Please stop feeding my child junk!!
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That is a helpful perspective that I am actually working on... Just this week I began to make her homemade snack bars, and smoothies to replace a lot of her prepackaged stuff especially at home. We usually use the packaged stuff to keep on hand for situations where it is not ideal to have the fresher counterparts
it was a bit difficult for a while because I was contending with severe pregnancy nausea for the past 3 months so I compromised the best I could. It's finally starting to go away now and I can now be in the kitchen without running to the bathroom to (ahemm) vomit.
Thank you for those who are on the same page that took the time to comprehend the ENTIRE context of my post without even needing to elaborate with a "play-by-play"of her entire daily food offerings. Maybe I should have rephrased the title to say EXCESSIVE junk. I also accept that some might disagree, but I'm a little bit thrown off that some of the responses I've received have been rather presumptuous in nature.
Now to attempt to clear up some of the common misconceptions...
I don't know how many times I need to clarify that my child is not deprived of, just limited the amount and frequency of junk...I feed her way better then I do myself because I don't want her to end up like me ( I am also simultaneously taking steps to work on myself so I can lead by example ) either way I am the parent and I am responsible for what she eats and it would be an injustice to her to knowingly implement poor choices for her.
-My daughters pediatrician said that she is beyond impressed with what she eats. She actually went as far as saying that most parents either don't know or just don't care what their children eat and commended me for my efforts. I consider her a very REPITUBLE SOURCE. All the studies that I find where kids get unlimited junk get dependent on it. They will not eat a vegetable, they do not like apples or any fruit because they only know apple pie, or fruit snacks. When presented with food in its natural form they think it's disgusting! When medically advises to go healthy, they can not stick to eating real foods because all the processed foods ruined their palets for life! I refuse to accept a Facebook article saying that: "Kids who eat unlimited junk grow up to not want junk." It is someone's job to ensure that Nabisco stays in buisness and half those articles are probably written by an employee. Aka someone who does not have children's best interests in mind. Anyone can make up psycho-babble and present it as fact.
To those who criticized the fact that my child does not get UNLIMITED junk, what exactly do you feed your kids?!? If you offer them a raw vegetable as a snack would they happily eat it? Why are you so offended that my kid likes both veggies and cookies but gets more veggies then cookies in her meals? I did not know that a child regularly eating her fruits and vegetables is considered a negative thing? **These are rhetorical questions by the way!!
-The particular "Oreo" that keeps on getting referenced in the comments WAS indeed SYMBOLIC! My daughter and husband share a cookie (or two) every few days. I FORGOT to mention that I did not want her having open access to that day cares entire bowl of cookies, donuts, or cheese puffs every day like the other kids there do. I know if I chose this daycare that she would have ignored my wishes due to her own convenience! Coincidentally, Some of those kids appeared very unhealthy and I did not want to subject my child to that environment.
- I WOULD NOT CARE IF my daughters SNACK BAR HAS MORE CALORIES then the Oreo! I never said that I cared about her calories and will not NOT control her calorie intake /portions at age 1. When fed properly they learn to regulate on their own when they are done eating. (F.Y.I. Rationing a young child's calories can be considered a FORM OF CHILD ABUSE) Limiting unhealthy SOURCES is what I practice with her. (I read the labels of almost every packaged and boxed snack and cereal in the store and for her daily meals pick the ones that have the least amount of sugar, hydrogenated, and processed ingredients. I'd rather have my daughter eat 200 calories of natural peanut butter then 150 calories of ice cream! ---Which she does have in moderation!!)
I definitely think this topic is an area agree to disagree. I will happily ignore any further commentary that uses sarcasm and insults. In contrast, after reading all of the supportive comments I'm so glad that I am not the only one who feels that my children should be eating healthy snacks
The bolded part: kids follow examples. I know, I wish it was different. "Do as a I say not as I do" is something I really really wish would work and I obviously guilty of attempting it in all aspects of parenting. It does not work.
