SABOTAGE
Replies
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It's easy for me because I have no problem pissing people off and telling them to shove it. Stand up to the *kitten* holes and things will be a lot easier.4
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SassyMommasaurus wrote: »It's easy for me because I have no problem pissing people off and telling them to shove it. Stand up to the *kitten* holes and things will be a lot easier.
Hahaha *kitten* holes.4 -
Me because I'm the one forcing people to eat ice cream huehue
I can say it's my parents, but more in a funny than evil and purposeful way?0 -
wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
See this is the problem. To build lifelong habits you need to learn how to deal with food being everywhere around you. If you don't learn that while dieting then when? Unless you plan on living in some uninhabited island there will always be food almost everywhere you go. Having to experience it first hand while dieting is actually a good thing, and would help you decide which strategies to keep for maintenance and which to toss. If anything those people are helping you more than they are sabotaging you (although I believe most people are offering food out of love and politeness with no malicious intent).
You think those of us who allow indulgences are not struggling? Well, yes and no. Many of us adopt a more relaxed approach: if it fits into my calorie budget and I want it, I will have it. If it doesn't fit and I really really want it, I might also have it and accept a higher calorie day, plan for it in advance or make up for it later. If I don't want it, or want it but not enough to warrant spending the calories then I don't have it. In a sense I have found the way of least resistance possible under the circumstances, but it does not mean I don't put a lot of effort into every decision or that I don't have to tell myself a firm no sometimes when it's warranted. We work just as hard as you do, you know, we just don't deliberately make it even harder. Even with a firm plan in place I do slip up sometimes. Nobody is perfect. It's just easier and I'm quicker to move on when it happens if my approach is not built on guilt and shame.
I feel like a lot of the struggle in many dieting attempts is self inflicted as a result of an unsustainable approach if you go way and beyond to resist every time or if you rigidly stick to an approach that does not work well with your personality. How long would this last? How often would it just result in a "screw it" followed by uncontrolled shoveling of food feeling like you "failed"? Wouldn't planned full control over the choices and amounts of food with a strategy to deal with the results without guilt be much better both physically and psychologically?
For some people, saying no is easier than making food choice decisions, for others it's the other way around. Learning more about yourself and what makes dieting more tolerable is key. The best diet is the one the feels the easiest out of all the options available and can be sustained long term with as minimal of a psychological footprint as possible under the circumstances.
P.S: A 2-finger KitKat has 100 calories and is extremely easy to fit into my allowance, so it's my go-to when I feel like having something chocolatey. When I feel like having something biscuity and don't have a lot of calories, single serving Oreo packets are perfect (4 in a packet). I don't like the cream anyway so I scrape it off and end up with 8 biscuits for 80 calories.
P.P.S: 93 pounds down.
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SurfCityBeachGuy wrote: »Who is trying to Sabotage your Diet ? Is it Family or a Friend ?
Now that basketball season is over, no one. Until last week it was the NBA. Every time an important game was on, Adam Silver would telepathically drag me to a bar to watch it, and then of course I had to drink. The last month has been a rollercoaster of drinking and pigging out one day, then fasting the next to compensate.
But since the Cavs won the Finals and therefore I'm never watching basketball again, I don't have to worry about any of that anymore.1 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
See this is the problem. To build lifelong habits you need to learn how to deal with food being everywhere around you. If you don't learn that while dieting then when? Unless you plan on living in some uninhabited island there will always be food almost everywhere you go. Having to experience it first hand while dieting is actually a good thing, and would help you decide which strategies to keep for maintenance and which to toss. If anything those people are helping you more than they are sabotaging you (although I believe most people are offering food out of love and politeness with no malicious intent).
You think those of us who allow indulgences are not struggling? Well, yes and no. Many of us adopt a more relaxed approach: if it fits into my calorie budget and I want it, I will have it. If it doesn't fit and I really really want it, I might also have it and accept a higher calorie day, plan for it in advance or make up for it later. If I don't want it, or want it but not enough to warrant spending the calories then I don't have it. In a sense I have found the way of least resistance possible under the circumstances, but it does not mean I don't put a lot of effort into every decision or that I don't have to tell myself a firm no sometimes when it's warranted. We work just as hard as you do, you know, we just don't deliberately make it even harder. Even with a firm plan in place I do slip up sometimes. Nobody is perfect. It's just easier and I'm quicker to move on when it happens if my approach is not built on guilt and shame.
