married chit-chatters?
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Ugh...goodness, I couldn't deal with that. That's a tough one. As you said before you're close to your mom, so I'm sure you're torn. Does your mom give you that side-eye, like, get control of your wife and pop a binky in her mouth type look?
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Still married.
Another week down.5 -
Is there anyone in here where the spouse doesn't get along with their in-laws? That's so tough on a relationship...0
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I get along with my in-laws and my husband gets along with my parents.1
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Sometimes I like my father-in-law more than my wife. I'm not sexually attracted to him though so it would never work.0
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I like my in-laws. My husband likes my family. Any issues we have with them are shared things we support each other about, away from them. Like if we visit my family, we need a little time away to talk and laugh about stuff (to keep our sanity).0
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This is a funny conversation to my wife and I. We both would gladly trade families. I feel like Rodney Dangerfield with mine (I don't get no respect!), and my wife thinks her parents are clueless when it comes to many things in life. I get along with her family just great, and I am pretty sure my wife is my mom's fave daughter-in-law (of 2).0
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My husband's mom and dad passed away before I married him. He said they would have loved me because I'm not like his ex-wife. I was told by his family she had a bad aditude with causing, didn't cook or clean,fighting and smoked a lot of weed. Lol My family likes him because he has a lot of good morales and loves me. Sometimes we have a few tiffys. Nothing major, but then agin we've only bin married 3 years0
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That's difficult. I hope things settle down. And maybe someday even improve. Just being a person living life has it's challenges. Then add another person (relationship) brings combined challenges. Then add families. And there can be strong emotions, clashing needs, hurt feelings. ♥1
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Hello,
I am married although right now things are very rough. But I am not looking for anything other than support to keep me on track with losing weight.2 -
Happily married for 13 years, here!0
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TaraLinnet wrote: »Hello,
I am married although right now things are very rough. But I am not looking for anything other than support to keep me on track with losing weight.
Hey Tara, how long have you been on mfp? Are you seeing any success toward your goals yet?0 -
We're happily married. Just celebrated our 29th anniversary. Was widowed 10 years before we married, had two children by my sweet first husband. Our children are all now in their 40s.
I was one of those people who got great in-laws -- both sets. all are now gone except for my present husband's father. I love him, but recently, I finally asked my husband why he doesn't especially like me. Ken said it's because he didn't like my mother, and he just hasn't been able to get beyond that. Well, I sure do understand! He's sweet anyway, whether he likes it or not.
As far as my husband goes, he's extremely good to me. I have had to caution him, however, not to spoil me too much, as Father did Mother. It wasn't good.0 -
RainaProske wrote: »We're happily married. Just celebrated our 29th anniversary. Was widowed 10 years before we married, had two children by my sweet first husband. Our children are all now in their 40s.
I was one of those people who got great in-laws -- both sets. all are now gone except for my present husband's father. I love him, but recently, I finally asked my husband why he doesn't especially like me. Ken said it's because he didn't like my mother, and he just hasn't been able to get beyond that. Well, I sure do understand! He's sweet anyway, whether he likes it or not.
As far as my husband goes, he's extremely good to me. I have had to caution him, however, not to spoil me too much, as Father did Mother. It wasn't good.
I'm curious about your comment about spoiling someone too much. In what way do you feel spoiling has negative consequences? Is spoiling doing too much for someone and how does spoiling differ from showing someone you care for them? I'm just curious......2 -
The book Boundaries was a helpful read for us in learning how to deal with the in-laws. We've both got good ones, but we share a farm with my husband's mom and get husband so we have to be clear about boundaries a lot1
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I'm very fortunate that I get along with my in-laws. My parents have both passed away, so I'm grateful to have them in my life. My MIL is such an encouragement and loving. Life can be tough at times, so I'm glad I have great in-laws.
