28; never been on a date or had a boyfriend because of weight

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Hearts_2015

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JeromeBarry1

I have a cousin who met a cute boy in a parking lot at her first day of college. He had driven 700 miles to get there, and the thing on his mind was food. He expressed his hunger. She took him to her room and fed him spaghetti. Four years later they graduated, married, started having babies and moved back to his daddy's ranch so he could manage a 40,000 acre fragment of it. When he turned 30 his daddy introduced him to his inheritance.

You never know how it will turn out if you can cook.

zkjmum

You're so thin you almost look anorexic. Seriously, guys are NOT saying no because you're fat...because you're not. To even think that is ridiculous.

caroldavison332

Cashiers are PAID to be friendly and smile. They have their preferences about who they want to date, including not ovefat women. Did he literally call you a pig, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Your emotionall unintelligence in calling him a hypocrite, accusing him of calling you a pig, are reasons not to date you. I've been pretty fat myself. Men were always interested.

GobletofFlames

caroldavison332 wrote: »

Cashiers are PAID to be friendly and smile. They have their preferences about who they want to date, including not ovefat women. Did he literally call you a pig, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Your emotionall unintelligence in calling him a hypocrite, accusing him of calling you a pig, are reasons not to date you. I've been pretty fat myself. Men were always interested.

Yes, he called me a pig as an insult. I don't think he is a hypocrite though as I don't know him well enough to know what his principles are other than he seemed like a friendly and polite guy before he called me a pig. That's great that men are interested in you

AngelinaB_

X_Sooner wrote: »

Couple of things. Love is blind. That simple truth has stood the test of time because it's true. That fact won't change because of your weight but here's what might...the image we project when we aren't taking care of ourselves. READ: we don't care about ourself. So if I don't take care of me, how will I help you and be a great partner to you???

Most people have heard the saying "The only easy day was yesterday". It's the mantra of Navy SEALs...it's engraved on the top of the arch leading into the "grinder" (quarterdeck) where calisthenics are done every morning. It's a great saying. However, you don't hear much about the saying that's on the other side of the arch...and it's the one that truly applies to all of us that wish to change ourselves, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

"You don't have to love it, you just have to do it"

You walked tonight. That means you've agreed to take ownership. Don't stop, don't ever quit now. Die before you quit. You started. Never. Ever. Quit. You walk a little or you can walk a lot but don't you quit. Each day of DOING is a victory...your victory. Just. Do. It.

For you. Your body needs it for your mind and your mind needs it for your emotional health.

Everything will fall into place when you take care of you...

Awesome post @X_Sooner

AngelinaB_

GobletofFlames wrote: »

rchlthompson wrote: »

Are you trolling? In another post you say you weigh between 77-90 pounds. You are way too thin and nobody would call you a pig.

Of course I'm not trolling. Maybe he meant pig as an insult, not as a reflection of my weight, or maybe he wanted me to weigh less. I'm really down today. I want a boyfriend to talk to about my day and to call me sweetheart. Is that too much to ask? I feel left out of society because other women much younger than me are married with kids and I was never given that choice. I bottle it in a lot but right now I'm angry and resentful towards life and men for not giving me a chance. They don't even know me so how can they reject me without getting to know me first? If they went on a date with me and found out I had an awful personality, OK fine, but they don't even give me a chance.

You have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, out of the 100 idiots you will meet, you will find your precious diamond. But you have to believe in yourself and remember, allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Change your attitude for a day, and relax don't take it to seriously. Guys are not to take that seriously anyway, just enjoy going out. When you meet somebody special you can take him seriously and care, not before.

I think you look very cute! Btw

AngelinaB_

MarkusDarwath wrote: »

It has everything to do with a thick skin and not letting other people's opinions define your self-image, nor down yourself over realities that are basically neutral. Embracing a "negative" term is a way to say, "that crap don't matter!"

Ok. I understand your point. But the term "fattie" itself is a diminutive of "fat", gramatically speaking. So using the term will be seen diminishing by most per definition. Not because they are hypersensitive but because that's the context of that word itself.

