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Fat Acceptance Movement
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Are you really saying that women don't want to date "an overweight guy"... or are you saying they don't want to date you? Sorry if that's mean, but your generalization seems like it's just a blanket statement that you tell yourself to make sense of your world, but it certainly isn't based in reality. Just an unsolicited suggestion but...you could try liking "your women" for their personalities instead of their curves, to start, if you're having trouble getting a date.
Back when I was single it was me and my overweight friends and for the record I do look for personality, my statement was in response to the fat acceptance movement. Also for the record I'm married so I only have to answer to my wife now. And yes it is mean, everyone views the world from their point of view, I can't step into you and see the world as you see it or vice versa.The term morbidly obese was not created by any movement, it is a medical term to indicate that a person is 100lbs over their ideal body weight, or has a BMI of 40 or more. I fail to see how your failure to attract a woman has anything to do with liberals or politics in general. You may not believe that you would be healthier at a lower weight, but there is all sorts of science to refute that thought. Its probably that damn liberal science though...
Your statement says you didn't comprehend what I said. Nowhere did I say that the term was created out of a movement and if you re-read my statement you will see that I indeed said I would be healthier at 200 than I am now which is why I am losing weight.janejellyroll wrote: »Not a single one of them wants to date an overweight guy? Not even one?
Curious to know how you determined this.
Personal experience and that of my overweight friends. I can't speak to their motivations but I always looked at personality.
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LouisTamsi wrote: »Are you really saying that women don't want to date "an overweight guy"... or are you saying they don't want to date you? Sorry if that's mean, but your generalization seems like it's just a blanket statement that you tell yourself to make sense of your world, but it certainly isn't based in reality. Just an unsolicited suggestion but...you could try liking "your women" for their personalities instead of their curves, to start, if you're having trouble getting a date.
Back when I was single it was me and my overweight friends and for the record I do look for personality, my statement was in response to the fat acceptance movement. Also for the record I'm married so I only have to answer to my wife now.The term morbidly obese was not created by any movement, it is a medical term to indicate that a person is 100lbs over their ideal body weight, or has a BMI of 40 or more. I fail to see how your failure to attract a woman has anything to do with liberals or politics in general. You may not believe that you would be healthier at a lower weight, but there is all sorts of science to refute that thought. Its probably that damn liberal science though...
Your statement says you didn't comprehend what I said. Nowhere did I say that the term was created out of a movement and if you re read my statement you will see that I indeed said I would be healthier at 200 than I am now which is why I am losing weight.janejellyroll wrote: »Not a single one of them wants to date an overweight guy? Not even one?
Curious to know how you determined this.
Personal experience and that of my overweight friends and no we weren't "fishing in the wrong pond" as it were. I can't speak to their motivations but I always looked at personality.
This assumes that you and your friends are so universally appealing to women that, but for your weight, nobody could possibly have a reason to reject you. But that type of man doesn't exist -- in the real world, even great guys sometimes don't appeal to individual women and get rejected.
I would submit that if none of the women in the fat acceptance movement want to date your or your friends, there may be another factor in play. Why do I think that? Because I know several women who would consider themselves advocates of fat acceptance who have happily dated overweight and obese men and women. Some of them even claim to prefer partners who are overweight.
Even if it's true that these women you and your friends have encountered are hypocritical in this regard, you realize you've only personally encountered a very small portion of those who would consider themselves to be part of this movement, right? To draw such a wide conclusion based on your personal experiences is unfounded.
You say that you can't speak to their motivations. But when you accuse every woman in this group of having "typical liberal double standards," you're assigning a motivation to them.10 -
janejellyroll wrote: »
This assumes that you and your friends are so universally appealing to women that, but for your weight, nobody could possibly have a reason to reject you. But that type of man doesn't exist -- in the real world, even great guys sometimes don't appeal to individual women and get rejected.
I would submit that if none of the women in the fat acceptance movement want to date your or your friends, there may be another factor in play. Why do I think that? Because I know several women who would consider themselves advocates of fat acceptance who have happily dated overweight and obese men and women. Some of them even claim to prefer partners who are overweight.
Even if it's true that these women you and your friends have encountered are hypocritical in this regard, you realize you've only personally encountered a very small portion of those who would consider themselves to be part of this movement, right? To draw such a wide conclusion based on your personal experiences is unfounded.
