Would you charge your parents rent?

Missjulesdid

If I was otherwise going to rent out the space to someone else and I was counting on the rent from the space to assist in paying my mortgage, then yes, I'd charge her a modest rent if she could afford it... but if I wasn't going to rent out the space to someone else then I wouldn't charge her.

RonnieLodge

Situation (not my own situation):

You are doing well financially (mortgage paid off, you and your spouse have high paying/stable jobs etc.). You have 4 children that are all under the age of 10. You let your mom live in your finished basement after your dad passes away. Her only income is from the government (pension/benefits) which is around $800-1200 per month.

Would you charge her RENT?

IF ...

Yes - Then how much would you charge her ?

No - Tell us why, is it wrong ?

NO.

Because the mortgage is paid off and we have high paying jobs.

Because with 4 kids under 10 years old, there is a good chance mother would be an unpaid babysitter a lot of the time. And she will no doubt be spending lots of money on them.

Because when she dies, we would be benefitting from her estate.

Because she never charged me rent!

pwittek10

no, I would never charge my parents rent
BUT
I would always charge my children, when they have jobs and an income. I would save the rent money for
them when they were ready to buy a home and give it back to them then .

capriciousmoon

I know someone who was trying to do this and they kept trying to convince me that their mother wouldn't feel independent if she didn't pay for her stay. He was trying to tell me he was doing it so she wouldn't feel like she was being a burden. He wanted to charge her $1000 per month.

The relationship was never close, but there wasn't any real conflict between them. He did have a disagreement with his father and decided to not talk to both his father and mother for many years until he found out that his father was on his deathbed.

$1000? That's just crazy... especially if her income is limited. I could see having her chip in a bit of money if it really was about her feeling independent, but trying to charge that much is just wrong. If anything, it shouldn't be over $200.

If it was me and I was well off enough there's no way I'd take money from my mom. It's better that she has that money for whatever she may want or need.

kdeaux1959

Personally, no.

Fit4_Life

Even though my mother had charged me rent when I wasn't even living there. I was out of state working on a construction project. Her excuse was that I still had clothes in her house. Yes, I did pay her anyway.. And yet...I would not ask for rent from her if she was living with me. I believe children should help their parents out as they get older. It's called respect. I hope my kids help me out in return as well when I get to that age.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

No, not unless 1) I needed it and 2) they contributed to the house in no other way. If they were a productive member of my household and I didn't need the money I wouldn't, if having them in my house was a burden I would because then if want to pay for someone to help me with the things they should be doing. My parents didn't charge me rent when I was growing up, but I was expected to pull excellent grades, participate in activities, work, and help with chores and what not around the house. I would expect the same type of standard from my live in parents.

Fit4_Life

Nope, but I would expect her to help out with the kids and around the house as long as she was able.

^^ I agree with this. She could help out around the house doing small chores, if capable.

mustang289

I recently went through this with my father.

First, when I was about 19-20 I could have moved out and got an apartment, but we all agreed I would be better off staying at home. I paid a small rent and had a second phone line installed which I paid the bill.

Fast Forward 30 years. I live in the Chicago area, mom passed away in 1985, Dad remarried and moved to Florida and his second wife passed away in 2007. By this time he was 76 years old and in poor health. 55 yrs of smoking and he had COPD/emphysema pretty bad. Tough for him to get around and always had to be on oxygen.

I told him he was moving in with me and my wife (we are empty nesters). He resisted, but finally saw the logic in it but said the only way he would do it is if he paid his own way. So I went to Florida and helped him do an estate sale, after which I stuck around and helped him list, sell, and close on the house. Then we loaded up his car and we drove home to Chicago, just in time for New Year's Eve to welcome in 2008. When he got here he gave his car to my sister (she's on disability).

He had a generous retirement pay and said he had nothing to spend it on. He said if he was in his own apartment he would be paying $1500 - $2000 per month minimum for rent, meals, and occasional care. A nursing home or assisted living would be more like $3k - $5k or more. He would rather give that money to family than to a nursing home.

