Have you mourned?
Replies
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
But those comments don't lead me toSabine_Stroehm wrote: »
Not at all what I got from his comments.
Also, @endlessfall16, we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I may be misreading him then. So far he's outside said, "So, why worry and miss out and "mourn" the lack of a couple all out treat days a month? Where's the confidence in your self control?," has called the OP dramatic for their sense of loss -- all the while talking about how much he can eat and how satisfied he is while still losing weight.
This would be fine, absent the context that he's doing it in response to a thread discussing if people struggle with how they cannot eat as much as they used to, in the way they used to. It strikes me as obtusely missing the point at best, and deliberately mean-spirited at worst.
They lead me to context: he's male, he's bigger, he CAN eat more, and he's not considering it "mourning" to do without. My own response to this thread was to say that I didn't consider it "mourning" but rather being an adult. And being an adult isn't always fun.we get it: you can eat whatever you want and never have any trouble with your weight management, you special snowflake. Clearly this thread offers you nothing, unless what you want is to continually disagree with people who are telling you that their experience is very different than yours.
I 100% agree with you on the later -- being an adult sucks. I said as much in my own response; that it's less a mourning for me and more a nostalgia. But as an adult, I'm also allowed to express that this adulthood thing is *kitten* sometimes and I'm not happy about it.
I'm willing to concede that my "special snowflake" remark was off the mark. It was an emotional response to watching someone over and over again not understand the topic he's expounding in great detail on. Furthermore, where he says that people traded being overweight for being anxious -- a lot of us used to be both and only one of those goes away when you start counting calories.
So, I will apologize; I was being rude. But I stand behind the point that @endlessfall16 has also been condescending to people on the thread, apparently because he doesn't like the use of the word "mourn" to describe the mental aspect of how people are dealing with their relationship to food and how drastic a change to one's life it can be to change how you eat.
Cheers. The special snowflake comment was what got my attention.
Onward with adulting!
Can I postpone the adulting, like, fifteen more minutes while I finish my coffee?
Then I will adult the *kitten* out of my day-job here.
Absolutely!0 -
I don't mourn my old way of eating, but I do get tired of constantly having to think of food and how much or how little to eat, calories, try to keep macros balanced, etc. I'd like to just be able to go back to maintenance and not think about it. But I have about 18 lbs to lose so I will continue to count calories and watch everything that goes in my mouth. Hopefully by the time I'm at my goal weight, I can go back to maintenance and not think about it anymore.0
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Not really mourn, but definitely disappointment feelings. I used to just eat whatever was around whenever I felt like it. 2 pieces of toast with lots of peanut butter? Check. Huge bag of chips? Yes, in one sitting. Apples with 2 scoops of peanut butter? Check. Ice cream, cheesecake, and Dairy Queen blizzards? Check, check and check. But no more. Any exercise I could do wouldn't be enough to work off the calories. Cheesecake is very rare, and sugar free jello or a low carb yogurt is the normal dessert now. I do miss it but I don't at the same time. We have a complicated relationship. Lol.0
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blues4miles wrote: »endlessfall16 wrote: »
I don't remember I made any negative remarks to anyone, like you do here with me, but that's fine. If anything, positive people will find that I were trying to convey a can-do attitude, have-it-all through some self discipline and willpower. I myself would never settle for the rigid counting, watching, avoiding friends and family to save calories. I got overweight in the first place because of the very problem of being isolated, lack of excitement (food pleasure is cheap and plenty). It's convoluted to me to lose wt and get back in that cycle.So, I will apologize; I was being rude. But I stand behind the point that @endlessfall16 has also been condescending to people on the thread, apparently because he doesn't like the use of the word "mourn" to describe the mental aspect of how people are dealing with their relationship to food and how drastic a change to one's life it can be to change how you eat.
But sorry everything fell on deaf ears. I start to realize that lots of people are talking on high emotions and things may not come across correctly. I have no problem moving on. Cheers.
So...sorry/not-sorry you were right and we're just not positive enough or we are too emotional to understand? That's not very adult of you, and I think we agreed we're all gonna be adults now...
*said in Trump accent* "I am gonna adult the h-- out of this. It's gonna be huge."
LOL. Take it at literal sense that I was sorry things fell through the crack, maybe my inability to make things clearer.