You can control such things only with a very young child and then it always fails. Change your family's eating habits, or all these efforts will be for nothing. I 100% understand and like what you are trying to do, but it cannot work like this. You need to get your family to eating healthy food, including healthy versions of treats, not ration the treats and not have different rules for different family members. If your diet at home is balanced, if your child sees you make good choices for everyone and share the same healthier versions of treats, show by example what is a normal portion etc, then she will be fine with the occasional treat. If you have special meals for her, eat different treats etc, the whole thing will fail.
Also, since it looks like healthy eating is very important to you, I would strongly encourage you to try to prepare more things at home. No matter how carefully you read labels, your child is still seeing a packaged treat and gets used to this eating style. Since you do not want her to see e.g. oreos as a daily snack, this will not work if she daily has cereal bars. Regardless of whether they are healthier (which I seriously doubt) your child cannot see a difference. It is something sweet,processed and comes from a box, just like an oreo. If you want to control nutrients and get her used to making "cleaner" choices, try making things at home: a homemade icecream for example or homemade cookies can be both eaten daily, and not necessarily in small quantities, depending on the ingredients.
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I had originally avoided responding to this because honestly, I can rationalize both sides. I agree that people should respect your choices as a parent and they shouldn't be trying to give your child food you don't want her to have. However, I can also see their point and can see how it may look like you over react when you get mad if they offer her something. Over reaction or not, they should not be going against your wishes, especially if they are a direct caregiver. Hope that makes sense lol.
While I don't have kids (yet) I do worry that someone would offer my child something they shouldn't have. I have to keep a strict gf, wheat/barley/oat free home since I am deathly allergic, even if I just touch it (have had such bad reactions that I stopped breathing). I am going to have to ensure that any future kids don't bring that stuff home/are not offered it outside the home. I have a feeling that I will also meet resistance with that.
Good for you for standing your ground.3 -
If it were me I would continue doing what you're doing at home, it's important at their age that you introduce them to a wide range of foods, however do be prepared for her to get fussier as she gets older! My daughter who would previously eat everything I gave her has got a lot more selective as she gets older and won't eat meat at all now. Find a childcare setting that you're happy with and as far as family goes I would have a word saying you would prefer her not to eat too much sugary food but let them treat her as well, it won't hurt her to have treats when she's at grandparents as long as she eats well the rest of the time. You really do need to pick your battles when it comes to family and your children. Most importantly try and relax a little bit, otherwise your anxiety about food will rub off on her. Best of luck x1
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You do realize that your whole grain bar has more calories than an Oreo, right?
And your honey oat cereal probably has close to the same amount of sugar as the 'sugary loaded cereal' you're speaking of.
Also, I can't even start to think about how unhealthy it is to prevent your daughter from having a cookie if everyone else has one... Just wow...
Just going to say the same thing as that wise person before me... 'good luck with that'.
This is where context and the overall diet comes into play - as we know, comparing two foods side by side really doesn't tell you anything.
So the Oreo has less calories, but it likely also has fewer nutrients than the whole grain bar. Is the child going to be getting a treat later in the day, or did they have one recently? If so, maybe the Oreo isn't the right choice. If not, perhaps it's ok. It's not just about calories. Same for the cereal and the sugar content.
I disagree that it's unhealthy for her daughter not to have a cookie if everyone else is having one. There are plenty of instances where I've said "no" to a treat when all of the other kids around are getting one (ice cream truck comes to mind) - everything in moderation, right? It seems like the OP moderates by frequency of treats, and that's a perfectly acceptable way to do it.
Given the number of posts we see in this community about problems with food pushers and people who won't respect other people's boundaries with food, there seems to be a bit of value in teaching children that you don't need to have a treat just because everyone else is having one, and not every activity has to involve treats.
Your logic is messed up. There's a big difference between someone passing on something that he doesn't want, and telling someone that no, even he wants it, he can't have it, even though everyone else is having one. I know that if everyone in my kids' class was having a cupcake and my kids were offered a granola bar instead all the time, they'd end up with a pretty screwed up relationship with food (and of themselves too, wondering what must be wrong with them that they can't eat like everyone else).