You say that you can't speak to their motivations. But when you accuse every woman in this group of having "typical liberal double standards," you're assigning a motivation to them.
I give up!
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LouisTamsi wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »
This assumes that you and your friends are so universally appealing to women that, but for your weight, nobody could possibly have a reason to reject you. But that type of man doesn't exist -- in the real world, even great guys sometimes don't appeal to individual women and get rejected.
I would submit that if none of the women in the fat acceptance movement want to date your or your friends, there may be another factor in play. Why do I think that? Because I know several women who would consider themselves advocates of fat acceptance who have happily dated overweight and obese men and women. Some of them even claim to prefer partners who are overweight.
Even if it's true that these women you and your friends have encountered are hypocritical in this regard, you realize you've only personally encountered a very small portion of those who would consider themselves to be part of this movement, right? To draw such a wide conclusion based on your personal experiences is unfounded.
You say that you can't speak to their motivations. But when you accuse every woman in this group of having "typical liberal double standards," you're assigning a motivation to them.
I give up!
Okay!1 -
LouisTamsi wrote: »Are you really saying that women don't want to date "an overweight guy"... or are you saying they don't want to date you? Sorry if that's mean, but your generalization seems like it's just a blanket statement that you tell yourself to make sense of your world, but it certainly isn't based in reality. Just an unsolicited suggestion but...you could try liking "your women" for their personalities instead of their curves, to start, if you're having trouble getting a date.
Back when I was single it was me and my overweight friends and for the record I do look for personality, my statement was in response to the fat acceptance movement. Also for the record I'm married so I only have to answer to my wife now. And yes it is mean, everyone views the world from their point of view, I can't step into you and see the world as you see it or vice versa.The term morbidly obese was not created by any movement, it is a medical term to indicate that a person is 100lbs over their ideal body weight, or has a BMI of 40 or more. I fail to see how your failure to attract a woman has anything to do with liberals or politics in general. You may not believe that you would be healthier at a lower weight, but there is all sorts of science to refute that thought. Its probably that damn liberal science though...
Your statement says you didn't comprehend what I said. Nowhere did I say that the term was created out of a movement and if you re-read my statement you will see that I indeed said I would be healthier at 200 than I am now which is why I am losing weight.
janejellyroll wrote: »Not a single one of them wants to date an overweight guy? Not even one?
Curious to know how you determined this.
Personal experience and that of my overweight friends. I can't speak to their motivations but I always looked at personality.
You do realize that your previous posts are still posted and everyone can see what you said right? I am going to Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V specific aspects of your post which is just 4 or 5 posts above this to try to make this as clear as possible.
You say "Nowhere did I say that the term was created out of a movement"
What you said word for word was "I like my women curvy, 1940's style, of course this movement has usurped the term to now mean morbidly obese.
Please explain to me how the bolded statement above doesn't say what you say it doesn't say. Your first post claims the movement has created the term then you say you never said the term was created out of a movement. Which one is it Louis?
I said the term morbidly obese was a medical term which it absolutely is, but yet, your response is to claim you didn't say what you clearly did say on the same page of the thread of what you said?
For your own personal reference, there is a scroll bar on the right hand side of the computer screen, and that gives us the ability to scroll both up and down on specific pages on a post. Because we have that ability,we can review previous posts, and it may be wiser for you not to claim that we didnt say stuff that we clearly did just to try to save face.
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LouisTamsi wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »
This assumes that you and your friends are so universally appealing to women that, but for your weight, nobody could possibly have a reason to reject you. But that type of man doesn't exist -- in the real world, even great guys sometimes don't appeal to individual women and get rejected.
I would submit that if none of the women in the fat acceptance movement want to date your or your friends, there may be another factor in play. Why do I think that? Because I know several women who would consider themselves advocates of fat acceptance who have happily dated overweight and obese men and women. Some of them even claim to prefer partners who are overweight.
Even if it's true that these women you and your friends have encountered are hypocritical in this regard, you realize you've only personally encountered a very small portion of those who would consider themselves to be part of this movement, right? To draw such a wide conclusion based on your personal experiences is unfounded.
You say that you can't speak to their motivations. But when you accuse every woman in this group of having "typical liberal double standards," you're assigning a motivation to them.
I give up!
Yeah, I'd give up too if I was you at this point, because Jane just owned you. There isn't any way for you to come up with an intelligent reply besides claiming all women are lesbians. Good luck though Louis.15 -
Being a heavy girl myself I have two comments.