I feel like a lot of the struggle in many dieting attempts is self inflicted as a result of an unsustainable approach if you go way and beyond to resist every time or if you rigidly stick to an approach that does not work well with your personality. How long would this last? How often would it just result in a "screw it" followed by uncontrolled shoveling of food feeling like you "failed"? Wouldn't planned full control over the choices and amounts of food with a strategy to deal with the results without guilt be much better both physically and psychologically?
For some people, saying no is easier than making food choice decisions, for others it's the other way around. Learning more about yourself and what makes dieting more tolerable is key. The best diet is the one the feels the easiest out of all the options available and can be sustained long term with as minimal of a psychological footprint as possible under the circumstances.
P.S: A 2-finger KitKat has 100 calories and is extremely easy to fit into my allowance, so it's my go-to when I feel like having something chocolatey. When I feel like having something biscuity and don't have a lot of calories, single serving Oreo packets are perfect (4 in a packet). I don't like the cream anyway so I scrape it off and end up with 8 biscuits for 80 calories.
P.P.S: 93 pounds down.
Well said!!
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In a book I'm reading at the moment, one passage resonated with me, where the girl says that in weight loss there will always be the point when people will make comments like "you look so much better without the extra weight, but stop now or you'll look gaunt", while they literally mean "you'll be thinner than me and possibly prettier!". I sometimes feel like that with my mum who was alway the thinner and prettier one - and now I actually fit in her clothes (and "borrow" them sometimes)! I know I'm being a bit unfair to her, but when she told me yesterday after not seing me since before I started this diet I should stop because "less weight wouldn't really suit me" I immediately thought of the book. The same problem can occur with friends but I don't have that many friends around anyway and luckily the only issue I have with them is balancing having a "fun time" with them and also always keeping an eye on the calories - which isn't always easy.
And also people like grandmas who are so happy for you not being that fat anymore, but don't see that as a reason to stop pushing food (esp. cake) and sweets on you. Bless them.
But I am a bit obsessive at the moment and probably not much fun to be around when food is involved. Not that I ever am, as I always get moody when I have to wait for a meal for too long! But now I get moody AND I still need to know how many calories I'm consuming! A big sorry to my family and friends here and most importantly, Grandma, for annoying you so much with my diet-talk and watching what and how you cook during my last visit!
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wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
I'm not fond of the insinuation that people who are saying that we work those foods into our diet (noun) in moderation do it effortlessly as if it is so much harder for some people than it is for others. Learning to moderate food choices is work. Many people struggle as they are practicing (hence why we call it practicing moderation). That we don't want to blame others for offering us food while we are working on losing weight, calling them saboteurs, doesn't mean these posts are smug and condescending. It may mean that it is important to view ourselves as completely in control of what we choose to eat, whether or not it fits in our calories for the day. It is empowering to realize that no one can make you eat something you don't want to eat. It's also empowering (but a topic for different threads) to realize there is nothing inherently bad about any food, that sugar can be consumed in moderation, that carbs aren't evil, etc.
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wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
You seem to assume these people you're taking aim at haven't had these problems before and haven't had to learn how to build up willpower. I'd say everyone here who has successfully lost weight has had the same struggle, but you make it sound like you're part of special group of people who have had to struggle whilst everyone else has had an easy time - now that's condescending.10 -
No one.1
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wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
No. Just no.4 -
SurfCityBeachGuy wrote: »You mean no one has ever offered you a piece of cake, cookies or a candy bar ? Desserts, Ice Cream or Fattening Foods ?
Sabotage is more dark and covert when someone secretly or continually tries to get you to go against your goals for the purpose of not reaching your goal.
By being offered a piece of cake or a dessert, the person can be seen as believing in you by offering you something that they know you can make a decision on that will fit your goals. You have the power to say yes or no and your friend believes you can & will make the right decision for yourself. That's acceptance and belief in your goals; not sabotage.