So he lived with me for 5 years until his passing earlier this year. I did 100% of his care, from meals and meds to laundry and bathing. Scheduled and took him to all his doctor appts. He said its better care than strangers would have given him, and we really enjoyed spending the last 5 years with him. He gave us a little money every month. Did we need it? no. Did we appreciate it? yes. Because at the same time I was caring for him I was also supporting my sister about 50%. He knew it, and he gave her money as well. And he paid for several high dollar home improvements on my brother's house.

So we all got something out of the relationship. He was able to stay with family and be close to other family members. He felt productive in that he was able to ease life's financial burdens for his three children.

It wasn't a matter of "if you don't pay rent you can't live with us", it was more a matter of a family sharing what they had with other members of the family.

77tes

Sometimes charging/paying rent makes the situation work better. Mom may not appreciate the implication that she needs to earn her place to live by being available to babysit 24/7. I would never judge the people one way or the other. That goes for grown kids living with parents.

AlongCame_Molly

Maybe just a small amount to help out with bills. $100-200/month at the most. If not rent (because her income is pretty small) I'd ask that she at least helps out around the house with a few dinners per week, helping babysit the kids, and some light housework.

Then I'd revisit the deal every 6 months to a year to make sure both parties are happy and comfortable.

helpfit101

I would discuss it with her. Tax-wise it may be in her and my best interest for her to pay rent, instead of leave the money to me after she were to pass away. We would do what would be best for both of us. Maybe that would be for her to pay USD900 rent and for me to pay all her other expenses out of my pocket. If she didn't feel good about that I wouldn't ask her to pay anything. But she would be fine about that.

Kaylee_law_123

Only if she charged me for babysitting, as lets face it, she'll end up doing a whole lot with those kids when she is there.

zoukeira

Nope. My parents have definitely sacrificed above and beyond what they ever had to for me, and if I was in the position the OP described, or even one that was worse, I'd take them in and flatly refuse any form of payment (except for some help with household chores!!)

3dogsrunning

I know someone who was trying to do this and they kept trying to convince me that their mother wouldn't feel independent if she didn't pay for her stay. He was trying to tell me he was doing it so she wouldn't feel like she was being a burden. He wanted to charge her $1000 per month.

The relationship was never close, but there wasn't any real conflict between them. He did have a disagreement with his father and decided to not talk to both his father and mother for many years until he found out that his father was on his deathbed.

I can totally understand the "not wanting to be a burden" thing. I would accept money if that was the case, however, I would find some way to give a good portion of it back.

In my own case - I wouldn't even think of it. My mom had done/sacrificed a lot of things for our happiness and I would want her to be as happy as possible. I also know that my mom would help out a ton with housekeeping/kids in this circumstance. She does for my sister/would for me already. If she insisted on paying rent I would insist on paying for that.

silken555

The second I turned 18 I was expected to get a job, pay half of the rent and buy my own food while I was also in college. I didnt mind at all though it was quite difficult. My mom was my roommate for 10 years...:)

She would probably insist on paying something because that is how she is. I would accept it but I'd make sure it was small so she'd be comfortable living with me. I would pay her to babysit seeing as I don't believe she needs to be available 24/7 for that.

I spoil my mom rotten now and that would probably still hold true...:)

vtmoon

The way I was raised I knew that I was one of the investments my parents had, so when the time comes I hope I can show some dividend payments, if in the form of money payments or rent free housing.

MyM0wM0w

I cant answer what anyone else SHOULD do... I know that I would never charge my Mom rent. She's the most amazing mom ever. A cross between Wonder Woman and Mother Theresa. If I could afford it I'd gladly give her an adjacent apartment to my house, furnish it, and hire a maid for her.

mamasitaroja

Not ever.

Would I make it obvious that I appreciate the potential for OCCASIONAL, short-term free babysitting for my 3? Um, yes.

But if the space is there and the love is there, I'd say this is the other end of the life journey continuum from your mom taking care of you when you needed it (at any age or financial status).

Candi_land

No way, not ever.

I'd want my Mom to enjoy herself as much as possible and spend the money she receives on treating herself. If I were financially well off my mother would not have to worry about a thing..ever. I may occasionally ask her to babysit her hypothetical grandkids..but that's about it.