diabetes are becoming more and more prevalent in this country. Good for you for taking a stand to protect your child!

  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
    DonM46 wrote: »
    Quite frankly, I think you are a little 'over the top' on the junk food thing. If your child regularly eats healthy foods at home, an infrequent McDonald's burger, fries, and a Coke with an Oreo and a bowl of ice cream for dessert will do no harm.
    I love pizza, donuts, and practically anything deep fried; however, in my effort to control my weight, I avoid such. Not eliminate, just avoid.
    The key word is occasional.
    Occasional is not a problem.

    From what I read, her question wasn't what others think about how she chooses to raise her child, it was about how to get others to respect it. Which, clearly, you know nothing about.

    Forums offer more than the advice solicited. That's common knowledge.
    But perhaps the people she is asking IRL arent "respecting" it because its over the top to them too?
    I dunno.

    If a kid Im watching has his own snacks- sweet. But if mine is eating goldfish and they have to have granola- sheesh-and they are old enough to "want" the other person's snacks... wish me luck! LOL. ;)
  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
    Villae81 wrote: »
    Your daughter probably gonna hate eating healthy when she's grown if she's deprive from junk food all her childhood life

    Well shes not deprived- mom gives her treats occasionally. Its just that mom doesnt want anyone else to give her treats when shes asked them not to. :)
  • chunky_pinup
    chunky_pinup Posts: 758 Member
    Your child, your rules. If people you are trusting to care for your child don't follow those rules, then find someone else. You are allowed to tell someone - even family - no. My little girl has a severe dairy allergy...even the slightest amount triggers anaphylaxis...and it's in a TON of stuff...so my husband and I are very serious with no means no. Great grandma was dying to give her some chocolate pudding, but you are in charge of your childs' well being. Not others. If you don't want them feeding your kid junk, don't let them. It's really quite simple.
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
    Your child, your rules. If people you are trusting to care for your child don't follow those rules, then find someone else. You are allowed to tell someone - even family - no. My little girl has a severe dairy allergy...even the slightest amount triggers anaphylaxis...and it's in a TON of stuff...so my husband and I are very serious with no means no. Great grandma was dying to give her some chocolate pudding, but you are in charge of your childs' well being. Not others. If you don't want them feeding your kid junk, don't let them. It's really quite simple.

    Not the same situation IMHO
  • AlabasterVerve
    AlabasterVerve Posts: 3,171 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    Villae81 wrote: »
    Your daughter probably gonna hate eating healthy when she's grown if she's deprive from junk food all her childhood life

    My n=1 reflects the opposite - I was "deprived" of junk as a child and it made it really easy for me to return to healthy eating. I believe it positively affected my taste buds as well.

    That was my experience as well. The reasons might be different (we didn't have the money to eat junk food regularly) but growing up eating proper meals made it easy and familiar to go back to eating a healthful diet. Being "forced" to eat healthy made me appreciate and enjoy those foods, not hate them.

    Good for you @mell4now for limiting the junk - your daughter will appreciate it when she's older.
  • positivepowers
    positivepowers Posts: 902 Member
    I think you may be looking at this wrong. Your daughter will spend a lifetime exposed to junk food. This is a perfect opportunity to teach her the word "no" and how she can apply it to her own life. If you don't start now (experience speaking here, I've raised three to adulthood) by the time she gets into school she will eat the worst crap ever. Some schools even have vending machines. Even if you homeschool like I did, she will be exposed because you can't control her entire environment every moment of every day. You don't say how old she is, but starting about age two her favorite word is (or was) "NO!" anyway. Good time to begin teaching her WHEN to say no and why!
  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
    edited April 2016
    Aside from being the enforcer of tough consequences, "letting go" is one of the hardest parts of parenting. Especially when it stems from fear regarding your child's well-being....and what parent doesnt have that?

    But over-bearing controlling parents make it tough on their little ones though. All we want to do is our best- and do right by them.

    Im 32 and still have to put my hand up and remind my sweet mother that Im an adult.
    (She gives them Icees and a donut after school on occasion- totally ruins their appetite when she does that- so that night they eat plain cheerios/milk for dinner and go to bed happy- as do I.)
    I pick my battles-and with 3 kids there are plenty to choose from!
This discussion has been closed.