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I have a friend who was trying to lose weight with her husband. It was more of a contest to see who could lose the weight the fastest. The husband cheated by replacing her protein powder with a weight gain protein powder. This is real SABOTAGE!!6
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amusedmonkey wrote: »wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
See this is the problem. To build lifelong habits you need to learn how to deal with food being everywhere around you. If you don't learn that while dieting then when? Unless you plan on living in some uninhabited island there will always be food almost everywhere you go. Having to experience it first hand while dieting is actually a good thing, and would help you decide which strategies to keep for maintenance and which to toss. If anything those people are helping you more than they are sabotaging you (although I believe most people are offering food out of love and politeness with no malicious intent).
You think those of us who allow indulgences are not struggling? Well, yes and no. Many of us adopt a more relaxed approach: if it fits into my calorie budget and I want it, I will have it. If it doesn't fit and I really really want it, I might also have it and accept a higher calorie day, plan for it in advance or make up for it later. If I don't want it, or want it but not enough to warrant spending the calories then I don't have it. In a sense I have found the way of least resistance possible under the circumstances, but it does not mean I don't put a lot of effort into every decision or that I don't have to tell myself a firm no sometimes when it's warranted. We work just as hard as you do, you know, we just don't deliberately make it even harder. Even with a firm plan in place I do slip up sometimes. Nobody is perfect. It's just easier and I'm quicker to move on when it happens if my approach is not built on guilt and shame.
I feel like a lot of the struggle in many dieting attempts is self inflicted as a result of an unsustainable approach if you go way and beyond to resist every time or if you rigidly stick to an approach that does not work well with your personality. How long would this last? How often would it just result in a "screw it" followed by uncontrolled shoveling of food feeling like you "failed"? Wouldn't planned full control over the choices and amounts of food with a strategy to deal with the results without guilt be much better both physically and psychologically?
For some people, saying no is easier than making food choice decisions, for others it's the other way around. Learning more about yourself and what makes dieting more tolerable is key. The best diet is the one the feels the easiest out of all the options available and can be sustained long term with as minimal of a psychological footprint as possible under the circumstances.
P.S: A 2-finger KitKat has 100 calories and is extremely easy to fit into my allowance, so it's my go-to when I feel like having something chocolatey. When I feel like having something biscuity and don't have a lot of calories, single serving Oreo packets are perfect (4 in a packet). I don't like the cream anyway so I scrape it off and end up with 8 biscuits for 80 calories.
P.P.S: 93 pounds down.
I agree, Eating a Kit Kat on ocacssion is ok as long as it fits in your total daily calories allowed.0 -
TitaniaEcks wrote: »SurfCityBeachGuy wrote: »Who is trying to Sabotage your Diet ? Is it Family or a Friend ?
Now that basketball season is over, no one. Until last week it was the NBA. Every time an important game was on, Adam Silver would telepathically drag me to a bar to watch it, and then of course I had to drink. The last month has been a rollercoaster of drinking and pigging out one day, then fasting the next to compensate.
But since the Cavs won the Finals and therefore I'm never watching basketball again, I don't have to worry about any of that anymore.
Keep up the good work. An occassional drink is ok. I dont think you need to Fast. The body needs Fuel for energy.
You look Great !0 -
SurfCityBeachGuy wrote: »Christine_72 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »Last time i checked, no one was slipping ghee into my dinner while i wasnt looking, so no one.
Haha that's what hubby does to me. He doesn't have to watch his weight, so he makes sure to put extra globs of butter or oil in the dishes if he cooks, he puts twice as much on my plate as he does his. I had a fruit salad sitting in the fridge, he decides to sprinkle sugar all over it. I go to bed early to watch tv, one of the reasons being so I'm not tempted to snack.. Who comes in with a plate of yummy tidbits, yep, my husband!!
He doesn't want me fat, pudgy or overweight or anything like that, he just does not want me to lose one more ounce, and prefers me at the normal weight i am now, and to be honest I'm not fussed if i lose any more either, even though I've got more 4ish more lbs to goal weight.
Tell your husband that to much butter or Fat is not good for the Heart. They say Sugar is really not Good for your Health either.
Butter and fat are not at all bad for you. That myth has been totally debunked.
Sugar is only bad for you if you have a pre-existing condition that necessitates limiting sugar (e.g. insulin resistance, diabetes, etc).
Mind blowing, I know.