SLLRunner

GobletofFlames wrote: »

caroldavison332 wrote: »

Cashiers are PAID to be friendly and smile. They have their preferences about who they want to date, including not ovefat women. Did he literally call you a pig, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Your emotionall unintelligence in calling him a hypocrite, accusing him of calling you a pig, are reasons not to date you. I've been pretty fat myself. Men were always interested.

Yes, he called me a pig as an insult. I don't think he is a hypocrite though as I don't know him well enough to know what his principles are other than he seemed like a friendly and polite guy before he called me a pig. That's great that men are interested in you

This thing about the guy calling you a pig: we don't know the whole story. But, according to what you wrote, this friendly dude just changed at some point and called you a pig.

What interactions took place leading up to this?

Think about it; pig can mean mean many things, such as someone who is not very nice to other people. It can also mean someone who behaves in a slovenly manner, or someone who has no manners. It doesn't always mean fat.

From seeing your photographs, and your perceptions of yourself, it seems to me you would benefit from therapy.

GobletofFlames

AngelinaB_ wrote: »

GobletofFlames wrote: »

rchlthompson wrote: »

Are you trolling? In another post you say you weigh between 77-90 pounds. You are way too thin and nobody would call you a pig.

Of course I'm not trolling. Maybe he meant pig as an insult, not as a reflection of my weight, or maybe he wanted me to weigh less. I'm really down today. I want a boyfriend to talk to about my day and to call me sweetheart. Is that too much to ask? I feel left out of society because other women much younger than me are married with kids and I was never given that choice. I bottle it in a lot but right now I'm angry and resentful towards life and men for not giving me a chance. They don't even know me so how can they reject me without getting to know me first? If they went on a date with me and found out I had an awful personality, OK fine, but they don't even give me a chance.

You have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, out of the 100 idiots you will meet, you will find your precious diamond. But you have to believe in yourself and remember, allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Change your attitude for a day, and relax don't take it to seriously. Guys are not to take that seriously anyway, just enjoy going out. When you meet somebody special you can take him seriously and care, not before.

I think you look very cute! Btw

Thank you Angelina, that's very kind of you. Today I was feeling OK but then I ended up feeling like nothing in life gives me any pleasure. I do try hard to tell myself I can be happy without a man but life feels empty and meaningless. It's an ongoing battle where I try hard to think positively but my natural feeling is unhappy. I hope you are having a great weekend.

GobletofFlames

SLLRunner wrote: »

GobletofFlames wrote: »

caroldavison332 wrote: »

Cashiers are PAID to be friendly and smile. They have their preferences about who they want to date, including not ovefat women. Did he literally call you a pig, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Your emotionall unintelligence in calling him a hypocrite, accusing him of calling you a pig, are reasons not to date you. I've been pretty fat myself. Men were always interested.

Yes, he called me a pig as an insult. I don't think he is a hypocrite though as I don't know him well enough to know what his principles are other than he seemed like a friendly and polite guy before he called me a pig. That's great that men are interested in you

This thing about the guy calling you a pig: we don't know the whole story. But, according to what you wrote, this friendly dude just changed at some point and called you a pig.

What interactions took place leading up to this?

Think about it; pig can mean mean many things, such as someone who is not very nice to other people. It can also mean someone who behaves in a slovenly manner, or someone who has no manners. It doesn't always mean fat.

From seeing your photographs, and your perceptions of yourself, it seems to me you would benefit from therapy.

Yes, you're right, I think it's fairly unlikely that the cashier meant I was a pig in terms of weight if I think about it logically. Because although I have gained weight, I am still under 100 lb and it's not often that I see someone as thin as me.

The interactions that took place were that I used to buy a drink every morning from the store and the cashier would ring me up. After about a month of this, I felt that he was very friendly and probably a nice guy, so I asked him if he was interested in having a coffee with me sometime and that's when he said I was a pig. Now I do not dare to go back into that store.

TavistockToad

GobletofFlames wrote: »

I'm 28 and have never been on a date or had a boyfriend because of my weight. I always remained optimistic that someday a man would accept me for who I am, but that hasn't happened and if I want to have children, I can't wait too much longer. So here I am...my goal is to not gain weight or even to lose weight, maybe 10 lb for now.