But suppose we go with your interpretation, how is it my fault that you're not positive enough or too emotional to get what I mean?
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CrabNebula wrote: »
Well, I lost over 50lbs about 6 years ago and managed to maintain that weight loss without thinking about it for the last 6 years. I'm just wanting to lose a few more lbs, so I'm paying attention again. But, when I don't pay attention, I do actually naturally eat at maintenance.1 -
My days of wanting to do that are few and far between now. At this point I know I could do it for a day and have no lasting ill effects like weight gain but the temporary bloating and overall icky feeling make it not worth it to me. There's just no pull to do it anymore.
This is a nice place to get to, but it takes time. I used to fight the desire daily - now it's rare. If I eat too much, or not the right stuff my body lets me know. It's just not worth the physical suffering (and I don't even mean weight gain, I mean actual stomach pains, etc.).0 -
.[/quote]
I don't remember I made any negative remarks to anyone, like you do here with me, but that's fine. If anything, positive people will find that I were trying to convey a can-do attitude, have-it-all through some self discipline and willpower. I myself would never settle for the rigid counting, watching, avoiding friends and family to save calories. I got overweight in the first place because of the very problem of being isolated, lack of excitement (food pleasure is cheap and plenty). It's convoluted to me to lose wt and get back in that cycle.
But sorry everything fell on deaf ears. I start to realize that lots of people are talking on high emotions and things may not come across correctly. I have no problem moving on. Cheers.
[/quote]
The negative comment was when you said I wAs being dramatic. At least that's how I took it. I'm not offended but still think you're Barking up the wrong tree
I THINK you're point is that I order to make this a sustainable lifestyle change, you have to give in a little and trust that you can sometimes eat more, and make
Up for it on other days. That it isn't worth it to miss family and friend gatherings.
And I TOTALLYAGREE my thick skulled friend!!
I have never EVER said no to a fun event/gathering in the name of weight loss. I am perfectly fine with that. I throughout the enjoy all the events. I make
Choices to either overeat at those events or make room for more food by exercising more/saving other calories. Believe me i am living life!!
Here's where we disagree. Mathematically if i completely let loose On a regular basis I can't recoup those calories and I end up mantainjng instead of losing. I know this because it's what Has been happening for months.
So if I ever want to lose those last 10 lbs I need to get a little stricter. I can't continue to overeat so often if I want to create a deficit. I ain't working. It's math. I'm not depressed over it but I'm struggling accepting and moving towards my goal. You coming here and essentially bragging that you get to eat whatever you want
3 days a week doesn't help me. I guess you aren't here to help ans that's cool. Some people just
Like the sound of their voice.
But so many others here have given amazing perspective. Very helpful and I will have to go back and reread them on days I want to stop moving forward. Thank you all!0 -
I was reading some of these comments and remembering Jessica Simpson who, when she got famous, had a bangin' body, yes? I think we can mostly agree on that. And then she gained something like 80-100 lbs during pregnancy because... and I'm paraphrasing but, "I was sick of watching everything I ate. I wanted to, for once in my life, eat as much as I wanted to."
So it's not just formerly fat people. It's part of the human condition to Want to eat more. Evolution selected for that. Even thin people want to eat more, they just moderate better than we do/have in the past.
Also - I read in the Beck Diet Solution - thin people do in fact moderate their intake. They just don't think it's a hardship. You get those people that say "I eat what I want and I don't gain and it's so easy! blah blah blah" but they also have days where they get busy and only eat 500 calories and 'forgot' dinner or they are "so full" after just one cookie. So I guess the goal is for us all to learn how to join them there. 1 -
AceofIvies wrote: »I was reading some of these comments and remembering Jessica Simpson who, when she got famous, had a bangin' body, yes? I think we can mostly agree on that. And then she gained something like 80-100 lbs during pregnancy because... and I'm paraphrasing but, "I was sick of watching everything I ate. I wanted to, for once in my life, eat as much as I wanted to."
So it's not just formerly fat people. It's part of the human condition to Want to eat more. Evolution selected for that. Even thin people want to eat more, they just moderate better than we do/have in the past.