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amusedmonkey wrote: »wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
See this is the problem. To build lifelong habits you need to learn how to deal with food being everywhere around you. If you don't learn that while dieting then when? Unless you plan on living in some uninhabited island there will always be food almost everywhere you go. Having to experience it first hand while dieting is actually a good thing, and would help you decide which strategies to keep for maintenance and which to toss. If anything those people are helping you more than they are sabotaging you (although I believe most people are offering food out of love and politeness with no malicious intent).
You think those of us who allow indulgences are not struggling? Well, yes and no. Many of us adopt a more relaxed approach: if it fits into my calorie budget and I want it, I will have it. If it doesn't fit and I really really want it, I might also have it and accept a higher calorie day, plan for it in advance or make up for it later. If I don't want it, or want it but not enough to warrant spending the calories then I don't have it. In a sense I have found the way of least resistance possible under the circumstances, but it does not mean I don't put a lot of effort into every decision or that I don't have to tell myself a firm no sometimes when it's warranted. We work just as hard as you do, you know, we just don't deliberately make it even harder. Even with a firm plan in place I do slip up sometimes. Nobody is perfect. It's just easier and I'm quicker to move on when it happens if my approach is not built on guilt and shame.
I feel like a lot of the struggle in many dieting attempts is self inflicted as a result of an unsustainable approach if you go way and beyond to resist every time or if you rigidly stick to an approach that does not work well with your personality. How long would this last? How often would it just result in a "screw it" followed by uncontrolled shoveling of food feeling like you "failed"? Wouldn't planned full control over the choices and amounts of food with a strategy to deal with the results without guilt be much better both physically and psychologically?
For some people, saying no is easier than making food choice decisions, for others it's the other way around. Learning more about yourself and what makes dieting more tolerable is key. The best diet is the one the feels the easiest out of all the options available and can be sustained long term with as minimal of a psychological footprint as possible under the circumstances.
P.S: A 2-finger KitKat has 100 calories and is extremely easy to fit into my allowance, so it's my go-to when I feel like having something chocolatey. When I feel like having something biscuity and don't have a lot of calories, single serving Oreo packets are perfect (4 in a packet). I don't like the cream anyway so I scrape it off and end up with 8 biscuits for 80 calories.
P.P.S: 93 pounds down.
Well said!!
93 pounds down is Awesome ! Congrats !0 -
In a book I'm reading at the moment, one passage resonated with me, where the girl says that in weight loss there will always be the point when people will make comments like "you look so much better without the extra weight, but stop now or you'll look gaunt", while they literally mean "you'll be thinner than me and possibly prettier!". I sometimes feel like that with my mum who was alway the thinner and prettier one - and now I actually fit in her clothes (and "borrow" them sometimes)! I know I'm being a bit unfair to her, but when she told me yesterday after not seing me since before I started this diet I should stop because "less weight wouldn't really suit me" I immediately thought of the book. The same problem can occur with friends but I don't have that many friends around anyway and luckily the only issue I have with them is balancing having a "fun time" with them and also always keeping an eye on the calories - which isn't always easy.
And also people like grandmas who are so happy for you not being that fat anymore, but don't see that as a reason to stop pushing food (esp. cake) and sweets on you. Bless them.
But I am a bit obsessive at the moment and probably not much fun to be around when food is involved. Not that I ever am, as I always get moody when I have to wait for a meal for too long! But now I get moody AND I still need to know how many calories I'm consuming! A big sorry to my family and friends here and most importantly, Grandma, for annoying you so much with my diet-talk and watching what and how you cook during my last visit!
"you'll be thinner than me and possibly prettier!" IS SO TRUE ~0 -
queenliz99 wrote: »I have a friend who was trying to lose weight with her husband. It was more of a contest to see who could lose the weight the fastest. The husband cheated by replacing her protein powder with a weight gain protein powder. This is real SABOTAGE!!
Replacing Powders....Thats not nice !0 -
I'm not dieting because it's my lifestyle and medical reasons that led me to where I was 2 months ago and it's my new lifestyle that is now helping me get healthy. I do eat what I want within my calories and if I go over its because I chose to over eat.1
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queenliz99 wrote: »I have a friend who was trying to lose weight with her husband. It was more of a contest to see who could lose the weight the fastest. The husband cheated by replacing her protein powder with a weight gain protein powder. This is real SABOTAGE!!