I've been on MFP for 12 weeks now and finding it easy, but I've kind of stalled on the losing weight part. Following it to a tee...any ideas on how to "shake" things up to start losing again?0 -
Yeah. I do love my in-laws. Great mother-in-law and father-in-law. We have our differences. But, we love and respect eachother. Great brother and sisters-in law also! And I don't have a father of my own.1
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Lonestar5715 wrote: »RainaProske wrote: »We're happily married. Just celebrated our 29th anniversary. Was widowed 10 years before we married, had two children by my sweet first husband. Our children are all now in their 40s.
I was one of those people who got great in-laws -- both sets. all are now gone except for my present husband's father. I love him, but recently, I finally asked my husband why he doesn't especially like me. Ken said it's because he didn't like my mother, and he just hasn't been able to get beyond that. Well, I sure do understand! He's sweet anyway, whether he likes it or not.
As far as my husband goes, he's extremely good to me. I have had to caution him, however, not to spoil me too much, as Father did Mother. It wasn't good.
I'm curious about your comment about spoiling someone too much. In what way do you feel spoiling has negative consequences? Is spoiling doing too much for someone and how does spoiling differ from showing someone you care for them? I'm just curious......
No problem. It's just that I grew up with a mother who was totally spoiled, and it was Father who spoiled her, to her own hurt and her children's, especially hurting my oldest sister. I don't believe Mother matured emotionally past being 5 or so years old. For one example, she would have full-blown tantrums. For a second, everything was about her -- the most narcissistic person I've ever known, and I've known a few doozies. Just before she died, her home warned us that if she didn't stop hitting the nurses and other residents, she would have to find another home. 'Nough said.
I don't want to grow old to be so mean or so self-centered. And it's not that she changed in her old age; the problem was that she remained the same.1 -
RainaProske wrote: »Lonestar5715 wrote: »RainaProske wrote: »We're happily married. Just celebrated our 29th anniversary. Was widowed 10 years before we married, had two children by my sweet first husband. Our children are all now in their 40s.
I was one of those people who got great in-laws -- both sets. all are now gone except for my present husband's father. I love him, but recently, I finally asked my husband why he doesn't especially like me. Ken said it's because he didn't like my mother, and he just hasn't been able to get beyond that. Well, I sure do understand! He's sweet anyway, whether he likes it or not.
As far as my husband goes, he's extremely good to me. I have had to caution him, however, not to spoil me too much, as Father did Mother. It wasn't good.
I'm curious about your comment about spoiling someone too much. In what way do you feel spoiling has negative consequences? Is spoiling doing too much for someone and how does spoiling differ from showing someone you care for them? I'm just curious......
No problem. It's just that I grew up with a mother who was totally spoiled, and it was Father who spoiled her, to her own hurt and her children's, especially hurting my oldest sister. I don't believe Mother matured emotionally past being 5 or so years old. For one example, she would have full-blown tantrums. For a second, everything was about her -- the most narcissistic person I've ever known, and I've known a few doozies. Just before she died, her home warned us that if she didn't stop hitting the nurses and other residents, she would have to find another home. 'Nough said.
I don't want to grow old to be so mean or so self-centered. And it's not that she changed in her old age; the problem was that she remained the same.
Thanks Raina, I'm sorry your Mom had such struggles with self-centeredness. At least it sounds like you saw the negative side of her behavior and used it as an example of who you didn't want to emulate as an adult.1 -
celestehughesbradley wrote: »I'm very fortunate that I get along with my in-laws. My parents have both passed away, so I'm grateful to have them in my life. My MIL is such an encouragement and loving. Life can be tough at times, so I'm glad I have great in-laws.
I've been on MFP for 12 weeks now and finding it easy, but I've kind of stalled on the losing weight part. Following it to a tee...any ideas on how to "shake" things up to start losing again?
Drop a bit more sugar and carbs, up the same amount of protein and increase exercise by 5 mins. Adjustments help but you've already done so much you don't want start thinking it's not enough so make adjustments in inches, not feet.
Few inches of sugar, etc etc.
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RainaProske wrote: »Lonestar5715 wrote: »RainaProske wrote: »We're happily married. Just celebrated our 29th anniversary. Was widowed 10 years before we married, had two children by my sweet first husband. Our children are all now in their 40s.