Also - I read in the Beck Diet Solution - thin people do in fact moderate their intake. They just don't think it's a hardship. You get those people that say "I eat what I want and I don't gain and it's so easy! blah blah blah" but they also have days where they get busy and only eat 500 calories and 'forgot' dinner or they are "so full" after just one cookie. So I guess the goal is for us all to learn how to join them there.AceofIvies wrote: »I was reading some of these comments and remembering Jessica Simpson who, when she got famous, had a bangin' body, yes? I think we can mostly agree on that. And then she gained something like 80-100 lbs during pregnancy because... and I'm paraphrasing but, "I was sick of watching everything I ate. I wanted to, for once in my life, eat as much as I wanted to."
So it's not just formerly fat people. It's part of the human condition to Want to eat more. Evolution selected for that. Even thin people want to eat more, they just moderate better than we do/have in the past.
Also - I read in the Beck Diet Solution - thin people do in fact moderate their intake. They just don't think it's a hardship. You get those people that say "I eat what I want and I don't gain and it's so easy! blah blah blah" but they also have days where they get busy and only eat 500 calories and 'forgot' dinner or they are "so full" after just one cookie. So I guess the goal is for us all to learn how to join them there.
Great points. I would love to be like some of my friends who swear they get so busy they forget to eat (but then enjoy it when the time is right)0 -
jaga, calling someone dramatic is negative? The Oscar has a category for the best drama. I suppose that's a bad thing, too ?
You start being rude with your comment. I'm done responding to you. It's a waste of time.0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »jaga, calling someone dramatic is negative? The Oscar has a category for the best drama. I suppose that's a bad thing, too ?
You start being rude with your comment. I'm done responding to you. It's a waste of time. [/
Ok!0 -
endlessfall16 wrote: »jaga, calling someone dramatic is negative? The Oscar has a category for the best drama. I suppose that's a bad thing, too ?
You start being rude with your comment. I'm done responding to you. It's a waste of time. [/
Ok!
Never thought I'd have to say it on MFP...but don't feed the troll...0 -
AceofIvies wrote: »I was reading some of these comments and remembering Jessica Simpson who, when she got famous, had a bangin' body, yes? I think we can mostly agree on that. And then she gained something like 80-100 lbs during pregnancy because... and I'm paraphrasing but, "I was sick of watching everything I ate. I wanted to, for once in my life, eat as much as I wanted to."
So it's not just formerly fat people. It's part of the human condition to Want to eat more. Evolution selected for that. Even thin people want to eat more, they just moderate better than we do/have in the past.
Also - I read in the Beck Diet Solution - thin people do in fact moderate their intake. They just don't think it's a hardship. You get those people that say "I eat what I want and I don't gain and it's so easy! blah blah blah" but they also have days where they get busy and only eat 500 calories and 'forgot' dinner or they are "so full" after just one cookie. So I guess the goal is for us all to learn how to join them there.
I don't think it's necessarily possible for people who have a history of overeating though... something about our hormones being out of whack? I mean, I'll NEVER understand the 'I'm so full after a cookie' or people skipping lunch. I get dizzy and weak and crabby when I'm hungry... and I get hungry like clockwork every 3 hours most of the time.1 -
AceofIvies wrote: »I was reading some of these comments and remembering Jessica Simpson who, when she got famous, had a bangin' body, yes? I think we can mostly agree on that. And then she gained something like 80-100 lbs during pregnancy because... and I'm paraphrasing but, "I was sick of watching everything I ate. I wanted to, for once in my life, eat as much as I wanted to."
So it's not just formerly fat people. It's part of the human condition to Want to eat more. Evolution selected for that. Even thin people want to eat more, they just moderate better than we do/have in the past.
Also - I read in the Beck Diet Solution - thin people do in fact moderate their intake. They just don't think it's a hardship. You get those people that say "I eat what I want and I don't gain and it's so easy! blah blah blah" but they also have days where they get busy and only eat 500 calories and 'forgot' dinner or they are "so full" after just one cookie. So I guess the goal is for us all to learn how to join them there.
I don't think it's necessarily possible for people who have a history of overeating though... something about our hormones being out of whack? I mean, I'll NEVER understand the 'I'm so full after a cookie' or people skipping lunch. I get dizzy and weak and crabby when I'm hungry... and I get hungry like clockwork every 3 hours most of the time.
Unfortunately you're probably right. I can completely change my behavior but I'll still FEEL the way I feel. The only time I skip lunch is if I had a breakfast so big it was like eating two meals. Never because I'm too busy or forget. How is that possible?!0
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