Would you charge your parents rent?
Replies
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Short story: My mother in law came to live with us (me, really, my husband is military and not presently home) after her own daughter stole her identity and charged almost 50 grand to her name and basically reduced my MIL to nothing. My MIL is also not well healthwise and has a hard time getting around; rheumatoid arthritis, lung disease, depression, but a lot of her issues are in her head. She is one of those people that likes to be sick for the attention. My house has a first floor bedroom (mine) and we gave it to her, leaving me to sleep in the basement of my own house. We felt we were doing right by her and wanted her to feel comfortable. We did not ask for rent and did not plan on it, but she also didn't help me with my kids (other than to criticize my parenting) or help me keep my house in order. If fact, she was like having another kid. She has since left (got sick, went to hospital, then to her sister's house by her own choice because I live too far away from the rest of the family) and that mess will not be happening again.0
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Absolutely not. I lived with my parents rent free, utilities and meals provided for 27 years. I'm not about to ask them for rent. Even though I still have a mortgage to pay off, if I needed rent money to pay the mortgage, I probably shouldn't have bought that house in the first place.0
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Short story: My mother in law came to live with us (me, really, my husband is military and not presently home) after her own daughter stole her identity and charged almost 50 grand to her name and basically reduced my MIL to nothing. My MIL is also not well healthwise and has a hard time getting around; rheumatoid arthritis, lung disease, depression, but a lot of her issues are in her head. She is one of those people that likes to be sick for the attention. My house has a first floor bedroom (mine) and we gave it to her, leaving me to sleep in the basement of my own house. We felt we were doing right by her and wanted her to feel comfortable. We did not ask for rent and did not plan on it, but she also didn't help me with my kids (other than to criticize my parenting) or help me keep my house in order. If fact, she was like having another kid. She has since left (got sick, went to hospital, then to her sister's house by her own choice because I live too far away from the rest of the family) and that mess will not be happening again.
the key is you tried though. if you try and it goes to the ****ter then do what you got to.
i know i lived with my mother till 30. it was just easier for me to help out with the rent/bills for her. it was also sort of a mexican stand off though as her boyfriend was waiting for me and my brother to move out to marry her and we waited till he asked her to marry him to move out.
i bought all my own groceries, and chipped in about 3-400 a month for rent and bills etc..0 -
No way!
Reason: it's my mum!!!!0 -
NOT at all. Its my mother! Also there are other ways to show your love and appreciation. For example: Watching the kids on date night, helping you cook, do the dishes etc.
If I didn't need it then why bother ? My mom sacrificed a lot raising my siblings and I.. and I don't think any amount of money could ever replace the unconditional love and support she showed me growing up.0 -
HELL NO! These are the parents who raised you, and spent a ton of money on you growing up! They bailed you out of most financial mistakes in your twenties. Now it is your turn to care for them in their golden years.0
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Nope. My mom never charged me rent when I lived in her house, even though I was working some of the time I lived there. Plus, I'm 25, and she's still paying my car insurance and cell phone. It would just be evil if I tried to charge her rent.0
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:noway: Did you really just ask that?0
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When I moved back in with my mom when I was 20, I paid her rent, footed most of the grocery bill, cleaned the house, did her laundry, cleaned out her garage, cooked, rarely asked her to kid-sit (maybe once a week after they were asleep), etc.
That being said, yes, I would charge her rent. She lives there, and it wasn't my choice to bring her in to this world therefore it is not my responsibility to foot her bills completely.
I would charge her half of what the pension is and nothing else, unless she wanted something special in the way of food (we're a chicken family, beef and pork are extra). That is a good ratio when all things are considered. Especially since that area can be rented out to someone else who would pay their portion of utilities and buy their own food.
ETA: my mom hasn't paid any of my bills since I got married when I was 18. If she gave me any money after that, it was because she wanted to and never because I asked. Likewise, I hope to be as blessed with my own kids - and I would pay them rent if the tables were turned and I had to live with one of them... If they didn't accept my check, I'd out it in a high-interest account every month and let them enjoy it when I pass.0 -
Sub the you and your for they and their, my answer still applies.
No. Because I want people to treat this as if they were the person I am talking about.
Well if I was the person you are referring to, I would go to the Home Depot and buy some rope to hang myself with, because I'm a selfish, entitled piece of crap that would throw their mother under the bus for an iThing. better?
Based on your response, you still believe that this is me, which is very narrow minded of you. Did it ever occur to you that I could possibly be a sibling to this person, and that I have just recently had my father past away?
This response is unnecessary and it doesn't even answer the question.
Actually, it does answer the question and I don't know WHAT about my response would indicate that I didn't believe you after you had explained. You don't seem to like the answer. If I was your sister, that's what I would do.0 -
When I moved back in with my mom when I was 20, I paid her rent, footed most of the grocery bill, cleaned the house, did her laundry, cleaned out her garage, cooked, rarely asked her to kid-sit (maybe once a week after they were asleep), etc.
That being said, yes, I would charge her rent.
