Would you charge your parents rent?

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  • WilmaDennis91
    WilmaDennis91 Posts: 433 Member
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    I can't do that. Families are supposed to care for each other, I'm not gonna treat my mom like a person off the street renting a room. And plus I never had to pay rent when I live at home cuz all the money is going toward my college tuition.
  • bettacheckyoself
    bettacheckyoself Posts: 570
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    Sub the you and your for they and their, my answer still applies.

    No. Because I want people to treat this as if they were the person I am talking about.

    Well if I was the person you are referring to, I would go to the Home Depot and buy some rope to hang myself with, because I'm a selfish, entitled piece of crap that would throw their mother under the bus for an iThing. better?

    Based on your response, you still believe that this is me, which is very narrow minded of you. Did it ever occur to you that I could possibly be a sibling to this person, and that I have just recently had my father past away?

    This response is unnecessary and it doesn't even answer the question.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    ******************************************** MORE DETAILS ***************************************************

    - You use to rent out that basement before she occupied it (but the money was just extra spending money)
    - You grew up poor, but your mom did the best she could (was a housewife)
    - You contributed money ever since you turned the working age (either all of pay or minimum $200 per month)
    - You brought in the most money out of all of the family members (father couldn't find work)
    - You were never really close to your mom but there was never any real conflict



    Would these factors change anything?

    ******************************************************************************************************************

    Nope, doesn't change it for me. But you are not me. What does the spouse in this situation say?
  • nygrl4evr
    nygrl4evr Posts: 196 Member
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    My father-in-law recently passed away and we offered to have my mother-in-law move in with us. We are in no way well off but we still would not take money from her for rent. If she wanted to help with groceries we might let her so that she could feel like she was contributing but we would never expect or ask it of her.

    Being a mother of a college student I know how much our parents did for us, how much they gave up so we could have. Now is the time to show her how much it is appreciated and take care of her. No charge.
  • niftyafterfifty
    niftyafterfifty Posts: 338 Member
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    No; she has very little to live on, and it seems that the child doesn't need the money. I really don't think it matters if she ever charged the child rent if he/she ever lived at home as an adult . That's a way you teach your children responsibility when they become young adults. This is a different situation.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    I'm sure I'll get a lot of criticism for this, but my mother wouldn't be moving in with me in the first place. If the presence of an additional family member puts an emotional strain on the rest of the family, creates tension, and minimizes quality of life for the other family members...it's not going to happen. I'm not willing to put my family through years of unhappiness for someone who turned her back on me when I needed her the most.

    I agree with you.

    I know that my mother would not be moving in with me but not everyone feels that way either.
  • SadKitty27
    SadKitty27 Posts: 416 Member
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    My parents charged me rent when I was 16...So if they were doing well and what not, I'd charge them a small amount just to help out w. food and stuff if they were financially able.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    With that low of an income, no I don't think I would. I would expect that she would pay for her own food, if different from the family, and her own personal items, clothing, vehicle expenses. I would also expect that she help around the house and with child care.

    and no the new factors would not change anything for me. My mother and I were never close, but no direct conflict. At this time I am her primary caregiver (she is 85), I pay her bills (her money), make her appointments, drive her everywhere, clean her apt, manage her medications. So I do everything now for her except allow her to live with us. That just would not work. My mother is very needy and needs to be the center of all attention. She is much happier at a senior apt complex with organized activities, then she ever would be with us. Frankly I don't think I could hold up under the strain of her living with me. I do love her, but I need to have a life of my own, and with her personality I don't think that would be possible if she lived with me.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Oh and to respond to the new info from the OP:

    No. My answer still wouldn't change. I am assuming again, that she is doing some baby sitting and maybe contributing in other ways like some money towards groceries or the like. She is on a very fixed income and my guess is she won't be living there forever so any little bit of money that she can stash away would be beneficial.

    Plus the money that was coming in from the rent was used as additional spending money so I am guessing that the absence of it isn't going to break the family.

    My mother never charged either my sister or myself for rent so I would have a hard time justifying charging her.
  • aNewYear123
    aNewYear123 Posts: 279 Member
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    You said that your Mom did the best she could for you growing up. Although you contributed financially when younger that was the family as a unit trying to get by, not your parents doing well and charging you rent.

    If I could afford it she would live rent free. Hopefully sometimes she would buy things for the house (go grocery shopping etc) and babysit, but those wouldn't be mandatory conditions. If it is a completely separate apartment then I would expect her to be buying her own food, cleaning, household supplies etc. for her apartment. If that is the case then just hopefully the babysitting.