I don't think being severely overweight should be glorified and accepted. It is generally unhealthy and people should strive to be their own version of healthy. I know I'm overweight, and so I'm doing something about it, because it's a healthy thing to do.
Having said that, I don't think weight in general should be the deciding factor on what makes a person worthy though. So in some ways, an acceptance for all is worth while, and a noble intention.
I don't think being a little overweight is the worst thing in the world, but once you get to the point where mobility is difficult.. it should be an overdue warning sign that you need to pull yourself together.
I wouldn't lie about what it is. Being morbidly obese is unhealthy and shouldn't be glorified, but there are other things that the world should seek in friendship/relationships in general, and that's the person themselves; Not just their physical appearance.
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I think there has to be responsibility around it. You can be a work in progress, happy with yourself and your efforts, knowing that you are making personal strides to better yourself. But, I find it offensive (and damaging) to suggest that people who are fat are (or should be) happy with their bodies. "I'm fat and I'm fabulous"! No..sorry. I don't buy that. Not only are they lying to themselves (I have been fat forever and have had many, many fat friends. Trust me, if you're fat, you're not happy. I'm not talking 20 pounds overweight, either.) I think there is a way to promote self-love with acknowledging that we all have our personal bests, and all have work to do to become better. I think in many ways it glamorizes being fat, and by proxy infers that there is no need to become less fat (aka healthy).6
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eileen0515 wrote: »All these acceptance movements are the result of everyone gets a trophy. When did we become a society when nobody should ever feel bad? It's never okay to to be cruel or unkind, ever. But this getting ridiculous.
Wrong. The acceptance movements and other movements are a result of people being treated like garbage over long periods of time.
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I have a few thoughts. I think the idea of stepping off the scale, not worrying what you look like, and focusing on how you feel is really great! Someone can be 200lbs, lethargic, and binge eating cheetos or 200lbs, going on walks daily, and happily eating well. The second person is living a healthy lifestyle while the first isn't giving much care to their body.
However, I have seen issues of shaming people who are big, happy, and interested in improving their health or losing weight. The purpose should be to support each other. Support includes acceptance from the broader community, however, and saying that loving yourself at any size is lazy and an excuse to be unhealthy is super harmful and just plain rude.0 -
People are so strange. When I'm at my usual weight (bmi 19.5-20.5) I get a lot of body shaming comments about being too thin, need to eat a burger, etc but now that I'm severely underweight (16.3) due to illness I don't get body shaming comments anymore. Now all I hear is how great I look. I hate hearing that because I am basically starving to death. 19.5 is too thin but 16.3 is great? I don't get it.9
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This makes a certain amount of sense, if the speakers know about your illness now and didn't before. Now what they mean is "You're probably scared about how thin you're getting so I want to say something positive and reassuring to help keep your morale high during your illness!" Before what they meant was, "If you're doing this on purpose you should maybe think twice about it before you get any thinner."singingflutelady wrote: »People are so strange. When I'm at my usual weight (bmi 19.5-20.5) I get a lot of body shaming comments about being too thin, need to eat a burger, etc but now that I'm severely underweight (16.3) due to illness I don't get body shaming comments anymore. Now all I hear is how great I look. I hate hearing that because I am basically starving to death. 19.5 is too thin but 16.3 is great? I don't get it.
In both cases, the remarks are pretty dumb, invasive, and have a different effect than intended, but it seems likely they are mostly well intended.
By the way I haven't seen a post explaining what your illness is but I'm sorry to hear you're not well and I hope you improve.
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Obviously fat shaming is wrong, but being overweight really is unhealthy- it’s bad for your heart and other organs! I’m fine if you are happy being overweight but you need to know the health problems that come with it. It does actually matter if you are overweight, not because of people’s judgement but because of your life expectancy.2
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rheddmobile wrote: »
This makes a certain amount of sense, if the speakers know about your illness now and didn't before. Now what they mean is "You're probably scared about how thin you're getting so I want to say something positive and reassuring to help keep your morale high during your illness!" Before what they meant was, "If you're doing this on purpose you should maybe think twice about it before you get any thinner."singingflutelady wrote: »People are so strange. When I'm at my usual weight (bmi 19.5-20.5) I get a lot of body shaming comments about being too thin, need to eat a burger, etc but now that I'm severely underweight (16.3) due to illness I don't get body shaming comments anymore. Now all I hear is how great I look. I hate hearing that because I am basically starving to death. 19.5 is too thin but 16.3 is great? I don't get it.