What a horrible person!0 -
wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
You seem to assume these people you're taking aim at haven't had these problems before and haven't had to learn how to build up willpower. I'd say everyone here who has successfully lost weight has had the same struggle, but you make it sound like you're part of special group of people who have had to struggle whilst everyone else has had an easy time - now that's condescending.
You're completely wrong. You're saying it's no harder for a person with an eating disorder to eat healthy. That's the same as saying it's no harder for a depressed person to get out of bed in the morning, or it's no harder for a person with dyslexia to learn to read, or its no harder for a person with social anxiety disorder to speak publically, or a person with no legs to learn how to walk. It's completely ignorant and arrogant. It is *not* the same for all of us. Arrogance doesn't make you right.0 -
SurfCityBeachGuy wrote: »You mean no one has ever offered you a piece of cake, cookies or a candy bar ? Desserts, Ice Cream or Fattening Foods ?
Sabotage is more dark and covert when someone secretly or continually tries to get you to go against your goals for the purpose of not reaching your goal.
By being offered a piece of cake or a dessert, the person can be seen as believing in you by offering you something that they know you can make a decision on that will fit your goals. You have the power to say yes or no and your friend believes you can & will make the right decision for yourself. That's acceptance and belief in your goals; not sabotage.
Sabotage can be using any means, including psychological manipulation to thwart someone else's efforts.0 -
wandajnevills wrote: »wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
You seem to assume these people you're taking aim at haven't had these problems before and haven't had to learn how to build up willpower. I'd say everyone here who has successfully lost weight has had the same struggle, but you make it sound like you're part of special group of people who have had to struggle whilst everyone else has had an easy time - now that's condescending.
You're completely wrong. You're saying it's no harder for a person with an eating disorder to eat healthy. That's the same as saying it's no harder for a depressed person to get out of bed in the morning, or it's no harder for a person with dyslexia to learn to read, or its no harder for a person with social anxiety disorder to speak publically, or a person with no legs to learn how to walk. It's completely ignorant and arrogant. It is *not* the same for all of us. Arrogance doesn't make you right.
I'm confused. Your original comment calling people smug and condescending mentioned nothing about an eating disorder. The OP mentioned nothing about eating disorders either. You said that some people had a harder time resisting temptation while some seem to find it easier. No mention of eating disorders and specific challenges individuals with ED may be dealing with as they struggle to develop healthy habits.
Moving the goalposts to now imply that we aren't being respectful of those battling eating disorders and implying that we are disrespectful of other mental and physical challenges is particularly offensive...
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WinoGelato wrote: »wandajnevills wrote: »wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
You seem to assume these people you're taking aim at haven't had these problems before and haven't had to learn how to build up willpower. I'd say everyone here who has successfully lost weight has had the same struggle, but you make it sound like you're part of special group of people who have had to struggle whilst everyone else has had an easy time - now that's condescending.
You're completely wrong. You're saying it's no harder for a person with an eating disorder to eat healthy. That's the same as saying it's no harder for a depressed person to get out of bed in the morning, or it's no harder for a person with dyslexia to learn to read, or its no harder for a person with social anxiety disorder to speak publically, or a person with no legs to learn how to walk. It's completely ignorant and arrogant. It is *not* the same for all of us. Arrogance doesn't make you right.
I'm confused. Your original comment calling people smug and condescending mentioned nothing about an eating disorder. The OP mentioned nothing about eating disorders either. You said that some people had a harder time resisting temptation while some seem to find it easier. No mention of eating disorders and specific challenges individuals with ED may be dealing with as they struggle to develop healthy habits.
Moving the goalposts to now imply that we aren't being respectful of those battling eating disorders and implying that we are disrespectful of other mental and physical challenges is particularly offensive...
My original point stands. It is indeed harder for some of us than others. It is indeed smug and condescending to demand official "special group" credentials, documentation that confirms a person suffers from a disability before you'll agree to simply be curteous or considerate enough to think first before shoving a donut in their face instead of just being respectful of a simple request and honoring a person's wishes when it creates no hardship for you whatsoever.