Nice burden to give to your kids, if you ask me (not).
Obviously, if the kid would rather eat a granola bar, it's totally different. But I don't see OP even mentioning her kid's opinion there.8 -
All I'm really taking from this thread is that I can't believe granola bars are still being marketed and sold. Didn't they devolve into fodder for 1970s parody along with EST training seminars, Dr. Scholls and Erogenous Zone authors?
Lol! I love granola bars. Too many calories for me to have often though.0 -
Diabetes, heart attack, hypertension obesity and other diet related illnesses run in mine and my husbands family, so ever since my daughter started solid foods, I've been feeding her predominantly balanced and healthy food choices. Her diet includes lots of fresh fruits, veggies, cheeses, eggs, nuts, seeds, beans, yogurts whole grain bread/pasta/cereals I give her a mix of both lean and fatty cuts of meats because children NEED a certain percentage of animal fats in their diets. For beverages either whole milk, or home/made vegetable smoothies. She gets the occasional cookie or cracker every now and then, and we let her eat whatever she wants at birthday parties, holidays and special events. We might even go out for ice cream once every few weeks or so, but it is not an every day occurence The problem we are having is that whenever she is someone else's care or around other people despite having her own food people offer her JUNK! They know she loves to eat a banana dipped in peanut butter or a cup of yogurt with some raspberries and would intentionally give her a bag of cheese curls or a plate of cookies instead! She has a nice whole grain honey-oat cereal but has been given a commercial sugar-loaded bowl of junk. Of course after eating junk food for a day she has a bit of resistance when returning home and is offered a healthy dinner. I just don't understand why it gives people so much pleasure to feed my child junk food when she is accustomed to and LIKES her healthy eats?!? I recently interviewed a potential child care provider for when I return to work full-time and even after I just got done explaining to her that I like my daughter to eat healthy, she waved a cookie in my daughters face and asked if ok to give my daughter an Oreo along with the other kids...I thought it was a joke!! But absolutely nothing I said sunk in. I kindly said (as I pulled it out of the diaper bag) "I'd rather her have this whole grain snack bar instead"
Any tips on how to politely and effectively suggest that certain people stop doping up my kid on the junk food, or at least limit it?!
Tell them Flat out please do not give her the junk food, I have provided snacks! That simple good luck1 -
I know that if everyone in my kids' class was having a cupcake and my kids were offered a granola bar instead all the time, they'd end up with a pretty screwed up relationship with food (and of themselves too, wondering what must be wrong with them that they can't eat like everyone else).
very well put0 -
extra_medium wrote: »I know that if everyone in my kids' class was having a cupcake and my kids were offered a granola bar instead all the time, they'd end up with a pretty screwed up relationship with food (and of themselves too, wondering what must be wrong with them that they can't eat like everyone else).
very well put
I agree with this. We, as parents, can teach our children about nutrition and help them eat a healthy diet without denying them the feeling of belonging to the group. It's getting more difficult as our fellow Westerners sit on their *kitten* more and more and shovel in the chips, but there is a balance and I'm not sure it's where we feed our kids granola bars at birthday parties.0 -
Have you looked into center-based daycares? (Think Bright Horizons, etc) they have more tightly controlled "snacks" etc vs an in-home daycare. Someone who runs an in-home daycare most likely buys snacks at big box stores that are more cost-effective, hence Goldfish and Oreos, and will also offer your child the same snacks they are giving everyone else, just because that's what you do, right It can be frustrating because you feel like you're not being heard, but unless you are providing her with enough of a snack you approve to offer all the kids, she will probably continue to offer your child what she does to all the others.