If you could afford to pay all the rent and buy groceries, why were you living with her to begin with? Weird.0 -
No way - I lived in their house 22 years rent-free! Plus I'm sure she'd help with the kids, so bonus. My parents paid for so much and have done so much for me. My mom never had nice things because she was always taking care of us. I'm sure I'd have a hard time adjusting to having a parent in the house, but could never charge money.0
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Situation (not my own situation):
You are doing well financially (mortgage paid off, you and your spouse have high paying/stable jobs etc.). You have 4 children that are all under the age of 10. You let your mom live in your finished basement after your dad passes away. Her only income is from the government (pension/benefits) which is around $800-1200 per month.
Would you charge her RENT?
IF ...
Yes - Then how much would you charge her ?
No - Tell us why, is it wrong ?
BE HONEST ....
tnxs.
I would not charge my mom rent. In fact she let me move back in with her because I'm having some trouble and she's not charging me rent.
But my mom and I have an amiable relationship so that counts.
I'm sure it depends on the situation. I know several people who have parents who are scammers, drug addicts or moochers. I'n a situation like that I might do things differently. I'm sure it depends on the people involved.0 -
As long as she wasn't blowing all her money on booze, drugs, lottery tickets, strip clubs, etc. (soooo NOT my Mom :laugh: ), I wouldn't charge her in those circumstances. I would ask her to contribute sweat equity via babysitting or some other manner. Knowing her, she would insist on paying rent, albeit a token amount. In that case, I would just plop it into an account to be used for her benefit anyway.No way.
BUT I would take full advantage of the built-in baby-sitting availability.
Oh hell yeah!! :glasses:
Background:
I went to college at 17, but was contributing significantly to groceries and utilities from the age of 15. I dropped out and moved back home at age 20 and paid slightly less than half of all household expenses while working full-time and going to school part-time. After some passive-agressive conflict (e.g. her locking me out when I stayed out until 5am), I moved out into an apartment (no roommate) a few months later. So I only lived "rent-free" until age 15. My mom's 80 now and lives solo at that same house as when I moved out. I couldn't imagine her moving in with me because she's very independent and it would probably emotionally kill her.0 -
No way. I happily paid rent to my folks, and if either of them ever needed to live with me, it would be for free. They deserve that much. I would never dream of charging rent, regardless my situation.
If your mom wants to pay or help someway, then that's where you discuss it. But no to rent.0 -
^^^
I would never charge either of my parents rent.
If I was having difficulties paying for utilities and stuff like that and they wanted to contribute while living with me, sure they could, but I would not charge. They scarified too much for me to do that.0 -
When I moved back in with my mom when I was 20, I paid her rent, footed most of the grocery bill, cleaned the house, did her laundry, cleaned out her garage, cooked, rarely asked her to kid-sit (maybe once a week after they were asleep), etc.
That being said, yes, I would charge her rent.
If you could afford to pay all the rent and buy groceries, why were you living with her to begin with? Weird.
i think you misread that (no fault of your own, its how its written)
i think he meant he paid RENT not paid HER rent0 -
I don't understand WHY anyone who was financially well off would charge their parents rent.0
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if you know nothing about the mother or the poster, you may be way off base. some mothers are terrible people and them squeezing out a kid or two doesn't change that.
You aren't a cold heartless *kitten* because you charge your mother rent.Yes, I would.
I don't consider myself a cold, heartless *kitten* because of it.
You charge your mother rent because you are a cold heartless *kitten*.
She could've swallowed you, or used a hanger or stairs. But as "terrible" of a person as she was, she managed to do a decent job for roughly 7 to 9 months.0 -
if you know nothing about the mother or the poster, you may be way off base. some mothers are terrible people and them squeezing out a kid or two doesn't change that.
You aren't a cold heartless *kitten* because you charge your mother rent.Yes, I would.
I don't consider myself a cold, heartless *kitten* because of it.
You charge your mother rent because you are a cold heartless *kitten*.
She could've swallowed you, or used a hanger or stairs. But as "terrible" of a person as she was, she managed to do a decent job for roughly 7 to 9 months.
In the scenario described you grow up to become a decently successful person with a family that own your own house. I think it is reasonable to conclude that the mother is not that terrible of a person.0 -
if you know nothing about the mother or the poster, you may be way off base. some mothers are terrible people and them squeezing out a kid or two doesn't change that.
You aren't a cold heartless *kitten* because you charge your mother rent.Yes, I would.
I don't consider myself a cold, heartless *kitten* because of it.
You charge your mother rent because you are a cold heartless *kitten*.
She could've swallowed you, or used a hanger or stairs. But as "terrible" of a person as she was, she managed to do a decent job for roughly 7 to 9 months.
In the scenario described you grow up to become a decently successful person with a family that own your own house. I think it is reasonable to conclude that the mother is not that terrible of a person.
Not true I know plenty of people who have gone on to success despite having truly awful parents,0 -
Sure you can become successful even if your parents are terrible people but I think that would be more of an exception rather than the rule. Meaning it is still reasonable for me to assume that the mother is at least an average mother. Perhaps it is the optimist in me but in general I think most parents are doing their best.
if you know nothing about the mother or the poster, you may be way off base. some mothers are terrible people and them squeezing out a kid or two doesn't change that.
