28; never been on a date or had a boyfriend because of weight

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I'm 28 and have never been on a date or had a boyfriend because of my weight. I always remained optimistic that someday a man would accept me for who I am, but that hasn't happened and if I want to have children, I can't wait too much longer. So here I am...my goal is to not gain weight or even to lose weight, maybe 10 lb for now.
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Replies

  • GobletofFlames
    GobletofFlames Posts: 113 Member
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    Thanks for the tips :) For me I don't know if it's confidence, since people say I come off as happy and confident when they meet me~ I'm glad for you Thio and Sheri thank you I will message you.
  • Chinatot054
    Chinatot054 Posts: 12 Member
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    Take your time and love and pamper yourself first, and before you know it, when you are not expecting it, the right guy will come along.
  • GobletofFlames
    GobletofFlames Posts: 113 Member
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    Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I am going to the gym today to walk on the treadmill to try to lose some weight~
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
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    I think a large part of this is that you have to want to do it for you. Yes, it's nice to have guys interested in you but that will only motivate you so much, so I think it's better to have the motivation come from within. Set goals based on health and fitness (ie, eat the recommended amount of fruits/vegetables, exercise 15 minutes a day for ___ days, etc) instead of focusing on what you don't like about yourself.

    Another thing I like to suggest is to take it slow. The weight isn't just going to come off instantly, you'll have to be in this long-term. I know a lot of people don't like hearing that, but I've used it as a good way to find myself especially when everything else in my life became *kitten*. But anything worth doing will take time, just trust that it is worth the time and effort you will put into it!

    Best of luck and feel free to add me if you want! I can be pretty supportive during the summer but idk how I'll be friend-wise later in the year when I start grad school. But I can at least impart some of the things I've learned during a short period of time if you want!
  • mallygirl420
    mallygirl420 Posts: 66 Member
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    Setting small achievable goals are good! I'd start with 5 lbs at a time. Also, get yourself on some dating sites. Start doing coed group fitness classes. You have to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable. It's scary, but what's the harm in trying? So someone says, "No." Big whoop - that's one person.

    I'll piggyback on what others have said - this shouldn't be a weight loss journey, it should be a journey toward self love and maybe a little introspection about how you want to improve yourself (not how you think others want you to improve).
  • magicpickles
    magicpickles Posts: 286 Member
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    I'm the same, but I think I'm picky... There have certainly been opportunities. Either your standards are too high or you want to be the best version of yourself so you can find the best possible partner.
  • GobletofFlames
    GobletofFlames Posts: 113 Member
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    I walked for 2 hours just now~ A few weeks ago I asked out the cashier at the grocery store and he rejected me, citing my weight as the reason, so now I'm too embarrassed to go back. It's strange because he was always very polite, which is why I was interested in him, so it took me aback when he called me a pig. I have never been asked out and have asked out and been rejected by over 50 guys in real life and over 50 guys online.
  • PeachesNcreamgal
    PeachesNcreamgal Posts: 357 Member
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    What a two faced loser that cashier is! Maybe you should report him for calling you a pig. Btw, my story is the same as yours. I am also 28 and never been with a man because I have mental health problems for which I'm seeking treatment, both psychiatric and homeopathic. I am happy with myself and also I come from culture of arranged marriage and *kitten* so I'm hoping I'll meet a nice guy by 30 :) and I hope you do too coz you're still young and you need to concentrate on working on yourself! Good luck
  • BoomstickChik
    BoomstickChik Posts: 149 Member
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    You'll find someone. You should lose weight for YOU. No one else.


    Throughout my relationship with my husband, span of 15 years including when we were just friends, I've ranged from 145-234. And I'm very short.

    I developed a lot of health issues that caused the gains.

    A relationship shouldn't be based on how you look or your weight. A real guy, one who likes/loves you for you will love you no matter what!

    I also sent a friend request :)
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    I'm NOT saying that something is wrong with you. Being shy, for example, is not a failing. However, obese people find partners. Being overweight is not what is stopping you from having a relationship.
  • 12Sarah2015
    12Sarah2015 Posts: 1,117 Member
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    To be honest my husband would not have married me if I wasn't thin. I got married at 33.