This will only be a problem for you for a couple of years - once your kids are in school you have to provide the snacks, so unless you let them buy the school lunch you have control over what you pack. (Alas, no control whether they trade with a friend!)2 -
SkinnyGirlCarrie wrote: »Have you looked into center-based daycares? (Think Bright Horizons, etc) they have more tightly controlled "snacks" etc vs an in-home daycare. Someone who runs an in-home daycare most likely buys snacks at big box stores that are more cost-effective, hence Goldfish and Oreos, and will also offer your child the same snacks they are giving everyone else, just because that's what you do, right It can be frustrating because you feel like you're not being heard, but unless you are providing her with enough of a snack you approve to offer all the kids, she will probably continue to offer your child what she does to all the others.
This will only be a problem for you for a couple of years - once your kids are in school you have to provide the snacks, so unless you let them buy the school lunch you have control over what you pack. (Alas, no control whether they trade with a friend!)
^This.0 -
Be blunt, your kid your rules. My MIL and Mom are horrible for trying to give my daughter junk (even pop, we dont even drink pop let alone let my two year old drink it.) They sometimes get offended when I tell them no or ask them to take it back. My daughter throws a fit sometimes when they offer her a chocolate bar and I tell them and her no. But at the end of the day, its my job to make sure she eats well and ends up with a healthy relationship with food.
(We do eat some junk food but she gets little amounts and not often. Balance)2 -
I worked for a bit. I was fortunate enough that the company had an on-site childcare center modeled after Bright Horizons. Beyond bottles all the food was provided in the cost. I don't know if they would have allowed me to bring food. Never felt the need to ask. Nothing to complain about with the food served. You'd receive a detailed journal of the day including what your child ate or didn't eat.
The downside is the cost. It's big bucks!! My husband used to ask if the kids were eating off gold plates.
There has to be centers that operate the same way as Bright Horizons.1 -
Some people in here make it sound like children are some kind of property that you can just 100% decide what to do with. They're living, breathing beings and you have responsibility over them, as does anyone else who comes in contact with them to an extent. Being a parent doesn't magically impart in you the ability to know what is best for them, despite some people thinking it does. Don't just ignore other's suggestions outright.
I got raised by my grandparents better than my parents would have ever been able to, so some people's attitude in here is rubbing me the wrong way.5 -
Clearly you have a bias...stevencloser wrote: »Some people in here make it sound like children are some kind of property that you can just 100% decide what to do with. They're living, breathing beings and you have responsibility over them, as does anyone else who comes in contact with them to an extent. Being a parent doesn't magically impart in you the ability to know what is best for them, despite some people thinking it does. Don't just ignore other's suggestions outright.
I got raised by my grandparents better than my parents would have ever been able to, so some people's attitude in here is rubbing me the wrong way.
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Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.7 -
stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?0 -
ReaderGirl3 wrote: »All of my children are now adults. When they were little, I tried very hard to keep them on a healthy diet and to not eat junk. It is hard, it looks like your child is still very small. It gets harder...stick to your guns and try to always give them healthy options-they will get used to it and expect healthy options through out everything they do. There will ALWAYS be people who want to give your child an Oreo when you want them to have a multigrain bar-One way I got around that at class parties and day care etc. is to make a healthy option type cookie at home and bring it in for all of the kids..I.e. Carrot, oatmeal cookies-when all the other kids think that what YOUR child has is a special treat, they will want it too. Makes your child feel special that you want them to be healthy. Easter Baskets and stockings had exotic fruit and pricy protein bars that they didn't normally get. My children never felt deprived because they didn't get junk. They all still come home and want the food that I make for them-vegetables and all! ;-)
Most schools no longer allow homemade foods brought into classrooms (that will be shared ). Things must come in their original packages (we've been a part of several schools and that's been the rule at all of them).
I think that really depends on where you are. Here (BC, Canada), most schools do not have lunch programs. All food is brought from home, although there are strict no allergen rules and no sharing.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »I don't think it's inherently unhealthy (and didn't say it was) for a child not to eat an oreo when everyone else is, but it's a difficult situation for the caregiver and needs to be addressed if she's handing out oreos to all children but one. A very young child who hasn't been explained the reasons would likely feel like she's being treated differently BY THE CAREGIVER. That's a very different situation than one mom saying no when other moms say yes.
