help please

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  • xxnellie146xx
    xxnellie146xx Posts: 996 Member
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    Cops generally don't get involved in custody battles unless you have appropriate paperwork and even then it usually has to go through the courts. Have you had a consultation with a lawyer? Many places are free. Have you gone to court and filed paperwork? There is a lot that you can try.
  • Shaky44
    Shaky44 Posts: 214 Member
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    <snip>
    (IDK it worries me that he suddenly wants all his kids back? I knew an ex BF who married a woman who was like a child support collector. Bunches of kids from bunches of daddies. He sounds like the male version of that and like 50 year old lady just got wise.)

    If OP is still owed 5 years of child support by father, would court really enforce a support payment by mother?
  • SANDRA_F26
    SANDRA_F26 Posts: 180
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    Ive filed paper work with courts and i have not been granted any consultations with any lawyers Ive had a few say they'll call me back but nothing even when I call them back nothing. I went to legal services directly to appy for assistance. they told me straight up they could not help me. thank you for the website tho Ill check that out.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    New question...who are "they"? Is his father remarried? Living with mom?

    ooh I just found my original question so the short answer was "BOTH".
  • xxnellie146xx
    xxnellie146xx Posts: 996 Member
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    Go to probate get and get paperwork. You don't need a lawyer to do so.
  • CapnGordo
    CapnGordo Posts: 327
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    It was my understanding if I did not file my own parenting plan they would go with his plan all together.
    Not filing a parenting plan, and then allowing your child to go with the father, demonstrates a great lack of responsibility and/or concern for the child's whereabouts. I would assume that the judge will certainly factor this into his/her decision.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    have you been keeping a record of phone calls?
    have you sent any money, clothing, bought any supplies for the child? and kept a record?
    have you received any kind of pictures, or things the child has made for you?

    im actually curious as to why the child support court hasnt summond him to court, they must know the child isn't living with you, or a warrant would have been issued for his arrest
    and im willing to bet he has a record of all the expenses the child has acquired in a year.
    im willing to bet he has a record of all the times you called or made an effort to contact the child in person
  • xxnellie146xx
    xxnellie146xx Posts: 996 Member
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    im actually curious as to why the child support court hasnt summond him to court, they must know the child isn't living with you, or a warrant would have been issued for his arrest

    This. You were already involved in the court at one point. Have you contacted the DOR in your state? If he hasn't paid can't you file for contempt?
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    Chit Chat fun and games........*scratches head* and grabs her popcorn
  • delaniecastillo
    delaniecastillo Posts: 284
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    Chit Chat fun and games........*scratches head* and grabs her popcorn

    I posted Lawyer cat and Lawyer dog for funs.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Chit Chat fun and games........*scratches head* and grabs her popcorn

    Well, unfortunately MFP doesn't have a Drama section for these things.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    im actually curious as to why the child support court hasnt summond him to court, they must know the child isn't living with you, or a warrant would have been issued for his arrest

    This. You were already involved in the court at one point. Have you contacted the DOR in your state? If he hasn't paid can't you file for contempt?

    she could actually but...the child is living with the father and she said he hasn't paid. they would both get into serious hot water for deceiving the courts(maybe not serious hot water but it would be frowned upon)
  • xxnellie146xx
    xxnellie146xx Posts: 996 Member
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    im actually curious as to why the child support court hasnt summond him to court, they must know the child isn't living with you, or a warrant would have been issued for his arrest

    This. You were already involved in the court at one point. Have you contacted the DOR in your state? If he hasn't paid can't you file for contempt?

    she could actually but...the child is living with the father and she said he hasn't paid. they would both get into serious hot water for deceiving the courts

    True, but if she is having such a hard time getting the court or someone to help her or getting her son back, it might be worth it.