In both cases, the remarks are pretty dumb, invasive, and have a different effect than intended, but it seems likely they are mostly well intended.
By the way I haven't seen a post explaining what your illness is but I'm sorry to hear you're not well and I hope you improve.
@rheddmobile I have gastroparesis and Crohn's. I am just waiting for the call for inpatient TPN (nutrition through a PICC line )and once my weight is up a bit I'm going to get a J tube.3 -
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that - Crohn's sounds rough. Hope you get the help you need and that it works for you.singingflutelady wrote: »rheddmobile wrote: »
This makes a certain amount of sense, if the speakers know about your illness now and didn't before. Now what they mean is "You're probably scared about how thin you're getting so I want to say something positive and reassuring to help keep your morale high during your illness!" Before what they meant was, "If you're doing this on purpose you should maybe think twice about it before you get any thinner."singingflutelady wrote: »People are so strange. When I'm at my usual weight (bmi 19.5-20.5) I get a lot of body shaming comments about being too thin, need to eat a burger, etc but now that I'm severely underweight (16.3) due to illness I don't get body shaming comments anymore. Now all I hear is how great I look. I hate hearing that because I am basically starving to death. 19.5 is too thin but 16.3 is great? I don't get it.
In both cases, the remarks are pretty dumb, invasive, and have a different effect than intended, but it seems likely they are mostly well intended.
By the way I haven't seen a post explaining what your illness is but I'm sorry to hear you're not well and I hope you improve.
@rheddmobile I have gastroparesis and Crohn's. I am just waiting for the call for inpatient TPN (nutrition through a PICC line )and once my weight is up a bit I'm going to get a J tube.
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My father had extreme morbid obesity and died at 58 after struggling for 2 decades with multiple health problems--type 2 diabetes which led to vision problems and neuropathy, high blood pressure, heart disease which lead to a triple bypass, colon cancer, gastric reflux disease, sleep apnea, severe arthritis and joint pain in his knees, foot problems, and skin problems due to rubbing and moisture in skin folds. He spent most of his last year sitting and sleeping in a recliner surrounded by empty fast food containers and soda cups. He died during an operation for colon cancer--the cancer did not kill him, but he was in such poor physical condition that he died under anesthesia and never woke up after surgery. Don't be deluded by the possibility that poor food choices and health decisions won't catch up with you. You may be lucky, or you may spend years with health problems that you might have avoided. It may not be easy to lose weight, but it is much harder to manage a chronic condition like diabetes or cancer.16
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kristingjertsen wrote: »My father had extreme morbid obesity and died at 58 after struggling for 2 decades with multiple health problems--type 2 diabetes which led to vision problems and neuropathy, high blood pressure, heart disease which lead to a triple bypass, colon cancer, gastric reflux disease, sleep apnea, severe arthritis and joint pain in his knees, foot problems, and skin problems due to rubbing and moisture in skin folds. He spent most of his last year sitting and sleeping in a recliner surrounded by empty fast food containers and soda cups. He died during an operation for colon cancer--the cancer did not kill him, but he was in such poor physical condition that he died under anesthesia and never woke up after surgery. Don't be deluded by the possibility that poor food choices and health decisions won't catch up with you. You may be lucky, or you may spend years with health problems that you might have avoided. It may not be easy to lose weight, but it is much harder to manage a chronic condition like diabetes or cancer.
That's a pretty harrowing account. I'm very sorry to hear not only of your father's suffering but that you lost him so soon and had to watch him go through all that.
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Many believe that fat acceptance is based in the idea of glorifying obesity. Fat acceptance is simply the empowerment of fat people to love their body as it is and make informed choices about it while being treated with equal dignity by those who aren't overweight. It's about respecting the bodily autonomy of others and our limited knowlesge of their circumstances.7
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Fat acceptance is just one more way for ppl today to take even less responsibility for their actions. I appreciate the fat shaming I've received over my life because it just became more fuel for the fire of trying to fix it. Im for fat shaming (in moderation) and against fat acceptance (almost completely with the exception of legit medical conditions) because it is deadly, but if someone has a mindset that the opposite is true then I'm perfectly fine when they experience the consequences of that mindset. So long as their destroying their own lives doesn't affect mine, more power to em.8
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