I was one of those people who got great in-laws -- both sets. all are now gone except for my present husband's father. I love him, but recently, I finally asked my husband why he doesn't especially like me. Ken said it's because he didn't like my mother, and he just hasn't been able to get beyond that. Well, I sure do understand! He's sweet anyway, whether he likes it or not.
As far as my husband goes, he's extremely good to me. I have had to caution him, however, not to spoil me too much, as Father did Mother. It wasn't good.
I'm curious about your comment about spoiling someone too much. In what way do you feel spoiling has negative consequences? Is spoiling doing too much for someone and how does spoiling differ from showing someone you care for them? I'm just curious......
No problem. It's just that I grew up with a mother who was totally spoiled, and it was Father who spoiled her, to her own hurt and her children's, especially hurting my oldest sister. I don't believe Mother matured emotionally past being 5 or so years old. For one example, she would have full-blown tantrums. For a second, everything was about her -- the most narcissistic person I've ever known, and I've known a few doozies. Just before she died, her home warned us that if she didn't stop hitting the nurses and other residents, she would have to find another home. 'Nough said.
I don't want to grow old to be so mean or so self-centered. And it's not that she changed in her old age; the problem was that she remained the same.
I can't diagnose anyone. And it's definitely possible the "spoiling" or what appeared to be spoiling led to that. But, I can't help but wonder if there was something more than that, something more dysfunctional, going on that led to her erratic personality disorder. Something she was never able to deal with properly. Just seems extreme for only being given lots of attention. But, then again, I have read that can happen. So maybe it was just from that. Sorry you had to go through that with her. ♥1 -
celestehughesbradley wrote: »I'm very fortunate that I get along with my in-laws. My parents have both passed away, so I'm grateful to have them in my life. My MIL is such an encouragement and loving. Life can be tough at times, so I'm glad I have great in-laws.
I've been on MFP for 12 weeks now and finding it easy, but I've kind of stalled on the losing weight part. Following it to a tee...any ideas on how to "shake" things up to start losing again?
Drop a bit more sugar and carbs, up the same amount of protein and increase exercise by 5 mins. Adjustments help but you've already done so much you don't want start thinking it's not enough so make adjustments in inches, not feet.
Few inches of sugar, etc etc.
Thank you...I'll try that.0 -
BinaryPulsar wrote: »I can't diagnose anyone. And it's definitely possible the "spoiling" or what appeared to be spoiling led to that. But, I can't help but wonder if there was something more than that, something more dysfunctional, going on that led to her erratic personality disorder. Something she was never able to deal with properly. Just seems extreme for only being given lots of attention. But, then again, I have read that can happen. So maybe it was just from that. Sorry you had to go through that with her. ♥
You have a point. Between Lonestar5715 and you, you've put the thought in my head that makes me wonder what horror she went through to make her like that. This will probably help me build some compassion for her -- something I really need even though she's gone. . . .2 -
So what is everyone doing for the Holiday weekend assuming you live in the states?0
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My stepson and his girls are coming up, and my husband and I are all going to my daughter's house to celebrate, as we do yearly. Expecting my daughter, her husband, and her three children, with my grandson's girlfriend; my son and his family (wife and three children); then there will be a cousin from my first marriage with his family; my son-in-law's sister w/boyfriend; at least one daughter-in-law's brother and his family; and maybe more. I always bring the cold drinks and paper/plastic serving stuff, but because my stepson and family are coming, I plan to make and a huge bring potato salad and some vegies to dip in Ranch sauce.
Oh, and maybe we'll watch some YouTube.com/MarkDice -- especially the one about 4 July!
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Sounds good Raina, potato salad over the 4th of July holiday is a must right? It's great so many of your family are attending!1
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I am in Canada (Friday is Canada Day), but we are celebrating my daughter's 12th birthday. Taking her and her two best friends to the movies and dinner and taking her to get a book at the bookstore. Maybe we will see fireworks on Friday (probably from a distance up on a mountain).2
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That sounds good too BinaryPulsar, is your daughter a bookworm? What genre does she like best? Is Canada Day a holiday that most people have off in Canada?1
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