I thought you were single because people didn't accept you, not your weight? You never mentioned your weight in the other thread?

SLLRunner

GobletofFlames wrote: »

SLLRunner wrote: »

GobletofFlames wrote: »

caroldavison332 wrote: »

Cashiers are PAID to be friendly and smile. They have their preferences about who they want to date, including not ovefat women. Did he literally call you a pig, or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Your emotionall unintelligence in calling him a hypocrite, accusing him of calling you a pig, are reasons not to date you. I've been pretty fat myself. Men were always interested.

Yes, he called me a pig as an insult. I don't think he is a hypocrite though as I don't know him well enough to know what his principles are other than he seemed like a friendly and polite guy before he called me a pig. That's great that men are interested in you

This thing about the guy calling you a pig: we don't know the whole story. But, according to what you wrote, this friendly dude just changed at some point and called you a pig.

What interactions took place leading up to this?

Think about it; pig can mean mean many things, such as someone who is not very nice to other people. It can also mean someone who behaves in a slovenly manner, or someone who has no manners. It doesn't always mean fat.

From seeing your photographs, and your perceptions of yourself, it seems to me you would benefit from therapy.

Yes, you're right, I think it's fairly unlikely that the cashier meant I was a pig in terms of weight if I think about it logically. Because although I have gained weight, I am still under 100 lb and it's not often that I see someone as thin as me.

The interactions that took place were that I used to buy a drink every morning from the store and the cashier would ring me up. After about a month of this, I felt that he was very friendly and probably a nice guy, so I asked him if he was interested in having a coffee with me sometime and that's when he said I was a pig. Now I do not dare to go back into that store.

Well, if that's how things came down, good thing you never went out with him, since he goes around calling people pigs for asking him to coffee. Someone like that is not worth even having a conversation with, much less coffee. Why are you even wasting emotional and spiritual energy on this?

Also, the more I read your postings, the more I am convinced you have a full blown eating disorder. You have started a conversation about being fat, yet it's evident here that you know you are too thin. It's time to get help. It really is because it's the only way you will learn how to deal with your issues and learn to love yourself for who you are. When self esteem is as low as yours, you project that out to other people and it scares them away.

AngelinaB_

I agree with the above posters sweets, you need to find professional help not random people on the internet. You have a negative and distorted vision of yourself and blame yourself for other people being total *kitten*. Plus looks you might have a little depression. All those things need to be taken care from a professional and are important health concerns.

Good for you, you don't buy coffee in that store anymore. It's not worth it of your business. That person is not only a pig himself but in my opinion is very abusive to talk to other that way and shouldn't be working taking care of costumers.

OlyCapitalChick

@GobletofFlames you sound transgender to me for some reason? If that photo really of you? ..You are not overweight.
The OP have good points.

nutmegoreo

OlyCapitalChick wrote: »

@GobletofFlames you sound transgender to me for some reason? If that photo really of you? ..You are not overweight.
The OP have good points.

How does someone sound transgender on a message board? Just curious as to what gave this idea.

OlyCapitalChick

nutmegoreo wrote: »

OlyCapitalChick wrote: »

@GobletofFlames you sound transgender to me for some reason? If that photo really of you? ..You are not overweight.
The OP have good points.

How does someone sound transgender on a message board? Just curious as to what gave this idea.

threads that aren't here.
Not sure. Could be something else.

cerise_noir

GobletofFlames wrote: »

A lot of these posts are confusing. Anyways, I do not PERSONALLY think I am fat, but I think guys think I'm fat, that's the only explanation I can think of as to why guys don't like me~

Um. No. No one in their right mind would think that you are fat. You're fat, far, far from fat. You're very very thin, and you are pretty. Stop it. I think that is all in your head. No one called you fat.

The faster you stop giving a crap about what others think, the better you'll feel.

Give YOURSELF a break. Stop torturing yourself. Be free. Don't worry about weight or anything like that. Concentrate on loving YOU and those close to you.