If I were the caregiver I'd certainly ask about it and want to make sure the mom explained it to the child if the answer was no (and I'd think that some moms would say that in that situation -- especially if rare, as with the oreo day another poster mentioned -- oh, yeah, one occasional oreo is fine).
Doesn't change the fact that waving or offering the oreo during the conversation is odd and inappropriate and would have bothered me, if it happened as described.
Francl's point that many pretend healthy treats like whole grain bars aren't much more nutritious than a cookie and may well have more sugar is true. But depends on the treat, maybe it's a super healthy homemade bar, of course.
I knew a woman that insisted her kids were healthier than mine because I handed mine a, wait for it... Oreo. I didn't ask but she went on and on about how she makes everything from scratch and substitutes honey or applesauce for sugar, etc. She also decried the evils of corn syrup.
She was 75 lbs heavier than me and both of her kids were overweight.
I big part of good health is weight, not just nutrient profiles of each individual food. If you meet your nutrition needs for the day, you don't get nutritional extra credit for having a nutrient dense snack vs a nutrient poor one.
But that woman disagreed, and her "extra credit" showed both on her and on her kids. She ended the tiraid with how her cinnamon pills that Dr. Oz recommended were going to cure her diabetes.
My only comment after listening to that golden nutritional advice was, "Interesting, I'll have to look into that," as I ate an Oreo.
Trying to convince her would have been preposterous. Her mind was made up and only righteous indignation would have been the result. I doubt the OP will be swayed either but maybe the undecided lurker will be.5 -
Sorry--long post coming LOL
I've witnessed both ends of the spectrum with parents and the way they feed their kids. The first one was my ex's nephew. Basically, since he was old enough to walk, he fed himself with whatever he could reach. I remember being at their house one morning to pick him up to babysit that day, and it was about maybe 6:30 in the morning. His mom woke him up, he came out of his room and grabbed a kool-aid pack out of the fridge and a pack of hostess cupcakes off the counter and then sat down at the table and ate them. He was maybe 3-4 at the time. I was young and don't remember what exactly I said or ended up doing, but I distinctly remember the hostess cupcakes and kool-aid self-served breakfast and was appalled. I wasn't even a mother yet and knew that wasn't right.
About a year later, he was about 6, he nearly died from malnutrition. I think he had something wrong with his brain, and I remember him having to be fed infant formula along with his meals by his grandmother. He had been hospitalized and sent home with those orders from his doctor. This all happened somewhere around 25 years ago. I know DSS was called and he was placed into care with his grandmother for a while but he developed severe learning disabilities from being so malnourished for so long.
On the other extreme, I met a woman here at the bus stop where my kids wait and at the time, she had just recently moved here from South Africa. She was an extreme version of the organic, no-GMO clean eating type.
She had two small kids, one in kindergarten, one too young for school. I remember that Halloween walking past their house and seeing them staring out the window, watching all the other kids. I asked her the following Monday why her kids didn't go out and I was expecting her to say that she doesn't celebrate Halloween or something, but her reasoning was that she did not want the kids having even a single piece of candy. I asked her if she allowed any treats at all at any time, like birthdays and she looked at me like I had three heads, like I was stupid for even suggesting such a thing. It's hard to explain but after talking with her a few times, I figured this was more than just a cultural thing. Folks in South Africa can't be that uptight.
She stopped coming out to our bus stop after about 3 weeks, and then some time after that, her kids were pulled out of school. She's since moved away and I've been told she went back to SA. She seemed nice enough at first, and I did learn about Rooibos tea from her. She was in great shape and ran every morning but she was paranoid through the roof about so many things, not just food. She was just disgusted with Americans in general, I think and how big corporations are just out to make everyone sick with the crap they put in the food. Her attitude was a little like you see here in some of the "evil sugar, toxins and chemicals!" posts from some people, but about 100x crazier and a hell of a lot more insulting. I love South Africa. I hope everyone else over there is a little less crazy than she is because I would love to visit one day. I hope her kids turn out with a healthier view of food because she was way more than obsessive compulsive about it.