It's harder for some of us. That's true regardless of whether a person has actually been diagnosed with a disorder. I'm a binge eater. I crash diet and lose 20 or 40 pounds and binge eat and gain it back. It will always be a struggle to move away from those tendencies. For the sake of comparison I'll mention that I also have ADHD and sensory integration issues (think autism). My entire life I have been force fed BS about how I'm no different from everyone else and everything I do should be just as easy for me as it is for everyone else, and I didn't even know I was legitimately *different* until my 30s. It took seeing a therapist to realize you guys are just acting like jerks with no respect for other people's personal boundaries.
People shouldn't have to produce proof of a disability to be afforded respect and consideration.0 -
Furthermore, its demeaning and patronizing to deny a person respect and consideration because you *assume* they are no different from you, and making them tell the world "I have a disability" just so you'll consider their feelings, and then offering up your pity as if that's the same thing as empathy or respect for our feelings.0
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That's not inclusive. That's not having respect for anyone with any disability. That's calling people out as different and covertly shaming us. We shouldn't have to qualify as "disabled" for our feelings to matter.0
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wandajnevills wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »wandajnevills wrote: »wandajnevills wrote: »Confidence and accountability are great, but some of these comments are just plain smug and condescending. By sabotage we are generally thinking of those people who *know* that we really struggle with eating healthy and resisting temptation (yes, some of us genuinely struggle with it in serious way) but they constantly go out of their way to temp us with "oh just try it, just one bite, look at it, smell it, it smells amazing, its so delicious, I made it myself you have to try it," etc. For some of us it takes an incredibly huge effort to resist in the first place, where with others it just doesn't take that much effort.
You seem to assume these people you're taking aim at haven't had these problems before and haven't had to learn how to build up willpower. I'd say everyone here who has successfully lost weight has had the same struggle, but you make it sound like you're part of special group of people who have had to struggle whilst everyone else has had an easy time - now that's condescending.
You're completely wrong. You're saying it's no harder for a person with an eating disorder to eat healthy. That's the same as saying it's no harder for a depressed person to get out of bed in the morning, or it's no harder for a person with dyslexia to learn to read, or its no harder for a person with social anxiety disorder to speak publically, or a person with no legs to learn how to walk. It's completely ignorant and arrogant. It is *not* the same for all of us. Arrogance doesn't make you right.
I'm confused. Your original comment calling people smug and condescending mentioned nothing about an eating disorder. The OP mentioned nothing about eating disorders either. You said that some people had a harder time resisting temptation while some seem to find it easier. No mention of eating disorders and specific challenges individuals with ED may be dealing with as they struggle to develop healthy habits.
Moving the goalposts to now imply that we aren't being respectful of those battling eating disorders and implying that we are disrespectful of other mental and physical challenges is particularly offensive...
My original point stands. It is indeed harder for some of us than others. It is indeed smug and condescending to demand official "special group" credentials, documentation that confirms a person suffers from a disability before you'll agree to simply be curteous or considerate enough to think first before shoving a donut in their face instead of just being respectful of a simple request and honoring a person's wishes when it creates no hardship for you whatsoever.
It's harder for some of us. That's true regardless of whether a person has actually been diagnosed with a disorder. I'm a binge eater. I crash diet and lose 20 or 40 pounds and binge eat and gain it back. It will always be a struggle to move away from those tendencies. For the sake of comparison I'll mention that I also have ADHD and sensory integration issues (think autism). My entire life I have been force fed BS about how I'm no different from everyone else and everything I do should be just as easy for me as it is for everyone else, and I didn't even know I was legitimately *different* until my 30s. It took seeing a therapist to realize you guys are just acting like jerks with no respect for other people's personal boundaries.
People shouldn't have to produce proof of a disability to be afforded respect and consideration.
Wow this has escalated quickly. I'm not sure where the hostility is coming from but it seems completely misdirected in this thread. The most disrespectful and inconsiderate posts in the thread are the ones where you called posters smug, condescending and arrogant.
People posting about their own experiences and saying they use willpower is not disrespectful of anyone, eating disorders or otherwise.
No one is asking for people to label themselves I'm not sure who is shoving donuts in your face, but you should have this conversation with them about your situation.
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Luckily, no one. This has not always been true though.1
This discussion has been closed.
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