You aren't a cold heartless *kitten* because you charge your mother rent.Yes, I would.
I don't consider myself a cold, heartless *kitten* because of it.
You charge your mother rent because you are a cold heartless *kitten*.
She could've swallowed you, or used a hanger or stairs. But as "terrible" of a person as she was, she managed to do a decent job for roughly 7 to 9 months.
In the scenario described you grow up to become a decently successful person with a family that own your own house. I think it is reasonable to conclude that the mother is not that terrible of a person.
Not true I know plenty of people who have gone on to success despite having truly awful parents,
They look out for the well being of their children and despite their mistakes they give it their best shot. In the scenario as it is described by the OP I do not see any reason we should be assuming the mother is a terrible person because a factor like that would be significant enough to mention and to omit it would be dishonest.0 -
No way not at all .... your parents are your responsibility at old age as you were their's when you were a kid. Even if you area not well off still I dont think they ever said you pay us for your food and rent as we dont have enough money when you were a small child so how can you????
I think if you genuinely can't afford to put food on the table or pay your bills on time, pooling your resources is a bit different. Children don't have 1200.00 incomes. That's what families do in tough situations (which I realize this isn't, but IF IT CAME DOWN TO IT...)
Well even then i wont ask .... but most parents wont sit with their money if they will see their children suffering .... they will contribute themselves .... and still if they wont I wont have the guts to ask for it .... i cant repay for even a single night my parents didn't sleep while I was sick or waking up early to send me to school or just the pain my mother was under while she was pregnant with me. Me personally i believe kids owe their life to their parents they can never pay them back.0 -
Sub the you and your for they and their, my answer still applies.
No. Because I want people to treat this as if they were the person I am talking about.
Well if I was the person you are referring to, I would go to the Home Depot and buy some rope to hang myself with, because I'm a selfish, entitled piece of crap that would throw their mother under the bus for an iThing. better?
Based on your response, you still believe that this is me, which is very narrow minded of you. Did it ever occur to you that I could possibly be a sibling to this person, and that I have just recently had my father past away?
This response is unnecessary and it doesn't even answer the question.
Actually, it does answer the question and I don't know WHAT about my response would indicate that I didn't believe you after you had explained. You don't seem to like the answer. If I was your sister, that's what I would do.
Unless you are saying that you would charge rent, you really need to read the original post. I wasn't asking what you would do if you were well off and charging your mom rent.0 -
difficult to say without all the facts since we can't tell if the parent is buying their own food, using little or lots of utilities (e.g. tonnes of electric equipment etc) but if money was tight and the parent was happy to contribute then I would take it, at a fair amount, in the sense that we are all in it together and really I think that is something that only that family can decide for themselves based on their own circumstances. If however money is not an issue in terms of the household budget I certainly would not expect a contribution and would not ask however if the parent did want to contribute then I would maybe look at them paying a little into an account for the children or them paying for a treat now and again, a meal out, a babysitter for the kids etc... Plenty of families do share costs on many things already. There is the parent's sense of not being a burden to also be considered and handled carefully too. (and yes I agree parents could never be a burden however not all parents may see that themselves!)
I paid rent to my parents as a working youngster and my children now pay rent to me though it is a nominal amount to teach them values of earning and paying rather than to actually keep them!! (they cost far more than they will ever realise lol)0 -
If you're well-off and you want more money from someone on a small elderly pension, you're greedy. Especially if it's the woman who spent her own money, energy and waking hours on you for 18 years. She's earned her retirement, let her relax & enjoy the few dollars she does get. It must be boring to live in a basement by herself.
Had the homeowners been struggling financially and felt the mother was making a huge increase in the bills (Food, hydro, phone calls, etc), then okay. Charge a small room & board. But in the situation you described, it sounds like they're asking her for money because they feel like it & don 't actually need it.
Respect the elders!0 -
Yes, unless she is providing some service to earn her stay (cleaning, cooking, watching the kids). Otherwise, I'd take about 40% to cover rent, utilities and food.
I would bank that money on the assumption that costs for her care would eventually start hitting me and I'd want a nest egg.0 -
NO. I wouldn't. But I think this is a really personal decision.
I get along great with my parents. My mom is my best friend, 100%. So I actually hope she does get to live with me someday. I fully plan to care for her and my dad in their old age and the idea doesn't bother me at all. That's what a lot of cultures do without even questioning it. But someone else may have a different relationship with their parents and feel differently. The history between you is important.
My maternal grandmother was divorced from my grandfather and lived with us in our household (which was my mom and dad, me, and my three older brothers) until she passed away. We didn't charge her, of course. It was great being able to be really close to her. She was more like a second mother to me. It can be a very positive thing for kids to be close with their grandparents.0 -
No. This exact thing was done to my grandma by my aunt. It was disgusting and truly deplorable. It really hurt my grandma.0
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Never.0
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