I guess my point in all this rambling is that, as a parent of old and young kids, I find it best to be somewhere in the middle when it comes to food, and it really sounds like the OP is in a much better place Crazy Lady from South Africa.0 -
stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I am not sure it matters. His comments are right. Kids need to be exposed to different perspectives. Parents can't provide all perspectives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, my friends, teachers, coaches, strangers and many others have made contributions in some way.4 -
extra_medium wrote: »I know that if everyone in my kids' class was having a cupcake and my kids were offered a granola bar instead all the time, they'd end up with a pretty screwed up relationship with food (and of themselves too, wondering what must be wrong with them that they can't eat like everyone else).
very well put
this is great. Kids are very receptive to being "left out" or being the "odd one out". Wether they understand being a kid is very much about finding your place making friends and fitting in. When i was kid i was exposed to both "junk" and "healthy" food. I ate a good balance of both. I was never restricted because i was taught to have a healthy realtionship with food and understand how important "healthy" stuff was. When at home snacking sometimes i had some chips sometimes i had fruit sometimes i had carrots and ranch. All my choice. I wasnt a one in a million special snowflake that magically made good decisions. I was treated like a human that could make my own food choices (when my mom wasnt cooking) this was from 6-on. I was also a super picky eater when i was a kid. Did love fruits and veggies just not a long list. My mom also was pretty big on portion control and not over eating. I was always a competitive swimmer and actually when outside and played everyday.... which to me seems more like the issue with the youth then an oreo. No more junk 20 years ago when i was kid then now. .... I also havent found many granola bars that are any healthier then an oreo. Maybe a bit more protein and fiber but like.. barley.1 -
stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I'm someone's child and old enough to realize which parts of the parenting I received were good and which ones were questionable.4 -
ITT I learned that where a food is made is the most relevant indicator of its nutritional quality.0
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stevencloser wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I'm someone's child and old enough to realize which parts of the parenting I received were good and which ones were questionable.
Sorry but until you have a child, you have no idea what you're talking about. And of course, I am biased as well and I realize that...2 -
Of course it matters. Until you have a child, you have no clue of the love, the worry and the stress involved. You just don't, sorry. And of course that is just my opinion. I am as biased as I accused @stevencloser of being...stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I am not sure it matters. His comments are right. Kids need to be exposed to different perspectives. Parents can't provide all perspectives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, my friends, teachers, coaches, strangers and many others have made contributions in some way.3 -
Childless people are experts at parenting, didn't you know?1
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Generally provided good nutrition for the family but let the kids decide when going to a party etc.
After one party of excess promply chucked up from the gorging of sugar, chocolate etc
A valuable lesson thats not forgotten!0 -
Of course it matters. Until you have a child, you have no clue of the love, the worry and the stress involved. You just don't, sorry. And of course that is just my opinion. I am as biased as I accused @stevencloser of being...stevencloser wrote: »Of course I have. I would have omitted that fact if I wanted to mislead you into thinking I'm being completely objective here.
But my points still stand. Don't treat your children like property, other people have just as much capacity of knowing what's good for your children as you do, sometimes even more, and you have a responsibility towards your children to at least consider what they're saying because children are not some inanimate property that you can do with as you please. Don't ignore other people who come in contact with your child for the sole reason that "you're their parent so you automatically know better than anyone else" because that is just not true.
Are you a parent?
I am not sure it matters. His comments are right. Kids need to be exposed to different perspectives. Parents can't provide all perspectives. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, my friends, teachers, coaches, strangers and many others have made contributions in some way.
As a father of two I'm having trouble connecting love and stess to discounting the perspectives of family members and the rest of society.6 -
god, parents love complaining about non-breeders offering advice3
This discussion has been closed.
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