    If she doesn't live in that apartment does she have enough money to live somewhere decent on her own or will you (and any siblings) need to supplement her income. I would not allow my parents to live in a bad way if I could afford to help. (all families are different and I am fortunate to have one where this is true)

    The main question is whether your wife is okay with this. I wouldn't let it drive a wedge between the two of you.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    Short story: My mother in law came to live with us (me, really, my husband is military and not presently home) after her own daughter stole her identity and charged almost 50 grand to her name and basically reduced my MIL to nothing. My MIL is also not well healthwise and has a hard time getting around; rheumatoid arthritis, lung disease, depression, but a lot of her issues are in her head. She is one of those people that likes to be sick for the attention. My house has a first floor bedroom (mine) and we gave it to her, leaving me to sleep in the basement of my own house. We felt we were doing right by her and wanted her to feel comfortable. We did not ask for rent and did not plan on it, but she also didn't help me with my kids (other than to criticize my parenting) or help me keep my house in order. If fact, she was like having another kid. She has since left (got sick, went to hospital, then to her sister's house by her own choice because I live too far away from the rest of the family) and that mess will not be happening again.
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
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    Absolutely not. I lived with my parents rent free, utilities and meals provided for 27 years. I'm not about to ask them for rent. Even though I still have a mortgage to pay off, if I needed rent money to pay the mortgage, I probably shouldn't have bought that house in the first place.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    Short story: My mother in law came to live with us (me, really, my husband is military and not presently home) after her own daughter stole her identity and charged almost 50 grand to her name and basically reduced my MIL to nothing. My MIL is also not well healthwise and has a hard time getting around; rheumatoid arthritis, lung disease, depression, but a lot of her issues are in her head. She is one of those people that likes to be sick for the attention. My house has a first floor bedroom (mine) and we gave it to her, leaving me to sleep in the basement of my own house. We felt we were doing right by her and wanted her to feel comfortable. We did not ask for rent and did not plan on it, but she also didn't help me with my kids (other than to criticize my parenting) or help me keep my house in order. If fact, she was like having another kid. She has since left (got sick, went to hospital, then to her sister's house by her own choice because I live too far away from the rest of the family) and that mess will not be happening again.

    the key is you tried though. if you try and it goes to the ****ter then do what you got to.


    i know i lived with my mother till 30. it was just easier for me to help out with the rent/bills for her. it was also sort of a mexican stand off though as her boyfriend was waiting for me and my brother to move out to marry her and we waited till he asked her to marry him to move out.

    i bought all my own groceries, and chipped in about 3-400 a month for rent and bills etc..
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    No way!

    Reason: it's my mum!!!!
  • Jlopez201
    Jlopez201 Posts: 61
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    NOT at all. Its my mother! Also there are other ways to show your love and appreciation. For example: Watching the kids on date night, helping you cook, do the dishes etc.

    If I didn't need it then why bother ? My mom sacrificed a lot raising my siblings and I.. and I don't think any amount of money could ever replace the unconditional love and support she showed me growing up.
  • Saucy_lil_Minx
    Saucy_lil_Minx Posts: 3,302 Member
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    HELL NO! These are the parents who raised you, and spent a ton of money on you growing up! They bailed you out of most financial mistakes in your twenties. Now it is your turn to care for them in their golden years.
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
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    Nope. My mom never charged me rent when I lived in her house, even though I was working some of the time I lived there. Plus, I'm 25, and she's still paying my car insurance and cell phone. It would just be evil if I tried to charge her rent.
  • _bumshaker_
    _bumshaker_ Posts: 40
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    :noway: Did you really just ask that?
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
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    When I moved back in with my mom when I was 20, I paid her rent, footed most of the grocery bill, cleaned the house, did her laundry, cleaned out her garage, cooked, rarely asked her to kid-sit (maybe once a week after they were asleep), etc.

    That being said, yes, I would charge her rent. She lives there, and it wasn't my choice to bring her in to this world therefore it is not my responsibility to foot her bills completely.

    I would charge her half of what the pension is and nothing else, unless she wanted something special in the way of food (we're a chicken family, beef and pork are extra). That is a good ratio when all things are considered. Especially since that area can be rented out to someone else who would pay their portion of utilities and buy their own food.

    ETA: my mom hasn't paid any of my bills since I got married when I was 18. If she gave me any money after that, it was because she wanted to and never because I asked. Likewise, I hope to be as blessed with my own kids - and I would pay them rent if the tables were turned and I had to live with one of them... If they didn't accept my check, I'd out it in a high-interest account every month and let them enjoy it when I pass.
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
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    Sub the you and your for they and their, my answer still applies.

    No. Because I want people to treat this as if they were the person I am talking about.

    Well if I was the person you are referring to, I would go to the Home Depot and buy some rope to hang myself with, because I'm a selfish, entitled piece of crap that would throw their mother under the bus for an iThing. better?

    Based on your response, you still believe that this is me, which is very narrow minded of you. Did it ever occur to you that I could possibly be a sibling to this person, and that I have just recently had my father past away?

    This response is unnecessary and it doesn't even answer the question.

    Actually, it does answer the question and I don't know WHAT about my response would indicate that I didn't believe you after you had explained. You don't seem to like the answer. If I was your sister, that's what I would do.

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