    I know that custody issues can continue on forever and ever, but I feel like there is so much that could have/can be done.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    <snip>
    (IDK it worries me that he suddenly wants all his kids back? I knew an ex BF who married a woman who was like a child support collector. Bunches of kids from bunches of daddies. He sounds like the male version of that and like 50 year old lady just got wise.)

    If OP is still owed 5 years of child support by father, would court really enforce a support payment by mother?

    yes she would have to start paying child support
  • SANDRA_F26
    SANDRA_F26 Posts: 180
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    Ive been talking with child support periodicly. They are still having him pay back child support My caseworker hasnt said anything about me paying yet.
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
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    I don't think OP has really said whether or not her son is in a bad situation. Since the police have been no help in getting the son back, it seems like maybe there is no pressing reason for them to remove the child from his father and that the child is not in a questionable situation - or removing him would result in him being in a worse situation.

    OP, if you really want your son, you need to go back to court and get both custody and visitation clarified in a order. As others have said, I can't believe that you cant get this taken care of in in court. My ex and I agreed on both custody and visitation/parenting plan and filed our papers ourselves WITHOUT legal representation and they were approved by the court within 90 days. You don't need a ton of money to do this. Once something is filed, a hearing date is set - it doesn't just "float around" for a year. Are you putting this off because the father has reasons to contest a change in custody?

    Even if you do get custody, is it in the best interest of your child/children at this point in time? You are about to have a new baby. Are you ready to take on two children at once including one with special needs? Do you have someone to help you? Will you be able to work to support two children? (My daycare for two kids was essentially as expensive as a second mortgage and that was with a dual income.) Are you able to provide AT LEAST - preferably better - care than your son is getting now? Will a big change like this be too stressful for your son? Or you?

    These are hard questions and I don't mean them to be mean. I'm not questioning YOU, but instead throwing out some questions you should be asking yourself. (Obviously you shouldn't be answering them in this forum.) You, your unborn child, and your son will all be affected by this. As a mother, I can't imagine not being able to see my kids so understand how hard it must be to be away from him. Regardless of the situation, you have my sympathy in that.
  • SANDRA_F26
    SANDRA_F26 Posts: 180
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    I was only talking in past tense becuase I was trying to explain my side of what was happening when I had him I still love him I love him so much it hurts. And my son is more important then any relationship id get rid of the man before i got rid of my kid. I just made a mistake and im paying for it. I guess I was hoping to get a little support mayb from someone here whos gone thru something similar. but all im getting for the most part is gee your a freaking lying dumba$$ And Im sorry if somehow I gave anyonre that impression. and They have my son home schooled so there is no way to just pick him up from school. Its like the boy is on lock down.

    the reason people are thinking theres more to the story is because there HAS to be.
    you simply cannot come on here, say your ex took your kid a year ago and wont give him back, and expect nothing but support.
    you are coming off like an absolute lunatic.

    let me see if im up to speed...

    you had a child with someone you were in a relationship X number of years ago. you 2 broke up, and neither did anything as far as custody/obligations.
    then at some point in 2012 (summer?) you let your child go visit his father for the summer with the understanding (verbal?) that the child would be returned in august.
    at some point during this time, "they" started calling you demanding you drop the child support and getting nasty. it was then that you called the police. cops called him to find out wtf is up and he says hes bringing the kid back. he doesnt. the next event is that the father is going to file for full custody. you filed your own plan in dispute and arent getting much response.

    when you tried thru legal services and got turned down, why did they turn you down?
    you tried going to the home of the ex, and cant get near him?

    edited to add 2 more questions:

    how far along are you in your current pregnancy, and are you in a stable relationship?
    do you work?

    i think these are all questions that the legal system are taking into account when you are asking for full custody of your child.
  • SANDRA_F26
    SANDRA_F26 Posts: 180
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    Finally got a chance to look at all the posts. wasnt trying to ignore people just wasnt seeing everyones posts.
  • CapnGordo
    CapnGordo Posts: 327
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    How old is the kid, again?

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